New words in communication. Regular list of smart words and expressions. The Art of Effective Communication

What is the difference between a pleasant and a repulsive interlocutor? Is it all down to an innate inclination to communicate? In fact, in 90% of cases, it is not talent that saves, but resourcefulness, self-discipline and continuous work on oneself. It's no secret: every detail is important - posture, facial expressions, gestures, tone. And if these components can be quickly mastered with the help of physical effort, competent speech requires something more. How to speak correctly and be a great storyteller?

Use verified data

Spreading gossip damages the reputation of a decent person. Any unverified or dubious information is considered gossip. To avoid awkward moments and to avoid putting yourself in a bad light, it is better to use only reliable facts in your story.

However, there are situations in which any detail is important, even the unlikely one. Then, in order not to mislead the opponent, sentences begin with the phrases:

• “I'm not sure if this is true, but...”;
• “I heard such information from neighbors/acquaintances/passers-by, but I don’t know how true it is...”;
• “I don’t have a definite answer to this question, but there are several hypothetical versions...”;
• “I think so, but it’s quite possible that I’m wrong. Double-check the information in reference books or with specialists.”

In other words, these statements have only a speculative, hypothetical connotation. The interlocutor clearly understands: the information may not correspond to the truth. However, the details will help you find the answer and give you direction.

Arm yourself with arguments

This concerns controversial issues. Even if a question has an irrefutable answer, the interlocutor may not know about it. In such situations, you cannot insult your opponent, laugh at him, or accuse him of ignorance. Attempts to insist on an answer without proper argumentation will also be useless. Therefore, the best solution would be a detailed explanation with the announcement or demonstration of evidence. They may be:

• results of scientific research;
• real life examples;
• material evidence - video or audio recordings, photographs, samples;
• authoritative literary sources - reference books, encyclopedias, textbooks;
• statistics, experiments, logical conclusions.

Maintain clean speech

Fashion even touched colloquial speech. Therefore the words foreign origin have become the norm. Sometimes they really come to the rescue, as they save time and help to briefly describe phenomena and objects that are difficult to translate into your native language in one phrase. However, sometimes these “linguistic foreigners” sound ridiculous.

“We will use a beauty center to demonstrate the fashion collection.”

“Team building will be held at Open Air Place.”

“There is no connection with the cleaning worker.”

How to explain to a person accustomed to normal speech that these sentences talk about a fashion show, a corporate party and a cleaning lady? To avoid semantic errors and misunderstandings, it is better to use Russian analogues whenever possible.

A few more problems of modern “fashionable” language- slang, jargon, deliberate abbreviation of words. The phrase “grandmothers spin like this”, uttered by the financial director, will not add respect or trust to him. And the words “hey, cool chick, don’t you want to ride in a car?” are unlikely to help you start healthy romantic relationship. Funny? Nevertheless, these are realities; to confirm them, it is enough to listen to the conversations of others. The result will be rather disastrous.

Serves as a huge ulcer on the body of speech obscene language. It is most often used for three reasons:

• an attempt to attract attention, appear older, “fit in” with the company (for teenagers);
• creating a comic or emotionally rich effect;
• expression of negative emotions.

And now it’s time for a paradox: scientists have found that swearing is good for the body, as it makes it easier to endure pain. It turns out that a “sharp word” sometimes helps? Perhaps, but not in time business meeting, communication with a stranger or as an insult. Therefore, you should not forget about the limits of decency.

Should we talk about illiterate speech? The rules of conjugation, declension, and pronunciation exist for a reason. They show the level of education and culture.

Pay attention to sound

The volume, timbre of the voice, and clarity of pronunciation have a significant impact on the interlocutor and the audience. The tone of the narrator is equally important. For well-mannered person It is unacceptable to conduct a conversation in an arrogant, arrogant tone. You should not make your voice overly instructive - this humiliates and insults the listener.

A good conversation is one in which the sound matches the situation.

When communicating with children, an emotionally bright, positive, cheerful tone is used. Defending a scientific paper requires a neutral, narrative tone. Sellers of goods “for adults” lower their voices, speak slowly, and often use meaningful pauses.

What happens if you change everything?

Will kids like the dryness of a research assistant? How will the audience of scientists react to the speaker’s unusual voice - low, hoarse, slightly breathy? And what will happen if in a sex shop a shy buyer suddenly stumbles upon a salesperson who is too loud and cheerful?

Establish contact with your interlocutor

During a conversation, it is important to spend time with your opponent. Otherwise, all you get is a boring, long monologue. One-time, because no one wants to meet such a “talker” twice. A few rules for polite dialogue:

• show respect, call the interlocutor by name (first and patronymic);
• ask questions - simple and rhetorical;
• forget about monosyllabic or vague answers “yes”, “no”, “maybe”, “who knows”, “we’ll see”;
• look at the interlocutor, do not ignore him, do not be distracted by trifles;
• maintain distance according to the level of proximity.

Conversation is reminiscent of passing a ball: if you speak up yourself, pass the ball to another player. It is completely impolite to hold this ball in your hands for a good half hour, and then leave with it without making a “pass”.

Find a balance between topic and digressions

Jokes, lyrical and philosophical digressions, memories, and secondary topics fuel interest in the conversation. But only if they do not ignore the main subject of conversation.

A person comes to the clinic to find out the cost of services. He doesn't care when this hospital was founded, what doctors work here and how many diplomas the local nurses have. Yes, this is important information, and you can mention it, but after the price list has been announced and without intrusiveness.

Avoid taboo topics

If the interlocutor is unfamiliar person, it makes sense to limit the range of issues discussed. This will save you from awkward situations and conflicts. These topics include:

• religion;
• policy;
• attitude towards sexual minorities;
• diseases;
• any problems in the life of the interlocutor;
• intimate, personal issues;
• gossip, discussions with a negative slant.

You can talk about work, culture, hobbies, institutions, animals, and so on. Discussion of topics from the list is permissible only with a close person who inspires trust and shows it in return. If a new acquaintance suddenly begins to broach an awkward topic, you can try to smoothly change the subject of conversation or directly, but politely, state your reluctance to discuss this issue.

Tips on how to speak correctly may seem easy, but practice proves otherwise. To successfully apply them, you will have to learn self-control and develop attentiveness. A good interlocutor monitors his speech and the reaction of his opponent at the same time. He always accurately notices when it is better to change the subject or stop the conversation altogether. Such skills require careful work on yourself. But they are the ones who serve business card a person with whom it is truly pleasant to communicate.

Even though most of us like to brag inner freedom and uninhibitedness, many people around the world still continue to suffer from excessive timidity, unsociability and inhibition. Of course, this hinders them not only in terms of their careers, but also in their personal lives.

With people? Do you think it’s difficult and you can’t cope? You are wrong! Knowing a few is enough simple rules, then you can easily establish contact with any interlocutor.

So, the topic of our conversation today is “Communicate with people without problems.”

Rule one. Main

If you are determined to learn how to communicate with people, remember the most important rule: “People will treat you the way you treat them.” Those. By and large, this is the mirror principle. Therefore, it is important not to forget that if your relationship with a particular person is important to you, try to always speak kindly and slowly.

Smile

Join the conversation

How to learn to communicate with people if it is unusual and uncomfortable to even begin to express your own opinions? According to psychologists, if you are in an unfamiliar company, try not to engage in dialogue at all for some time, at least until you finally determine the topic of the conversation. Just sit and listen. And don’t worry, no one will regard your silence as a sign of unfriendliness. On the contrary, companies really love and value listeners. You know, there are always many more people who want to talk and express their point of view than those who are ready to listen to the end, only asking clarifying questions from time to time.

Facial expressions and gestures

Surprised? Yes Yes! Your gestures and facial expressions are no less important than anything else. If you try to hide it, the person may think that your behavior is somehow unnatural, that you are hiding something and most likely deceiving. Although remember that excessive gesticulation is a sign of nervousness. And, you see, few people will like this. Shall I tell you a secret? If you really want to know how to learn to communicate with people, remember: leisurely, small and soft gestures, and especially open palms, are one of the ways to please others. In addition, psychologists advise using the so-called “mirroring” method, which consists of trying to copy the rate of speech and gestures of your interlocutor. The better you do this, the more likely it is that you will be seen as a like-minded person, practically loved one.

Sight

The eyes, of course, are another important point. And this is not at all surprising. After all, it is with the help of views that, according to scientists, we receive up to 90% of all necessary information.

In this article, I tried to talk in as much detail as possible about how to learn to communicate with and give each other pleasure from this conversation. But believe me, the most important thing is not your behavior or speech. You yourself should be an interesting conversationalist. If you want to gain popularity, communicate more and have a huge number of friends, try to captivate the person, keep up the conversation, let your eyes glow, never leave your lips, and let life boil. And then, believe me, you won’t have to look for communication, it will find you on its own.

And so, in order to talk to people correctly, you need to smile, be interested in the person and be confident during the conversation.

This is the brief meaning of most trainings, books and articles on the topic of how to learn to communicate with people correctly. Already on the first lines we saved you a lot of time.

Are these tips effective?

Of course not!

Dale Carnegie was, of course, right when he advised showing interest and respect for your interlocutor, without this you can’t get anywhere! But usually this strategy only helps if you already know how to communicate with people, when you behave relaxed and natural.

Well, what if you get jitters every time you communicate with stranger, what if you just don’t feel like smiling or listening to your interlocutor for half an hour about his hobby that is not interesting to you?

In this article we will look at dealing with fear and discomfort when communicating with people, talk a little about Erickson's hypnosis and Eriskon spirals, and give an exercise that will help you train your talkativeness.

Fear of communicating with people. How they are not shy to talk to people.

You may be encouraged to know that 70% of people are afraid to communicate with strangers.

In fact, whether you know a person or not doesn’t matter at all; fear can easily arise when communicating with a person you already know; what’s the catch?

We are afraid of communication only if there is a betrayal of the significance of this situation, if we feel some kind of responsibility or are pushing ourselves...

Let's say you are afraid to come up to meet a person of the opposite sex, or someone has approached you to get to know you. A bunch of “automatic thoughts” begin to spin in my head, which quickly disperse the vegetative nervous system, as a result of which we feel constrained. These thoughts are like “how do I look”, “what will people think”, “what a cool girl (guy), how I would like to build a relationship with her (him).

Well, or let’s say you are communicating with a work colleague and begin to feel awkward, in this case the thoughts will be something like “how do I look”, “that if I say some bullshit now, bad conversations will start about me”...

There are only 2 ways to deal with any fear:

• Get a positive experience

You are new to the company, at first it is difficult for you to communicate with colleagues, but later you understand that they are very pleasant people and you already communicate with them as friends. This is because at first you don’t know these people and don’t know what to expect from them, but in the process it turns out that they are nice people, you get a POSITIVE EXPERIENCE OF COMMUNICATION with these people and the situation no longer bothers you.

Therefore, the conclusion is that you need to train yourself in communicating with people and get a positive experience from it.

This is what is usually done in various trainings. During the day, you approach different representatives of the opposite sex 100 times and subsequently understand that there is nothing scary here. Well, or you are performing a difficult task related to communicating with strangers and the experience “I am capable of this...” is imprinted in your head.

However, the question arises, what if I only had a negative experience while completing the task, what if I’m shaking all over just at the thought of having to talk to a stranger?

We do not have the right to diagnose anyone, but perhaps your fear is more at the level of phobic disorders and panic attacks, you may find it useful to read the article. It describes in detail the methods of working on oneself and explains what such disorders are.

• Reduce importance

There’s a girl next to you who you really like, and you can’t get the words out of yourself. And now there is a girl next to you who is indifferent to you and next to her you behave naturally.

This is what we have already talked about. Your mind overestimates the significance of this situation. You become a tightrope walker where one mistake can mean death.

Significance to events increases from automatic thoughts. The event has just happened, and already a dozen such thoughts and associations have arisen in your head. You may not even notice them, but they are there, they are interconnected and carry pathological attitudes.

In this situation, automatic thoughts may be the following: “here she is nearby”, “how beautiful she is”, “she probably likes confident guys, I should seem confident”, “just not to say bullshit”, “what if I’m stupid and someone else will see this,” etc.

You can fight automatic thoughts using the cognitive behavioral therapy technique; we described it in detail in the article. In fact, you need to learn to catch these automatic thoughts, criticize them and change your attitudes.

An effective exercise for developing communication

Well, let’s say you have no fear of communicating with people, but somehow the conversation itself is difficult.

Usually at this moment everyone starts advising you to read more books. Reading books is great, but in this matter it is ineffective.

When you're in last time Have you seen people walking down the street and discussing the image of Eugene Onegin?

Read books if they interest you and on topics that interest you. And if you meet a person who has the same interests as you, then the conversation will go by itself, but for this you have to be lucky.

We are now talking about that communication when you seem to talk about everything and nothing at once. When there is no subject of discussion, when it is easy and interesting, and topics for conversation arise on their own, failure occurs. The delirium generator exercise can help us develop such skills, which you can simply train at home, on the street or on the way to work.

Exercise nonsense generator

In general, the delusion generator has a lot of exercises, but we will give some of the most interesting and simple ones.

1. Name everything you see

You sit in a room and simply name everything you see + an adjective to it.

The chair is old, the table is on wheels, the computer is black, the wallpaper is gray, the plants are green...

You do the same thing when you go to work, but you can further dilute it with a more detailed description.

An old woman is sitting on her red coat, a man is reading a newspaper article about football, the girl smells good...

If these actions seem pointless to you, then you are absolutely right, there is no point in them. You simply train your brain to say everything you see and make associations to it.

1. Little stories

Almost the same thing, but you just come up with little stories for what you see. You need to come up with stories quickly, even if at first it turns out to be nonsense and fantasy, the main thing here is not to get stuck thinking.

Plant. It used to be a small pea, but the warmth and care of our family allowed it to become a small sprout. One day a cat approached this small, defenseless sprout. She clumsily pushed him with her hind legs, and the sprout fell to the ground. But we collected all the soil back into the clay pot and put it and the sprout away from the cat. They watered it regularly, the summer sunlight gave the sprout strength, and now it has grown into big plant, which will soon enslave the earth, turning people into zombies under its control.

Yes, you can be weird).

Do the same. This way your mind will learn to make detailed associations for any words and you will be able to support any conversation.

The delusion generator is a very easy, effective and simple technique. By regularly doing it every day for 10 minutes, you will feel the results within 1-2 months.

How to communicate effectively with people

However, how to communicate with people in such a way as to get what you want from them?

NLP psychology specializes in this area.

Today there is a huge amount of NLP literature, courses and trainings on the Internet. No matter how cruel it may sound, people want to be able to “subordinate” the will of other people.

NLP borrows a lot from Exxon hypnosis. But it must be said that if you expect a complete shutdown of people’s consciousness and the ability to introduce anything into it, then you are mistaken. Ericksonian hypnosis is a procedure for introducing a person into a track state and planting in the person’s subconscious the seeds of actions that are beneficial to you.

Ericksonian hypnosis is a whole topic that is difficult to fit into the framework of this article. However, now we will tell you about one of the most effective methods, these are Erickson spirals.

The fact is that a person’s consciousness is capable of perceiving a limited amount of information; the remaining amount will be “entered” directly into the subconscious. Erickson spirals look like this.

• We begin to tell story number 1 (the beginning).
• We smoothly switch to story number 2 (beginning).
• We insert story number 3 with a metaphor, with the result we want (suggestion).
• Ends story number 2 (ending).
• Let's finish story number 1 (ending).

Thus, here is a little story with the information we need in point 3, goes straight into the subconscious. It is very good if the suggestion stage is wrapped in a shell of something taken for granted.

What it looks like in reality.

You want to ask a girl out on a date. Don’t think that we are teaching you how to pick up, it’s just that this problem is the easiest way to describe the essence of Erickson’s spirals:

(Start 1). When they come summer days, it’s very cool not to sit at home, but to spend time outside. My friends are the same, they are always busy with something.

(Start 2). One of my friends loved summer walks, when the whole country sat in front of the TV and watched the World Cup matches, he walked in the parks.

(Suggestion) One day he invited a girl to take a walk with him, she at first refused, but then agreed. Now 3 years have passed, their child is 2 years old and they are very happy. Great to watch happy people, is not it?

(End 2) By the way, then our team did not make it out of the group, but the Germans played well with the Brazilians.

(End 1) They say that this summer will be very hot and that’s great, you can not only spend time in the parks, but also go swimming.

If you read this example and thought that this story would not make any impression on you, you are absolutely right! This example looks unnatural. It is written in a language that is unnatural for communication, and one of the main tasks is to adapt Erickson’s spirals to the format of communication that is natural for you.

In order to achieve the desired result from a person, it is often necessary to build several such spirals into a conversation.

Let us repeat that they do not turn off a person’s consciousness, and even if you do everything masterfully, you do not guarantee yourself 100% positive result. However, by learning such spiral stories, you significantly increase your chance of getting the results you need from the person.

And so, friends. We shed light on the issue of fear in communication, talked about the delusion generator and Erickson spirals. We hope that our article was not just another crazy article about smiling when communicating, but gave you some new, little knowledge. And most importantly, you now have the tools to work with your problem.

Thank you for your attention and we wish you pleasant, effective communication!

Life modern man closely related to interpersonal communication. Men and women meet every day at work, in the store or sports club. But what to do when you are closed off and don’t know which side to approach when you want to start a conversation? Only outcasts can live in an empty apartment without maintaining contact with anyone, so it is important to be able to find mutual language with other people.

Ways to Achieve Effective Communication

Eye contact
It’s easy to gain the trust of your interlocutor if you look him in the eyes when talking. Do not look away to the left and up, this sign indicates disinterest. If you lower your gaze down and look to the right, your friend may think about a possible trick.

The ideal option is to look at the area between the eyebrows of the person you are in contact with. This technique is used by sales managers who want to “sell” a product. If the interlocutor looks at you at the same time, it will seem to him that you are looking into his eyes. It turns out to be a kind of optical illusion, take advantage of it.

Confidence is an undeniable trump card
Confident people can be seen from afar; they are characterized by a proud posture, direct gaze and head held high. You want to communicate with such a person; he does not use a long prelude before starting a conversation, but immediately gets to the point. Be a confident interlocutor, so you will have an undeniable trump card up your sleeve!

Show your reliability and determination, attract others with these qualities. Such personalities leave an indelible impression on the souls of newly made friends and do not suffer from lack of attention.

"What's in a name…"
When you first meet a person, ask him what his name is. It is important to remember that there is no sweeter song to the ears than the sound of your own name. This is the only way to address the listener. If third parties join the conversation and you decide to tell a story that includes the name of an acquaintance, do not use the pronouns “he” or “she.”

Try to associate your companion's name with positive emotions. Share funny incidents from your life, smile sincerely, tell jokes. Solar personalities illuminate everyone who is in contact with them. Radiate positivity and energy!

Genuine interest
Agree, it’s not interesting to listen for hours on end to a guy or girl talking about their life without showing any interest in you. Such individuals are rightfully considered egoists; do not count yourself among them. Show interest, take an interest in life and don’t burden others with your own troubles. Have a dialogue, not a monologue.

Allow the person to join the conversation, after which the conversation will take its course. Eastern wisdom says: “Say it once, listen the other two!” Stick to the great gurus of philosophy so as not to get stuck in the traffic jam of prolonged silence that occurs when two selfish people meet.

He who does not take risks...
...loses positive emotions. Advice goes hand in hand with confidence. People feel afraid when they want to ask questions or ask questions. They mistakenly believe that they will be rejected or humiliated, but this is far from the case. A situation of this kind occurs due to the imaginary incompetence of the listener, who considers himself unworthy of the interlocutor.

Don’t be afraid of rejection, analyze what is said, ask relevant questions, express your opinion and give advice! Don't let your emotions take over your self-esteem, maintain dignity in any circle of people, regardless of the situation.

"Mirror" effect
Gestures emphasize the spoken words, facial expressions characterize them. The two points are inextricably linked. Don't try to remove your hands when talking, this sign will look unnatural. Excessive waving is also undesirable; the interlocutor may mistake the action for nervousness.

Be calm, do not fold your arms over your chest, this technique means closedness. Stand straight, bend your wrists and clasp your hands. Also, you don’t need to clench your fists, keep your palms open, only in this way can you win those around you towards yourself.

The greatest minds in the United States have proven the effectiveness of communication using the “mirror” method. The method involves repeating the movements of the interlocutor and copying the intonation of his voice. However, do not do it like a parrot; the movements should be soft, unnoticeable and as similar as possible. Psychologists say that the “mirror” brings people together and helps them open up.

Knowledge is power
Read books, watch interesting programs and current films. Stay up to date with events, enjoy communicating with everyone developed person who knows how to carry on a conversation. Such personalities gain universal recognition and are placed on a pedestal of respect.

Try to join the company in the first hour of communication, create topics for discussion, and involve others in the conversation. Don't hide your knowledge, but don't be too clever, so as not to alienate others.

Relevance of questions asked
Avoid pauses in communication that will embarrass both sides of the conversation. When contact is just being established and people are not yet accustomed to each other’s company, it is important to create the right atmosphere for further manipulation. Did your interlocutor tell you that he was going to the dacha this weekend? Great, ask him how far away it is and if fishing is welcome there. Do not answer with a memorized “I see,” this statement will confuse anyone.

Avoid questions that can only be answered in one word. Ask in such a way that the other side is forced to answer in detail. There is no need to bombard the person with a series of questions; ask in a measured and “on-topic” manner. If we are talking about construction, the automobile section would be inappropriate.

Correct formulation of thoughts
Did an idea suddenly arise? Don’t rush to share it, think carefully about what you are going to say. Express yourself in clear phrases, don’t jump from one place to another, adapt people to your thoughts. Those around you are not psychics; they do not always understand what is being said, although they nod their heads in response. As mentioned above, “yesing” comes from a fear of asking or an unwillingness to listen.

Keep the story interesting, not monotonous, so that you want to know the continuation. It is important to realize that everyone has their own idea of ​​what is being said. you presented White sand and the blue ocean, but the interlocutor saw only shells and algae on the shore. Formulate your own thoughts, engaging and fueling the interest of the public.

Openness is not a vice
Be honest and open, do not create misunderstandings due to inconsistencies. Share your personal life, but within reason. Choose “not closed” information for the story. When a man or woman cheats, the truth soon comes out and ruins the friendship.

Now it is important to create that inextricable connection between opponents, because of which you will meet again over a cup of coffee. Open people quickly find friends, but also often betray them. Look at the situation, if the interlocutor does not inspire confidence, do not share your secret.

Openness is associated with integrity and honesty, two qualities business man. As a rule, girls are more relaxed, and over a bottle of good wine they loosen their tongues. It’s more difficult for guys in this regard; they don’t share their experiences with the first person they meet.

Personality is determined not only by opinion, strength of character and desire for more, but also by complexes, fear and shyness. What to do when the break in communication has been so long that a barrier has formed? Let's talk about everything in order.

Lack of common themes
Don't know what to talk about? There are a number of common topics that will set the stage for further conversation. Discuss the latest in the film industry, popular sports trends, world news, and finally the weather and nature. When discussing the above topics, you do not need to have astronomical knowledge.

Intrigue and gossip
Are you relaxing in the company, and a girl about whom there are still rumors is pestering you with conversations? Do not succumb to provocations, ignore gossipers and envious people. Educate useful quality- judge a person based on your own convictions, and not long tongues chattering behind your back.

Adrenaline rush
Is your interlocutor talking utter nonsense? Are you starting to argue and prove you are right? Stop. You need to be able to cope with the storm that destroys further communication. Go to Fresh air, catch your breath.

It doesn’t matter what the true motives for the behavior are - a disagreement with your husband or the departure of a girlfriend. Don't take your anger out on others, putting yourself in an awkward position. You will say nasty things to your interlocutor, for which you will subsequently suffer from remorse.

It is difficult for closed personalities to step over themselves and say a couple of phrases to maintain a conversation. However, communication skills are as necessary as writing and reading skills. Experts have developed a number of recommendations with the help of which you will move from a dead point.

Imaginary conversation
As ridiculous as it may sound, talk to the furniture. Tell your closet how you spent your day and what you had for lunch. Sociologists talk about the effectiveness of the procedure, because it is much more difficult to communicate with inanimate objects than with people. Try to construct sentences that are coherent and interesting. If the idea seems absurd, get a pet and communicate with it.

Sweet Praise
Pay attention to the personal qualities of your interlocutors and praise their skills. Did you like your colleague's blouse? Don't be shy, tell me. Did the cafe make excellent coffee? Don't skimp on a sincere compliment. Words must come from the heart for people to believe you.

Chatting with random people
Make it a goal to have conversations with strangers every day. Are you going to the store to buy bread? Chat with the saleswoman about the freshness of the product. Can't find the right street? Ask your grandmother standing at the bus stop for directions. Greet the concierge and smile. The method is effective, despite its simplicity. It will eradicate the fear of being the first to start a conversation.

Interaction with others is an integral part of everyday life. Real communication skills come with practice. Delve into your opponent's stories, ask questions and be sincere. Use exercises to improve communication skills, overcome all kinds of barriers and fight emotions. Address your interlocutor by name, join the team and become the life of the party!

Video: how to learn to communicate with people

guardian of belles lettres

Clever words borrowed from other languages ​​are designed to amaze others with the intelligence of the speaker or writer. And many people want to know abstruse words for communication and their meaning, but are too lazy to simply look for them on the Internet and use them in simple speech. It's time to finally compile a dictionary of the most incomprehensible words in the Russian language and their meanings and memorize them! Where and how will this help you? For example, in reviews of new films, plays and books, in conversations with colleagues, in talk shows on TV and the blogosphere, here and there “insight”, “excess”, “existential” and, of course, trendy “ the cognitive dissonance" But you don’t understand a word, and no one wants to feel “close-minded” and ignorant.

Remember the proverb “The word is not a sparrow; if it flies out, you won’t catch it”? We, of course, cannot provide a complete list of the smartest words in the world that can be used for conversation, and their meaning, but we bring to your attention a list of competent smart words for communicating with people (and their meaning) - a sort of mini-dictionary of popular smart expressions .

Smart nouns

The most useful complicated words with meanings that everyone should know are nouns, because they are the basis of our speech. All these smart words, like “insight”, “collaboration”, “frustration”... So, let’s replenish our vocabulary with long smart words that you need to know by heart.

ADDICTION

The English word addiction characterizes dependence, addiction, a way of escaping reality. Addictions are not only alcoholism, gambling, drug addiction, and smoking. Psychologists assure: a similar mechanism of addiction is found in those who overeat, live and burn at work, love extreme sports, hang out on the Internet for days, love creativity and... fall in love. Another thing is that forms of addiction are divided into those acceptable by society, such as workaholism or falling in love, and unacceptable, such as excessive craving for alcohol.

AMPHIBOLICITY

Amphibolicity is the ambiguity of a concept, its contradictory interpretation. As a rule, this word is used rarely - in dissertations, in court hearings or in biochemical work. But it’s not bad to understand if someone says “this is amphibolic” or “the amphibolic nature of this concept baffles me, because I adhered strictly to one line,” but you understand that it’s all about the ambiguity of the concept you are discussing.

VIS.

“French” vis-a-vis in Russian can be both an adverb (“sit vis-a-vis”, that is, opposite each other), and a noun, both masculine and female(“my smart counterpart”, “your beautiful counterpart”). You have every right to call your counterpart the one who is opposite you, with whom you are sitting face to face.

IDIOSYNCRASY

What did Stirlitz mean when he said: “I have an idiosyncrasy for rhyme”? The fact that he is completely devoid of poetic gift. He was modest, of course... A word with ancient Greek roots (idos - “separate, special”; synkrasis - “mixing”) for a long time was familiar only to doctors, but came into wide use as a synonym for the words “allergy”, “rejection”: “Yes, he has an idiosyncrasy for everything new!”, “I have an idiosyncrasy for empty talk.”

INSIGHT

Translated from English, “insight” literally means insight, insight. This concept is used in philosophy and psychology to convey insight, a sudden understanding of something that is not inferred from past experience. So someone will say: “And then it dawned on me!” - and someone will proudly declare: “I had an insight!”

COLLABORATION

The unification of several equal, independent participants to achieve common goals in fashion, art, business, science and education is called (from the English collaboration - cooperation). For example, at the end of March in honor of the 50th anniversary of the science fiction franchise “ Star Trek» cosmetics company MAC announced the release of a Star Trek beauty collection. Makeup options will be borrowed from the movie heroines of the franchise and implemented using 25 limited-edition products for lips, eyes and face. Sales start in August 2016.

CARRILLISM

A phenomenon in which the interlocutor asks you a question again, although he heard it perfectly well. Why is he doing this? Scientists say that a person does this consciously or subconsciously in order to have more time to formulate an answer. They (or their colleagues) are still arguing about the origin of the word. Many associate him with American politician John Kerry, who at the end of 2015 could not immediately answer a question from a Russian schoolboy and asked him again several times. If anyone wants to accuse you of being slow to respond, tell them that this is nothing more than Carrilism, and you need a couple of seconds to formulate an answer.

LIPOPHRENIC

Remember this: “Don’t touch me, old woman, I’m sad.” It was not Ivan the Terrible who said this, but a lipophrenic. In more detail, a lipophrenic is a person who feels irresistible sadness, melancholy and does not know the reasons for the appearance of this condition. Lipophrenia, which is also called apathy, depression, melancholy, usually appears from being alone for a long time, from routine activities or insufficient activity (which is important for modern youth), as well as from a lack of positive emotions. If you don’t want to bear the not-so-proud name “lipophrenic,” do your favorite things more often, prefer live communication to virtual communication, and walk more in the fresh air.

NATIFORMA

Have you ever seen heart-shaped stones or a tomato with a nose? If yes, then you are halfway to understanding the word “natiform”. But here there is more special case, because natiform is nature education, resembling the outline female body or parts thereof. It could be a tree that you looked at from a certain angle and saw shoulders, chest, waist, hips... Or stones in a rock that look so bizarre that they reminded you of your ex. These are all natiforms.

PALINFRASIA

Have you noticed that some people repeat one word or phrase in almost every sentence? If not, you are lucky, and if you have encountered this, congratulate your friend: he has palinphrasia. It’s not contagious, but it’s absolutely unpleasant when in every sentence they say “sir” or “I told you that...”. And so on in a circle. As a result, you will not hear other words, you will lose the essence of the story and generally lose all interest in the conversation.

SYNERGY

When this word is mentioned, one usually remembers its arithmetic “formula”: 1 + 1 = 3. The ancient Greek synergeia is translated as “cooperation, commonwealth.” It means an amazing effect that occurs when several subjects or objects interact. This cumulative effect exceeds the return from the actions of each participant in the process individually. An example of synergy: you've mastered a few secrets of applying concealer, and your friend knows the ins and outs of mascara. By sharing life hacks, both of you, without losing your previous experience, will gain new ones, that is, you will grow in the art of makeup.

SOPHISTRY

Philosophical movement in Ancient Greece, whose followers were famous for their ability to cunningly conduct scientific disputes, gave the name to verbal statements based on juggling facts, simplifications, and violations of logic. Another sophist (from the ancient Greek sophia - “skill, skill, cunning invention, trick, wisdom, knowledge”) is brilliantly able to prove obvious absurdity: “Half-empty is the same as half-full. If the halves are equal, then the wholes are equal. Therefore, the empty is the same as the full.” Therefore, sophistry in a figurative sense refers to any speech that is built on false conclusions, but disguises itself as correct, logical.

TOUCHET

The word "touché" (touchér in French - touch), borrowed from the sports sphere, brings an end to a certain dispute when one of the interlocutors admits the rightness, the superiority of the other after a decisive argument or a verbal jab - what if you competed not in knowledge of the topic, but in wit? Touché, the argument is valid, just as fencing touches or throws on the back of wrestlers, performed according to all the rules, are counted.

FRUSTRATION

To fall into a state of frustration (Latin frustratio - deception, failure, futile expectation) means to experience a whole range of negative feelings due to the inability to achieve what you want. For example, you were planning a vacation at the seaside, had already packed your suitcase, and suddenly your bosses, using carrots and sticks, postpone your vacation a month later because of an important project that cannot be done without you. Naturally, you feel anger, despair, anxiety, irritation, disappointment and hopelessness... Frequent experiences of such states, psychologists note, spoil your character and damage your self-esteem.

EGOCENTRIC

The egoist's namesake, egocentric (from the Latin words ego - “I” - and centrum - “center”) is still not similar to him. Egocentric is self-centered inner world, point of view, his own interests, needs and does not notice those of others, but is able to “move”, help others, hear them if asked for support. Egocentrism is inherent in everyone to one degree or another. An egoist sees other people's interests, but deliberately ignores them, opposes himself to others, always putting his own person first.

EXCESS

The Latin excessus means “exit, evasion.” In Russian, the word consonant with “process” has two meanings. The first is an extreme manifestation of something: “This is not literature, but a graphomaniac excess!” The second is an emergency, a disruption to the normal course of events: “Her gossip caused a real excess in the team.”

ESCAPADE

A daring, shocking, provocative, willful trick in the style of Salvador Dali, Lady Gaga or Miley Cyrus, for example, a rotten herring on a hat or a dress made of raw meat, - this is an escapade. The French word escapade also has a second meaning - an adventure trip - which is not in demand in our language.

Smart adjectives

After nouns, it’s time to see a dictionary of smart adjectives for every day and their meanings, because it is the presence of adjectives in your speech that will distinguish you favorably from other interlocutors. Decorate your speech with little-known smart words, believe me: it will help you in all areas of life. These unfamiliar intelligent words (and their meanings) will help increase your status among both friends and colleagues.

UPSCALE

Derived from the English adjective upscale - “high-quality, first-class, exclusive.” Characterizes the absolute embodiment of the desired properties in any subject or object: upscale interior design, upscale sound, upscale image.

VERBAL

This adjective has nothing to do with a tree with fluffy buds, but it has very much to do with our speech. The Latin verbum is translated as “word,” so “verbal” is verbal, oral. For example, verbal thinking verbal intelligence, verbal method. There is also an adjective “non-verbal” - without verbal expression: non-verbal communication, nonverbal signals.

DEVIANT

What do they mean when they talk about deviant behavior? The French word deviation characterizes a deviation from the norm, be it the position of a compass needle, the heading of an airplane or a sea vessel, as well as a feature of the human psyche. In other words, deviant behavior destroys the personality and health of someone who prefers an asocial lifestyle, and also causes moral and material harm to others.

COGNITIVE

Translated from Latin, cognitio is knowledge, cognition. The adjective “cognitive” describes a person’s ability to acquire knowledge, to cognize the world and himself. This psychological term would not be so popular without its “French” companion: dissonance means “discord, disharmony, inconsistency.”

What we get is a kind of “mine is yours, don’t understand” situation, when previous experience and already accumulated knowledge come into conflict with new information, new circumstances. There are two opposing ideas about the same thing in your head at once. Let’s say your friend emphasizes that he values ​​punctuality very much, you like it, and at the same time you don’t remember a single meeting when he was not late. So should we consider him punctual, organized, true to his word and justify his behavior as accidents or not? The need to choose one thing, evaluate and interpret the newly received picture becomes a cause of mental discomfort.

Another stable phrase, the meaning of which not everyone knows, can be called a synonym for “cognitive dissonance”. This is a “break of the pattern.” This is a broader concept, but the essence is the same: you had some kind of scheme in your head regarding a person, concept, phenomenon, and overnight this scheme collapses due to new knowledge. It turns out that two and two are not always four. Like this?..

SMART

From English the word “smart” is translated as “intelligent”, “savvy”. This is precisely the meaning of the word “smart” that is now used in Russia. It cannot be said that it is firmly entrenched in the minds of Russians, but if you do not know what a “smart watch” or “smart television” is, and even more so a “smartphone”, shame on you. To put it simply, the prefix (or part in the word) “smart” means “smart”: smartphone = smart phone, smart watch = smart watch, etc. As you probably noticed, the word “smart” is used specifically with high-tech items, so when using it, pay attention to the context.

TRANSPARENT

An adjective with English roots (transparent) is held in high regard by politicians, bloggers and even cosmetologists. The former enter into transparent agreements and voice transparent positions without secrets or omissions, while the latter vow to be as open and sincere as possible with the audience. And transparent, that is, transparent powder does not look like a mask on the face and at the same time mattifies it perfectly. Yes, she is unable to hide skin imperfections, but that’s another topic for discussion.

TRANSCENDENTAL

There is good understandable word"incomprehensible". And when, outside of a philosophical debate, one wants to add intellectual depth to speeches, some flaunt the Latin “transcendent” (transcendentis) with the same meaning. And now the speaker or writer and his audience begin to look for and discuss transcendental meanings, connections, feelings...

TRIVIAL

Banal, boring, ordinary, primitive, ordinary - that’s how many synonyms the adjective “trivial” has. It has French origins, and in the native language trivial means the same thing - something ordinary. Fewer people to talk to you with trivial thoughts and anecdotes, theatrical productions and a film premiere with a trivial plot!

EXISTENTIAL

Another philosophical concept related to existence, human life. The Latin word existentia is translated as “existence”. There are many things that influence our days, but the use of the epithet “existential” adds a universal dimension to these “agents of influence.” Existential problems, crises, experiences are phenomena that exist at the core of the world, manifest themselves in reality and are often beyond the control of human will.

Conclusion

In general, if not all the new words were able to immediately fit into your head, we advise you to compile a dictionary of complex intellectual words for conversation, which few people know, with their meaning, of course, and use them as often as possible - in correspondence, when writing in a diary, in conversation . This is the only way it won’t become empty information that you will forget about when you close this page. And by the way: don’t think that this is shameful or feigned. There is no shame in looking for and memorizing tricky words with definitions in order to appear smart. After all, the request “complex words with explanations for smart people» is found very often in RuNet. Note that for already “smart people”, stupid people won’t even look for this.

What we wouldn’t advise you to look for on the Internet are smart words for a girl’s status that no one knows. If no one knows them, why write them in the status? By the way, there is also a list with very clever synonyms for in simple words, which you need to know in order to shine in a conversation, but more about that some other time.