Cheating men: recognize hidden types. Strengths of an impulsive person and working on mistakes

Impulsivity is a psychological character trait. Impulsivity as a character trait is that a woman always knows the answer to any question (even if it is wrong). As soon as problems arise along the way, the woman immediately goes into a counterattack and begins her “combat” actions. Although in his right mind he understands that this cannot be done and that more reasonable solutions must be applied, he cannot help himself.

And how easy it is to draw conclusions in a hurry, without thinking about the results of these conclusions. True, when the emotions subsided and the mind turned on. The woman understands her rash step. But it is very difficult to turn back time and correct a mistake. How to learn to treat situations correctly, not to solve everything at once and with a hot head.

An impulsive woman is in many ways like a small, unreasonable child. She is like an unintelligent child, following only her own emotions and fleeting impulses to action. In this case, most often he does not realize what he has done, neither what he says, nor what he does.

But still, there are positive traits in impulsiveness:

touchiness does not mean rancor and vindictiveness;

a bad mood lasts only a short time;

decision making occurs in a matter of minutes;

there is always a ready answer to all questions;

actually assumes all responsibility;

always active;

all problems that arise click like nuts.

These qualities are available to few. But, unfortunately, such manners of a fast car do not always lead to good things. She causes a lot of trouble not so much to others as to herself. The consequences of deeds and words do not always go unpunished, because in most cases they are offensive and contrary to the general set of rules.

In order not to disturb the peace in the environment. You need to learn to slow down when turning. Before. Before you say something or make some important decision, you need to count to 10 and back and only then open your beautiful mouth to express your next decision.

If a woman cannot stop herself, she will need the help of others. We need to come to an agreement with family and friends. So that they help control their emotions with certain conditioned signals. Which they will serve at that moment. When a woman starts to “cut from the shoulder” again. It can be different signs from the word “stop” to clapping your hands. By stopping, a woman will be able to evaluate her words and actions.

It is very difficult to curb your own impulsiveness and emotionality. It will not be possible to solve this difficult problem right away. Close women and those around you most likely know about this character trait and try to treat it with loyalty to what is said and done. But unfamiliar people may be frightened by such inappropriate behavior, and this may simply throw them into a stupor. An impulsive person should immediately communicate his character trait to others and unfamiliar people so as not to harm yourself. And learn to apologize for what you did during the heat of the moment.

And the most important thing is to remember that you can correct what you have done. Just need to find Right words. For example, you made a rash decision, the next day or after some time, you can refer to the rash decision and make another more reasonable one and weigh the pros and cons.

Constant work on yourself will lead to positive results.

Hello! I have this situation - my man is very impulsive, during a quarrel he says that that’s it, nothing will work out for us, and he doesn’t need anything else. Moreover, the reasons can be different, by and large, far-fetched. I have to put up with him myself and restore our relationship (we don’t live together), because he himself will never call or write first. After reconciliation, he is usually grateful to me and asks for forgiveness for his behavior. but it’s starting to seem to me that maybe he doesn’t really need me that much if he can calmly turn around and leave. Apparently, he is sure that I will run after him in any case, and he will never lose me. I don’t need relationships that rely only on me, I want to see that I am valued and valued. Because of him, I separated from my husband, and during the last quarrel he told me that I have no moral principles, because I abandoned my family, that is, I cannot be trusted. I answered him - how can he blame me for this - after all, I did it because of him, so that we could be together. although his words offended me very much, the next day I tried to talk to him, to which he said that he no longer wanted to communicate with me. what is the reason for his such behavior? and is it worth trying to restore the relationship?

Elena, Moscow, 28 years old

Art psychologist's answer:

Hello, Elena!

In any relationship, the balance “GIVING – RECEIVING” must be maintained (read my answers, I write about this very often). And if in a couple one person begins to take full responsibility for the relationship (“a relationship that rests only on me”), then they are doomed. The one on whom everything rests sooner or later gets tired of holding it, and the one who is forced to be in such a situation begins to get irritated and leave the relationship, since he is constantly made to feel guilty for something and is forced to do something ( “I want to see that I am valued and valued. I separated from my husband because of him”). You expect gratitude and understanding from him, but a person always acts, does something for himself and because of himself. You expected something from the relationship, you counted on something, you came up with something for yourself, you divorced your husband, but that was your will. It was your desire, and to demand that someone appreciate your “feat” and feel obliged to meet your expectations would not be entirely true. You did this not because of him, but because of yourself, don’t forget that! You wanted it so much! The reason for this behavior of the young man is largely this. Perhaps he was tired of being owed and guilty. He has a defensive reaction: “I (you) have no moral principles, because I (you) abandoned my family, that is, I (you) cannot be trusted.” Perhaps he wants to relieve himself of responsibility for what is happening. Relationships are only possible when the give-receive balance is restored and both partners are responsible for the relationship. Otherwise, situations similar to yours may arise. Draw conclusions and change tactics. I think that now it makes sense to pause, think about everything that is happening and finally allow your man’s initiative to manifest itself.

Sincerely, Fuzeynikova Irina, art psychologist

Greetings, my dear readers! Have you ever met people who change their minds very quickly, easily move from joy to anger, and their smile instantly gives way to a grin? What does an impulsive person mean, what are his strengths and weak sides and what is the best way to establish contact with such a person? Today I will answer all these questions and tell you what to do if you suffer from your impulsiveness.

pros

Most often, if they tell you “he is an impulsive person,” then you will initially treat him with a slight shade of negativity. Why is this happening?

Because impulsivity is more associated with a negative assessment: unreliability, ambiguity, short temper, irritability, and so on. But we'll talk about the disadvantages later. Let's try to understand the strengths impulsive person.

An impulsive nature allows a person to make decisions quickly. After all, most often such people quickly react to external circumstances. Thus, we get a person who will perfectly adapt to a rapidly changing environment.

Quick decision making, in turn, develops intuition, which greatly helps in life. Agree, a person with more developed intuition is more likely to achieve success. What skill can be compared to intuition? Probably none.

You will immediately know what emotion an impulsive person is experiencing. Have you ever met people who have nothing written on their face and it is completely impossible to understand what they are feeling right now? This cannot happen to an impulsive person.

If he is angry, then you will understand it perfectly. And the better you understand other people’s emotions, the easier it is for you to communicate with a person. Therefore, when such a person is angry, you can simply not approach him at that moment. And wait until he comes to a calm and balanced state.

An impulsive person is a bad liar. To lie well, you need to have composure and calmness. An emotional person will definitely miss and will not complete the lie. Therefore, most often such people do not even resort to lies. Suspicious manipulations will be clearly visible in their behavior.

Minuses

However, for all their strengths, impulsive people also have a number of problems. When committing impulsive actions, a person may make a mistake because he thought poorly and did not consider all the possible consequences. Making a quick decision definitely helps, but not in all situations.

Such people are dangerous because of their lightning-fast mood swings, and it is not always clear who is the cause of anger or sadness. A person subconsciously strives for order and constancy. Therefore, communicating with such emotional people can be annoying and infuriating.

Emotional people really often let you down. You agreed on a meeting, prepared everything for it, spent time, effort, and maybe money. But the man did not come, simply because he changed his mind. Unreliability is perhaps the strongest disadvantage of an impulsive person.

It is very difficult to be with such a person. romantic relationships. Today he is madly in love, and tomorrow he is angry over a trifle, a couple of hours later he is offended, and a second later he kisses you deeply.

How to deal with an impulsive person

Understanding an impulsive person is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. There are things that piss him off, and there are those that bring him joy and happiness. And since he does not hide his emotions, an observant person will quickly understand what exactly should not be done or said.

In communication with emotional person there are some advantages too. For example, such people more often agree to adventurous proposals, they are more willing to commit trip around the world or they will go with you to the mountains. But they can easily abandon the idea at the last moment.

You should not place high hopes on the promises of such people. Their mood will change, they may change their mind. Therefore, it is worth listening, but not trusting completely. After all, with them everything depends on the mood and emotional state.

But an impulsive person rarely acts as an aggressor, unlike, for example, a mentally unstable person. If you come across the second option and you absolutely do not understand how to interact with it, then the article “” will be useful to you. It is necessary to communicate with such a person with special caution.

Impulsivity is neither bad nor good. It has both positive and negative aspects.

If you are an impulsive person, then you have the opportunity to use your strengths, but do not forget to work on your weaknesses.

Do you make decisions quickly? What can set you off and how quickly will it happen? Do you forgive offenses easily? Do you consider yourself an emotional person?

Best wishes to you!

Let's look at the relationship with the Impulsive type of man. Oscar Wilde once said: “I can resist anything but temptation.” Some men who have relationships with many women are like this - they always give in in the face of temptation.

Relationships with the Impulsive type of man

At their core, impulsive men are immature. However, with all this immaturity, some are more mature than others. “Semi-adults” can hold down good jobs and are able to take responsibility for their careers. However, in other areas of life they are like toddlers. When they want something - be it a trinket or a woman - they must get it. If a woman has captured their attention, they want her and as a result they take her. It doesn't matter to them if she is already in a relationship with someone else or if she is married. They don't even think about it. Determined at this moment, they simply move forward towards their goal. Life for impulsive men is a chain of opportunities and temptations. They live in a world of whims and momentary impressions. Since their attention is easily drawn to anything new, they are rarely faithful, and their betrayals are quite predictable.

Relationships with the type of men Impulsive. Marcello Mastroianni, who has been in the same marriage since 1950, was in close relationships with many beautiful actresses and lived openly with Faye Dunaway and Catherine Deneuve. A well-known lover of both former and current actresses, he admits, speaking of his many connections: “What could I do? I'm immature. I was born this way... I am unable to control myself... On Sunday morning on the coast of Ostia I see these lovely girls in swimsuits and I go crazy.”

The most infantile of impulsive men, because they are accustomed to acting quickly without thinking about the consequences, may encounter difficulties or problems that would make another person stop and think. As a result, they sometimes find themselves in ambiguous, delicate and awkward situations. For example, one woman told me that she met a man at work and they started friendly relations. As she explained, she spoke to him “because he looked sad. I asked him why he was unhappy. He replied that he had just broken up with his mistress.”

He began to come to this woman’s home, as if to discuss his problems, and soon they became lovers. He told her that he was married and separated from his wife, but gave her the woman's phone number in case she needed anything for the child. Soon she discovered calls from his wife on her answering machine, who insulted her in the harshest terms. My interlocutor discovered that not only was he still dating his ex-lover, he was not even actually divorced from his wife. Unlike men, for whom such behavior would be crazy, he gave his wife a phone number without thinking about it. possible consequences. In this case, the woman called his wife and they became allies against him.

Sometimes impulsiveness can result in violence, as in the following story of a woman and her lover.

They were hailing a car from the street to take her home when his gaze suddenly fell on attractive woman oriental type, sitting in a car parked on the opposite side of the street. Without thinking about anything and looking at this woman, he said: “Chinese. I've never had a Chinese girlfriend." At that moment a taxi stopped in front of them. The angry companion said: “Well, go to her.” She got into the car and slammed the door. As the taxi started moving, she saw him running towards the woman in the car.

Immature impulsive men can be just as impulsive and irresponsible in other areas of life as they are with women. They may suddenly leave a job, feeling disillusioned with it one day, forgetting all the positive things about the job or the consequences of doing so for their family or lifestyle. Troubles of one kind or another may constantly happen to them because they are not able to control themselves. They cannot score points or make long-term plans and may move from one job to another instead of moving up the ladder. career ladder. And because they cannot plan and be organized, they often lead a wandering life.

Men who have poor impulse control often use drugs and alcohol and limit themselves in this as little as in other areas of their lives.

They have no moral values, so they feel entitled to do whatever they want without feeling guilty. Moral values ​​require abstract thinking and away from the immediate. An impulsive man is not capable of this.

Managers

Most impulsive men are like careless children, jumping from one event to another. But there is one type who can truly be called a “manager.” They know how to quickly take advantage of opportunities, calculate the specifics of a situation, and determine what immediate practical benefits it can provide. They instantly focus on what will work. In relation to a woman, this means that such a man can be absolutely sincere. He will lie to his wife and tell another woman: “I love you”, “You are beautiful”, “I think we have a future”, “I’m ready to leave my wife” - whatever he thinks is necessary to put her to bed. He is not interested in the woman herself, but only in what he can do with her.

Actors

The last type of impulsive men has a hysterical character. Life for them is an ongoing drama. They have lively and expressive emotions that reach a high intensity, and they are carried away from the reality of their own own feelings. They get carried away easily. Men of this type fall passionately in love every two minutes and cannot remain faithful to any woman for long. They live with sublime love and lack patience, which gives them the opportunity to calm down - the norm of any relationship. When this happens, they cease to exist as a person. If a hysterical man is married, he is not able to love his wife. He has known her too long for her to be the object of his passion, fueled by novelty, excitement and drama, even though he may find himself dependent on a less emotional wife to provide a haven for his other storms.