How to become the happiest person. How to be happy every day. Get rid of excess clutter

For every person, happiness is a relative concept. Some experience the joy of meeting friends, others have a boundless love of travel. One way or another, it is important to assert your own needs in order to feel completely happy. It is necessary to value your “I” and at the same time not delve into the abyss of narcissism and selfishness. There are effective psychological techniques that will help you become happier. The main thing is to believe and set big goals for yourself, it’s easier to hit them.

Step #1. Find ways to deal with stress

It is difficult to imagine a person who does not periodically experience a moral shock. To become happier, you need to look for ways to remove yourself from negative situations. Don't bury your head in the sand, look at the root of the problem. There are often cases when people want to get rid of difficulties, turning a blind eye to their existence. At a subconscious level, a person knows that he has to solve the troubles that have arisen, thus the brain is never at rest.

Make it a habit to communicate with friends or relatives, discussing pressing matters. Learn to speak out, and if necessary, cry, letting off steam. You can also contact a psychologist to draw up rough plan. The main thing is not to be alone with yourself in a state of stress to avoid negative judgments.

People who, due to the nature of their work, are forced to constantly deal with stressful situations, are advised to find methods of distraction. Read your favorite book at lunch, watch a TV series, lie down to relax while listening to music. Take walks in the park, drink delicious tea, find your own way of distraction.

Step #2. Enjoy being with friends

Even if you are very busy with work/study, try to allocate 3-4 hours a week for full communication. Such a move will brighten up loneliness, dilute everyday life, and you will temporarily forget about pressing matters. Share with your loved ones not only the bad events in life, share with them the joy of being, and have fun together.

Create a tradition of your own. For example, every Sunday have a get-together with pizza while watching your favorite TV series. Or visit your favorite cafe on Wednesdays, where they serve tasty pie. Communicate in an informal setting, develop your own traditions, which will later be inherited.

Step #3. Appreciate what you have

It is important to learn to be grateful for wonderful moments and everything you have. this moment. Write down on a scrapbook paper significant events or the names of people you are grateful for in your life. Write until the entire album sheet is filled. Spare no effort and time to read the above out loud later.

Gratitude can be expressed for absolutely ordinary things, such as weekly meetings with friends (thanks for having them), the release of your favorite TV series (thanks to the creators). Also, do not forget to express in words about good health, a good education, loved one, parents.

Cultivate a sense of gratitude towards other people every day. Don’t be lazy to tell the saleswoman “Thank you!” for a loaf of bread, and for the bus driver for a comfortable ride. After a certain period of time, you will notice that you feel much happier.

At every opportunity, let your loved ones know that you are grateful for their previously provided help or small favor. It is important to convey that you appreciate and do not forget the good.

Step #4. Solve pressing problems

You can't be completely happy while life's difficulties hang over your head. Look for solutions, analyze the situation, do not try to solve all problems in one fell swoop.

Is marriage no longer enjoyable? There is no mutual respect, agreement, love between partners? End the relationship, don't expect it to improve on its own. Learn to live in harmony with your heart and mind.

Work doesn't pay stable income, the boss is constantly on edge? Motivate yourself, look for a new job, try to start earning extra money using Internet resources. Develop financially, set big goals, follow the path to achieve them.

If you don't feel happy because excess weight, go on a diet. Go to proper nutrition, play sports, buy clothes a few sizes smaller. Make a training plan, don't stand still.

Step #5. Look for yourself

A person cannot feel happy if he tries to be something he is not. Think about what is important to you? Perhaps the accounting profession is not enjoyable and drains all your energy. Do you like to work with your hands rather than your brains? Get a different major or take relevant courses.

Tired of constantly smiling at your opponents and agreeing with them on everything? Defend your own opinion, look for serious arguments, try to be a leader. Don't try to become what your family or friends want you to be. You are a person with your own opinions, life principles, and values.

Stop wearing masks, be as open as possible. Do people around you not like your excessive directness? Tell them about it directly, make them even more irritated. A friend asked for help and you refused? Make it clear that at the moment you have your own matters that require immediate attention.

Look for opportunities to be yourself in any situation, put your own needs first until you feel confident and happy. The same applies to your personal life; there is no need to build a relationship with a person who is not suitable for you in all respects.

Step #6. Think positively

There are often cases when a person gives up out of hopelessness. It would seem that no bright spots are expected, but everything is not so bad. Learn to maintain positive thinking in difficult situations and approach problems with humor. Did your car break down on the way to work? Well, it's time to change it to a new SUV.

Focus only on the pleasant moments in life. Gradually, you will accumulate your own baggage of positive impressions, as a result of which you will not be able to exist differently. On a subconscious level, you will learn to extract pleasant things from everything that happens.

We caught ourselves thinking that, in Once again, do you think negatively? Say a few comments out loud that will knock the crap out of your head. Try to smile, scientists have proven that even fake laughter can make a person happy.

Step #7. Set goals

A man suffocates without purpose. Gray ordinariness can swallow up even the most cheerful people. Throughout the journey, it is important to find something that will make you move forward. Set goals, look for opportunities and ways to implement them as soon as possible.

Have you been dreaming of a new car for a long time? Make it a habit to set aside a specific amount of money from your monthly salary for these needs. Place the funds in a savings book at interest, do not withdraw them.

Do you dream of spending your whole life traveling? Get a passport, start learning English or Spanish, read travel forums, take notes.

Are you unhappy with your physical fitness? Set a goal to pump up your abs or buttocks in six months, join a gym, switch to sports nutrition, follow a training regimen, and sleep soundly. Make a bet with your friends that you will achieve results after a given period.

Make a bucket list for the next 1-3 years, cross off one item at a time as you achieve it. Start with easy goals and gradually raise the bar. You will feel happy man after achieving each goal.

Step #8. Satisfy your own needs

It is not necessary to deny everything to family and friends; it is enough to put your own needs first. Learn to advocate for your interests Everyday life. For example, you were going to the cinema, and a friend chose a film that you don’t like. Let your friend know that this time you want to go not to a thriller, but to a comedy. By making small decisions to improve your quality of life, you will soon feel happy by getting the little things you want.

Step #9. Find a hobby

It is difficult to feel happy when you are in a constant state of “work-home-work”. To relieve the hustle and bustle of everyday life, find a hobby to which you will devote yourself wholeheartedly. Do you like to create miracles with your own hands? Sign up for courses in cutting and sewing, wood carving, modeling, etc.

Do you have a weakness for beautiful pictures? Go to photography school, master editing programs, communicate with like-minded people. Do you like to play sports, but have given up on it for a long time? Take a trial class at the gym, sign up for a swimming pool, or take a dance or gymnastics class.

In cases where it is not possible to find a hobby of this kind, read books. Instead of sitting at your PC in the evenings, start studying history, psychology of personality development, law, business. You can read a detective story, a classic, a thriller, the choice depends on personal preferences.

It is not difficult to become a happy person if you start transforming today. Solve problems as soon as possible, look for ways to deal with negative situations, develop financially and enrich yourself spiritually. Do what you love, change your job if it doesn't bring you pleasure. Look for yourself, satisfy your own needs, achieve your goals.

Video: how to become a happy person

By the word “happiness” each person means something different, but one thing is for sure: happiness is the ability to enjoy life and inner harmony. It is internal, because happiness is located within our consciousness, and not in external factors.

Unfortunately, most people cannot call themselves happy, and at best they single out a certain period of their life as the smoothest and most joyful. Undoubtedly, everyone has troubles. Yet the reason for a joyless life usually lies in the inability to be happy, and now we will pay attention key points this condition. Do you want to know how to become a happy woman? Then read on!

If there is no happiness

There will always be reasons to be dissatisfied, the main thing is to be able to look for them! Here are the main complaints women have about life:

• Dissatisfaction with one's own appearance. Women have a hobby of doubting their own attractiveness. Some people are too keen on makeup, others are desperate to lose weight. The most interesting thing is that they are trying for men who do not care about their appearance at all. It is worth recognizing one fact: if a person is interested in you, then he will be nearby, and if not, he is unlikely to notice that you are wearing foundation good quality or the waist has already become 2 cm. Look around, and you will definitely find in your surroundings a gray mouse in a wrinkled sundress from the collection before last year, which is loved, adored and carried in the arms. At the same time, her beautiful friends are trying to figure out how to become happy with the help of external brightness;
• Unsuccessful marriage. A common situation, isn't it? The husband completely satisfied his wife before the wedding, and then suddenly stopped. Didn't live up to expectations. In fact, to become a happy woman, you need not to look for a meeting with a handsome prince, but to be able to accept the one who is nearby. Yes, it may not be ideal, but it has not only disadvantages, but also advantages! As soon as you step aside, a dozen people will line up to take your place - the fact that there are fewer men than women is no longer news;
• Loneliness. Not the most pleasant word, but for some reason this condition is called that way. No, to say “freedom”... But people like to exaggerate. First you need to understand that the absence of a relationship is a temporary phenomenon. One day you will have a life partner, but is this a guarantee of happiness? To be free means to enjoy independence and occasionally feel sad because there is no one to hug yet. To be lonely means to suffer from freedom. But the most terrible type of loneliness is a lack of mutual understanding with a partner. The person is next to you, he is with you, and is not going to leave anywhere, you sleep with him on the same couch, but at the same time you are mentally in different galaxies. Loneliness is like happiness, it is located only within our consciousness;
• Lack of finances. It’s unpleasant, but not fatal, and most importantly, it’s fixable. Another thing is that for the sake of good income you will have to either sacrifice your free time and work, or depend on someone, and accordingly, dance to his tune. Or you can simply learn to live more modestly - the choice is yours.

And now - the most important thing. Let's move on to real ways to become happy!

Appreciate what you have

The phrase “I have nothing good in my life” is pure selfishness. In fact, there is, but not everyone knows how to appreciate it. The saddest thing is that these people realize the true value of everything they had only when they lose it. Find from this list joys that have become something familiar to you and therefore unnoticed:

• You look attractive and have good manners;
• You know how to feel other people;
• You have health. There may be something wrong with your body, but by and large you are healthy;
• Do you have a family;
• There is at least one person you trust who believes in you;
• You have a pet that is happy to see you home from work. By the way, if you don’t have one, you can get one - you’ll see, life will become much more fun;
• You have a roof over your head and sleep in a warm bed. It doesn't sound like much, but many people don't even have that;
• You know how to please men;
• Do you have a hobby that gives you joy?
• You have relatives who will never give up on you.

Apperciate things which you have. Life is an unpredictable thing, and no one knows what will happen tomorrow. If it doesn’t help, imagine for a second that you suddenly lost all this. Everything is elementary: you are on a desert island, you have nothing to eat, and not a soul around. But there are people who survive in such situations!

Let go of the past

In a certain way, everything that happened to you before is reflected in the present, and sometimes in the future. And yet, in most cases, this chain of logic has no basis in reality. For a woman, evil from the past is either a childhood that would not suit her, or an unsuccessful experience in a relationship with a man. Let's look at each option separately.

Relationships with parents

As you know, you don’t choose your homeland, and neither do your parents. IN last years You can often hear about such a concept as “unloved children.” Each of those who are dissatisfied with their childhood has their own reasons for this, but what, one wonders, does all this have to do with the present time? Did you get little attention? Most likely, they gave exactly as much as they could. Even if this is not so, then be offended by the mother who has maternal instinct I never woke up - it was an empty matter. She doesn't care, but you suffer.

Are you suffering because your parents did not give you a financial start? But the fact is that most people, not of average income, but of really very rich people, achieved their success without outside help. The majority of those who were actively helped by their parents simply do not have survival skills, so they can even benefit from this, even if not materially. Experience and the ability to take care of yourself are the only things that will save you during serious difficulties.

Unhappy love or failed marriage

Not worth a bad experience previous relationships with a man to carry from the past to the future. It didn’t work out for you, and this means that he is no longer in your life. The next guy or man will be different, and he will also have flaws, because we do not live among angels. Perhaps you will not be satisfied with his lifestyle, or you will be unhappy with the way he treats you, but in any case, what happened in the past will no longer happen. You won't allow it to happen because you already have experience.

If you have lost faith in goodness due to the betrayal of a loved one, or an extremely cruel act on his part towards you, take a time out. Building a new relationship under the influence of emotions or resentment towards a guy is not the best solution. As for mental pain, it needs a way out, not conditions for safe storage. Do not turn depression into a way of life, and in the end, take the situation from a philosophical point of view - after all, everything that does not kill us makes us stronger!

Live in the moment

Too many people put off pleasure until later. They set goals for themselves and believe that they can only be happy when they achieve them. I'll briefly outline what it looks like.

I will be happy after:

• I will get a higher education. A diploma is not a guarantee of happiness. Then there will definitely be a search for work, independent life and the endless difficulties that everyone faces;
• Will get married. Family life- this is not happiness on a silver platter, but the daily work of building relationships with your spouse;
• I'm having a baby. Children are a blessing, but be prepared for new worries! The child will periodically get sick, and it is not a fact that you will look at the world the same way. He is a separate person and does not have to be your friend;
• I will achieve good income. How more money, those more problems, although it seems that it is finance that solves all difficulties. Owning your own business is a responsibility. A rich husband is also not the greatest gift of fate. Everyone has read the fairy tale “Cinderella,” but that’s why it’s a fairy tale, to end with a wedding. In reality, marriage becomes a starting point, and it is likely that you will be regularly reminded that you lived more than modestly before marriage;
• I will bring my appearance to perfection. Even if you go to the gym, or keep a diet all the time, it is not a fact that this will bring you female happiness. You can still get carried away plastic surgery or endless visits to a cosmetologist, but this does not guarantee you anything. A woman who evaluates herself only in terms of appearance is interesting to men only as a sexual partner. Of course, this applies to those girls who have nothing else to boast about other than beauty.

In fact, the secret of happiness lies in the ability to enjoy the here and now. You can enjoy the fresh air while walking. You can please yourself delicious food, beautiful clothes, communication with loved ones. Why wait for something that may not come? First of all, it is not the future that is in our hands, but the present. Becoming a happy woman is not only real, but also easy!

The well-known Kozma Prutkov answered the question of how to be happy for women, men, and children - in general, for all representatives of humanity - a long time ago. That is, he did not specify at all to whom his remark applied, as if hinting that, regardless of gender, age, social status and religion, feeling happiness is a matter of ability, not circumstances. But such versatility is even to our advantage, because if, according to rumors, even a hare can be taught to smoke, then we can even try to teach a homo sapiens to be happy in any situation. Therefore, without going into the subtleties of the psychology of happiness of hares, today we will try to be happy. In spite of everything and in spite of everything, constantly and regularly, expressively and contagiously. So that those around you will not only want to smile back, but also follow you to the ends of the earth in the hope of warming up and, perhaps, getting a piece of your dazzling happiness for themselves. Share or not - you decide for yourself. Although we are for sharing good things. And even more so with happiness, which multiplies by division and from this only becomes greater and purer. Ready? Then let's begin.

Like any complex structure, happiness depends on what it is filled with. And this filler is stored nowhere except in your head and soul. These two containers of happiness must be at least 2/3 filled with the correct components that ensure happiness. Then the remaining third, even if it contains components that are not very conducive to the feeling of happiness, will not be able to prevent you from being happy. Therefore, the first thing you have to do to become a truly (that is, internally, and not just externally) happy woman is to conduct a deep internal audit to detect, analyze and sort everything that makes up your inner world and, as a result, shapes the view of the outside world. Believe me, you will discover many unexpected things. Unexpectedly interesting, unexpectedly pleasant and unexpectedly disappointing. Miscellaneous. It's not scary - the main thing is that you find those in yourself prerequisites happiness:

1. Love (or at least sympathy) for yourself. Because you yourself are the main and only person who was, is and will always be with you, from your first breath to your last. And, if this main person in life does not love you, then what kind of happiness can we talk about? Self-love begins with recognizing, then understanding and accepting yourself. Forgive yourself for those shortcomings that are not critical and form part of your unique personality. Work (precisely as a process carried out with pleasure) and the elimination of those shortcomings that prevent you from enjoying life. And all this is not egocentrism, but healthy egoism, necessary for every person at least for self-preservation among other people. And the more people there are around, the stronger your “armor” of self-love should be.
   It, like a chainmail of links, consists of taking care of your health (proper nutrition, daily routine, physical activity, giving up bad habits, adequate rest, attention to alarming symptoms), about your appearance (facial and body care, high-quality cosmetics, beautiful clothes, manicure, haircut) and about your mental comfort (interesting and educational books, favorite music, quality movies, communication with good people, caring for relatives, small and large pleasant gifts to yourself). All this brings joy close to happiness both in essence and in form. And not momentary, but long-lasting, leaving in the soul a feeling of deep satisfaction with what is happening here and now, with life in general, with oneself. If you discovered all of this, or at least most of it, in yourself and your life during the audit, check the box next to this item. You have fulfilled the first condition of happiness. Just don’t confuse self-love with narcissism, which not only does not contribute to, but also negates the feeling of happiness. We’ll discuss how and why a little later, in the section on “anti-happiness.”
   
2. Independence from others. Independence is not so much material (although it largely determines the feeling of freedom and related happiness), but internal: from other people’s opinions, desires and pressure. Here it is very important to distinguish between actual independence, which tends more to matters of circumstances, and therefore, as we agreed, cannot ensure happiness as such, and psychological independence, which determines the internal mood. Because, no matter how objectively wonderful you are, it is impossible to subjectively please everyone, and sooner or later there will be a person around who will not like you. If it bothers you negative opinion– stress is guaranteed for you. Stress – main enemy happiness. And the most effective weapon against him is his own head on his shoulders. Listening to other people is useful, but your own opinion should always be a priority for you. Not to mention that it should exist at all.
   No one can force an internally independent person to do what he does not want and which will make him unhappy, and to accept people into his life who are unpleasant to him and therefore not needed. Only a strong and independent person can be independent and happy. Because to be a happy woman or not to be is also your own choice and decision that you need to make and have the courage to follow it. As long as someone else's opinion can push you off this road, you risk spending too much time on the path to happiness. It’s not that it doesn’t exist – haste is not at all on the list of habits of happy people. But it’s simply a pity to waste precious years, months, even a few days, knowing that they could be much better and more pleasant for you, and during all this time you can be a happy woman. So look for independence in yourself and the inner core on which it rests. If you find it, fulfill one more condition for happiness, having already filled more than half of its volume together with the previous point!
   
3. Conscious desires. Life by touch, without understanding own desires, goals and at least approximate ways to implement them is reminiscent of the process of making a pie in the dark or blindfolded in someone else’s kitchen. Imagine that not a single jar of ingredients is labeled, and you also cannot see their contents. You randomly put in and mix everything that happens to come to hand or that someone serves to your taste. What kind of dish do you think will come out as a result of this cooking? The only thing that can be said about it for sure is that it will not meet your expectations and needs. The analogy can be continued with a hypermarket where you won’t find milk in the bread section. But all analogies are aimed at explaining: you will not find happiness in your life until you understand what happiness means for you personally.
   

How to become a happy woman?
Internal readiness to become/be happy is the main and almost the only condition for this. Moreover, the world knows many examples and evidence that external circumstances really do not play a role in this. main role- if they play at all. Remember the happy eyes of a rural child who was given a newborn kitten to hold in his arms, and the disgusted dissatisfaction of a teenager from a wealthy family who received a smartphone as a gift, not the best one? fashionable color. Or situations in which people of the same age, but living in different historical eras, could feel happy. Even a quick comparison is enough to understand that the conditions for happiness are, pardon the pun, extremely conditional parameters. This means that we can use almost any of them for our own purposes. That is, with one main goal - to be a happy woman.

Of course, life can be different, and sometimes very difficult. It happens that it is simply impossible to save positive attitude when the whole world has turned against you. But the subtlety of this period is that the higher your personal ability to be happy, the faster you will recover from shocks and return a feeling of happiness to your picture of the world. Even athletes get injured and lose the opportunity to train, sometimes for a long time. But upon returning to the gym, it is easier for an athlete to return to their previous parameters than for a person weak in body and soul. So let's just not focus on the bad and focus on extreme manifestations of misfortune. Instead, let's remember those things, attitudes and life guidelines that help us withstand even the most severe storm and, despite everything, be a happy woman:

1. Keep it simple.“Thanks to” public propaganda, we have been accustomed since childhood to believe that everything good must be earned, and, even worse, that “one must fight for happiness.” It is these attitudes that prevent us from being happy as adults. In fact, happiness is simple, it’s even easier than ever. Nature created man happy, this is his normal condition, but the absence of happiness was precisely intended as a sign of some kind of violation. Therefore, relax and for starters, just allow yourself to be happy without any special reason, achievements or merits. Simply because you live in the world, that this morning you opened your eyes and saw the sun and the sky. And if at the same time you also saw the eyes of your loved one, and in addition a smile in these eyes, then you are definitely happier than a huge number of people on the planet. This happiness is simple. It comes as a basic set to each of us from the Creator.
   Keeping it simple also means not making too high demands on your idea of ​​happiness. For some reason, many are sure that it is impossible to be happy without... and then follows a long list of all kinds of conditions and requests. Wanting more is good. To be unhappy until this is not the case is bad. Just imagine how much happier you will be when you get what you want. It’s “happier than now,” not “finally happy.” Feel the difference and with this feeling move on to reading the next paragraph.
   
2. Live in the present. No matter how much you want, happiness cannot be planned or postponed until tomorrow/next week/other convenient time. It either exists or it doesn’t. Happiness is what is here and now, felt and experienced by you constantly, as the background of life, and still every time anew. Therefore, if you think that happiness, which for one reason or another does not exist now, will come over time, you are mistaken. Whatever you are guided by in the depths of your soul, whatever is your authority and guideline, this rule is the same for everyone. Psychologists, esotericists, Buddhists, psychics and even your mother unanimously admit to you that you need to catch happiness by the tail right away, there may simply not be another time. This doesn’t mean that you need to fuss - it means that you don’t need to put it off and write a “draft” of your life, for fear of making a blot on the clean copy.
   Stop endlessly rummaging through childhood traumas and looking for the reasons for your unhappiness in them. Don’t even think about looking into the future and looking for hints of possible failures. And even the future, for that matter, is built on the basis of the present and the foundation of the past. Therefore, if there is no happiness today, then where will it come from tomorrow? We say this not to shake your faith in a bright future, but so that this future comes as soon as possible. More precisely, so that you create it for yourself as soon as possible with your own hands. And we sincerely believe that you are not only capable, but also ready not to wait, but to act in order to be a happy woman.
   
3. Act. A simple pattern, like links in one chain, develops like this: pleasure - satisfaction - the habit of rejoicing - happiness. Progress gradually. What gives you pleasure? Walking on fresh air, dancing, drawing, music, reading, shopping... Do more often what brings you joy. Create a positive background for everything that happens in your life, constantly increasing the ratio of these events in favor of positive ones. Get up and go to happiness. Too lazy to walk - crawl. There is no strength to crawl - lie down, but only in such a way that it truly makes you happy. Sooner or later, you will still get tired of lying and want to do something more interesting.
   From experience, the more interesting and eventful life is, the happier it is. According to statistics, there are many more unhappy women among committed housewives than among those engaged in work, hobbies, or any type of activity. Is the hint clear? Again, the busier you are, the less time you have to listen to yourself in search of old and new reasons for sadness. But while you are preparing a quarterly report, cross-stitching, running around the city looking for that same skirt or jumping like a goat in the gym, you are not preventing your subconscious from slowly but surely steering onto the true path leading to that very natural feeling of happiness programmed by nature . So just get down to business. Anyone, or better yet, pleasant. Not necessarily alone and not necessarily only for your own benefit, however, it’s whatever you like best!
   
4. To love and to be loved. Exactly in this order: first give warm feelings, and then receive them in return. Not because you have to run around and fight for the object of your love. But because waiting for love without doing anything is the same as waiting for happiness with folded hands, and we have just discussed the futility of this activity. Therefore, educate, grow, cultivate love in yourself. First to yourself, then to the closest people, then to less close, but most sympathetic. And finally, just love for the whole world and life in general. And women's happiness, if we narrow this concept to a gender framework, it also includes a beloved husband, who at the same time remains a luxurious lover and a devoted friend. In a mischievous, smart and like two peas child who comes running to kiss you in the morning and demand cheesecakes with jam for breakfast. In a warm and hospitable home, where your hands have created comfort and prepared the most delicious and healthy food. In the admiring glances of the surrounding men, in the tenderness of her husband, inexhaustible over the years, in contentment with her own reflection in the mirror. Well, how can you not love all this? Well, how can you not be a happy woman, loving all this?!
   

If you want to be happy, you need to be able to understand what exactly you want and consistently assert your needs. In addition, to achieve happiness, it is absolutely necessary to have a positive mindset, take certain actions to live happy life, and take care of yourself, even if you are very busy. The most important thing is to know that you can achieve happiness if you really want it and put in the effort to achieve it.

Steps

Part 1

1. Be who you want to be. If you truly want to be happy, the best thing you can do for yourself is to be who you want to be. This means don't try to be the person your partner, parents, colleagues, or friends want you to be. Try to be exactly the person you feel like deep down. If you feel like you are always pretending and embellishing yourself, you are unlikely to be truly happy and enjoy life.

   • Sometimes you don't even realize that you're not living your life until you stop and think about this question. The next time you interact with others, remember to ask yourself whether you are behaving exactly as the person you truly want to be would behave.
   • Of course, there are situations in which we must behave in a certain way in order to conform to generally accepted rules of behavior. For example, if you have to jump on your desk to be yourself, it's probably not something you should do at school or in the workplace. However, take every opportunity to be yourself.

2. Think positively. Of course, there are situations when you feel like there is no way to maintain a positive mindset. However, even in such situations, you should try your best to maintain a positive attitude regardless of external circumstances. If you want to always be positive, the main thing you need to do is learn to think primarily about what you are grateful for in this life and what brings you joy. Learn not to dwell on unpleasant things. If you try to talk and think only about good things, then you will certainly be able to remain optimistic in any situation.

   • If you find yourself thinking negatively about something, try to compensate by coming up with two or three positive comments.
   • Even if you just try to smile, it will make not only those around you happier, but you too.
   • Sometimes you just need to complain to feel better. However, if this becomes a habit, you will gradually turn into an inveterate pessimist.

3. Live in the moment. If you want to be happy there is one the right way- live in the present instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Of course, sometimes it’s not easy to forget about the mistakes of the past or stop worrying about the future. However, the more you learn to live in the present and enjoy the good things in your life now, the sooner you will feel truly happy. You can set a special time during the day during which you allow yourself to daydream about the future or feel nostalgic about the past. Then push these thoughts aside so that they do not interfere with your enjoyment of communicating with people here and now.

   • If you find it difficult to start living in the present day, try yoga or meditation. These activities will help you become more balanced.
   • Think about it: If something unpleasant happens at work, you become upset and can no longer enjoy the time you spend at home with your family. Why not separate these areas, instead of allowing one bad event to spoil all the good things that could happen after it?
   • In addition, if you focus on the present, you will be able to pay more attention to the work you are doing at the moment and listen more carefully to what others are saying to you.

4. Appreciate what you have at the moment. If you want to be happy, you need to be able to be grateful to fate for what you have. Take a piece of paper, sit down and write down all the things that deserve gratitude. Tell yourself that you will write until you fill the entire page. Take the time to read all these things out loud and feel sincere gratitude for all the good things in your life. You can be grateful for very important things, such as good health, but don’t forget to mention even such little things as a cup of delicious coffee at your favorite cafe on the corner.

   • Make it a habit to develop a sense of gratitude. If something good happens, write down somewhere how grateful you are for it. If you make a point of noticing all the things that deserve gratitude, you will find that you are much happier than you previously thought.
   • Take the time to say thank you to all those people who have done something good for you, no matter how big or small the favor. This will show others how important this is to you.

5. Look at the situation somewhat detached. Another way to feel happy is to try to put things into perspective. Step back and look at the situation with an open mind. Of course, you may have certain difficulties in your relationships or too much workload at the moment, but in general, you have a roof over your head, there is love and joy in your life, and many other things that deserve gratitude. Of course, it's not easy to resist despair when something in your life goes wrong, but if you want to learn to feel happy, make it a habit to look at the big picture of your life.

   • This may be the last thing you want to hear in moments of despair, but it's worth considering that from other people's point of view, your life may seem completely rosy, even if you find it hard to believe.
   • The very fact that you have access to the Internet and the ability to find help here suggests that the situation is not as dire as you think.

6. Try to think more about your needs. If you always put other people's interests above your own, you are unlikely to feel happy. Of course, this does not mean at all that you have the right to take care only of yourself, your loved one, pushing other people with your elbows on your way. However, it is worth allowing yourself to spend more time achieving your goals and satisfying your own desires and needs. If you are used to first of all taking into account the interests of your family, friends and loved ones, you should try to find a compromise and make yourself happier.

   • If you feel like you're in a relationship where you have to constantly sacrifice your interests for the sake of the other person, it's time to discuss the situation with your partner. This situation cannot continue indefinitely if you want to become happy.
   • Learn to defend your interests. If your friend has chosen a movie to watch together the last five times, now it's your turn. Start small by advocating for yourself, and you'll soon learn to make bigger decisions on your own.

7. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good around you. One way to have a more optimistic outlook on the world is to maintain close communication with people who consider you wonderful person capable of extraordinary deeds. If you spend a lot of time around people who make you doubt your abilities, feel insecure and unable to act on your own, it will harm your happiness in the near future.

   • Look at the situation soberly. Look around and think about who from your environment helps you believe in yourself, and who does the opposite. If you find yourself spending a lot of time around people who undermine your sense of self-confidence, it's time to limit such interactions.
   • It is hardly possible to feel happy around people who make you feel worthless. Of course, it is very painful to break off relationships with people who have been in your life for a long time, but you need to learn to think about your well-being first.

   Part 2

   It's time to act

   1. Solve your problems. If you want to become a happy person, it's time to stop turning a blind eye to your problems. Of course, it is very important to feel that only you have the power to make yourself happy. However, sometimes it is impossible to achieve happiness until you deal with the problems that make you feel unhappy. Actions that make life better deserve all respect and require remarkable effort.

      • If you are in a relationship that is not bringing you satisfaction, it is better to end it as soon as possible, rather than hope that it will improve on its own.
      • If you're definitely feeling miserable because you hate your job, find the motivation to find a new and better one.
      • If you are somewhat insecure and unsure of yourself, try to love yourself. Perhaps you should see a therapist, do something for your own development, or make a plan to find happiness.

   2. Learn to cope with stress. In order to make yourself a happy person, you need to learn how to cope with stressful situations that life throws at you from time to time. Of course, you can take steps to help reduce stress in your life. But in any case, to be happy, you need to develop the ability to cope with stressful situations. Try to meet difficult situations with your visor open, instead of burying your head in the sand until everything completely collapses. Below are a few ways to help you cope with stress:

      • Find someone you can talk to about this. You can discuss the situation with a close friend or relative, or seek help from a therapist. The main thing is not to be left alone with stress.
      • See if you are taking on too many things. If you feel like being responsible for five things at once is too overwhelming for you, find a way to limit things in your life and make it more manageable.
      • Get into the habit of doing something to take your mind off things. You can read interesting book, go for a long walk or just drink a cup of chamomile tea. Just find your own way to distract yourself and follow it.

   3. Make time for your favorite activity. One of the surest ways to become happy is to simply set aside time in your schedule to devote to your favorite pastime, be it baking pies or reading. love story or relaxation alone with nature. Even half an hour a day that you spend doing what you love will make you much happier for the rest of the time. Check your schedule and find some time in it for the things you love.

      • If it turns out that you can find time for your favorite activity only by waking up in the morning half an hour earlier than usual, make a choice in favor of this decision. Getting up half an hour earlier will not in any way affect the quality of your night's rest, and doing your favorite thing at the beginning of the day will give you a boost of vigor and good mood.
      • Find time for your favorite activity, even if you are very busy. If you are in complete despair because of a job you hate and spend every minute of your free time looking for a new one, then half an hour a day that you devote to writing poetry will not affect the search process in any way. The pleasure you get from your favorite activity will stay with you for the rest of the day.

   4. Set goals for yourself and achieve them. If you want to do something that will help you become happy, you should try to set realistic goals and work towards achieving them. This will make you purposeful and give you an incentive to further development and will help you feel happy. If you break down the process of achieving your goal into small steps, it will help you feel happy every time you manage to achieve your goal for each small step. You should not allow yourself to feel happy only at the moment of achieving the final goal, otherwise the entire path to it will become a real torment for you.

      • Make a list of your goals and cross them off as you achieve them. This will help you feel happier and more successful.
      • Don't blame yourself if you start by finding easy goals for yourself. This will help you find the motivation to keep moving forward.

   5. Keep a diary. There is another way to feel happy - write down the events of your life in a diary at least several times a week. This will help you reflect, give vent to your emotions, spend time alone with yourself and look at your life from the outside. Take a break to stop, write down your thoughts and reflect on them, you are unlikely to be able to put your own life into perspective.

      • Set aside time for yourself to write in a journal at least once a week. Remind yourself that this is necessary in order to be happy.
      • Re-read your journal every few weeks to become more aware of what makes you happy and what doesn't.

   6. Get out of the house more often. There is another simple one, but effective method become happier. To do this, you need to leave the house more often. To feel happier, simply take a walk in the sunshine, wander around your neighborhood and get some fresh air. Don't spend hours languishing in a dark house, typing on a keyboard until your fingers hurt. If you work from home, try to get outside at least two to three times a day. This will give you a feeling of happiness.

      • When you leave the house, even just to do something mundane, you feel much happier because you are surrounded by other people.
      • Try planning more activities with friends just to get out of the house. You shouldn’t allow yourself to waste time aimlessly, lying on your bed for hours.

   7. Make other people happy. It has been proven that if you make people happy, it will in turn make you happy. You can do something nice for a friend who needs help, help a neighbor walk his dog, or volunteer. When you take the time to help other people, you yourself become happier, changing the lives of others for the better. If you are always focused only on yourself, then there is a high probability that you will feel frustrated and will not see the forest for the trees.

      • Make it a habit to do something nice for people you know just because. Don't wait until your friend's birthday to give him a gift. A gift for no reason will impress a person much more.
      • You may say that you have no free time at all. Try to find time to volunteer at least two to three times a month. you will be surprised how much it will inspire you and fill your life with meaning.

   8. Keep your surroundings tidy and clean. It may sound cliché, but if you take the time to declutter your home, it will make a significant difference in the level of happiness in your life. Take the time to declutter, throw out trash, and remove everything you don't use from your life. If you have items in good condition that you don't need, donate them to charity. When you do all this, you will feel much happier because you can breathe freely in a clutter-free home.

      • Even if you take just ten minutes each day to leisurely declutter your home, you'll be surprised how much it will change your life.
      • If your home is a mess, things are lying around chaotically, and you don't bother keeping it clean, then there is a high chance that you will feel depressed, lost and unhappy. Re-establishing order in your living space will help make your life more organized.

   Part 3

   Take care of yourself

   1. Make sure you get enough sleep. If you want to be happy, make sure your body's basic needs are met. One of these needs is the need for proper rest. If you want to be happy, try to sleep 7-9 hours a day, or as much as your body needs for proper rest. Also, try to stick to a regular bedtime and wake-up routine, this will help you fall asleep faster in the evening and wake up easier in the morning.

      • Create a calm atmosphere that will help you fall asleep more easily. Turn off the TV, computer, and other electronic devices at least an hour before bedtime.
      • Don't sacrifice sleep time for entertainment. It's hard to be happy if you feel exhausted and literally collapse from fatigue.

   2. Find at least 30 minutes a day to relax. Even if you are very busy, try to set aside at least half an hour a day to relax. It is impossible to spend the whole day on useful and productive activities until the last second, otherwise your head will literally explode! You should be fair to yourself and set aside at least half an hour every day to take your mind off things and do something completely useless, frivolous and fun. For example, you can read latest magazine about the life of pop stars, watch your favorite TV show or chat on the phone with a friend.

      • It doesn't matter what exactly you do. The main thing is for you to know that this time is specially set aside for rest. This will allow you to relax physically and mentally as you are doing something just for yourself.
      • Everyone has their own preferred way of relaxing. If you need a short walk or reading some poetry to relax, just do it.

   3. Eat healthy. Another essential component of taking care of yourself and finding happiness in life is eating three healthy meals every day. This will help your brain work more efficiently, give you energy, and prevent you from feeling tired and sluggish. Even if you are very busy, do not forget to maintain a normal diet healthy eating, because it is important for ensuring a positive perception of life.

      • Even if you are very busy, don't skip breakfast. You need to start the day right and give your body the energy it needs to feel good throughout the day.
      • Each meal should consist of a reasonable combination of vegetables, fruits, lean proteins and healthy carbohydrates. This will make you feel balanced.
      • If you need a snack between meals, eat healthy foods. Keep some almonds, a cup of yogurt, sliced ​​carrots or celery with peanut butter on hand. These products will provide you with the necessary energy and will not harm your health.
      • Of course, from time to time you want to eat something sweet or fatty. Sometimes it’s good to cut yourself a little slack and eat a piece of the desired treat. If you strictly limit yourself to your favorite foods, you are unlikely to feel happy.

   4. Play sports. Exercising for at least half an hour every day will release endorphins in your body and make you feel healthier and happier. You can walk, ride a bike or do any other sport, the main thing is that any physical activity contributes to the emotional and physical health of your body. When you exercise, you feel happy.

      • You can join a recreational soccer or basketball team, or join a running club. If playing sports gives you an additional opportunity for interesting communication, it will make you happier.
      • Try to increase your physical activity in general. Instead of taking the elevator, take the stairs on foot. Walk instead of driving. Even small changes like these can make a huge difference.

   5. Learn to enjoy communication with friends and family. Finding time to connect with loved ones will help you feel happier about yourself and your life. Even if you are very busy, try to find time to spend at least a few hours a week with your loved ones. You will feel happier and forget about the feeling of loneliness. When you communicate with a person, try to listen to what he is telling you, be sincere, and such communication will help you take your mind off everyday worries.

      • Close friend or dear person will always lend a shoulder if you need to cry at a difficult moment. If you are already in a good mood, communicating with loved ones will make it even better, and you will feel truly happy.
      • If you don't have a busy schedule at work, add one or two events into your weekly schedule where you can chat with people in an informal setting. You will be surprised how inspiring the energy of the people around you is.

   6. Don't forget about hygiene. You may think that talking about hygiene has nothing to do with happiness. However, you will be surprised if you think about how much self-care affects a person's experience in everyday life. Taking a daily shower or bath, regular oral hygiene, and other daily hygiene routines can improve your overall outlook and make you happier. You can hardly feel happy if you haven't had a chance to shower for several days.

      • You don't have to dress the best in the world to feel happy. However, taking care of your appearance significantly improves your mood.
      • If you are careless in your clothes, then there is a high probability that you do everything carelessly in life.

   7. Have a day of fun at home. If you want to give yourself a little happiness, try hosting a day of treats right in your home. Take a day off and use this time to get some rest. Take a hot bath, make a hair and facial mask, or just lie on the couch, enjoying the soft light of candles and the sounds of your favorite music. You must love yourself and be able to feel that it is time to relax a little and pamper yourself.

      • Consider getting a massage or giving it to yourself. This will help you relax physically and mentally and make you feel happy.
      • Don't forget that you deserve to be cared for, even if you are very busy. Take time to take care of yourself and your body's needs and you will feel happy.

“Morality teaches not how to become happy, but how to become worthy of happiness.”

―Immanuel Kant

I wonder if every woman can say that she is happy? When we are asked a similar question, we immediately answer - of course, I am happy, because I have everything - a caring husband, children, a job I love.

Is this about you? Then you are on the right track. But the most important thing is not to convince yourself of this, but to really feel this way.

Positive thinking is the first step to victory. But some women tend to succumb to other people's opinions, thinking that happiness should be the way it is written in books or shown on TV. Such women become depressed... And then, having suffered enough, they subject their loved ones to oppression.

How to learn to be happy every day

Day after day, the minutes of our lives expire, a woman strives to be in time everywhere, to be and remain, healthy, beautiful, to succeed as a mother, to be loved and, of course, to make a career. In the bustle of these days, we sometimes forget to even just look up and see how beautiful the blue sky is and how beautifully the birds sing.

You need to stop and look around and find the beauty in the little things, because there is no “yesterday” and “tomorrow”, but only "Here and now". Think about the fact that tomorrow may never come. What would you do today? Maybe it's worth living on full blast, breathe deeply, do what you have long dreamed of and say “I love” to everyone you love.

But don't forget that the advice is to live every day like last time, does not mean that you should drink, party and do stupid things. Try to enjoy every moment! This is not easy to learn, but if you start now, you will soon learn to be happy regardless of circumstances and people.

14 golden rules of happiness:

1. When you wake up, the first thing you do is smile at yourself and the sun (smile at your family, friends, passers-by)…
2. Stop complaining about life, comparing yourself to others, and thinking negatively. Learn to enjoy the little things without taking failures to heart.
3. Find your hobby.
4. Unlearn negative thinking and “cut off” all thoughts about bad things.
5. Enjoy food (while eating, think about food, its smell, taste, stop watching TV).
6. Take a walk outside, enjoying nature.
7. Watch life-affirming films, listen to pleasant music (audio, song or video does not matter), choose something that pleases and warms the soul, let it be a melodrama or a thriller, a comedy series or a historical film...
8. Forgive the offenders and let go of the past, leave only good things in the present. It's easy to learn to forgive you need to forgive yourself first, because we are human, we tend to make mistakes. Remember how in the movie “Eat, Pray, Love”? Send a ray of light to someone dear to you, so you will give a piece of yourself, starting a new life filled with happiness.
9. Read books or essays on psychology (fortunately there are plenty of them). For example, Dale Carnegie and his “Textbook of Life”, Louise Hay “Everything a Woman Wants”, Sister Stephanie “What to Name a Child to Make Him Happy”..., Mrinal Kumar Gupta “How to Always Be Happy”, in each of the books has its own morality.
   find various trainings and affirmations (they are available online and completely free on the Internet).
10. Do good to others for free.
11. Take time for yourself (thinking about the meaning of life, plans for the summer, etc.).
12. Always put “love” first in all situations.
13. Dream.
14. Give thanks for everything you have now.

Joy in the family

Every woman must remember that there is nothing more expensive than family. It is this that is the foundation of happiness. And your heart will tell you how to be happy in your family.

There are two options:

1. You understand that you don’t love your husband, having clearly realized that he is not your person and you are unhappy with him - leave.
2. You accept your spouse as he is, without wanting to change “to suit you.”

The recipe is simply simple.

Next, you should understand that it is very important to become a mistress in the family, loving wife and a good mother all rolled into one. Dr. Torsunov, in his lectures on Ayurveda - the science of life, reveals principles that help specifically family people improve relationships, diet, get rid of bad habits. For example, giving lectures can help you quit smoking or get rid of cravings for alcohol if your husband or wife drinks.

In a relationship with a man

The main rules for strong and long-lasting relationships:

• become his friend
• take care of yourself
• learn to cook deliciously
• "don't blow your mind"
• surprise him in bed
• leave him time for personal space (going to a sports bar, drinking beer with friends)
• say "I love you"
• don't try to change it
• be yourself

So simple, but at the same time complex rules will help you not to lose your man.

If you are getting married, think about whether communication with your lover brings you joy. Maybe you're just jealous of other married couples, or you're just tired of parental care? Then there is no need to rush into marriage.

Psychologists advise downloading the book “How to Become Loved and Desired.” It was written by modern writer Oksana Duplyakina. The author gives advice to all women. With her books, she teaches women to be more confident in themselves, to recognize their chosen one or husband from the other side, to establish relationships with him…. And here’s what Carnegie’s “Textbook of Life” tells us about the relationship between a husband and his wife:
do not criticize or find fault with your husband;
there is no reason for jealousy, do not pursue him for any reason;
show each other signs of attention, know how to listen to your interlocutor;
be proactive, that is, notify your husband in advance about your or common plans;
read good book about sex (spouses can get to know each other better).

But what about a man - should he do something? Of course I should.

Read A. Pushkin’s poem “Onegin’s Letter to Tatyana”, the heroes of this work are happy or maybe depressed by their feelings... think about who you are for your man, who are you next to him?

Usually the reasons for divorces or quarrels in relationships are lack of money, dissatisfaction with sexual relations or divergence of interests.

Being married is a real art that requires learning and new practices. Rimma Home’s book “Magical Women’s Things” is especially for women. She will tell you that you are a valuable prize, a godsend for a man, they will hunt you like prey. Decide on a “magic experiment” with Rimma. The writer has a wealth of experience in communicating with the opposite sex, passes it on to other women, and advises how to keep a loved one, without straining too much, how to raise your self-esteem. You can learn more about this book by reading reviews and reviews from readers.

Alone

What to do if a woman is alone?

Accept this fact as new stage in life and enjoy your solitude. You don’t have to cook for someone in the morning or wash dirty socks, you live for yourself and can do whatever you want. Enjoy this period and you won’t notice how the one person with whom you want to wash your socks and cook breakfast will appear in your life.

Understand that successful and happy people attract others like you. If you are heartbroken and suffer, you will attract the same loser to you.

(For all those who want to change everything in their lives once and for all, we recommend Vitaly Gibert’s book “Modeling the Future”).

After reading the text on Tibetan medicine by a Tibetan doctor, you will understand that women do not have time to develop in modern world, that is, their physical state - the physical does not keep up with the spiritual. Previously, it was not like this, women gave birth to 5-10 children, but did not do additional things, and were much less tired. So, you are in a period when a woman is cleansing her body (menstruation), you also need to cleanse yourself spiritually, do meditation, for example, or do something useful, simple, you can’t be nervous these days, splashing out your energy too much, you need Let only good feelings into your soul. According to this theory, women are divided into 3 types: wind (lung), bile (trip), mucus (badkan). Not very pleasant names, but it’s worth studying these types of female energy, at least for general development. Moreover, each type has its own character, its own diet, which helps to cope with PMS and, as a result, increase your vitality. It seems like simple recommendations that will help a woman overcome difficulties and establish contact with herself and other people.

Say in front of the mirror - I am strong, I am a person worthy of respect and love, I value myself and love myself for who I am! Despite the loneliness, as you can see, I am alive, and everything will be fine with me.