Passion. What is passion and how to recognize it. What is passion between a man and a woman? Understanding passionate feelings

(from Lat. - endure, endure): strong, uncontrollable love for someone or for something, so desire to enjoy the object of love, which at the same time suppresses the will of a person. Passions can be divided into physical and spiritual. The first are gluttony, laziness, etc. The second include erotic attraction, lust for power, revenge, and self-interest. - expression inner world person.B modern meaning words passion is a feeling that completely captures a person. Each person usually has a variety of inclinations and preferences and freely chooses between his desires; the judge here is reason, and its choice turns into an act of will; man lives in a regime of democratic rule of inclinations. But in the presence of passion, the opposite is true, and he already lives under the tyrannical rule of one single inclination. In a passionate act, the responsibility of the subject may seem reduced, in the sense that reason no longer interferes in the individual’s choice of his goal, but only in the process of justifying this goal and searching for any possible means for its implementation. There is an affective logic with the help of which a subject possessed by passion elevates everything to his passion: if we do not approve of it, then we do not understand the subject, and vice versa, if we approve, then we understand. “The heart has its own reasons, unknown to reason” (Pascal, “Thoughts”, 1670). There is a peculiar paralogic of a person obsessed with passion when he evaluates ideas or people only depending on how they relate to the object of his passion. not only directs all the powers of the spirit towards one single goal (“there is no unconscious passion,” which is why animals are deprived of it) (Kant, “Anthropology from a Pragmatic Point of View,” 1797). It also presupposes a wide activity of the imagination. Finally, passion is a state that fundamentally modifies personality, in contrast to emotion, which is only a fleeting state. Kant (ibid.) even contrasted emotions and passions: “Where there are many emotions, there are few passions,” meaning by this that emotions disperse the personality into many directions, while passion locks it into a single direction. is also a way of knowing. Plato in the dialogue “Symposium,” far from contrasting passion with reason, shows that passion lies at the origins cognitive process. Plato develops a theory of love, according to which every Living being is looking for another - one of a kind - creature, his other half, with whom in the mythical past they were a single being. Love as the search for another lifts the spirit from beautiful bodies to beautiful souls, from beautiful human works to sciences and further to eternal beauty- the object of philosophy. Only by passions are the values ​​that animate our actions measured. If the passion is very strong, an individual’s loyalty to one or another value can even go as far as sacrificing himself. Reason is light, but not an incentive to action: “Love of truth is a very sublime inspiration, but a very weak motivation” (Comte, “The System of Positive Politics”). Individual passions are the driving forces and instruments of history. Moralists distinguish between passions that can rather be called good and passions that can be classified as bad (stinginess, hatred), depending on their object: inspired passions that generate enthusiasm (from the Greek - to be in God) and creativity, and blind passions , bringing with them fanaticism, Psychologists here distinguish between those obsessed with passion who do not perceive anything beyond the limits of their passion, from the fanatic who wants to force another to share his passion by any means, even violence. The sociologist will note here that any passion that constrains life in society will be considered bad or even insane, while that person obsessed with passion who serves society or its change will be qualified as “a person serving an ideal.” It always turns out that “nothing great is accomplished in the world without passion” (Hegel, “Reason in History,” 1830) and that passions are the driving forces of history. In universal history, “passions constitute an active element,” but behind them and with their help the idea realizes itself, i.e. the general evolution of the world towards a better social order. Private passions will then be unconscious instruments for the implementation of reason in history.

Definitions, meanings of words in other dictionaries:

General psychology. Dictionary. Ed. A.V. Petrovsky

Passion is a strong, persistent, all-encompassing feeling that dominates a person’s other impulses and leads to the concentration of all his aspirations and forces on the subject of S. The reasons for the formation of S. are quite diverse - they can be determined by conscious ideological beliefs...

Philosophical Dictionary

Philosophical meaning of the term: Eros is the god of love, the oldest of the gods; Eros (Love) as the antagonist of Enmity - the term of the cosmogony of Hesiod, Parmenides; in the teachings of Plato - the demon of love and creativity, a mediator between the sensual and the supersensible, a symbol of the cognitive (in contemplation)...

Philosophical Dictionary

Philosophical meaning of the term: “The nature of celestial bodies is fiery” (Anaximenes); “Eternally living” fire is an element that has been present for centuries and sets a certain rhythm of life with its flickering (Heraclitus); “first fire” (intelligent breathing) is an image of an active (intelligent-creative) principle, rhythmically...

Which woman has not dreamed of a passionate relationship, “like in the movies?” A hot and temperamental lover, passionate quarrels and reconciliations, intense emotions - these are what many girls dream about. After all, this is what, in their opinion, real, strong feelings look like. And calm and gentle relationships seem boring. But is passion really necessary in a relationship?

What especially frightens many girls is the disappearance of passion in long relationship. Beginning with passionate love, they gradually develop into deep affection. But such a natural process is perceived by many as cooling, as if “love has cooled down.” And in pursuit of passions, they rush into new and new relationships, depriving themselves of the happiness of living the whole gamut of emotions. Or they begin to provoke their partner into a stormy showdown in order to experience outbursts of emotions again.

Is passion necessary in a relationship? Psychologist's opinion

Passionate relationships look attractive, especially when you are young. When passions run high for any reason, when every little thing causes emotional swings and adrenaline in the blood. But it is impossible to live constantly in exhausting tension. Moreover, sooner or later, those outbursts of passion that previously attracted increasingly become, over time, the reason for tiresome scandals.

Is passion necessary in a relationship? video

For example, if at the beginning of a relationship girls like the fact that their loved one is jealous of them, then the constant reproaches and suspicions begin to tire. If at the “candy-bouquet” stage it’s so sweet to quarrel “forever” and then make peace no less passionately, then after a while stormy showdowns become predictable.

Passion is a hot seasoning, hot and spicy. But if you don’t eat only spicy food every day, it won’t take long for you to develop an ulcer. Strong relationships should be built not on passion, but on mutual respect, affection, tenderness, responsibility and love. And passion only serves to highlight them, as in delicious dish a pinch of spices emphasizes the main taste.

Sometimes passion can ruin a relationship. After all, this strong emotion blinds, pushes to recklessness, demands that the loved one belong undividedly and completely. In passion, one’s own desires come to the fore, not the good of the partner. Therefore, conflicts and disagreements arise.

When choosing a life partner, a girl wants to see next to her, first of all, a reliable, responsible person who will become a good father to her children and the support of the family. And here the passionate macho loses to the calm, reasonable, understanding and gentle guy. “Italian passions” with breaking dishes and loud scandals are good on screen, but in life we ​​need a reliable “safe haven” and the support of our partner. And we are unlikely to strive to turn family life into eternal showdowns with breaks for sex.

Passion is an extremely strong feeling that arises at the level of intuition. It is expressed as a passion, craving or inclination towards something or someone. The objects of passion are both people and objects, ideas and even thoughts. About how passion manifests itself, what form it takes in a given situation, and how to recognize it in modern world, and will be discussed below.

What is passion: psychologists answer

Psychologists and philosophers of our time characterize passion as a strong emotional outburst that takes precedence over a person’s mind, actions and other feelings. True, they are convinced that passion is a neutral feeling, and only the person experiencing it is able to give this feeling a positive or negative emotional connotation.

The fact is that a person gripped by passion immediately experiences a lot of strong emotions - joy, anxiety, anticipation, expectation, and sometimes doubt. These emotions lead to the fact that a person begins to behave in some sense inappropriately, in other words, he commits actions that will seem thoughtless or simply stupid to others. This happens due to the release of hormones in the body: serotonin, endorphin and adrenaline.

As noted earlier, passion most often acts as a destructive feeling. But man is capable of transforming negative energy into a positive one.

So, for example, psychologists recommend that it is in a fit of such emotions that one begins to develop oneself. It is worth doing something that you have long dreamed of, but did not dare to do for one reason or another, for example, start studying foreign language or go traveling. This process can capture all thoughts, shift attention and, ultimately, bring new knowledge and impressions to life. However, a person does not always have enough self-control and strength to independently control his will, initially experiencing passion and craving for something else.

Although the concept of "passion" has several meanings, most people identify it exclusively with sexual arousal towards a partner or even with love (using the term "passionate love").

However, psychologists deny the identification of the concepts of “love” and “passion”, and the majority even oppose them. They are convinced that relationships built on sexual attraction, selfish, unlike love. Each partner, man or woman, pursues his own goal in such a relationship, while using the other.

Passion in these relationships acts like a drug; it grabs a person headlong, but just as quickly lets go. Scientists even set a period for such relationships - no more than two years. They believe that exactly this amount of time is stored in the human body. increased level certain type proteins - neurotrophins. Over time, it begins to steadily decline, and former feelings, mistaken for love, gradually disappear.

How do you know if a person is passionate?

Nobody wants to be a “toy” in a relationship. But being an “object of passion” is much more honorable, although the outcome for this kind of relationship is still the same. And here the question arises: is it possible to understand from a person whether he is experiencing passion or this is a deeper feeling. Psychologists identify the following signs that are characteristic of people who experience only passion for their partner, which is expressed exclusively in sexual interest:

  1. A person has a greedy interest in the body of the chosen one; manners and other external manifestations are important to him.
  2. Flirting and seduction dominate intimate conversations.
  3. Increased, sometimes pathological jealousy. It manifests itself due to an unbridled desire to possess and control the object of passion.
  4. A person is not inclined to talk about his true feelings; his thoughts are focused only on his own fantasies.
  5. Apart from sexual contacts and having fun, other joint activities are of little interest.

Signs of passion are also determined physically, just don’t rush to draw conclusions based on them. Remember that passion is inherent in everyone, and a person occasionally succumbs to it, since it is inherent in his nature. Another thing is when he systematically experiences strong passion, ceasing to control himself. Physically it will be expressed like this:

  • Cardiopalmus;
  • Frequent movement around the room;
  • Involuntary dilation of the pupils;
  • Frequently being in a state of sexual arousal;
  • Slight hand trembling;

Before entering into a relationship with a new partner, observe his behavior and manners. Even a shallow analysis will help you understand the true motives and make the right decision.

Types of passion

Passion can be classified according to different criteria. For example, classification is carried out according to the object to which it is directed.


  • Sexual passion - a description of its signs was disclosed earlier.
  • Passion for a hobby. In this case, other thoughts and feelings fade into the background. Such passion mobilizes a person’s strength and makes him capable of performing actions almost to the limit of physical and mental capabilities. For example, at creative people masterpieces are born or new plans and ideas appear.
  • Passion for thrills. It is typical for people who are fond of extreme sports or who take narcotic substances. In the second case, there is a change in sensitivity nervous system, in which a person is no longer interested in standard pleasures and joys.
  • Passion for work. It turns people with a heightened sense of responsibility and duty into true fans of their craft. As a rule, such passion is accompanied by an unregulated list of responsibilities and irregular working hours.

Pride, greed, fornication, envy, gluttony, anger, despondency - all these are also types of passions, together representing the “seven deadly sins” in Orthodoxy.

Passion in this case is a skill of the soul that has formed in it from repeated repetition of the same sins and has become, as it were, its natural quality - so much so that a person is not able to get rid of passion, even when he realizes that it no longer brings him pleasure, but it causes pain. Actually, the word “passion” in the Church Slavonic language just means suffering.


And these sins are called mortal because they entail the death of the soul. Unable to stop, the human soul eventually loses contact with God and becomes incapable of experiencing spiritual joy either in a person’s earthly life or in posthumous existence.

Passion is an ambiguous concept. On the one hand, it brings destruction because it eclipses human mind and does not allow one to assess the situation soberly, even leading to irreparable consequences. On the other hand, passion motivates people to creativity and action, and gives the strength to implement bold, large-scale projects. It’s even difficult to imagine what civilization in the 21st century would be like without people’s passionate desire to understand the world around them. The ability to channel passion in the right direction leads to development, but the absence of this skill can destroy destinies and lives.

The concept of “passion” in the modern world has turned into a tired cliche, which is absolutely necessary for every person in order to be a full-fledged person. It is believed that it is impossible to live without passion in a relationship, that love fades away without it, people get divorced. But is it? What is passion in a relationship? And is there really an urgent need for it? Or is the family still built on something else? Let's try to figure this out.

After reading the commentary of any experienced and intelligent woman, we will be convinced that passion is by no means a virtue, but rather a vice, which we definitely should not strive for by force. Of course, every couple sometimes dreams of a spicy relationship, but something spicy can cause you to get cut off and even damage your partner.

What is passion and where to look for the reasons?

Passion is a very feeling strong character, which are usually caused by an acute desire to possess something, regardless of reason and ethical standards. Against the background of passion, everything else fades and dims, and life itself in its essence becomes empty and lifeless.

It doesn’t make the object of passion feel better either, because it’s not a desire to love, caress, fulfill desires... but simply the need to possess. Passion goes hand in hand with sexual concern, and a person can... dignity forget.

Passion does not usually arise in relation to something positive, accessible or, conversely, already familiar and from a less than pleasant side. But if there is a mystery in a person, if he seems like a closed book in an attractive cover, then passion arises - the passion to learn more, to touch, to try. Once the opportunity arises to see him/her, it does not guarantee further development events that give rise to feelings such as:

  • Fear;
  • Uncertainty;
  • Mistrust;
  • Waste of strength.

A family built on love, mutual respect, and not on blind passion, guarantees a healthy psychological background.

Passion is like a spice

Of course, passion is not an entirely negative manifestation of feelings. The passionate attraction of spouses for each other, like a hot spice, adds flavor family relations, fuels the fire family love. And many spouses eventually begin to complain about its absence. Here are some tips to spark your passion.

  1. Flirting. So what if you’ve been married for many years, so what if you’re no longer young. Flirting in small doses is good for everyone. This is a reason to forget about everyday life for a while and feel like a conqueror/predator.
  2. Replace the word “sex” with some nice allegory, like “strawberries and cream.” Such mystery will excite.
  3. Write each other SMSs with erotic content, or just about something intimate or pleasant.
  4. Organize joint entertainment such as a joint photo shoot. It will allow you to open up in a new way, realize old fantasies, and just interact for an hour.
  5. Change the situation: spend the weekend not on the couch, but, for example, in a park or in the countryside.
  6. Give your significant other a romantic date, just like in the first days of your acquaintance. And it doesn't matter whether you are a man or a woman.

Passion and love: what are relationships built on?

If in heaven there is only talk about the sea, as the heroes of the film “Knocking on Heaven's Door” claim, then on earth there is talk only about love. You probably have to be very original not to write about this on the eve of Valentine's Day. Let's talk about love and passion!
For many people, these two concepts are identical, they are periodically confused, but from the point of view of psychological health and healthy relationships, this is fraught with problems. This endless confusion occurs because often these two feelings occur in parallel.

If we now try to define “love,” we will have to publish a multi-volume book with hundreds of thousands of text, and add terabytes of video and audio materials. Therefore, let's focus on the differences between love and passion, and we will rely only on some theses.

Dictionary “Ozhegova” Love defines as a strong feeling of deep affection, selfless and sincere affection. A passion like an ardent desire.

These two conflicting definitions will help us distinguish between these feelings. Love is based on intimacy, while passion is purely on desire.

Passion- a person’s lust that is uncontrollable and has a significant impact on his thinking and behavior.

E. Fromm argued that instincts, or natural drives, are rooted in the physiological needs of a person, while human passions are rooted in his character. In other words: instincts- this is the answer to physiological needs person, then passions- a response to his existential needs.

E. Fromm distinguished between rational passions (for example, love) and irrational passions (greed, vanity, etc.). Rational passions are viable. They lead to a person’s self-affirmation, enhance his sense of joy, contribute to the manifestation of his integrity and give meaning to his life. Irrational passions, on the contrary, interfere with a person’s life, undermine his strength, lead to duality and loss of the meaning of life. A person is possessed by such passions as the need for love, tenderness, solidarity, freedom, truth, on the one hand, and the thirst for power, submission, destruction, on the other. All these and many other passions lead him through life, become the cause of worries and anxieties, and are the source that feeds dreams, myths, legends, religions, art, and literature.

What is at the heart of the relationship?

In the context of talking about relationships and love, we, of course, consider first of all love passion. The reason for such passion lies in the biochemistry of the body. The first thing we notice in the object of our attraction is bodily sympathy; this is where our unconscious ideals of beauty come into play. The second is the smell produced by the pheromone, which is recognized by an organ on the wall of the sinuses. Therefore, one person’s smell for us looks like “mine, attracts”, while the other, on the contrary, “is not mine”.

Passion is a feeling that evokes very strong emotions due to the powerful release of adrenaline and neurotrophins into the blood, which act like a drug. That's why we like to experience attraction so much.

For a person, this feeling is like a long-awaited, fresh breath, giving an incredible amount of strength, a storm of emotions, and an incredible increase in motivation.

You are already impressed by this explosive mixture of biochemistry and mental processes? But unlike animals, we make decisions using reason and logic. You can give in to passions (such is human nature), but whether to give in to passions is an ethical and psychological question for each.

Relationships based on passion

In a relationship based on passion, satisfying your desires comes first. In this state, we want to experience bright love emotions, to be with another, but we do not want to get attached. These two opposing forces create tension, a barrier that prevents you from seeing and accepting the other. If passion fills the entire space of a relationship, it will destroy it and ultimately lead to loneliness. In pursuit of passions, we are unable to accept the warmth and care of another. Often independent people are victims of their passion: the relationship brought pain and disappointment, and now unexperienced passion and fear prevent them from experiencing true love.

Therefore, we can say that passion in itself is wonderful, but when it occupies only part of the relationship and is rational. Moreover, the production of hormones responsible for attachment and positive reinforcement of sexual behavior lasts no more than two to three years. Morbid passion, like madness, deprives a person of personality. We seek to absorb the other, denying ourselves. Such a relationship is akin to blackmail, where the question “do you love me?” is constantly heard, although in fact the person orders “love me!”

There may be passion in love, but in passion there is no place for love.

Relationships based on love

What can we say about love? The first is undoubtedly a more lasting feeling than passion. IN healthy relationships there is “I” and there is “YOU”, there are clear boundaries, there is freedom and trust, there is care and warmth, and at the same time there is an amazing feeling of intimacy. It’s not for nothing that I highlighted “healthy relationships”, because there are unhealthy forms of such relationships that tend to be passed off as love. These, for example, include dependent relationships (dependent love). When there are no boundaries between “I” and “YOU”, but there are the only form- "WE". Such relationships can last for years and bring a lot of suffering in exchange for moments of happiness.

IN love relationships the happiness and desires of the other are highly valued, the feelings of the other are respected. Such relationships are always long-term, and like any relationship they inevitably encounter crises. However, in case mutual love, actions are chosen and considered with care, with a desire to agree and find a common solution.

Unfortunately, it's far away not all people had experience unconditional love from his mother, in their parental family, did not know the experience of open, safe and trusting relationships. Therefore, in adult life may demonstrate some a surrogate that seems to them like love.

And only a miracle can solve the situation if they meet a truly loving other person and are open enough to learn how to love. In all other cases, it’s purely about working on yourself. In everyday psychology, it is generally accepted that people do not know how to express negative feelings and emotions, and this is why they have problems. But I more often come across another phenomenon, when people do not know how to express feelings of love, and what’s even worse is that they simply do not have the experience of this love.

Learn to separate passion from love, learn to love! Let not only passion cover you, but let there be love in your life!



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