Norms and rules of behavior in society. Rules of conduct in society: what distinguishes a well-mannered person

All people are individual. Their differences are due to a number of factors, the most significant of which are ethnicity, nationality, external data, character, thinking, worldview, goals, habits, interests, etc. Even among the seven billionth population of the Earth, there are no two absolutely identical people.

But, despite this, all people have one thing in common - their full life is possible only within the social cell. It is society that is the most comfortable environment for a person, regardless of personal factors.

general concepts

The norms of human behavior in society are a rather multifaceted concept that reflects the forms of interaction of a person with the world around him.

For example, imagine that you met with old friends with whom you have been friends for many years. You can afford to be free to wear what you see fit, not to be shy about profanity, cheeky gestures and bad habits. Friends are accustomed to you and perceive all your actions as the norm. Now imagine that you have come to work in a large corporation and plan to achieve a lot here. career success. Your image, actions and gestures in this situation will be radically different from the previous situation: appearance corresponds to the dress code, speech acquires a business coloring, bad habits are veiled as much as possible. But after a year or two, you go with your employees to a long-planned corporate party. In this situation, you can allow yourself to show a piece of your real self. Indeed, despite the fact that the composition of society has not changed, the situation has changed, and too restrained behavior can be perceived by others as distrust or hostility on your part.

Components of social norms

Lifestyle and behavior are dictated by a combination of external and internal factors, which were influenced by both the surrounding society and the person himself.
The system of norms of behavior includes the following concepts:

1. social norms- indicate the necessary model of behavior in a particular society.

2. habits is a set of personal behavioral models for a particular situation, fixed as a result of repeated repetition.

There are positive, neutral and bad habits. Positive habits are perceived with approval by society (greeting at a meeting, using polite words), neutral habits often do not cause any reactions (drinking tea without sugar, keeping a diary), bad habits speak of bad manners and characterize a person from a negative side (smoking, champing, talking with a full mouth, loud belching).

3. Manners- forms of behavior based on habits. They characterize the upbringing of a person and his belonging to a certain social stratum. An educated person knows how to dress elegantly, knows how to clearly formulate his thoughts and expresses them in a form understandable to the interlocutor.

4. Etiquette- a set of norms of behavior (politeness, tact, tolerance), relevant for the highest social strata.

5. public values- this is the standard of ideas approved by the majority of social units: goodness, justice, patriotism.

6. Principles- these are especially important and unshakable beliefs that a person creates for himself. These are some kind of boundaries set for self-control. For example, for one person, the family is the highest value, and he will never allow himself to betray. For another, fidelity is not included in the list of principles; he can repeat betrayal repeatedly without remorse.

Religion as a lever to control human behavior

Despite the achievements of science, progressive thinking and modern outlook on life, religion still remains one of the important factors in shaping the norms of individual behavior.

The priority importance of religion for a person is due to several factors:

1.Help from above. Every person sooner or later faces troubles that become a real test for his will. Bankruptcy, loss of property, divorce, serious illness or death of a loved one ... It is in such situations that people most often remember the presence in heaven invisible force. Their faith may be fickle, but at such moments they need someone to whom they can shift some of the responsibility, from whom they can expect help, albeit an illusory one.

2. Setting principles. It is religion that often becomes a dogmatic guide to behavior. Biblical commandments say not to kill, rob, and commit adultery, and some people take these principles as personal.

3. Search for the meaning of life. Another reason for turning to religion is the search for answers to eternal questions.

Behavior patterns

Each action performed by a person is conditioned by a corresponding motive, which, in turn, dictates the order of reproducible acts.

All actions fall into two categories:

1. Automatic- these are actions based on innate and acquired reflexes and skills that do not require mental awareness and are performed inertially. These include the ability to chew, breathe, walk upright, read, speak their native language.

2. Conscious- these are more complex actions or their combination, requiring the use of human intellectual capabilities. This model of behavior is based on the choice of one or another pattern of actions in an unfamiliar situation.

For example, you are angry with a person and want to express your indignation to him, insult and humiliate him. But you understand that your desire is temporary and is connected not only with this person, but also with your bad mood and general failures. If you succumb to aggression, then, most likely, you will forever lose contact with a person. It is consciousness that decides what to do in this situation, evaluating all the pros and cons. In addition, not last role plays the predominance of the logical or emotional component in the character.

Youth behavior

Youth is the perspective of the nation. Therefore, it is very important how the younger generation will be brought up.

The norms of human behavior in society call on young people to:

Be active members of society;
- set life goals and strive to achieve them;
- diversify your personality;
- exercise;
- get a decent education;
- lead a healthy lifestyle without smoking and drinking alcohol;
- do not use profanity and rude language in conversation;
- be respectful to the older generation;
- create a value system for yourself and stick to it;
- know and follow the rules of etiquette.

But in the modern world, the behavior of young people in society often differs from established norms and has a deviant character.

So, some young people aged 14 to 20 believe that smoking and drinking alcohol is fashionable, and attending lectures at the institute is an occupation for crammers. They prefer discos to books, are rude in their statements and have promiscuity.

Such behavior is most often formed under the influence of the company and requires immediate intervention from the parents.

Interaction of youth with the older generation

The problem of interaction between different generations will always be relevant. on which one age group was brought up, by the time of growing up, the other partly loses its relevance. As a result, misunderstandings and disagreements arise.

Among the main causes of conflicts are the incompatibility of interests, different, immoral behavior of one of the parties, the lack of a culture of communication, the struggle for superiority, unwillingness to concede.

Nevertheless, the values ​​and norms of behavior instilled in us from childhood say that the younger generation should yield to the older ones in any situation, even if such a decision seems unfair. In addition, it is necessary to adhere to a certain model of behavior. In communication, you need to use a respectful form of address - “you”, and also avoid slang. It is not allowed to ridicule and make fun of the elders. Refusing to help is considered bad manners.

Rules of conduct between spouses

To build a stable house, you need to lay a solid foundation and build walls brick by brick. So it is in family relationships - love is the foundation, behavior is the building blocks.

Married life is not only joyful moments, it is also disappointment, irritation and resentment. In order to adequately go through all the unpleasant moments and maintain the integrity of the marriage, you must follow a few simple rules:

Treat your partner as an equal;
- appreciate his personal qualities;
- support in any endeavors and not make fun of failures;
- discuss important points and make decisions together;
- do not switch to insults and insults;
- do not allow yourself assault;
- Be faithful to your spouse.

Business Etiquette

If the general norms of human behavior in society can vary depending on the situation, then business etiquette is a set of behavioral models that have the most delineated edge.

In the business world, there are 5 rules of etiquette:

1. Punctuality. Arrive to all important meetings on time, this will show your organization.

2. Competence. Be smart about what you talk about. Sometimes it is better to remain silent than to give false information.

3. Speech. Learn to speak fluently and clearly. Even the most successful idea, presented in clumsy and uncertain language, is doomed to failure.

4. Appearance speaks of your taste and status, so in your wardrobe, in addition to jeans and T-shirts, you must definitely have a suit for an important meeting.

5. Interaction. Listen to the opinions of others and do not trust your idea to the first person you meet.

Compliance with these rules plays a very important role, as it reflects the level of professionalism and the seriousness of the approach to business.

Deviant behavior: deviation from the norm

Rules and norms of human behavior may not always be expressed according to regulated standards. Some behavior patterns may have a significant deviation from the norm. Such a manner is defined as deviant. She may have like positive features, as well as negative ones.

A striking example of opposing deviants are terrorists and national heroes. The actions of both of them deviate from the behavior of the "middle masses", but are perceived by society differently.

Thus, the general norms of behavior can be placed on one axis, and deviant deviations on different poles.

Forms of abnormal behavior in society

The norms of human behavior in society, expressed as deviant, have four pronounced forms:

• Crime. IN last years this figure increased by 17%. In many ways, crime is due to the transition to market relations and a high level of competition, unemployment and low living standards, as well as psychological deviations. In addition, corruption in the legal and judicial-executive sectors is of no small importance, which allows, in the presence of wealth, to avoid liability for violation of the law.
• Alcoholism. Alcohol is an integral part of festive feasts and ordinary friendly meetings. It is used to celebrate something, relieve pain or just relieve stress. People are used to the fact that alcohol has become a part of their lives, and do not realize its detrimental effect on the individual and on society as a whole. According to statistics, 70% of crimes are committed while intoxicated, and drunk drivers are to blame for more than 20% of fatal accidents.

• Addiction. Dependence on a psychotropic substance, which depletes the body and leads to its degradation. Unfortunately, despite the official ban on drugs, every tenth teenager has tried one or more types of drugs.
• Suicide. Suicide is the intentional desire to take one's own life because of problems that seem unsolvable. According to world statistics, suicide is most common in highly developed countries, where there is high competition both in the business sphere and on the personal front. The age group most at risk are teenagers aged 14 to 18 and people of retirement age.

Sanctions for non-compliance

The rules and norms of behavior are regulated by the approved laws of the state and the unspoken rules of society.

Sanctions for deviant behavior vary depending on the severity of the violation.

For example, murder or robbery fall under the article of violation of the criminal code, therefore, are punishable by imprisonment. A provocation or a fight are administrative violations. As a liability for misconduct, the violator will be asked to pay a fine or perform civil work. Violations related to habits (not washing dishes, not cutting nails, being late for an important meeting, lying) will cause disapproval of society and further ignorance or contempt.

They set samples, according to which people interact with each other. Social norms indicate what human actions should or can be.

2. Social norms are general rules of conduct

This means that the requirements of social norms are not designed for an individual, as, for example, individual rules, but for all people living in society.

Moreover, the rules apply constantly, continuously, in a relationship all cases which are provided for by the rule.

In short, social norms establish a permanent, general criterion against which people's behavior must be correlated.

3.Social norms are binding rules of conduct

Since the norms are designed to streamline social relations and coordinate the interests of people, the requirements of the norms are protected by force. public opinion, and in case of special need - by state-imperious coercion.

Thus, social norms - these are general rules of conduct, continuously operating over time in relation to an indefinite circle of persons and an unlimited number of cases.

Types of social norms

All existing social norms can be classified on three grounds:

1. By area of ​​regulation social relations social norms are divided into:

- rules of law- obligatory rules of behavior of people, established and protected by the state;

- moral standards- rules of conduct that are established in society in accordance with the moral ideas of people about good and evil, justice and injustice, duty, honor, dignity. They are protected by the power of public opinion and (or) the inner convictions of a person;

- norms of custom- these are the rules of behavior that have developed as a result of a long repetition by people of certain actions, fixed as stable norms;

A special role in primitive society belonged to such a variety of customs as rituals. A ritual is a rule of conduct in which the most important thing is a strictly predetermined form of its execution. The content of the ritual itself is not so important - it is its form that matters most. Rituals accompanied many events in the life of primitive people. We know about the existence of rituals of seeing off fellow tribesmen for hunting, taking office as a leader, presenting gifts to leaders, etc.

Somewhat later, in ritual actions, they began to distinguish rites. Rites were rules of conduct, consisting in the performance of certain symbolic actions. Unlike rituals, they pursued certain ideological (educational) goals and had a more serious impact on the human psyche.

- norms of traditions- these are historically developed and transmitted from generation to generation generalized rules related to the maintenance of family, national and other foundations;

- political norms- these are general rules of conduct that regulate relations between classes, social groups related to the exercise of state power, the way the state is organized and operates.

- economic norms are the rules of conduct that govern public relations associated with the production, distribution and consumption of material goods.

- norms of public organizations(corporate norms) are the rules of conduct that regulate social relations within various public organizations between their members. These norms are established by the public organizations themselves and are protected by means of the measures provided for by the charters of these organizations.

-religious norms as a type of social norms arise in the era of primitiveness. Primitive man, aware of his weakness before the forces of nature, attributed to the latter divine power. Initially, the object of religious admiration was a real-life object - a fetish. Then a person began to worship any animal or plant - a totem, seeing in the latter his ancestor and protector. Then totemism was replaced by animism (from lat. "anima" - soul), i.e., faith in spirits, the soul, or the universal spirituality of nature. Many scientists believe that it was animism that became the basis for the emergence of modern religions: over time, among supernatural beings, people identified several special ones - gods. This is how the first polytheistic (pagan) and then monotheistic religions appeared;

2. By way of education social norms are divided into spontaneously educated(norms of rituals, traditions, morals) and norms, formed as a result of the conscious activity of people(rules of law).

3. According to the method of fastening social rules of conduct are divided into written and oral. Moral norms, customs, traditions, as a rule orally are passed down from generation to generation. Unlike them, legal regulations become binding and state protection only after their written confirmation and publication in special acts (laws, resolutions, decrees, etc.).

In modern society, there are two main types of social norms (rules of conduct): socio-technical And proper social. Rules are used to regulate human behavior in its relationship with nature, technology, or in the sphere of social relations. The diversity of human activity in society leads to a variety of rules of conduct, the totality of which ensures the regulation of relations.

Social norms can develop spontaneously or be created; consolidated and expressed orally or in writing.

The relationship between law and morality includes four components: 1) unity, 2) difference, 3) interaction, 4) contradiction.

1. The unity of law and morality is expressed in the following features:

Varieties of social norms, i.e. they have the same normative basis;

They pursue the same goals and objectives: the socialization of society;

They have the same object of regulation - public relations; the requirements of law and morality for social relations coincide. However, law and morality regulate social relations to a different extent;

Determine the boundaries of the proper and possible actions of the subjects of public relations;

They are superstructural phenomena, which makes them socially of the same type in a given society;

Both law and morality act as fundamental general historical values, indicators of the social and cultural progress of society. In general, law is morality erected into law.

2. The difference between law and morality consists in the following characteristics:

Various ways of establishment, formation. Legal norms are created or sanctioned, canceled, changed or supplemented only by the state, since law expresses the state will of society. Moral norms, in turn, arise and develop spontaneously, in the process of people's practical activities. At the same time, morality is unofficial (non-state) in nature;

Law and morality have different methods of ensuring them. Behind the legal norms is the apparatus of state coercion, potential and possible. At the same time, the legal norms enshrined in laws are generally binding. Morality is based on the power of public opinion. Violation of moral norms does not entail the intervention of punitive state bodies;

Various forms of external expression, fixation. Legal norms are fixed in the legal acts of the state, they are grouped, systematized. Moral norms, in turn, do not have such clear forms of expression, are not taken into account, are not processed, but arise and exist in the minds of people;

Different character and way of their influence on consciousness and behavior of people. Law regulates the relationship between subjects in terms of their legal rights and obligations, while morality approaches human actions from the standpoint of moral values;

Different nature and order of responsibility for violation of legal and moral norms, respectively. Illegal actions entail legal liability, which is procedural in nature. Measures of responsibility in the form of public influence are applied to the violator of moral norms.

The concept and types of legal relations.

BY- general relations settled legal norms*, cat participants. have subjective rights and legal. responsibilities. Software allows you to "translate" abstract legal entities. norms into the plane of personified connections, i.e. on the level of subjective rights and legal. responsibilities for these subjects.

* this is coming from the state andprotected by himobligatory formally defined prescription, expressed as a rule of conduct or starting establishment and isebeing the state regulator of general relations

The software has a complex composition structure:

1) subject Software is the participants of legal relations, possessing the corresponding subjective rights and legal obligations. Sign - legal personality (a legally fixed opportunity to have P. and O., independently implement them, and also be responsible for the results of one's behavior). Legal personality = legal capacity + desp.

2) object Software - 2 points of view: 1) this is what the rights and obligations of software subjects are aimed at, about which they enter into legal action. connections (goods themselves); 2) what this software is aimed at - the behavior of the subjects of this software, aimed at various kinds of material and non-material benefits (and not the benefits themselves).

3) yur content Software - subjective right and legal. duty. (+ there is an opinion that the content of the software is the actual behavior aimed at the implementation of sub. rights and obligations).

Jur. duty- a measure of legal proper conduct, established to satisfy the interests of an authorized person (+ (VN) the need to take certain actions or refrain from doing them; the need for a legally binding person to respond to pro-authorization requirements addressed to him; not to bear responsibility for non-fulfillment of the requirement) .

Subjective law (Konopch) -

Composition and content of legal relations.

Jur. duty- a measure of legal proper behavior, established to satisfy the interests of an authorized person (+ (VN) the need to perform certain actions or refrain from performing them; the need for a legally binding person to respond to legal requirements addressed to him; not to bear responsibility for non-fulfillment of requirements) .

Subjective law (Konopch)- this is a legally guaranteed type and measure of the possible behavior of an authorized person, established. legal norm, which consists of 3 powers (- the right to own actions (inaction) / - the right to demand an action (inaction) from another person / - the right to protection - the ability to resort to state. coercion) and follows from objective law.

material content(actual) (definite actions in which the rights and obligations of the parties are realized).

+ ??Volitional content(State will, embodied in the rights of the norm and arising on the basis of legal relationship, as well as volitional acts of its students).

The concept and types of subjects of legal relations.

Subjects- these are participants in legal relations with appropriate subjective rights and legal obligations. Sign - legal personality (a legally fixed opportunity to have P. and O., independently implement them, and also be responsible for the results of one's behavior). Legal personality = legal capacity + desp.

There are the following types of subjects of legal relations; individual and collective.

1 TO individual subjects(individuals) include: 1) citizens; 2) persons with dual citizenship; 3) stateless persons; 4) foreigners.

Stateless persons and foreigners can enter into the same legal relations on the territory of Russia as citizens of the Russian Federation, subject to a number of restrictions established by law: they cannot elect and be elected to representative bodies of power in Russia, hold certain positions in the state. apparatus, serve in the Armed Forces, etc.

2)K collective subjects relate: 1) the state as a whole (when, for example, it enters into international legal relations with other states, in constitutional and legal relations - with subjects of the federation, in civil law - regarding federal state property, etc.); 2) state organizations; 3) non-governmental organizations (private firms, commercial banks, public associations etc.).

Collective entities have the qualities of a legal entity in private law relations. According to Part 1 of Art. 48 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation "a legal entity is an organization that owns, manages or manages separate property and is liable for its obligations with this property, can acquire and exercise property and personal non-property rights on its own behalf, bear obligations, be a plaintiff and a defendant in court"

The concept of legal personality.

Subject of law - this is a software participant with acc. subjective rights and legal responsibilities.

Legal personality – legal a fixed opportunity for a person to have rights and obligations, independently exercise them within the framework of a specific software, and be responsible for the results of his behavior. Pravosub. \u003d legal capacity + legal capacity.

Legal personality including:

1)Legal capacity is a potential ability persons act as a bearer of subjective rights and obligations.

In subjects-individuals: arises from birth and ends with death; comes immediately in full; restriction is not allowed.

For collective entities: starts from the moment of their official recognition (registration).

-general- this is the ability of any person or organization to be a subject of law as such, in general.

-branch- jur. the ability of an individual entrepreneur or organization to be a subject of a particular branch of law. In each industry, the timing of its onset can be. are not the same (Marchenko).

-special - the ability to be a participant in software arising in connection with holding a certain position (president, judge, member of parliament) or belonging to certain categories of subjects of law (employees of a number of vehicles, law enforcement agencies, etc.).

2)legal capacity- the actual ability of a person by his conscious volitional actions to acquire and exercise rights, create duties for himself and fulfill them (+ in Romashov: ..and also bear responsibility).

Capacity is associated with the mental and age properties of a person and depends on them.

* Types of individual legal capacity by volume:

1) full from the age of 18 (from the age of 16 - marriage, emancipation in the GP) - can realize the basic rights and obligations.

2) incomplete:

Partial (from 14 to 18 years old) - can independently realize only a part of their potential P. and O. This is due to circumstances of an objective nature.

Limited - associated with the forced restriction of a previously fully capable individual (either a measure of responsibility (N: deprivation of a driver's license), or a measure of preventive or remedial character (N: restriction in the desp-ty of an alcoholic)

* Types of individual capacity by character:

General (implement the main P. and O.)

Special (due to a special legal status and depends on many factors (occupation, citizenship ..)

The legal capacity of collective entities arises simultaneously with the legal right at the time of registration. Types: general, special.

*Art. 27 of the Civil Code (emancipation): A minor who has reached sixteen years of age may be declared fully capable if he works under an employment contract, including under a contract, or, with the consent of his parents, adoptive parents or guardian, is engaged in entrepreneurial activities.

Object of legal relationship: concept and types.

Software object- this is what the rights and obligations of software subjects are aimed at, about which they enter into legal action. connections.

People always participate in software for their own interests.. This goal is achieved through rights and obligations that ensure the receipt of certain benefits ( what gives prosperity, satisfies needs)

There are 2 approaches to understanding this category:

1) the behavior of the subjects of this software, aimed at various kinds of material and non-material benefits (and not the benefits themselves).

2) according to the second approach, objects can be:

a) material goods, objects of the material world - things;

b) the results of the spiritual, intellect. creativity (art or documentaries, scientific and art books, etc.)

c) the behavior of people - their certain actions or inactions, as well as the consequences, results of this or that behavior;

d) personal indigence. and other social good, cat. serve to meet the needs of the participants in the software and about the cat's parties have jur. obligations and subjective rights. (honor, dignity)

Central Bank and documents (money, shares, diplomas, certificates).

The concept and classification of legal facts. actual composition.

YurFact- specific life circumstances with which the law associates the emergence, change and termination of legal relations. YurFact- these are specific life circumstances, with a cat. the law binds the onset of various jur. consequences.

At legal the fact indicates the hypothesis of the rule of law.

Manners largely reflect the internal culture of a person, his moral and intellectual qualities. The ability to behave correctly in society is of great importance: it facilitates the establishment of contacts, contributes to the achievement of mutual understanding, creates good, stable relationships. Therefore, in order to educate true ladies and gentlemen in oneself, one should clearly understand why all these boring rules of etiquette are needed in society.

Description

The established norms of morality are the result of a long process of establishing relationships between people. Without observance of these norms, political, economic, cultural relations are impossible, because it is impossible to exist without respecting each other, without imposing certain restrictions on oneself.

Important! Etiquette is a word of French origin, meaning demeanor. It includes the rules of courtesy and politeness adopted in society.

Modern etiquette inherits the customs of almost all peoples from hoary antiquity to the present day. Basically, these rules of conduct are universal, since they are observed not only by representatives of a given society, but also by representatives of the most diverse socio-political systems that exist in the modern world. The peoples of each country make their own amendments and additions to etiquette, due to social order countries, national traditions and customs.

As the living conditions of mankind change, the level of education and culture grows, some rules of behavior are replaced by others. What used to be considered indecent becomes generally accepted, and vice versa. But the requirements of etiquette are not absolute: their observance depends on the place, time and circumstances.

Interesting to know! Behavior that is unacceptable in one place and under one circumstance may be appropriate in another place and under other circumstances.

The norms of etiquette, in contrast to the norms of morality, are conditional, they are in the nature of an unwritten agreement about what is generally accepted in people's behavior and what is not. Every cultured person should not only know and observe the basic norms of etiquette, but also understand the need for certain rules and relationships.

It should be noted that a tactful and well-mannered person behaves in accordance with the norms of etiquette not only at official ceremonies, but also at home. Genuine politeness, which is based on benevolence, is determined by tact, a sense of proportion, suggesting what can and cannot be done under certain circumstances. Such a person will never violate public order, will not offend another by word or deed, will not offend his dignity.

Unfortunately, there are people with a double standard of behavior: one - in public, the other - at home. At work, with acquaintances and friends, they are polite, helpful, but at home with loved ones they do not stand on ceremony, are rude and tactless. This speaks of a low culture of a person and a bad upbringing.

Important! Modern etiquette regulates the behavior of people at home, at work, in public places and on the street, at a party and at various official events - receptions, ceremonies, negotiations.

So, etiquette is a very large and important part of human culture, morality, morality, developed over many centuries of life by all peoples in accordance with their ideas of goodness, justice, humanity - in the field of moral culture and beauty, order, improvement, household expediency .

Why are codes of conduct necessary?

Oddly enough, the rules of etiquette exist in order to simplify the process of communication and mutual understanding. The way in which we are perceived by the people around us directly depends on the observance of the norms of behavior. Etiquette is a ready-made set of forms of courtesy that allows you not to think and almost automatically carry out communication within the human community.

Etiquette is a tool with which you can achieve a positive result from communicating with your own kind. This property of etiquette today is not replaceable in Everyday life, therefore, the rules of etiquette are constantly evolving, and today we can distinguish the rules of conduct for a public place, work, for intra-family communication, business conferences, ceremonies and much more.

At the heart of etiquette is a reasonable demand for respect and recognition of the dignity of each individual. Since a person is a social being, it is quite reasonable to assume that in his daily activities, he must somehow take into account the opinions of other people around him at a given moment in time.

Not in vain, many teachers of antiquity remembered the golden rule: "Treat others the way you would like them to treat you."

Basics of etiquette

The norms and rules of behavior in society apply to all forms of human interaction with the outside world. Educated behavior implies that a person reacts correctly to any events and does not respond with outbursts of anger to negativity.

Manners

Kindness and respect for others are the most important rules public behavior. But the list of good manners is quite extensive. Let's consider the main ones:

1. Think not of yourself, but of others. Surrounding people prioritize sensitivity, not selfishness.
2. Show hospitality and friendliness. If you invite guests, treat them like your closest people.
3. Be polite in communication. Always say welcome and farewell words, thank for the gifts and services rendered, not only in word, but also in deed. A thank you letter, although it seems like a relic of the past, will be appropriate and pleasant for the recipient.
4. Avoid boasting. Let others judge you by your actions.
5. Listen first, then speak. Do not interrupt the interlocutor - you will have time to express your point of view later.
6. Don't point your finger at people and don't stare piercingly. This confuses them, especially the disabled.
7. Do not violate someone else's personal space - for example, do not get too close to unfamiliar people and use stuffy perfume. Never smoke in public without asking permission from your interlocutors, especially in the presence of non-smokers - no one likes passive smoking.
8. Avoid criticism and complaints. A person with good manners tries not to offend people with negative statements and does not complain about fate.
9. Remain calm in all situations. Anger not only leads to unnecessary conflicts with others, but also brings dissonance into one's own inner world.
10. Control your speech so as not to raise your voice, even if you start to get nervous.
11. Be punctual. Being late shows that you don't know how to plan your day and don't value other people's time.
12. Keep your word. An unfulfilled promise can lead to real tragedy in the life of the person you hope for.
13. Pay back your debts promptly. Failure to comply with this rule often causes not only the termination of friendship and good relationships, but also serious enmity.

Cloth

Appearance in business etiquette is of great importance. Business people in appearance are more likely to adhere not so much to fashion as to a certain level. The main rule when choosing clothes is its strict compliance with the time and situation.

business style

In most companies, the style of clothing of employees is given special attention; the way employees are dressed and how they behave in the office creates a certain impression of the company's image among potential customers and partners.

In addition, the dress code performs a number of important functions: clothing emphasizes the specifics of a particular situation, and also plays a decisive role. social role, in one way or another reflecting gender, social status, profession, financial viability, as well as a person's attitude to style, fashion and traditions.

Men should pay special attention to shirts:

1. Many men prefer plain shirts, while stylists do not recommend making a business wardrobe from plain shirts that differ from each other only in a shade of the same color. Ideal in wardrobe business man must have at least ten shirts different colors and shades. Universal colors: gray, dark brown, dark blue, tan and white.
2. Pastel shades are allowed in the color scheme of business shirts, but too light pastel looks quite festive, so it is better to avoid such shades in a casual business wardrobe.
3. Vertical striped shirts are quite appropriate in the wardrobe of a business man. As for the length of the sleeve, the only correct solution in this case is a classic long-sleeved shirt. Hairy arms are not the most pleasant sight.
4. The official office dress code, as well as the standard one, does not favor checkered shirts, wide bright stripes, as well as things with prints and patterns. Clothing should not distract the attention of colleagues and partners, in some countries a certain combination of checks or stripes is associated with belonging to a particular national or political movement, therefore, in order to avoid erroneous interpretation of your image, it is better to keep your business wardrobe in a monochromatic way.

Also, you can not ignore the trousers:

1. Pants made of light fabrics distract attention from the shirt and the image as a whole. Do not wear light-colored pants to an interview or business meeting, it is better to give preference to trousers in black, dark brown, navy blue or charcoal gray. The edge of the trousers should lie on the top of the shoe, but at the same time not gather at the bottom into ugly folds.
2. A shirt in the color of the trousers gives the impression of a military uniform, a win-win option is dark trousers and a light shirt, but not vice versa.
3. Denim clothing, of course, is very practical, but it is not appropriate in a business setting, especially when it comes to grated and light denim. In some companies, the dress code allows the presence of jeans, but for the most part such clothing is allowed in small companies associated with creativity, advertising or IT-technologies.

The office dress code for women differs from the men's in a wider choice of colors and clothing options in general.

The base of a women's business wardrobe is discreet elegant suits with trousers or a skirt, classic-length dresses, pencil skirts and shirt-cut blouses.

1. Glitter, a variety of sequins and rhinestones, rich embroidery and applique, bright flashy colors and prints are unacceptable in business clothes. Anything that diverts attention from your professional activities is not particularly welcome from the point of view of business etiquette in clothes.
2. For the fair sex, at least for those who would like to achieve career development using only their professional qualities, short skirts and too tight clothes should be avoided.
3. The color scheme of a business women's wardrobe is elegant and discreet shades, as a color accent in some ensembles, the presence of saturated colors, such as fuchsia, turquoise, and shades of precious stones, is allowed.
4. Business woman's shoes are classic beige or black pumps or shoes with steady heels. Ballet flats and mules are comfortable, but it's best not to be seen by your boss, clients, or business associates wearing them.

Formal dress code

Those who believe that an evening dress is necessarily a long chic dress are mistaken. Evening festive costumes are as diverse as our everyday clothes. And the choice of this or that dress completely depends on the event that is expected. Even there is a special etiquette of evening dresses.

It is clear that the evening is different in the evening. There are both official events and unofficial ones. And if on the latter we allow a fairly free choice of outfits, then the former are limited by certain limits.

1. "White Tie" (White Tie) - a dress code for an event that is distinguished by special solemnity. It could be an awards ceremony, a presidential reception, or other similar evenings. Women's attire for such events should consist of a long dress in non-flashy tones. Hands must be covered, so gloves are a must. The image of an elegant lady should be completed with high-heeled shoes and a small handbag. Jewelry and loose hair are unacceptable for this style of clothing.
2. "Black Tie" (Black Tie) - a long or cocktail dress. Jewelry may well be used as decoration, but the presence of gloves is not necessary. In this outfit, it is quite possible to be present at theatrical premieres or wedding banquets. Use a fur coat as capes, although the presence of fur in clothes is not prerequisite to dress up for such events.
3. “Black tie is welcome” (Black Tea Invited) - a similar form of clothing is allowed at events where relatives and friends are present: corporate parties, family celebrations. Here it is quite possible to wear a regular festive costume, as an alternative to a cocktail dress.
4. “Black Tie Optional” is another type of clothing for close and family celebrations. An outfit assembled from elements of several sets is allowed here.
5. “Black tie, creative approach” (Creative Black Tie) - this form of clothing is in many ways similar to Black Tie, the only difference is that non-standard solutions are welcome here in making a combination of clothes. Creativity is not prohibited, but rather encouraged.
6. "Semi formal" (Semi Formal). The dress code largely depends on what time the event starts, be it a family or a dinner party, corporate party. Until 18:00, you may well come in a day dress or just a festive costume. If the meeting time is scheduled for the evening, then you need to wear a cocktail dress.
7. "Cocktail" (Cocktail Attire) - semi-official events. Despite the name, one cocktail dress is not limited here. Holiday outfits are perfect too.
8. “After five” (After 5) - in a similar name, the time of the event is indicated - after 17:00. If there are no special instructions, then you can wear the same outfits as for Cocktail Attire.
9. "Easy evening style" (Dressy Casual) - all these evenings are semi-formal. The only requirement for a woman: she must wear clothes from famous designers.

But I must say that etiquette is not limited to the mere correspondence of the type of meeting and dress code. The rules also apply to the level of openness of the female body. So, for example, a dress with a neckline should not be worn at events that take place before 18:00. It is appropriate only after 20:00. And if your outfit has a deep neckline, then you can wear it only from 22:00. Shoulders can be bared only after 19 hours. If your outfit includes gloves, then the following rule applies: the shorter the sleeve, the longer the glove.

If the holiday starts after 20:00, then you can put on silk kid, cloth or lace gloves, and complement the festive clothes with a handbag made of beads, brocade or silk. A hat - if you put it on, then during the evening you will have to constantly be in it. But this is only when you are not the hostess of the evening.

In this case, you are not entitled to a hat. There are rules even on fabrics that are used for various events. So, at meetings that take place until 20:00, fashion designers offer to use clothes made of silk and wool. If we are talking about an evening dress, then crepe, brocade, tarfa, silk, lace are used. Remembering these rules of etiquette is not so difficult, but with the help of them you will never find yourself in an awkward situation.

Ability to present yourself

We all know that the most important thing is what a person has inside. But at the same time, we unconsciously continue to evaluate others by their appearance and behavior. And the first impression is often so strong that it is extremely difficult to change it in the future. As a result, a person cannot climb the career ladder, win the favor of others, find his place in the team, and not only.

Advice! That is why it is so important to learn how to properly present yourself when communicating with other people.

Only in this way will you be able to form the right impression of yourself and show others how interesting you really are.

To attract the appropriate attention, it is not enough to wear a fashionable suit and purchase expensive accessories. If you want to present yourself correctly, then you should approach this issue comprehensively.

1. Define your strengths . You need to understand what exactly sets you apart from others. For example, you can make decisions quickly, easily win over other people, and have a great sense of humor. Having understood your unique qualities, do not hide them from others, but actively demonstrate and put them into practice.
2. Learn to be proud of what you have. No matter how gray and boring our lives sometimes seem to us, in reality, each of us has something that we could be sincerely proud of. A cozy apartment, a collection of retro records, an interesting job, talented children, true friends. Enjoy these moments and don't be afraid to brag a little about them to others.
3. Don't be afraid to share your accomplishments. Even if some time has passed since then. Excessive modesty can decorate few people. And do not be afraid that others will consider you overly arrogant. Talking about your youthful sports achievements or your own attempt to learn Spanish will only allow others to get to know and understand you better.
4. Don't be afraid to leave your comfort zone. This rule applies to both work and personal life. Sometimes you need to do what scares you the most - ask your boss for a promotion, be the first to strike up a conversation with a person you are interested in, volunteer to organize a party, and more. Although such undertakings do not always end with the desired result, you will undoubtedly be able to attract positive attention with their help.
5. Make your life more fulfilling. Most of us know only work and home, we have little interest in anything and almost nothing. There is nothing surprising in the fact that such people are perceived as mediocre. If you caught yourself on the fact that your life is becoming more and more gray and the same type every day, then it's time to return bright colors to it. Try to get carried away with something, find new friends, go on a trip. New impressions will make your eyes glow, which will be instantly noticed by the people who surround you.
6. Don't be afraid to look stupid. If you are trying to stay in the background and do not want to attract too much attention to yourself, in fear of saying something inappropriate, then you are wrong. People will instantly open up to you if you stop avoiding them. In this case, your knowledge or communication skills will play almost no role.
7. Be kind. If you want to form a positive opinion of yourself among others, then try to be as open as possible when communicating with other people. Your friendliness will be immediately noticed and appreciated. Remember that positive and open natures achieve much more in life than gloomy and withdrawn people, no matter how talented they really are.

Rules of etiquette

For men and women, the general rules of etiquette are somewhat different.

For men

The image of a well-bred young man consists not only of the ability to behave well towards a woman. Opening the door for a lady, letting her in front of you or helping to carry a heavy bag is certainly good, but the rules of etiquette for men do not end there. Polite speech, a culture of behavior, a well-chosen suit and much more are also an integral part.

There are 14 basic rules of behavior for men in relation to women that every self-respecting modern young man should know:

1. On the street, a young man must accompany a lady, walking along left side from her. On the right side, only the military have the right to go, if necessary, to salute.
2. If a girl stumbles or slips, a man must certainly hold her by the elbow. Although in real circumstances the choice remains with the lady.
3. Good manners do not allow smoking in front of a lady, only after her consent.
4. A real man always lets the lady go first, having previously opened the door for her.
5. When climbing or descending the stairs, the young man is obliged to support his companion if necessary, for this he is a couple of steps away from her.
6. When entering the elevator, the man must enter it first, and when leaving, let the girl through first.
7. The young man gets out of the car first, who, bypassing the car, opens the door on the passenger side, giving the lady a hand. If a man is a driver of transport, then he is obliged to open the front passenger door and help the lady sit down. In case the gentleman is also a passenger, he needs to sit in the back seat with his companion. It should be remembered that in this case, the girl first gets into the car, and then the man next to her.
8. Entering the room, a man helps the lady take off her coat, and leaving it, he must help put it on.
9. In the modern world, a young man is not supposed to find a seat for himself if a woman is standing.
10. According to etiquette, a young man needs to come to a meeting before a lady, so as not to put her in an uncomfortable situation if she is late. In emergency cases, you should notify the girl about this and apologize to her.
11. A man is obliged to help every woman to carry large bags or any bulky items. These do not include a woman's handbag, as well as small fur coats and coats, except for the case if the lady is not able to carry her things herself because of her health.
12. The main mistake a young man, when communicating with someone, is crossing his arms, as well as sorting something in his hands. This is considered a sign of disrespect to the opponent.
13. When going to a restaurant, the gentleman first comes in so that the head waiter makes the right conclusions about who invited whom and who will pay the bill. With a large number of people, the first person to enter is the one who will pay and is the initiator of the invitation.
14. Being in a company, a young man with a girl is forbidden to speak on frank topics, it is better to choose light, unobtrusive subjects for discussion.

For women

There is a certain set of rules that will help to avoid embarrassing moments in life situations that every girl finds herself in every day.

1. When you meet someone you know on the street, be sure to greet them. Consider the degree of closeness of your relationship. You should not show excessive emotions too loudly and violently or try to call out to a friend across the street, it is enough to meet eyes and nod to each other.
2. Avoid snacking on the go outside. Firstly, there is a high probability of choking, and secondly, you can inadvertently stain a random passerby. This also applies to eating in shops or other public places that are not intended for this.
3. During a telephone conversation, make sure that your voice is not too loud. If this is not possible, move away from the main crowd - your negotiations should not be in the public domain.
4. Do not sort things out in public if you do not want to receive the condemnation of others. Passionately kissing with your gentleman is also not worth it.
5. Don't get into fights with strangers. If you have made a remark, even unfair, it is better to apologize or remain silent. Remember that you are a real lady.
6. Try not to be late for meetings, come on time if you are invited to visit. Punctuality is an elementary rule of decency that any woman must comply with. If, despite everything, you understand that you are not on time, be sure to call in advance and warn how long you will be late.
7. Be mindful of your posture and gestures while talking. Your movements should be restrained, smooth, feminine, should not attract attention and shock.
8. Makeup girl must match the situation. During the day and at work, it is better to choose neutral decorative cosmetics in natural tones, but an evening social event allows you to apply bright lipstick and glitter eyeshadow.
9. A trip to a restaurant begins with studying the menu and making an order. Don't be afraid to ask the waiter, for example, about ingredients, serving method, cooking time.
10. If the waiter brought your order earlier than the others, you should not immediately grab the fork and knife. In this case, you must wait until everyone has plates on the table.
11. Defiant behavior always repels others, especially men, at any stage in the development of relationships. Remember that a woman should always remain a mystery and understatement, so do not violently express your emotions - do not forget about restraint.
12. Don't be too intrusive. Even if the relationship is going through a “candy-bouquet” period, you should not often call or write messages to your partner. Only one call from a woman should fall on three or four calls from a man.
13. Too indifferent and arrogant girl should not be either. This will be perceived as disrespectful and will alienate a potential partner.
14. With pleasure, let a man take care of you, but do not wait and do not demand when, for example, they open the door for you or give you flowers.

For children

By teaching children about etiquette and giving them a set of guidelines, we are actually equipping them with the tools to make them heard, build their confidence in their own abilities, and set them up for future success.

So, here is a list of etiquette rules that parents should teach their children.

1. Greet the person by name, and if you don't know their name, ask. Greeting by name is a sign of respect that tells a person that you appreciate him. Therefore, it is important to teach children to always greet adults by their first and middle names or ask if they do not know their names.
2. Never be afraid to ask again if you forget the name of the interlocutor: people understand that sometimes children can forget names. Everyone does it. In this case, the phrase is quite acceptable: "I'm sorry, I can't remember your name, could you remind me of it?".
3. Try to look the interlocutor in the eye: looking into the eyes of a person while communicating with him is useful not only for children, but also for adults. Also, teach children not to be distracted; otherwise, the interlocutor will receive a signal that you are not interested in him. Eye contact is simple but effective method help children win the heart of every adult they meet on life path. Of course, if such eye contact is characteristic of a given culture and social norms.
4. Remembering Details and Active Listening: It's a Simple Rule good manners, but it has a significant impact on how other people perceive you. Remembering names and specific details (such as an illness or a recent return from vacation) suggests caring and respect.
5. Be careful - stop and look around: children are often blissfully unaware of their surroundings. They have one motivation for another. For example, you came with the kids to the zoo, and while you are looking at the elephants, they suddenly notice something interesting in another place. Without thinking for a second about what is around them, the kids run headlong and almost fall under the wheels wheelchair an older man who gets flustered and angry for obvious reasons.
6. Red light, yellow light, green light: you may have noticed that teachers, swimming and football coaches, and many other adult mentors in your children's lives use this valuable tool. By using green light to "go", yellow light to "slow down", and red light to "stop", you can control the movements and movements of children without raising your voice. Start using this method as early as possible and introduce it to your little ones as a game. Soon, with practice, they will become very good at determining when to "go", when to "slow down", and when they should "stop".
7. Removing hands from the glass: this rule may seem a little ridiculous. Teach children not to touch, especially dirty, glass surfaces so that they do not leave stains, and your dance teacher, store owner, librarian, doctor and many other people will be very grateful to you.
8. Eating off someone else's plate - even mom's plate - is a bad idea: some families play the game of "stealing" food from each other's plates. This can be very funny and acceptable at home when the whole family participates in and enjoys such a game, but it ceases to be funny when someone who does not understand this kind of joke is involved in it. Eating food off another person's plate is unacceptable. It's much better to politely ask for supplements, even if Mom or Dad has to give the child the supplement off their plate.
9. Napkin on knees, elbows off the table: these days these rules of etiquette are considered old fashioned and many people treat them a little casually. However, since different families have different traditions, children should be taught these rules of conduct at the table so that in any situation they remain on top.
10. Don't reach for anything. An old but true rule. Norm of etiquette is not allowed to reach across the entire table for something. Every parent knows how frustrating it is when a child overturns a glass and spills its contents on the dining table. In order not to spill tea on your neighbor's lap and not to make everyone sitting at the table nervous, you must politely ask to give you what you want.
11. In conversations with adults, wait to be spoken to: this is a rather old-fashioned rule that has lost its appeal in recent decades. However, in modern technological world where it's hard to tell when an adult is busy, it's actually very important that the kids don't interrupt the person when they're talking.
12. Watch your words: before, bullying and harassment (bullying) happened only in person. Most parents teach their children the importance of being kind in person because bullying is unacceptable. However, malicious comments and insults have now moved into cyberspace and are often beyond the control of adults. Do your best to make the children understand that words can hurt another person.

How to behave in society?

The rules of etiquette, they are also the elementary rules of respect and courtesy, work both ways. You show them to another person, he shows them to you.

That way everyone wins. But there are several nuances that are worth recalling and clarifying for every self-respecting person:

1. Never visit without calling. If you are visited unannounced, you can afford to be in a dressing gown and curlers.
2. Whoever you are - a director, an academician, an elderly woman or a schoolboy - when you enter the room, say hello first.
3. Handshake: it is not customary to shake hands with women, but if she extends her hand to a man first, you should shake it, but not as hard as men.
4. Rules for paying for an order in a restaurant: if you say the phrase “I invite you”, it means you are paying. If a woman invites a business partner to a restaurant, she pays. Another wording: "Let's go to a restaurant" - in this case, everyone pays for himself, and only if the man himself offers to pay for the woman, she can agree.
5. The umbrella never dries in the open state - neither in the office, nor at a party. It must be folded and placed in a special stand or hung.
6. The bag cannot be placed on your knees or on your chair. A small elegant clutch bag can be put on the table, a bulky bag can be hung on the back of a chair or placed on the floor if there is no special high chair (these are often served in restaurants). The briefcase is placed on the floor.
7. Golden Rule when using perfume - moderation. If by the evening you smell your own perfume, know that everyone else has already suffocated.
8. If you are walking with someone and your companion says hello to a stranger, you should also say hello.
9. Cellophane bags are only allowed upon return from the supermarket, as well as branded paper bags from boutiques. Carrying them with you later as a bag is redneck.
10. A man never carries a woman's bag. And he takes a woman's coat only to carry it to the locker room.
11. Home clothes are trousers and a sweater, which are comfortable but have a decent look. Bathrobe and pajamas are designed to get to the bathroom in the morning, and from the bathroom to the bedroom in the evening.
12. From the moment the child settles in a separate room, get used to knocking when you go to him. Then he will do the same before entering your bedroom.
13. The man always enters the elevator first, but the one closest to the door exits first.
14. In a car, the seat behind the driver is considered the most prestigious, it is occupied by a woman, a man sits next to her, and when he gets out of the car, he holds the door and gives the lady a hand. If a man is driving, it is also preferable for a woman to take a seat behind him. However, wherever a woman is sitting, a man should open the door for her and help her out.
15. Talking publicly about the fact that you are on a diet is a bad form. Moreover, it is impossible under this pretext to refuse dishes offered by a hospitable hostess. Be sure to praise her culinary talents, while you can not eat anything. You should also deal with alcohol. Don't tell everyone why you can't drink. Ask for dry white wine and sip lightly.
16. Taboo topics for small talk: politics, religion, health, money.
17. Every person who has reached the age of 12 is supposed to be addressed with "you". It's disgusting to hear people say "you" to waiters or drivers. Even to those people with whom you are well acquainted, in the office it is better to turn to “you”, to “you” - only in private. The exception is if you are peers or close friends.

Business Etiquette

Below are the main characteristics of etiquette business communication. Observing them, a person will be able to inspire confidence in himself, climb up the career ladder in a relatively short period of time.

These norms cannot be discarded or pretended that they do not exist at all. Etiquette business people is associated with certain rules that cannot be ignored. Let's consider them in more detail.

1. Politeness
   The etiquette of business interaction implies that the interlocutor must be addressed with emphatic politeness. Even if you are talking with someone who is obviously unpleasant to you, you should not show your true attitude. Politeness is an integral part of business communication etiquette. It is difficult to imagine the head of a serious enterprise who would be distinguished by increased emotionality and impressionability. Etiquette teaches you to restrain your emotions, to suppress them at the right time. Otherwise, a person simply will not be able to fully manage the team and monitor the work of other people.
2. Emotion control
   Business etiquette suggests that showing your emotions in front of people is unacceptable. In the presence of business partners or colleagues, fears, doubts, and insecurities should not be shown. All this has no place in the world of business or even just in the service. Otherwise, a person will never be able to feel protected, but will become vulnerable to any jokes, gossip and gossip from the environment. It is unlikely that anyone wants to become the subject of negative discussions or acquire a reputation for being unrestrained, ill-mannered. Controlling emotions allows you to avoid unnecessary questions, maintain your own reputation and gain the respect of colleagues, subordinates and superiors for your own person.
3. Punctuality
   Every meeting must be on time. Whatever the subject of discussion concerns, whatever aspects it affects, the time of arrival at the place of negotiations must be strictly observed. It is better to arrive ten or fifteen minutes early than to be late and make everyone wait for you alone. To be late means to be disrespectful to business partners who have gathered in a particular place for discussion important issues.
4. Information privacy
   Business etiquette implies that all available information, which is of undeniable importance, should not be disclosed to third parties. Outsiders should not have anything to do with what is happening and should not know any details of ongoing business transactions. Data confidentiality helps to make the process of business cooperation as convenient and mutually beneficial as possible. If you do not pay enough attention to the issue of business etiquette, you can find yourself in a very awkward and difficult situation.
5. Speech control
   Business etiquette implies that your speech must be carefully considered. Before saying anything out loud, it is better to make sure that the chosen phrases and their meaning are correct. Speech control allows you to achieve a positive effect in negotiations and avoid awkward situations that may accidentally arise under the influence of emotions.

Etiquette in public transport

According to statistics, we spend an average of an hour a day in public transport. Someone is pushing, someone is fragrant with perfume, and someone is leaning on your leg with an umbrella-cane for half of this time. And there is nothing pleasant in such trips.

To make life easier for each other and make daily "journeys" more enjoyable, you should adhere to simple rules etiquette:

1. Wagon arrived? No need to break on the door, let people go out and then just go in. Do not push small children forward to run in and sit down. On the one hand, this is ugly, on the other hand, they can simply be demolished by people leaving, especially during rush hour.
2. If you want to help an elderly person (child, pregnant woman, visually impaired) when boarding a transport, then you must first ask if they need it.
3. When entering the transport, it is necessary to remove backpacks and bulky bags from the shoulders so as not to cause inconvenience to other citizens. Even large handbags should be removed from the shoulder and kept at knee level.
4. All seats in the metro, trolleybuses, trams are for older people, with disabilities, for expectant mothers and passengers with small children. If these people are sitting, and there are empty seats, then women are allowed to take them.
5. If a man is in public transport with a companion, then he must definitely thank the one who gave her a seat.
6. It is better to give way after visual contact. This will help to understand whether a person needs such courtesy. Silently stand up and point a person to his place is not worth it. You should say the phrase: "Sit down, please."
7. Looking into a neighbor's book or phone is ugly. Closely examine the passengers - too.
8. Many people do not tolerate strong odors, so pouring a bottle of perfume on yourself and getting on public transport after you have had dinner on a spicy garlic burrito is not worth it if possible - use chewing gum.
9. Sitting with your legs spread wide or stretching them across the entire aisle is not nice - you take away space from people.

Recently, I advised my friend not to put the phone on the table during family dinners with her highly moral mother-in-law - they say, the rules of etiquette regard such an act as disrespect for interlocutors and obsession with work.

She thanked with surprise, and a few days later she called with thanks - it turns out that the mother-in-law pursed her lips in displeasure for this very reason, it seemed to her that the daughter-in-law was so bored at family gatherings that she was ready to run away at the first call.

After talking about this topic, we realized that many people have no idea what secular etiquette is and how to follow the rules of etiquette. I wrote a little guide to good manners that all people should follow.

Universal Rules

1. Do not come to visit without a call - this is bad form. Even if your friend lives in the next entrance and you are sure that he will be glad to see you - you should not put him in an awkward position, call and arrange. The same rule applies to relatives.

   Many young couples complain that parents come to visit without a call, but at the same time they allow themselves to visit their loved ones, believing that these are different situations. In fact, the situation is one - you violate someone else's will.

2. If your interlocutor or companion greets their acquaintance, show good manners and say hello, and if the conversation drags on, invite a random interlocutor to join you.
3. There are things that should not be discussed in polite society. There are several of them:
   - questions of age and longevity (this can confuse and even compromise those present);
   - financial well-being (in some situations this is appropriate, usually at men's meetings, in the company of business partners or close friends);
   - problems at home (this applies to both the situation at a party and your own home problems - in any case, endure dirty laundry on public display is simply unacceptable);
   - religious attitudes and behavior (again, with the exception of the company of close friends who are aware of your religion);
   - diseases and issues related to various diseases- absolutely all conversations about health, started “for health” end on a doomsday note and unpleasant details;
   - adultery and someone else's personal life;
   - low and dishonest deeds;
   - own deeds that deserve praise - others should praise a person, otherwise it looks like a peacock spreading its tail.
4. Entering the room greets first, thus attracting attention. Even if your subordinates are in front of you, and you are sure that they should show respect, the rule of the “culprit” of the event is triggered here. You entered - you greet first.
5. Someone else's correspondence should be inviolable, like any other people's secrets. Remember, what is known to two, everyone around will know.
6. No need to try to fit someone else's lifestyle if you can't afford it.
7. Gratitude is appropriate absolutely everywhere and always, express your emotions, say compliments and learn to be grateful to people.

These simple basics of etiquette are nothing complicated - it's a common cultural code, following which, you will rotate in a circle of decent friends.

Of course, if you do not follow such rules, no one will challenge you to a duel, and it is unlikely that you will draw all the attention of the public to your mistake. But if you do not follow them, then over and over again a special negative attitude will form towards you, and gradually you will find yourself in a company where you have not even heard about the norms of communication with people.

Project all these rules onto yourself and you will understand their value. Do you like it when a girlfriend calls and says she intends to visit? Of course, you like it, you will have time to take away the guest slippers from the cat and bake cookies for her arrival. So, you need to do the same.

Would you like your correspondence to become public, and even more so discussed in the company? Unlikely, which means you should not participate in such conversations, much less initiate them.

Men

Goethe wrote that a person's manners are a mirror in which his portrait is reflected. Accordingly, our behavior says more about us to others than we might like. Watch your manners and you will always be on top.

In relation to women, a man should show himself to be a gentleman:

• show signs of attention;
• skip forward;
• to open doors for a lady;
• give a hand;
• ask permission before smoking.

• show negative reactions, even if the person is purely unpleasant to you and you are forced to be at the same event with him, secular etiquette requires at least a fleeting greeting;
• expressing discriminatory opinions about those present is always regarded negatively;
• stir up a scandal
• speak disparagingly;
• reveal other people's secrets;
• spread about his male victories (this can discredit the girl in the eyes of other men).

Women

Special rules of etiquette for girls suggest a lot of hints - especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Back in the Middle Ages, there was a certain system of rules and traditions, following which a girl could tell a random gentleman any information about herself - for this, a system of views and sighs, special hairstyles, special scarves and much more were used.

The current secular etiquette that ladies must adhere to is much simpler, however, there are secrets here too.

It is no secret that the requirement to be a neat and well-groomed person is the norm of politeness, but exactly the same norm of politeness is to correspond to the place and time. It is not too appropriate to attend a party that takes place in the bosom of nature, in diamonds and an evening dress.

Also, don't be too democratic. This applies to the choice of clothes, jewelry, accessories, hairstyles and makeup. The girl must be well-groomed, and her appearance should always match the situation.

Dignity and honor are the main weapon of a woman. Beauty is given to us by nature, any lady should be well-groomed, but stand with dignity- a rare quality that should be learned. First of all, learn to follow the speech.

A woman should be merciful, this is one of the qualities that is inherent in each of us, and it is good form to show mercy not only to socially unprotected people, but also to your friends. Inquire about the well-being of other people's sick relatives, be ready to help and do not forget about anyone.

Be friendly, don't be snobbish. Secular etiquette is not when service personnel are reprimanded, but the rules of conduct that are expected from oneself and others outside their occupation and origin.

Learn to look decent, the basic rules of etiquette give clear recommendations on how a woman in society should:

• stand;
• walk;
• sit down, stand up and sit.

It is sad, but true: violation of the norms of social behavior in countries that live according to Sharia can cost a woman her freedom and life.

different situations

Maintain (and encourage your companions to do so) etiquette in public places, you should not cause inconvenience to strangers. At the same time, be careful in your aspirations towards other people - society does not always perceive such acts mercifully.

Despite the rules of etiquette in Russia, show respect for foreigners and pay tribute to their cultural traditions, do not forget that other rules may apply in the house of a newcomer.

Do not be afraid to be uncivilized, if in some situation you are completely unprepared, you can always ask for advice from the person whose manners seem impeccable to you - absolutely not ashamed not to know something, ashamed not to seek to know.

Manners are a habit, a set of behaviors, a well-mannered person remains well-mannered even alone with himself. Strive for it and you will feel the result.

In any society, be it a team of professionals, a youth party, or a family, there are certain rules of conduct, they are also the rules of etiquette, or the rules of etiquette. They were formed in ancient times, and in the process of evolution they improved and changed. They do not have any formal reinforcements, but they exist so that people understand each other better and avoid unpleasant situations. IN modern society there are no clear boundaries separating the rules of behavior for different groups of people, and there are a number of general rules behavior in any society.

The word etiquette was first used by the King of France, Louis XIV, who gave his guests cards - “labels”, which set out the rules for how to behave.

Unfortunately, many people do not know all the rules of good manners, and make many mistakes in behavior. In the following, some of the little-known rules of conduct will be outlined, the existence of which it would be useful for each of us to know.

1. Don't pay a visit unannounced.

It’s not pleasant when a random guest bursts into personal space. You can take a person by surprise, which will give you little pleasure yourself. At this moment, a person can walk around the house in a dressing gown and curlers, or plan an hour-long bubble bath, and he will be absolutely right, because he did not expect you at all.

2. Home clothes should be as neat as the day off.

Many people believe that at home you can wear anything. If you are expecting guests, you should not meet them in a dressing gown or stretched "pants". And in general, a bathrobe is needed in order to visit the bathroom, and pajamas are needed for sleeping.

3. Busting with decorations is bad form.

According to international rules of wardrobe etiquette, it is considered that you cannot wear more than 13 pieces of jewelry at the same time, including jewelry decoration of clothes. In ancient times, it was believed that only married women could wear expensive jewelry for evening outings, but now it is permissible for young girls to wear jewelry, even during the day. But still, the rule remains unchanged that expensive jewelry is usually worn in the evening, and young girls should not wear too large and expensive items.

4. A woman should take off her hat indoors.

Unfortunately, many Russian women are very fond of breaking this rule. A hat is not considered a decorated part of the wardrobe, unlike a hat, and these two things should not be confused. Once upon a time, a hat was considered part of a woman's hairstyle, as it was attached to the hair with hairpins, and to this day a woman can stay indoors with a hat, but not a hat.

5. To go to your seats in the theater, cinema, you only need to face those already sitting.

It is indecent to make your way through the rows with the back of your body. The man goes first, the woman follows him. If a woman comes in wearing a hat, she can stay in it, but only if she does not interfere with those sitting behind. In this case, it is better to take off your hat.

6. A woman always carries her handbag herself.

A man can only, if necessary, hold her for a while. It is the same with women's outerwear - a man can take a woman's coat only to bring it to the wardrobe, or help a woman put it on.

7. The man enters the elevator first.

The one closest to the exit goes out first. Going down the stairs, the man goes in front, going up - behind the woman.

8. A man doesn't always pay in a restaurant.

It all depends on the wording of the invitation. If a woman invites a man to a restaurant, accompanying this with the phrase: “I invite you,” then she pays. If it accompanies with the phrase: “let's go to a restaurant,” then everyone pays for himself, unless the man himself offers to pay for both.

9. While in a restaurant, it is not customary to put a bag on a chair or on your knees.

10. Do not use cellophane and branded bags from boutiques as a bag.

It's petty and lack of style. These bags only serve you on the way from the store or boutique, and are no longer used as a bag.

11. Do not dry zones open at a party or in the office.

It is better to fold it and hang it in a suitable place, or place it in a special stand, if one is provided in the room.

12. In a car, a woman sits in the back seat of a car.

If the man is accompanying, then he takes a seat next to you, if the driver, it would still be preferable to sit behind him. But no matter what place the man occupies, upon arrival at the place he must help the woman out of the car by opening the door and offering his hand. Nowadays, not all men adhere to this rule, using the motto of women - feminists: " In business, everyone is equal". In fact, no one has canceled the rules of etiquette between men and women in business.

13. It is indecent to “poke” unfamiliar people.

It is unpleasant to hear when they “poke” the service personnel, or are familiar in the team. It doesn’t matter what the age difference is, and what position in society a person occupies in relation to you. If the interlocutor has reached the age of 12, he is supposed to be addressed as “you”. The exceptions are relatives and close friends, but even with them, in the presence of other colleagues, it is still better to follow official addresses. If an unfamiliar person stubbornly addresses you with “you”, ask again: “Excuse me, are you addressing me?”. If the interlocutor did not understand you, then it would be quite appropriate to tell him that you have not yet switched to “you”.

14. Before entering the child's personal room, you need to knock on the door.

A private room is a private space, even if it's the room of a seven year old. Thus, you will teach him to show respect for someone else's personal space.

15. It is indecent to discuss people in their absence.

It doesn't make you attractive, and it can lead to a lot of problems. It is especially ugly to speak badly about close people, discuss husbands, wives, and vilify your native country. After all, your loved ones are your personal choice, your reflection, and you directly relate to the country in which you live.

16. If you are on a diet, keep it a secret.

Unfortunately, our young ladies do not know this rule at all. This is the same as complaining that you are not perfect. Moreover, for this reason, you should not refuse treats prepared by a hospitable hostess. Taste and praise the treats without having to break your diet and eat everything that is offered to you. You can do the same with alcohol - it is not at all necessary to refuse and voice the reason. You can ask for dry white wine and sip it a little, as they say, "for the company."

17. Topics that are best avoided in small talk:

Politics and religion - in our time, everyone has the right to their own personal opinion on these topics, and their discussion can lead to conflicts and personal insults. Health is very personal, and it's not nice to flaunt your own, or God forbid, other people's ailments. Money is the first and second combined. For example, it would be indecent to ask the question: “What Nice dress! How much did you pay for it?" In this case, we can say that this is a gift. If the interlocutor insists, say directly that you do not want to discuss it.

18. List of some things that are better kept secret:

Age, wealth, religion, state of health, personal love affairs, family problems, gifts, honorable achievements, and dishonorable acts. These topics can be perceived as an addition to the taboo topics from the previous paragraph.

And also, we bring to your attention an additional list of "banal" rules of conduct for modern youth, the non-observance of which brings discomfort to others.

1. Do not make noise on the street and in the apartment after 23:00.

Often you can hear loud laughter under the windows in the middle of the night, music from the car, youth parties “to the guitar”, or quarrels and fights of quite adult and adequate people. The same applies to own house. Such actions disturb the peace of the people living in the neighborhood, and, by the way, such pranks can be punished by an administrative penalty.

2. Don't listen to music through your phone's speaker in public places.

This is your music and others may not like it. If you want to listen to your favorite music in a public place, use headphones for this.

3. Do not speak loudly in movie theaters and other similar places.

Cinemas involve public viewing, which means that everyone sitting in the hall, just like you paid for the ticket, has the same right to see and hear what comes from the screen without interference, and enjoy it.

4. Show respect for old age.

Today's youth neglect the elderly. Yes, due to age they become a little strange, but this is not a reason to feel a sense of superiority and ridicule. It was a life that made them that way, twice or three times as long as the one you yourself managed to live. In fact, they are very interesting people who have a lot to tell. It would be good manners to give older people a seat and protect them from unnecessary physical exertion, and also not to refuse them a conversation.

5. For young girls: do not go too far with the desire to look spectacular.

Bright makeup on the face of a young girl - a teenager looks very ridiculous. It also looks ridiculous clothes that are out of age or out of season, and expensive “adult” perfume. All this arsenal does not paint a young girl at all, but rather the opposite. Everything has its time and place, and this is also one of the golden rules of good manners.

6. Exclude obscene speech in public places.

Obscene speech is considered indecent, boorish, rude, and, accordingly, its use in public places is a bad form. Ideally, it is better to exclude it from your vocabulary altogether.

7. Get rid of the habit of being late for the appointed time.

For some people, it actually becomes a habit. They are late always and everywhere. This is considered indecent as it shows your lack of respect and interest in the event or the person waiting for you. You can be a very good professional in some field, but because of the habit of being late, you can never find a good job.

8. Show the rules of conduct in cafes, restaurants, and at the common table.

While visiting, or in any other public place, you need to use the rules of hygiene in the toilet rooms. If you need to wash your hands, ask the landlord which towel you can use. While at the common table, eat carefully. Do not lay out food waste on the table, use personal utensils and napkins, do not lower them into common dishes, do not drink drinks in bottles and decanters “from the throat”, do not sit at the table in outerwear. This is permissible only in a narrow circle of the family, where none of those present will cause a feeling of disgust.

9. Do not throw garbage and used chewing gum on the street.

Also, we all love outdoor recreation, walks, especially outdoor recreation with barbecue and a fire. Cleanliness must be observed even on the street, try not to leave garbage behind, and in general, treat with care environment. Birds find used chewing gums outdoors, and their airways become clogged when trying to eat them. They are dying.

10. If you are a man, show courtesy to women, even strangers.

If the girl is carrying a heavy bag, offer to help her. Give a hand when exiting the transport, skip ahead at the door.

11. At the door, it is customary to let people out first.

This applies to everyone, men, women and children. In any collision of oncoming flows, the outgoing ones pass first.

Many of these rules really seem banal, but, nevertheless, we very often forget about them. Imagine how much our society would change if each of us followed the rules of good manners. There would be much less conflict, and even unwanted life turns. Unfortunately, the whole world cannot be changed, but you can always change yourself. And in what direction these changes will be, largely depends on such a trifle as the ability to present oneself correctly.