The husband left will come back or not. How to understand that your ex-husband wants to return to the family. Does a woman need her ex back?

On the wedding day, no one thinks about how the future life of the newlyweds will turn out. Everyone hopes for long and happy years together, but sometimes things turn out differently. At the stage of divorce, people often do not understand how they made the wrong choice, where they made a mistake, why they trusted the person who betrayed them. A difficult and painful path of “recovery”, addiction and arrangement of a new life begins. But sometimes in a series of days something like another shake-up happens again, only this time it is not clear whether it is for the better or not - the husband wants to return to the family after he leaves. How to make the right decision in this case, how to react?

Should I take my husband back?

Psychologists note that the return of a spouse after “all bridges have been burned” is a very painful and controversial issue. The reason for this is the separation that has already taken place, which was a consequence of his misconduct. If the husband reveals a desire to return, the wife often cannot understand whether this is good or bad, whether she should rejoice or continue to build her own new life without this person. Spouses remember everything that happened between them, and this burden of resentment and anger needs to be applied somewhere. In order to understand yourself, you need to do a simple thing.

Disagreements between husband and wife

Don't deceive yourself, you need to put the facts on paper. This will make it clear and convincing. There was something in your life that led to the breakup. You don’t need to think that with the return of your husband everything will return to normal before the problems arose. You need to concentrate and write down everything that did not suit you about your husband during your life together. It is best if he does the same, honestly and openly explaining to you your possible mistakes and mistakes. So you decide whether you can live with it or whether it is worth changing and whether you are ready for change.

This is the first part of working on yourself, which will lead to a partial answer to the question of what to do if the husband wants to return to the family.

Why did the husband return?

The second part of the solution will become more difficult. If at first you had to openly admit what does not suit you in your partner and him in you, then at the next stage you need to understand why you need to reunite and whether it is necessary at all.

A positive answer to the question of reunification is usually based on the following arguments in favor:

1. presence of children;
2. difficult financial situation;
3. social status.

Analyze your own feelings and life before the breakup. Was it good for the children when their parents were on the verge of divorce, how did you behave during this tense period of time, will you be able to provide for yourself?

The husband wants to return to the family: an opportunity to restore the unit of society, return the father to the children, resolve a long-growing conflict, a chance to improve life forever, get rid of tension, worries and mutual claims

Why is it necessary to reunite a family?

The main motive for family reunification should not be the husband’s desire to return, but what makes it worth doing. If you understand the meaning of the situation, you will avoid a period when you constantly want to pry or “prick” your spouse. You will be able to clearly understand which issues are important to you, and which troubles you can avoid and not swear at.

If you don’t understand why you returned everything that was, then ugly and unpleasant situations are possible. You will again not trust, suspect, which will ultimately weaken you and lead to the same separation. Do you need these negative emotions and stress again?

Sometimes you will deceive yourself into believing that the family needs to be reunited, but in reality you will feel disgusting about it. You will understand that there is nothing that was the basis of life together that you cannot revive feelings. The result in this case will be similar to the previous situation.

Do the necessary and important thing - think. Try to ignore good memories and sentimental moments. Weigh the pros and cons.

Agreements between spouses

You need to understand that everything that you create after breaking up will be different. This happens because you have already experienced serious problems, this will remain with you for the rest of your life. You looked at each other differently, you are already different people. Based on the previous discussion, you need to discuss a lot of points:

1. how will you resolve conflict situations;
2. do you agree to change;
3. Is it permissible to mention past events?

Reunification in this case is a mutual effort. Nothing will work out if only one side works. If you perceive your husband as guilty and deserving of forgiveness, you will not be able to create anything other than a temporary union, the fate of which is deplorable.

If a husband wants to return to the family, this does not mean that you need to accept him favorably and then point out his actions all the time. You won't achieve anything by doing this, you'll just amuse your vanity a little. In addition, this may provoke new quarrels.

Remember that the main thing is not to be under the same roof again. The most important and difficult thing is to understand whether you need this, whether you want to live with this person again. Be honest with yourself, there is no need to look for the reason in children or money. Constant quarrels and reproaches are not the best atmosphere for children. You should also not be guided by public opinion. Everyone has the right to happiness, and if you are not happy with the thought that your husband wants to return to the family, then you do not need to force yourself to look happy. Only you can take responsibility for deciding how your future life will turn out.

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If the husband wants to return - a post by user Filinka (Filinka) in the Family Problems community in the category Questions to improve relationships

This is a very complex and painful topic. To understand whether it is good or bad that the husband wants to return to the family, you need to do one simple thing. Imagine your real life situation. Remember what happened between you. There was something in your relationship that caused the breakup.

When answering this question, you should not deceive yourself. It's even better to write everything down on paper. After all, life was not sugar. Otherwise, why would they run in different directions? There was definitely something that didn’t suit you in a key way. Perhaps it was not yours, but your husband's. At the same time, it is necessary to understand that a family is something whole. And if something fundamentally does not suit one, it means that the second spouse has similar feelings. Maybe they are not fully aware of it. But they exist. Perhaps this is the main thing that needs to be understood in order to make a decision - to reunite the family or not. So, let’s ask ourselves the question again: “Is there something about my husband that doesn’t suit me in a key way?” And let’s give ourselves an absolutely honest answer to this question. The second thing you simply need to do is ask your spouse the same question: “Is there something about me that doesn’t suit you in a key way?” And it is very desirable to get an honest answer to this question. When you do all this, you will decide for yourself only ONE part of the dilemma: “What to do if your husband wants to return after a divorce?” There is also a second part. And it is more difficult to implement. Before we begin the second part, you need to answer yourself one more question: “WHY do you want your husband to come back?” Perhaps you explain to yourself that you have children together and they need a father. Maybe you have a difficult financial situation, and your husband’s support here will not hurt at all. There is a possibility that you do not want to look bad in the eyes of others, and you need (as you believe) to live up to some image of you. Before you decide to return everything back, please understand your own motives. This will greatly help you in your future relationship with your husband.

How can this help?

If you understand yourself and listen to yourself, you will stop reacting to any minor troubles that will arise in your relationship. Somewhere you will be able to endure it, because you will know WHY you are doing it. It is necessary to understand that there is danger here. If you are confused about why you want to reunite your family, then patience will simply suck the energy out of you. And after some time you will again tell yourself: “Stop! I don't want this anymore! There may be another situation. You will simply “die” psychologically, i.e. stop feeling. And you will endlessly convince yourself that you did exactly the right thing. And somewhere deep inside you will understand that you are lying to yourself. So answer the question: “Why do you want your husband to come back after a divorce?” Answer honestly. And you will save your nerves, energy and time. Well, now the second half of the dilemma. It is necessary to absolutely clearly understand that you broke up for a reason. There were very serious disagreements between you. You both ran away from solving the problem. Everyone ran away in their own direction. But still, now you want to be together again. Only now everything is different. You are no longer the same person you were before the divorce. No! You are DIFFERENT. You've changed. Each of you tried to live separately. You know that you can handle one without the other. The problem is that you may choose to solve the problems that arise in your family by running away from each other. And the more you practice this escape, the more you will distance yourself emotionally. Before you return the family to its previous course, you must AGREE with each other. It's not just a word. You must agree with each other. If you don't do this, then consider that you wasted your time and energy. You hoped and made plans in vain. Your dreams will be useless.

The question is, WHAT should you agree on?

For this purpose, it was necessary to write everything that you were not happy with each other in marriage. For each point of dissatisfaction, you will have to go through and come to an agreement. Agree on HOW you will behave towards each other in conflict situations. Who will give in to whom and when? How will forgiveness happen? Who will have to do what for whom. Are you willing to change? And this means listening and hearing each other. In fact, this is hard labor within the individual. And the big BUT is that this work needs to be done by two people. If someone does not make concessions, does not keep their promise, then great disappointment will fill the soul of those who truly believed in the possibility of family reunification. It is not enough to agree once. You will need to fulfill your contract EVERY day. And only then, after SEVERAL years, forgiveness will be deserved. And it will be possible to say with confidence that all these years of suffering, disappointment, and humiliation were not wasted. Now there is a family that cannot be divided by anything. A family that knows the value of living together. A family in which there is no and cannot be betrayal. This is a very difficult path - family reunification. This is why people find new partners. They believe that now it will be possible to create a DIFFERENT relationship. And very often they repeat the same mistakes in them. But that is another story…

Is it possible to get my husband back?

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How to understand your ex-husband what he wants. Women's website www.InMoment.ru

The reasons for divorcing your husband can be completely different circumstances: from his infidelity to his unwillingness to provide for his family. The initiators of separation are most often women, but sometimes men as well. In this case, the fair sex takes the breakup very hard, secretly hoping that things can still get better. But how can you understand what your ex-husband is thinking about when he constantly finds reasons to chat, meet or come to visit. Can he be trusted and will he betray him again?

How to understand your ex. What does he want

After a breakup, as a rule, communication between people who were once in love with each other stops. Each of them needs time to come to their senses, get used to the changes in life, analyze everything that happened, and understand themselves. Women try to understand where they were wrong, what they did wrong, what they did wrong, even if their husband cheated on them. At this time, it is very important not to overdo it with soul-searching and searching for all imaginable and inconceivable shortcomings in yourself. People are imperfect, and not all troubles are a person's fault. It is very important to allow others to take responsibility for their own mistakes, rather than taking the blame for them. Therefore, you don’t need to immediately believe what your ex-husband says when he appears on the doorstep again.

Very often, as soon as a representative of the sex gets used to the fact that her life is changing its course, she has new problems and responsibilities that require attention and strength, the ex begins to constantly remind himself. If you have children together, this can be attributed to his desire to be with them, but when he meets every now and then, wherever you go, calls with or without reason, tries to establish communication, although you broke up several months ago, he pursues his own goals. But they are not always, unfortunately, associated with his repentance or desire to improve and become the man you will love again, learn to trust and be proud of.

Rarely does a separation go painlessly and with the consent of both parties. That’s why it’s so difficult to establish friendly communication after it and you just want to forget everything, like a bad dream. If it is not possible to avoid meetings, your ex-husband’s attempts to see you as often as possible may indicate his desire to improve the relationship. Don’t rush to draw conclusions and don’t rush to meet him. Focus on your feelings. If meetings with him make you irritated, angry or sad, ask him not to bother you so often or for a while, explain that you are not ready yet. If you are not in the mood to communicate with him at all, say so. Don’t give him hope, don’t try to be overly mannered when a person doesn’t understand the hints that he’s not welcome at all.

If you leave yourself a chance to try to build a relationship with him again, and he agrees to leave you alone for a while, and then starts calling again, asking to meet and talk with him, do not refuse. Even if the relationship does not develop into something big, at least you will no longer bitterly remember the years you lived together or regret that you did not try to give the relationship another chance. After all, it is so important not to harbor resentment in your soul, not to torture yourself needlessly, but to treat this page in life as a useful experience that allows you to look at the world around you and your personal life in a new way.

In the same case, when the man himself decided to break off the relationship and after a while is looking for a meeting with you, it means that he began to doubt the decision made. Don't think that he will quickly offer to live together. At the moment he is trying to understand whether he did the right thing, whether he was in no hurry, or whether he made a mistake. If you want him back, give him a reason to stay. Show him that you understand your mistakes, have corrected yourself and are ready to build a relationship together and accept him for who he is, without trying to correct him or criticizing him for any reason.

When he calls only when he is in a very cheerful state, after drinking several glasses of alcohol, he appears for the night, and then disappears again, without explaining anything, unfortunately, for him the ex-girlfriend is just a convenient option. He's not going back. Everything suits him. He spends his free time with friends, relaxing and minding his own business, but when he wants to feel care and affection, he remembers his ex. He hasn’t changed, hasn’t admitted his mistakes, and isn’t going to change anything in his life. There is no need to talk about any feelings here. It will not be possible to return him, and to restore good relations either. If you don’t want to feel like an “alternate” airfield, try to explain to him as quickly as possible that you have a new life and there is no place for him in it. Have pity on yourself, let him go and allow yourself to enjoy life, and not depend on the whim of a man who simply uses you for his own personal interests.

• If your husband left the family because of another woman, but does not refuse to communicate with you, this does not mean at all that he still loves you. Take a closer look at him and his behavior. In the case when he promises to come help and does not come, without even bothering to call and warn that he will not come, his feelings have cooled down, and only out of the kindness of his heart he agrees to help you. Don't waste the best years of your life on him, hoping that he still loves you and will come back soon. Forget about him and move on with your own personal life. But if his new passion does not want your communication or she has some problems, and he prefers to help you, then everything is not so smooth in his new family. If you have managed to forgive him and want to return him at any cost, surround him with care, become an understanding, affectionate woman with whom he has so many connections. And very soon he will return home. They don't give up on good things...

• Your ex-husband constantly calls and asks how you are living, if you need his help, he definitely dreams of returning home. So it depends only on your desire when this happens. But don't agree to take him back too quickly. Let him realize that you respect yourself and are giving him one last chance, so he should appreciate it. Otherwise, he will perceive your surrender as his personal victory and decide that you are crazy about him and will forgive everything he does. You must respect yourself, otherwise in a few years everything may happen again.
• If a man continues to take care of you, pamper you with small gifts, and has become much more affectionate and attentive than when you lived together, he is again trying to conquer you. The ex-husband who was caught cheating in this way tries to make amends, hoping that everything can still be corrected. And the man you broke up with because he disappointed you tries to convince you that you were in a hurry to break up, and demonstrates how good he is and deserves your love.
• When conversations with your ex-husband on the phone drag on, and the calls themselves are heard more and more often, and he repeats how pleased he was to hear from you, he dreams of being nearby and renewing the relationship.
• Trying to do things together that unite you does not indicate his desire to return. He may still have feelings for you, but not strong enough to renew the relationship. In this way, he controls you, creating the illusion that he has everything under control and not wanting to give up the feeling of stability that you gave him.
• When any conversations between you, one way or another, come down to discussing why you broke up, he has not yet realized why this happened and wants to understand how to get everything back on track. A man's pride does not allow him to admit his own mistakes. Only you can understand this situation. If you need him, make it clear that you don't mind trying to start over and subtly hint where he was wrong. If you want to get rid of him forever, stop communicating altogether.
• If he often asks your mutual friends how you live, who you communicate with, he is interested in learning about your status. On the one hand, it could be ordinary jealousy, when feelings have not yet cooled down, and in this case there is every chance of returning him, and on the other hand, it can be a sense of ownership, as they say neither to themselves nor to people.

Do not rush to draw conclusions until you are sure that your ex-husband has truly realized his mistake and is ready to correct himself. Don't try to find out the truth by trying to get answers from him. Observe him, test him and only then make a decision: whether you get along with him again or is it better to limit your communication forever.

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Do ex-husbands return to their wives after divorce?

Today, divorce is not new. People disperse all the time. The reasons for this are very different - from everyday problems to betrayal.

What happens after is a purely individual matter. Having received the status of “ex”, some women fall into despair, others quickly recover, find a new companion, others remain lonely, continuing to maintain good relations with their ex and hope that he will return.

At the very moment of separation, the wife is confident that she will never take her husband back again. But after a while, emotions calm down, regret comes, and with it the question creeps in: do husbands return to their ex-wives after a divorce?

The answer is positive, and life partners return in more than 50% of cases. But how expedient this is still needs to be clarified.

Naive psychology of adult men

Men who decide to get a divorce believe that they will cope just fine without their significant other. But, judging by statistics, the number of people who left for a good reason and built a relationship with a new passion is very small. The overwhelming majority want to prove something to someone through their actions - their spouse, mother, friends, themselves.

Ex-husbands go through three main stages after divorce:

1. At the first stage, the chosen one considers himself a male, he is full of confidence and independence. He awakens to the desire to conquer the highest peaks and win the most beautiful girls. Now he doesn’t regret one bit that he broke with his past life.
2. The second stage is calming. The uncontrollable desire for sexual pleasures with beautiful ladies disappears, I want to be alone, to relax.
3. The third stage is rethinking and awareness of what happened. There is regret about breaking up with your beloved, and a desire to establish relationships again. At the same time, the person understands that the period of youth and fullness of strength is behind. He walked around, felt what it was like to be unmarried again and... missed him. According to statistics, it is at the third stage that the ex-husband returns to the family. Or strives to return. Everything will depend on how acute the conflict was, and whether the spouse can forgive and accept back.

When do exes come back?

When the faithful will be pulled back depends on what kind of conflict there was. For example, if the breakup occurred because of a mistress, then expect the first calls within six months. Of course, it is impossible to accurately predict. But if we take a typical situation - getting used to each other with a new person, identifying shortcomings, making comparisons - then perhaps your chosen one will run away even earlier.

If the reason for the separation is the insolvency of the head of the family, then it will take him less time to return. Men tolerate their defeats very poorly and when they realize that they are not able to support their family, they sometimes disappear without thinking about the consequences. It will take time to reflect and realize the mistake. How much depends on the individual.

Also, the husband may return out of pity for his wife. Let's say he is a good person and, having divorced his wife, continues to visit her and provide moral support. It is not easy for such a person to see the suffering and torment of a loved one; he strives to help somehow. It seems to him that the only consolation for his ex here will only be a return. That is, sacrificing oneself. Then he will say with a clear conscience: “I did everything I could,” without thinking that he is turning life together into torment.

The fastest to return are those who hid behind the reason - to breathe a breath of freedom. Even statistics show that such individuals always run back. The period of “living for yourself” quickly turns into a test - a man gets acquainted with everyday trifles. He cooks for himself, irons, cleans, does laundry, but, as a rule, he is bad at creating home comfort. Realizing that the idea was ridiculous, the companion asks his wife for forgiveness. But here the passion needs to think carefully. The spouse can run like this endlessly.

Why are they coming back?

Ex-husbands return after divorce for the following reasons:

• The bad recedes into the background. There comes a period when grievances are dulled, the soul is freed from negative feelings towards the ex, and forgiveness comes.
• Spouses rethink the mistakes they made in marriage, analyze the situation, and reevaluate the motives and consequences of the breakup.
• Love that, even after parting, does not give rest.
• Children. When common concerns related to the well-being of the child bring them together, the spouses may decide that a new stage in the relationship has arrived. However, this is a misconception. After all, the knot of conflict that served to break it remained untied.
• Old connections are severed, and new ones are not born. It happens that after a separation, a husband cannot start a new romance for a long time. And no matter how strange it may seem, the wife becomes an outlet here both sexually and morally.
• Comparing the new one with the old one. A divorced partner may be too demanding when he leaves for someone else. He will also constantly compare his passions, which will make his mistress a loser.

It also happens that relationships are restored due to several of the listed reasons. But at the same time, the desire to renew ties must be mutual. If only one side wants this, then it is clear that it will be difficult to establish contact.

According to statistics, most cases when a husband wants to return back after a divorce occur on the initiative of the men themselves.

The perpetrators of the breakup can earn forgiveness in half the cases, but only on condition that they are able to convince their passion that they have changed and realized their guilt. Men are luckier in terms of receiving forgiveness - wives forgive their spouses much more often than they forgive themselves. Especially when it comes to cheating.

Men's pride is much more sensitive, and problem solving is more categorical than that of women. Therefore, if the culprit of the conflict is the spouse, there is less chance of the partner returning.

But the possibility cannot be ruled out. A lady needs to find wisdom within herself and use different tactics to get what she wants. Without losing your dignity.

By the way, the most inappropriate attempt to return marriage is one that humiliates women's dignity. For example, a woman suffered from the betrayal of her beloved, but, seeing that he is not doing anything to earn forgiveness, she initiates the return of her husband herself. Moreover, he chooses not the most worthy methods. This not only reduces the chances of restoring the marriage, but also greatly undermines the reputation of a beautiful person. And the reason for this behavior is low self-esteem and self-doubt. In such situations, former companions, if they return to their wives, do not do so for long.

Does a woman need her ex back?

If, after a breakup, you granted forgiveness to your partner and decided to take him back, take a break and honestly answer these questions:

• Do you have a guarantee that your companion has changed and will not repeat past mistakes? If so, which one? You must understand that the probability is in equal proportions - 50/50. Therefore, prepare yourself not only for the honeymoon, but also for not very pleasant surprises.
• Why do you need this relationship? If you are one hundred percent sure that your husband is your soulmate and you can’t live without him, then it’s your business. But if in doubt, don't rush. Perhaps divorce is a chance for a new life? Perhaps your spouse never appreciated your feelings and care for him? And if he was an avid reveler or an alcoholic, wouldn’t he return to his old life after a while?
• What is the purpose of renewing the relationship? Maybe you have blurred priorities or a fear of being alone? And he, for example, sees you as a housekeeper and nothing more. Here even fortune telling is unnecessary - you will part at the same point as last time.
• Does the end justify the means? Perhaps you decided to get back together not because you love and want to be together, but for the sake of the children, for example. You, as a good mother, have set the goal of raising them in a full-fledged family, no matter what. But, unfortunately, the following can happen - you will become psychologically dead, your feelings will atrophy. You will persuade yourself to stay, to endure a little longer, but deep down you know that you are deceiving yourself. The only excuse for torment will be the thought that you are suffering for the sake of a “high” goal - for the sake of the children. This behavior is fundamentally wrong. As a result, you will not live your life, and as you know, it tends to “pass by” quickly.

How to understand that his intention is sincere?

• A once loved one is trying to awaken in your memory the best moments from your life together. Not verbally, but effectively.
• Shows that he has changed, talks about those things that he rethought during separation.
• Maximizes what you love and minimizes what you don't. This applies to all things and actions.
• Confesses his fear of losing you again.

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How long did it take for your husband to want to return to the family from another woman?

What will increase your chances or reduce them to zero. Your husband left for another woman. Before your eyes there is a picture of your life, crumbling piece by piece, like a children's puzzle. A strange feeling of emptiness, torn by questions. How to quickly get your husband back from his family? How to save this picture? How to return what is gone forever? To deal with trouble at night... Another rash decision is to act immediately, in a hot head. Walk around the house, put things in order, wash the dishes. These things can be done automatically, they do not require stress, and help to calm down. You shouldn’t throw away his things, much less spoil and break them. Better take a bath, drink a sedative and try to sleep. Be sure to change your bed linen, even if you have no energy at all - this is important. Where to run, why run? To achieve a goal, it is not enough to just go, you need to choose the right direction.

How long does it take for ex-husbands to start trying to get their family back?

In the first months after a divorce, regardless of who initiated the divorce, the ex-husband enjoys his freedom.

Attention

The psychology of men is such that at this time almost no one returns back to the family.

Important

They find many positive aspects in breaking up with their ex-wife.

Nobody asks about your salary, you can meet and drink beer with friends as much as you like, meet new girls. If a husband left his wife for his mistress, then he enjoys the relationship with her and believes that he did absolutely the right thing.

But sometimes, having received the long-awaited freedom, a man begins to bother his ex-wife with endless calls, reproaches, and plays on her feelings.

Some people try to offer their help when the woman does not ask for it, they try to find a reason for meetings.

The ex-husband seems to be trying to sit on two chairs at the same time.

He is ready to try to start over, but he is not sure whether his ex-wife will want this. He takes a wait-and-see attitude. He needs time to prepare for a responsible conversation with his wife. If a man has left for another woman, then over time he begins to compare his wife and his mistress.

He develops a feeling of confusion and nostalgia, especially if he has been married for several decades.

A man comes to understand how much he loves his wife and children.

He finds it unpleasant to hear his relatives and friends talk about his ridiculous act.

When does the spouse decide to return? After a year and a half, the man becomes a hostage to his new position.

In family psychology, this period is usually called the “seventeenth month syndrome.” This stage is characterized by the appearance of sexual disorders, depression, and decreased interest in life.

Returning husbands...

Knowing all the needs of a man, she will give him everything he needed, but did not receive from you, and will even exceed his wildest expectations.

Her advantage is that she knows perfectly well everything about your shortcomings and mistakes that you have made.

Your husband was attached to her for a very long time, living with you. Now you have a high chance of switching places. Even if he wants to come back, are you ready to wait until he makes up his mind? The ghost of hope Whether the husband will return to the family from his mistress, you will understand after a while.

If he is delaying the divorce for unknown reasons, then the decision is not final.

A signal that it’s time for you to act will be his reluctance to talk about her with friends or colleagues, or irritation that breaks through in the conversation.

Strategy Collect all your reserves: cunning, charm, connections. This is where girlfriends come in handy to discuss the scoundrel and scoundrel with a clear plan of action.

Quickly return your husband to the family - the mission is possible

Were you born and living to suffer? You must realize that you are a self-sufficient person, worthy of respect and understanding. If life is completely unbearable and you want to change something in it, change it. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “I want?” So do this. There is always something most important. In general, whatever you want in life, hence the goals, and the means, and the people who appear at the right time, who help, and the paths that open up.

And if you want to be with your husband with all your heart, be there. Do whatever you want and don’t listen to anyone, don’t explain anything to anyone, no one has the right to decide for you how and with whom to live, or interfere in your life, including your family life.

It is imperative to sort things out with your husband calmly, without reproaches, threats, requests or accusations.

This is what mature adults do. Tell him everything, start with what you value and love him for, if you still feel it and want him back.

We wipe the nose of our husband’s mistress: how to return him to the family, advice from a psychologist

You deserve to be loved, happy, adored, respected.

You are very good, you have a lot of positive qualities, there is something to love and respect you for, and simply for the fact that you exist.

Use a sense of humor, it helps to get out of many situations, defuse the situation, establish contact with a person, switch to the positive in general, laughter actually makes us happier.

Remember this expression - whether a person is happy or not depends on what he himself thinks about it? Think about it too.

After all, a person himself can influence how he will live. You just need to choose the right life guidelines. I advise you not to blame yourself for anything and not to look for reasons to justify yourself - you are not guilty of anything, and if you make excuses, the person will act as if he was truly guilty and feels it.

Do husbands return to their ex-wives after divorce?

A little subtle flattery won't hurt! Theater of Operations You have agreed on the date and time, now prepare for his visit.

While he is tinkering with the furniture, prepare the food he loves.

No complicated recipes: fry potatoes with mushrooms, or serve a chop with salad.

Tea and sausage sandwiches are also suitable if he likes them and is short on time.

If you plan to help him with work, order pizza in advance.

At the table it's time to talk. Ask how things are going at work or with mutual friends. Give him the opportunity to relax and understand that there is an opportunity to return without scandals and start over.

Fatal mistakes You have forgiven your husband and are ready to do anything to get him back.

But pain and resentment can push you to actions that will reduce your chances to zero.

Scandals Loud, offensive words will cut off all his paths to retreat.

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Do husbands return after divorce?

It would seem that divorce is an extreme measure, after which there can be no talk of restoring the family. But, according to statistics, every third man after a divorce would like to return to his ex-wife, and every fourth man does so. Why do men return to their families after divorce?

A few years after marriage, many men begin to feel burdened by the bonds of marriage. Some husbands declare that they are incapable of family life, that they are not ready for a large number of responsibilities, or even strive to find adventures on the side.

Problems can begin even after a couple of decades of marriage. When going through a midlife crisis, a man sometimes believes that his family doesn’t understand him, he wasted half his life, and his wife has changed a lot, not for the better.

In these cases, men often choose a drastic solution - divorce. However, if the marriage is married, then divorce is virtually impossible for a believing man, only in the event of his wife’s betrayal.

According to psychologists, a man experiences divorce more easily than a woman. They have virtually no “post-divorce syndrome,” when separation from their wife is acutely experienced. However, the much-desired new life that men who decide to get a divorce strive for often disappoints their expectations.

Sometimes after a divorce, not even six months have passed before the ex-husband begins trying to return to his wife. Sometimes people leave for ex-wives from new families: there all the difficult stages of family life need to be gone through again, whereas in the old family much has been settled long ago and each other’s habits have been studied.

Only after leaving their family and returning to a single life do many men realize how much they loved their wife and children. “We don’t keep what we have, and when we lose it, we cry.”

In the male community, returning to a wife is often secretly frowned upon; it is considered a sign of weakness, which is why many men never dare to return, although they suffer from depression and longing for their family.

Pavlov's dog

Do we often think about how important the established order of things is for us? Men quickly get used to the way of life established in the family. Next to his wife, it is easier and clearer for him, he knows what will lead to praise and what can lead to conflict.

The wife becomes a “life friend” about whom the husband knows almost everything (and who knows him just as well).

It is sometimes difficult to refuse a three-course meal prepared the way a man likes it, traditional walks with his son, and even his favorite sofa, from which it is so comfortable to watch football!

Calculating Males

In many cases, a man is connected with a woman not only by a common feeling, but also by joint property. Then the husband may return because it is expensive to pay for rent, but it was possible to live in the ex-wife’s apartment practically for free. And with a joint budget, life was better than on one salary.

Whether or not to accept a man who clearly needs to make his own existence easier is up to the ex-wife to decide. Such marriages can last a long time, but often there is no happiness in them.

The same is true when the husband is dependent on the relatives of his ex-wife. He may work for one of them, or seek their protection.

Sometimes after a divorce a man is left without a good job and cannot find a similar position. In such cases, sometimes a decision is made to return: for the sake of a good salary, for the sake of connections.

Dispersal field

Some men prefer to live “on two fronts”: they feel good in their new life, but they continue to perceive their old family as a place where they can always return if things don’t work out.

They may spend several days a week with the family, be interested in the personal life of their ex-wife (and even be jealous), and promise that they will return soon.

If the wife still loves her husband, this life can continue for years. She will try to please him, to be “ideal,” and he will take it for granted. Most likely, the ex-husband will not return “for good.” Why, if he is already satisfied with everything?

Before you start trying to get back together with your ex-husband, you should ask yourself a few questions:

• What do I need from this relationship?
• What didn’t suit me in family life? Is there a chance this will change?
• Do I want to be together with this particular person, or is it just important for me “not to be alone”?
• How do I see our future together?
• How will conflicts be resolved in the family?

If it turns out that your fear of being left alone, the fear of not meeting “your” person again, is telling you, it’s better to wait a while before resuming your relationship. Longing after a breakup is quite natural, and new love will come in due time.

You also need to be careful when it is obvious that your ex-husband does not need you, that it is convenient and beneficial for him to be in the family. Are you ready to spend the best years of your life with a man who sees you not as the woman he loves, but as a housekeeper, sponsor or relative of an important boss?

If you are firm in your decision to get back together with your ex, then you should take several steps:

1. Respect yourself. Do not humiliate yourself in front of your husband, do not cry or beg.
2. Change, at least a little. Get a new haircut, sign up for a fitness class, treat yourself. Show your husband that you are a beautiful woman who attracts attention and who you want to be with.
3. Take your time. Give your husband time to think. Talk to him politely, friendly, ask how things are going, offer help (but everything in moderation).
4. Don't blame yourself for what happened. It’s like you’re starting your story all over again; there’s no need to stir up the past over and over again.
5. If possible, from time to time attend interesting events together, go to a cafe for lunch, in a word, remember how your romance began.
6. Hint to mutual friends that you don’t hold a grudge against your ex-husband, that he is still important to you, that you treat him well and appreciate him. Don't overdo it! There is no need to show once again how much you suffer and how bad you feel without him.

A second marriage to the same person is not a rare occurrence. This is an opportunity to take into account your mistakes and learn to appreciate what you almost lost.

Video: Ex-husband, ex-wife

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If the husband returned to the family » Everything for those who care

Keeping your family together is always very difficult. In difficult situations, most women give up and decide to get a divorce, without learning to find a common language with their husband or to drive away their mistress. Over time, when emotions have already subsided, they begin to realize that they made such a decision in vain. So the question arises: what can I do to get my husband back into the family? If the spouses separated not so long ago, then the chances of his return are much greater. Therefore, if you decide to get back together with your spouse, you should not wait for time. But first you need to decide what pushes a man to leave his family.

Reasons for husband's leaving the family

When a man and a woman decide to formalize their relationship and start a family, they hope that life together will be happy. But things don't always happen as planned. Sometimes it happens that people break up and then get back together. And they have to rebuild their lives, forgive each other’s mistakes, and look at situations differently.

My husband wants to return to his family - what to do?

And now we come to the most important question of this conversation: why did the man who left decide to return, and what should a woman do in such a case?

Reasons for returning to the family from a mistress

So, what made your betrothed return back from his new chosen one? There are several versions on this topic: the first, and perhaps the most basic, is disappointment in one’s mistress. In fact, the man left the family for a woman who is not yet burdened with all the domestic red tape, and is always ready for a new relationship, presenting herself in all her glory. However, such openness and readiness sometimes hides not the most pleasant or necessary moments.

A month ago, when I had really lost my relationship with the one I loved, I decided to try to live with my ex-husband. I thought that I could live with him, he convinced me that he had changed, looked at many things with different eyes, and loved my daughter and me (I disagreed with him because of his difficult character, and he didn’t mind going on the side).

You see, I fell in love! I want a new life! I want to have new children! It's still possible for me to repeat it! - he said to his wife. - Sorry! And please let her go.

The wife took a time out, thought and said:

Okay, go away. But not now, but in six months. I wish you nothing but the best. And if this is love, then it will not fade away, the girl will wait for you, and everyone will be only happy. Don’t meet for these six months, let’s live as if nothing happened.

Today you are sure that you are doing everything right. I am convinced that people like you will not be abandoned. You have no doubt that he is yours forever, the only one in the world capable of listening, understanding, sympathizing, reassuring, supporting, protecting. This is today, and tomorrow... he can leave.

Marriage is a long swim in a cramped cabin. And it’s natural that nerves sometimes give way.

Perhaps the reason was a banal little thing - finding out who the real Winner of Eurovision 2011 is, or discussing the family budget, but now - the man left. Just don't panic! Could it happen that you no longer need him? Maybe you are simply not yet able to understand that his departure is yours. Take a break, think while you have time. But, if there is still something to fight for, then remember that, most likely, you will have a chance to fix everything. Because husbands most often return.

After he leaves, you “tear your hair out” and are tormented by questions:

• why did this happen to me?
• Is he better off with her than with me?
• will he come back or not?

Why did he leave? You can and should analyze your life with him, look for reasons in yourself, in him, in yours... Such an analysis will not hurt. Sooner or later, life forces everyone to look back on the years they have lived, to experience the bitter feeling of parting with youth, with love. There is a need to reconsider your priorities.

Comment on the article "My husband left. Will he come back or not?"

“You can’t step into the same river twice”... I have a situation, but on the contrary, I want my husband to take into account everything that happened in the past, I can’t be just his wife, I want everything to be fair. It’s just that in the future I will be able to make another man happy...
If it doesn’t work out, then let me run out of happiness in this world, it’s like it’s useless to renew it... this is the wrong person, not mine...
In principle, I could live on an animal habit, have sex without respect, and pity, but I don’t want to lie to myself.

either he will return or not: 50% to 50%.

Total 8 messages .

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I'm fine. That is, against the background of how it happens with others - it’s good, but in general it’s bad. Every day someone gets divorced, I'm not original. And the man who initiated the breakup is not God knows what a rarity. And children, even small and very, very cute ones, cease to interest their fathers - and this is not news, it happens. And if you compare it with what could have been, everything is good. I have my own apartment, I don’t have to go anywhere and recreate my life. In September I will go to work, where they are waiting for me...

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The husband left. Will he come back or not? I want to get my ex-husband back, help! IMHO, after a breakup it is impossible to return what was before, you can only start over, repeat (with slightly different people). In this case, there is no need to try to return what is no longer there.

Many partners get back together after breaking up, having experienced other relationships, become disappointed, realizing their mistakes and how dear and close the person they broke up with is. The long-term existence of such a happy, reunited union is possible only on the condition that both understand, sincerely forgive each other, both try to avoid previous mistakes, trust, preserve those feelings that exist, cherish, respect each other. You need to think everything over yourself, analyze the reason for the separation and your desire to renew the relationship with this particular person, make a decision - perhaps he performed a certain function next to you, gave you experience and there was no longer any point in being together. But no matter what happens now, you can always take a step yourself to be with him, from a psychological point of view, a lot depends on you, on your behavior, desires, plans, because we ourselves create and organize the space around us, attract events, people your own thoughts, behavior, statements, desires and attitudes, even your appearance. If you want to be with your husband, you feel that there is something between you that is worth trying for - act on your own, don’t be afraid of anything, don’t listen to other people’s advice. Never expect that someone will make you happier - do what you want, according to your own ideas about happiness. Any issues related to the relationship in a couple should be discussed with the other half. Only the two of you can come to a common opinion, develop the necessary new models of behavior, and change tactics. Because you both participate in this process and one person must know how the other feels, he himself may not understand it. In the problems of a couple, there is always a role for both, we are treated the way we allow. Building a relationship according to your ideals is work, although the pay is quite decent - mutual understanding, harmony in all areas, love, sincere joint emotions. If possible, develop them, add previously missing emotions, impressions, words, meetings, events. In any case, you should always talk to a man about everything (silence breaks destinies, as Paulo Coelho says). Be sure to talk to him sincerely and openly about everything that worries you, not from the position of a victim, but from the position of a mature person. Let it be a romantic dinner, arrange it first of all for yourself. Maybe in a conversation it will turn out that you are close and dear to each other and it will be possible to establish an emotional connection again - this is precisely the magic thread that keeps couples together for many years (not material wealth, not a sense of duty, not property acquired together, and not even children, but real feelings for each other). Tell him how you feel about him, how dear, loved, valuable he and your relationship are to you, what you personally want, simply and calmly say it, don’t ask for anything, don’t demand, don’t make excuses. Love is a feeling that makes us happy; it cannot be begged for, just like respect, attention, warmth. But loved ones must know how we feel about them, how we value them. Remember what he loves, what he would dream of doing, what makes him happy and gives him pleasure, and organize situations so that, if possible, he does all this, thanks to you, together with you. Always do something pleasant and pleasing to both of you - it is the shared experience of emotions that unites people. Radiate joy, positivity and they will definitely return to you. Give and receive kindness, affection, care - this is the key to harmony in all areas of relationships. There are no ideal people and ideal relationships, everything is in your hands, whatever you want, create the same (not with this person, but with another, worthy one), you will succeed, because everything around us, our whole life, its circumstances depend on our perception of them, from ourselves. It is we ourselves, through our own efforts, who shape our little world and program our future. Think about it, how you want to see it, this is how it will be: if you expect bad things - it will happen, believe and wait with all your soul for only good things - they will definitely come into your life. Just don’t let your feeling of happiness and fullness of life depend on the presence of other people/persons in it, never dissolve in anyone, maintain your psychological integrity. You deserve to be loved and happy, without doing anything special for this, without deserving, without suffering. Perhaps the outcome of your meeting will be different, in any case for the better for you, you will understand this. Good luck to you, harmony and love. If you want to understand yourself and the situation, write to the chat, I’ll be happy to help, everything is confidential. I will be grateful for your assessment.

Good afternoon. I was interested in your answer “Many partners get back together after breaking up, having experienced other relationships, being disappointed, realizing their own problems...” to the question http://www.. Can I discuss this answer with you?

Now the percentage of successful and long marriages has decreased significantly. Every day the media announces new divorces and separations of such seemingly wonderful couples. And even in our own home, we find ourselves thinking about all the delights of freedom. What happens, the risk of divorce hangs over every home?! But is the decision to leave the family always balanced and deliberate? How often is it just an impulse that breaks destinies and relationships built over the years? Is it possible to overcome the impulse and return to the family, to the wife?

From the people

They say that relationships are like a finely crafted porcelain bowl that cannot be repaired once cracked. Like, the chip will always be noticeable and therefore the relationship will no longer be the same. The departure of a spouse primarily causes strong resentment, which is difficult to erase from memory. At the level of reflexes, the readiness for a quarrel, scandal and encore parting accumulates. If you leave your family once, you might lose your pass here. Is the game worth the candle? What should you do if a couple divorces in the heat of the moment and regrets it?

As time passes

It is worth assessing the situation when feelings have calmed down somewhat and you can think sensibly. Alas, many manage to start a new family during this time. In this case, returning to your ex-wife is fraught with pain for several women. The current wife must decide on her attitude towards infidelity. Is she ready to forgive this and accept the prodigal husband into the family? The situation, of course, is difficult and nervous, but despair cannot be allowed if there is at least a chance to normalize relations.

Psychologists say

Perhaps some advice from people in white coats will seem like demagoguery, but in essence the truth is calm. You need to become a friend to your ex. If you understand his motivation and his desires, then you can establish contact and communicate on neutral topics. Men (as well as women) have a negative attitude towards entreaties and open flattery. You can feel sorry for a person who sincerely wants you back, but is it worth wanting him?

Often marriage makes a woman too domestic. A breakup can be seen as an incentive to change, dye your hair, get a new haircut, change your wardrobe. Even the great Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin said wonderful words that “those we don’t like like us.” So why not repeat the technique and feign some indifference to the object of your passion? The ex-husband must feel that his wife may slip away and want to win her again. If the marriage lasted a long time, then the wife has all the trump cards in her hands, she knows her husband inside and out, understands him and guesses his desires. Subservience is not the answer, but understanding is the right course of action when a husband wants to return to his wife after a divorce.

It is forbidden!

1. If spouses are in a state of confrontation, then it is not advisable to cause pity, put pressure on sore spots and constantly be upset. It’s natural to worry about a breakup, but constant tearfulness kills the woman in a woman.
2. You cannot blackmail your spouse, complain to his parents and friends, or threaten him with ruinous alimony. Is it worth losing your nerves once again if your ex-husband doesn’t care about them? This will make him not want to return, but he may begin to hate his wife.
3. A wife cannot use her children, blackmail them with them, or turn them against her husband.
4. You cannot claim rights to your spouse if he is only thinking of returning to the family. The period of separation is a time to calmly think about the relationship. If you suddenly burst into this gap with claims, you can completely break up the family.

Steps towards each other

It is worth returning to your ex only when it is clearly visible that a mistake was made and the breakup was hasty. Emotions must go away, negativity must disappear. If the quarrel was trivial, then the reason may be completely forgotten. There is no need to remember it and once again try to put everything in its place.

Past memories will help your wife establish contact. Retrieve old photos and videos, take out letters and remember old friends. Surely, over the years of marriage, the husband and wife have forgotten their former selves, and in order to save the family, you can try to remember everything.

You can and should have dates at any age. Do you remember how we ran to each other in our free time? Let it be so now. You can save your family if you revive your feelings. Even if the old passion does not flare up, tenderness and sincere warmth will awaken. It’s worth reliving the old emotions to re-evaluate the relationship.

It's hard to get over a breakup, but it's even harder to decide to get back into a relationship. If the ex-spouse wants to return, there can be a lot of reasons. In fact, this is the moment when you need to decide to further work on yourself. Is it worth accepting a prodigal spouse into the family? Yes, it’s worth it if you clearly understand that this is the best choice. There are many reasons for divorce, but not all of them indicate betrayal. Was there betrayal? Maybe prolonged stagnation in the intimate sphere is to blame? Was there a long period of depression? What was the signal for its start?

Men themselves sometimes cannot understand their motives for divorce. It is no coincidence that a third of the clients of practicing psychologists are men after divorce. They also need to talk it out, but they do not go to friends and family with problems, because they want to receive a qualified answer and explain their actions.

To summarize all of the above, marriage is, first of all, a union that is based on trust and communication. Every topic needs discussion, but not idle talk. You can save your family if you pay attention in time to your spouse’s depression, symptoms of sexual disorders, decreased interest in life, lethargy, apathy, and suicidal tendencies.

According to statistics, the peak of these symptoms can be recorded in the first, seventh and tenth years of marriage. The realization of the wrongness of divorce occurs on the second anniversary after the official separation. Psychologists called this period “seventeenth month syndrome.”

The reasons for divorcing your husband can be completely different circumstances: from his infidelity to his unwillingness to provide for his family. The initiators of separation are most often women, but sometimes men as well. In this case, the fair sex takes the breakup very hard, secretly hoping that things can still get better. But how can you understand what your ex-husband is thinking about when he constantly finds reasons to chat, meet or come to visit. Can he be trusted and will he betray him again?

How to understand your ex. What does he want

After a breakup, as a rule, communication between people who were once in love with each other stops. Each of them needs time to come to their senses, get used to the changes in life, analyze everything that happened, and understand themselves. Women try to understand where they were wrong, what they did wrong, what they did wrong, even if their husband cheated on them. At this time, it is very important not to overdo it with soul-searching and searching for all imaginable and inconceivable shortcomings in yourself. People are imperfect, and not all troubles are a person's fault. It is very important to allow others to take responsibility for their own mistakes, rather than taking the blame for them. Therefore, you don’t need to immediately believe what your ex-husband says when he appears on the doorstep again.

Very often, as soon as a representative of the sex gets used to the fact that her life is changing its course, she has new problems and responsibilities that require attention and strength, the ex begins to constantly remind himself. If you have children together, this can be attributed to his desire to be with them, but when he meets every now and then, wherever you go, calls with or without reason, tries to establish communication, although you broke up several months ago, he pursues his own goals. But they are not always, unfortunately, associated with his repentance or desire to improve and become the man you will love again, learn to trust and be proud of.

Rarely does a separation go painlessly and with the consent of both parties. That’s why it’s so difficult to establish friendly communication after it and you just want to forget everything, like a bad dream. If it is not possible to avoid meetings, your ex-husband’s attempts to see you as often as possible may indicate his desire to improve the relationship. Don’t rush to draw conclusions and don’t rush to meet him. Focus on your feelings. If meetings with him make you irritated, angry or sad, ask him not to bother you so often or for a while, explain that you are not ready yet. If you are not in the mood to communicate with him at all, say so. Don’t give him hope, don’t try to be overly mannered when a person doesn’t understand the hints that he’s not welcome at all.

If you leave yourself a chance to try to build a relationship with him again, and he agrees to leave you alone for a while, and then starts calling again, asking to meet and talk with him, do not refuse. Even if the relationship does not develop into something big, at least you will no longer bitterly remember the years you lived together or regret that you did not try to give the relationship another chance. After all, it is so important not to harbor resentment in your soul, not to torture yourself needlessly, but to treat this page in life as a useful experience that allows you to look at the world around you and your personal life in a new way.

In the same case, when the man himself decided to break off the relationship and after a while is looking for a meeting with you, it means that he began to doubt the decision made. Don't think that he will quickly offer to live together. At the moment he is trying to understand whether he did the right thing, whether he was in no hurry, or whether he made a mistake. If you want him back, give him a reason to stay. Show him that you understand your mistakes, have corrected yourself and are ready to build a relationship together and accept him for who he is, without trying to correct him or criticizing him for any reason.

When he calls only when he is in a very cheerful state, after drinking several glasses of alcohol, he appears for the night, and then disappears again, without explaining anything, unfortunately, for him the ex-girlfriend is just a convenient option. He's not going back. Everything suits him. He spends his free time with friends, relaxing and minding his own business, but when he wants to feel care and affection, he remembers his ex. He hasn’t changed, hasn’t admitted his mistakes, and isn’t going to change anything in his life. There is no need to talk about any feelings here. It will not be possible to return him, and to restore good relations either. If you don’t want to feel like an “alternate” airfield, try to explain to him as quickly as possible that you have a new life and there is no place for him in it. Have pity on yourself, let him go and allow yourself to enjoy life, and not depend on the whim of a man who simply uses you for his own personal interests.

• If your husband left the family because of another woman, but does not refuse to communicate with you, this does not mean at all that he still loves you. Take a closer look at him and his behavior. In the case when he promises to come help and does not come, without even bothering to call and warn that he will not come, his feelings have cooled down, and only out of the kindness of his heart he agrees to help you. Don't waste the best years of your life on him, hoping that he still loves you and will come back soon. Forget about him and move on with your own personal life. But if his new passion does not want your communication or she has some problems, and he prefers to help you, then everything is not so smooth in his new family. If you have managed to forgive him and want to return him at any cost, surround him with care, become an understanding, affectionate woman with whom he has so many connections. And very soon he will return home. They don't give up on good things...

• Your ex-husband constantly calls and asks how you are living, if you need his help, he definitely dreams of returning home. So it depends only on your desire when this happens. But don't agree to take him back too quickly. Let him realize that you respect yourself and are giving him one last chance, so he should appreciate it. Otherwise, he will perceive your surrender as his personal victory and decide that you are crazy about him and will forgive everything he does. You must respect yourself, otherwise in a few years everything may happen again.
• If a man continues to take care of you, pamper you with small gifts, and has become much more affectionate and attentive than when you lived together, he is again trying to conquer you. The ex-husband who was caught cheating in this way tries to make amends, hoping that everything can still be corrected. And the man you broke up with because he disappointed you tries to convince you that you were in a hurry to break up, and demonstrates how good he is and deserves your love.

• When conversations with your ex-husband on the phone drag on, and the calls themselves are heard more and more often, and he repeats how pleased he was to hear from you, he dreams of being nearby and renewing the relationship.
• Trying to do things together that unite you does not indicate his desire to return. He may still have feelings for you, but not strong enough to renew the relationship. In this way, he controls you, creating the illusion that he has everything under control and not wanting to give up the feeling of stability that you gave him.
• When any conversations between you, one way or another, come down to discussing why you broke up, he has not yet realized why this happened and wants to understand how to get everything back on track. A man's pride does not allow him to admit his own mistakes. Only you can understand this situation. If you need him, make it clear that you don't mind trying to start over and subtly hint where he was wrong. If you want to get rid of him forever, stop communicating altogether.
• If he often asks your mutual friends how you live, who you communicate with, he is interested in learning about your status. On the one hand, it could be ordinary jealousy, when feelings have not yet cooled down, and in this case there is every chance of returning him, and on the other hand, it can be a sense of ownership, as they say neither to themselves nor to people.

Do not rush to draw conclusions until you are sure that your ex-husband has truly realized his mistake and is ready to correct himself. Don't try to find out the truth by trying to get answers from him. Observe him, test him and only then make a decision: whether you get along with him again or is it better to limit your communication forever.