What is empathy - are empathy and compassion needed in life? Empathy and compassion: do modern people need these qualities?

Recently my daughter wrote an essay based on the stories of Platonov, Andreev and a poem by Mayakovsky. This is a text written by an adult. It's not just well written, it's brilliantly written. From the very first paragraph to last point doesn't let you go. I myself would not be ashamed of such an adult, strong and emotional text. But the most important thing is not just thoughts, but also the ability to formulate and implement them in text. And my daughter did this herself, without the slightest help from me.

Here, in fact, is the essay itself.

Do we need empathy and compassion in life?

Every person needs care. Those people who deny this are simply trying to hide their personal pain, and when a person is in pain, he needs help. This is empathy and compassion, our ability to share someone else's pain. But do we need this in life? Are we ready to sacrifice ourselves for others?

What if a person does not receive help from others? Then he will probably feel lonely, and then he will suffer so much that he will stop trusting people and will respond to them with accumulated evil. This is clearly seen in the example of the stray dog ​​Kusaka from the story of the same name by Leonid Andreev. She became a victim of the indifference and cruelty of people, for which she repaid some in the same coin. Until such people appeared who were able to accept her and give Kusaka the love that she was deprived of for a long time. It's a shame it didn't last long. When the people left, even greater melancholy appeared in her heart. She lost warmth, because of which “the dog howled - evenly, persistently and hopelessly calmly. And to those who heard this howl, it seemed that the pitch-dark night itself was groaning and striving for the light and wanted to go into the warmth, to a bright fire, to a loving woman's heart."

Often, in a fairly simple situation, we need compassion from the outside, even if it is completely stranger. This can be seen in Vladimir Mayakovsky's poem "Good Treatment of Horses." Although he says: “Perhaps she was old and didn’t need a nanny, my thought seemed to suit her, only the horse rushed, stood up, neighed and walked away.” And indeed, it may be invisible to us, but a kind word makes us move on, no matter what.

But often, when people need help and they don’t find it around, all the anger and grief is taken out on someone else, someone who is simply weaker and cannot answer you. In a sense, Yushka became such a common “scapegoat”, main character story of the same name, just a blacksmith's assistant. Old, bent over from consumption and very calm and kind in disposition, which infuriates literally everyone. And the point is not in Yushka, but in people who do not receive sympathy from others, see their problems in him, thinking that he is so helpless that he cannot even answer anything. But if silence angered people so much, then when Yushka found something to answer, he received even greater rage in response, which led to the death of the poor artisan. But why then, “However, without Yushka, people’s lives became worse”? We get the answer in the story itself. “Now all the anger and mockery remained among the people and wasted among them, because there was no Yushka, who unrequitedly endured all human evil, bitterness, ridicule and ill will.”

This is why it is important to have empathy and compassion in our lives. I believe that without this we will all be mired in our own anger and pain. This is very familiar to me when other people, seeing your weakness, blame all their troubles on you. At such moments, it is very important that someone is nearby to help carry this load. Otherwise, either a person breaks under the weight of other people’s suffering, or he himself becomes part of universal hatred. It is very important for us to love each other and have compassion in troubles.

(c) Daria Popova

7th grade

The feeling of compassion, sympathy or empathy is internal state. It's because of other people's problems. Of course, empathy is one of the best human qualities. If you are able to have compassion for others, it means you understand other people's feelings. This helps build strong relationships. It is important for every person to realize that they are supported.

What is compassion and empathy

But it is important to understand what constitutes compassion and empathy. These feelings make a person better. Often these concepts are used in the form of synonymous words; it is believed that these are the same emotions.

If you delve into these words, sympathy is the shared experience of certain emotions, and compassion is shared suffering due to something. Both terms mean that a person goes through joy and sorrow and misfortune with another person. Both feelings are caused by a situation where pity and support are required. But these are things that need to be demonstrated if they are truly needed.

Compassion and empathy are similar emotions, but the main difference lies in their expression.

You can often hear that in modern world Only believers or poor people are capable of compassion and sympathy, and rich people do not think about anyone if it does not contribute to their well-being. It is believed that today, for every truly sympathetic person, there are 1000 who envy others. The reason for this opinion is the character of the individual himself. Indifferent people cannot experience such feelings.

In everyday life, we show such emotions taking into account specific situations. For example, one will give to the person asking, and the other will pass by. People show the greatest compassion towards their elderly parents, sick children, and friends.

Often, when showing compassion, we can offend a person who does not need pity. Moreover, true compassion causes harm. If a doctor sympathizes with a patient and worries too much, he himself becomes ill. Therefore, he only needs to sympathize, but not sympathize.

Showing empathy means listening to your interlocutor and understanding his emotions. To do this, you will have to pass them through yourself. Sincerely sympathetic people get upset and worry in exactly the same way as the one who needs this sympathy. This instills faith in a person and helps him forget his worries. Empathy makes people kind.

Why does a person need compassion?

But why do we need compassion and empathy? If you are an emotional person, and this feeling manifests itself excessively, then you have noticed that it is difficult for you to feel the suffering of others. Someone else's negative energy wraps around you, you stop feeling the joy of life. Compassion has a depressing effect and takes away strength.

You should not become overly immersed in the suffering of other people. It is important to be able to stop and not harm yourself with other people’s misfortunes.

In addition, if you constantly sympathize with one person, it harms both him and you. Constant compassion causes you to inadvertently prevent the suffering person from taking responsibility for his own actions. Due to constant sympathy, the person feels his weakness and the need for outside help. Such people are not able to live their own independent lives; they always need outside support.

Therefore, it is important not only to be able to empathize, but also to feel the boundary when you need to protect yourself from other people’s emotions. Measurement is needed in everything.

How to sympathize with someone

In order not to harm yourself, you need to know how to sympathize with a person:

• you need to understand who causes such a feeling – your loved ones or everyone around you? From whom does it come? When you feel that you are taking other people's experiences too closely,... Don't get caught up in other people's problems. Support the person, convince him that he is not alone. But he needs to find a solution to the situation himself;
• and return to the original state when you realize that you are plunging into other people's problems. Stop the conversation until you feel that you can understand the situation normally. Remember that all your feelings affect the body. For this reason, for the normal state of body and soul, it is important to experience to the maximum;

• be able to move from unconscious sympathy to conscious action in a timely manner. Whenever you try to get rid of compassion for others, you will feel guilty. But you should not consider yourself a person devoid of compassion. To support, you don’t have to let negative energy pass through you. Listen, but don't worry too much. Learn to protect yourself from negativity and excessive sympathy.

Of course it's important to stay kind person. We all have a responsibility to help our friends and loved ones. But it is possible to do this without harming yourself. It is important to maintain the balance of your own body in order to feel personal happiness.

Cultivating empathy and compassion in children

It is worth noting that with early childhood Serious attention needs to be paid to nurturing compassion and empathy in children. A child who is not able to show such emotions grows up, and sometimes becomes a true disaster for his parents and himself.

Only those children whose parents set a similar example by their behavior have the ability to compassion and sympathize with others. In order for a child to care and empathize with others when they have problems, it is necessary to early age protect him from punishment.

You can cultivate such qualities in children only by your own example. It is important for parents to show their child how to behave.

If mom and dad show mutual politeness, are also polite to other people, and show care, then the baby will get used to behaving similarly. Researchers have found that men are more capable of experiencing empathy and compassion in families. But we are accustomed to thinking that they are stronger, and therefore show less feelings. When a woman feels bad, a man helps, not just by sympathizing, but by showing compassion and care. He is ready to help his beloved around the clock.

As for women, they are able to experience sympathy for a short period of time. This is because when a man is unwell, a woman, seeing his emotions, first feels compassion. But then, noticing how he is trying to seem strong, the woman’s compassion disappears.

Even if men express complaints about life, they are not ready for the compassion of others. When showing sympathy for men, there is a chance to touch their pride, because all representatives of the stronger sex are afraid of appearing weak.

What to guide in life

In some situations, it is difficult to understand what to guide in life - the mind or the heart. There is no single correct answer. Each situation requires a special approach. Both the heart and the mind are capable of making mistakes.

It is worth conducting a logical analysis of the situation, making important decisions, taking into account the opinion of reason and knowledge. We all use experience and knowledge in practice every day, we use reason. Most decisions come to be made using the dictates of reason, because some things in life are simply inappropriate. You don’t walk across the road as you please without following the rules. This will cause a disaster sooner or later. By applying knowledge, we make sure it is safe, and only then decide what to do.

But when it comes to one’s own emotions and desires, then the mind becomes an interfering element. In matters of the heart, you often have to live with your heart, turning off logic. Often a person is unable to do something because he is afraid of the consequences. But in such a situation, it is better to trust the call of the heart rather than the mind, so as not to regret in the future.

Fears and inability to believe in yourself are created by the mind; they are based on accumulated experience. If you previously had to experience such fear, then when making a decision today, you will feel fear and anxiety. This will cause indecision. For this reason, it is important to set goals, listen to your heart and act on its prompts.

In the modern world, few people think about what empathy is. The rhythm of life, stress, unstable economic situation and other troubles in life force a person to think about himself and his well-being. Such a situation can lead to the disintegration of society and the destruction of traditional foundations, so we must not forget about such human qualities.

Compassion - what is it?

Sympathy is one of the most important, expressing feelings about a situation or situation. Why is sympathy needed? It allows an individual to understand other people’s emotions and remain human. This condition can be based on the following principles:

• attachments;
• understanding;
• respect.

Often such emotions express empathy for another person. They can be expressed in different ways:

• necessary or gentle words;
• encouraging actions;
• physical or material assistance.

The ability to sympathize is good, it is important to do it on time and not to be intrusive, since sometimes heated situations arise in which this “gesture” will be unnecessary and there is a high probability that sympathy will cause psychological damage to the individual. Therefore, it is so important to sincerely and at the appropriate moment express what is being considered. emotional condition.

How is empathy different from compassion?

Understanding what empathy and compassion are will be beneficial for character and personality development. These are similar concepts that express a feeling of empathy for another person. Their difference lies in the fact that empathy allows you not only to understand the situation, but also to feel the emotions of the other. Sympathy and compassion must be equally present in the life of society, otherwise it will become callous and indifferent to the world around us.

Pity and sympathy - what's the difference?

Another similar concept is pity. It manifests itself in the form of the same empathy, but without emotional coloring, without experiencing the same emotions and feelings. Sometimes the feeling of pity is not accompanied by a desire to participate in a person’s problem, but is expressed only with kind, encouraging words. In most cases, when expressing pity, a person conveys his feelings towards another, rather than experiencing the feelings of others. Sympathy and pity are generally similar in meaning, but have different connotations.

Is empathy good or bad?

Many people ask the question: Do people need empathy? There can be two answers to this question, and each of them has its own explanation:

1. Empathy is necessary because it strengthens social connections in society, allows people to remain human and show their emotions. By sympathizing, we show that we care about the person.
2. If a person is upset, then sympathy can further undermine his state of mind, intensify the manifestation negative emotions and make the situation worse. In this case, sympathy will be unnecessary.

From the responses considered, we can conclude that empathy is necessary in certain moments depending on the situation and the emotional state of the person to whom it is directed. It is important not to overdo it and to know when the manifestation of such an emotional state will be appropriate in order to truly help the person, and not, on the contrary, aggravate the situation.

Do we need empathy and compassion in life?

Very complex, a little philosophical question- Do people need empathy and compassion? Most people would likely say that it is necessary. Such qualities are a manifestation of caring, caring attitude. It is important to convey to children about them during their upbringing and personality formation. Constantly receiving a portion of the emotions of compassion and empathy, a person can demand them more and more often - he will get used to it or will wait for a permanent solution to his problems. He can manipulate his condition to achieve goals. Therefore, it is not for nothing that the expression “everything is good in moderation” exists.

How to learn to sympathize?

The answer to the question of how to express sympathy will depend on the specific situation. It is important to be able to sympathize correctly and in a timely manner. A person needs to show that they understood him, shared his experiences, but at the same time gave him strength to get out of the current situation. Often required:

For a more complete and profound understanding of the meaning of this term, you can refer to some books, both for adults and for children. For example:

1. Author's book Ruth Minshull How to Choose Your People talks about what you can pay attention to when meeting people and how to choose those whom you can later call “yours.” The book has a separate chapter dedicated to the concept of empathy.
2. Alex Cabrera "Fairies Speak of Compassion"- an excellent book that makes it possible to convey meaning to a child this concept and teach him to show empathy at the right moments.

Books about empathy and compassion allow people to become more open and kind, and teach children to be caring in certain situations. By periodically reminding yourself of what empathy is, and that sometimes you cannot do without it, you can make the world a better place. The manifestation of such a feeling, along with compassion and mutual assistance, leads to the unity of society, the establishment of social relations within it, maintaining traditions and connections between generations. This is important for the development of a full-fledged, mature, stable society.

Compassion (sympathy, empathy)– the emotional state of a person, the displeasure experienced due to the misfortunes of others.

Certainly, compassion- this is one of the best qualities person. If you know how sympathize with a person, which means you understand his feelings and emotions. Accordingly, this will help you establish a stronger relationship with him. After all, it is important for each of us to know that you are supported, understood and loved.

But, Does a person need compassion?

If you emotional person and you are highly developed feeling of compassion, you have probably noticed that sharing the pain and suffering of another person is very difficult. His negative energy envelops you and, thereby, you yourself stop enjoying life. Sympathy acts in a depressing way, taking away your strength.

Moreover, if you often sympathize with one person, it harms both of you. Permanent empathy results in you inadvertently preventing the sufferer from taking responsibility for their own actions. Your constant compassion will make a person feel weak and in need of someone's help. Such people will not be able to live independently, and will constantly need you and your support.

Therefore, it is very important not only learn to empathize or be able to sympathize with other people, but know and feel the line, at the right moment to protect yourself from the negative emotions of other people. Everything should be in moderation!!!

“Compassion generally contradicts the law of development, which is the law of selection. It supports what must perish, it stands up for the disadvantaged and condemned by life; By supporting failures of all kinds in life, it makes life itself gloomy and arousing doubt.”

(Antichrist. A curse on Christianity. F. Nietzsche)

How to learn to sympathize and empathize correctly?

1. You need to figure out who is calling you feeling of compassion– everyone or only people close to you. From whom can negative energy come? As soon as you feel that you are taking another person’s experiences too close to your heart, try to control your emotions. Don't get caught up in another person's problems. Provide support by reassuring the sufferer that he is not alone in this world. BUT, he must find a way out of this situation himself!

2. Learn to focus and return to normal whenever you feel yourself getting caught up in another person's problems. Stop the conversation until you feel that you have adequately perceived the situation. Remember that every emotion you have affects your body and your energy. Therefore, in order to have a good state of mind and body, you only need to experience positive emotions. Meditation or visualization will help you control your emotions.

3. Be able to move from unconscious sympathy to conscious action in time. Every time you try to get rid of feelings of compassion you will probably feel guilty. Don't blame yourself for being insensitive! After all, in order to support a person, it is not necessary to let him pass through you. negative energy and emotions. Listen, support, while trying to be in your own in good condition. Learn to protect yourself from the negative energy of other people and from excessive empathy.

Of course, it is very important to be a good family member, friend or colleague. We should all love to help each other. But this can be done without causing harm to yourself by passing their negative energy through you. It is necessary to maintain the balance of your body in order to feel personal happiness. In addition, in a calm and happy state, you will be able to help another person more effectively!

Control your emotions and feeling of compassion! Be happy yourself and make others happy!

LIVE BY YOUR MIND OR YOUR HEART?

Sometimes, in a given situation, we don’t know what to do - live with your mind or heart. There is no clear answer to this question. Each situation (problem) that arises requires an individual approach. Both our heart and our mind can be mistaken.

Of course, it is very important to logically analyze the problem, or make some decisions based on your intelligence and knowledge. Each person daily applies his accumulated knowledge to action using his mind. For example, when choosing clothes, when a man wears a business suit to work in the office, rather than a sports suit, although the latter is closer to his heart. He makes this decision based on reason, since he understands that his appearance in the office in a tracksuit will be inappropriate. Or, another example, when we cross the road. At this moment we also use our mind. We don’t cross the road the way we want, without following the rules for crossing roads. After all, this can lead to disaster. Using our accumulated knowledge, we first make sure that it is safe to cross the road, and only then do we make a decision to move on.

But when it comes to our feelings, or we're talking about about our dreams - here the mind can do harm. After all, in matters of the heart it is sometimes necessary live with your heart by turning off logical thinking.

You can't decide to quit your current job and get a new one? Or have you long dreamed of moving to live in another country, but still live where before? Or maybe you like a person, but you are hesitant to be with him? Just turn off your mind!!! In these cases it is necessary live with your heart, not your mind!

Our minds create our fears and insecurities based on past events. If you have experienced such fears before, then when making decisions, you will now experience a feeling of anxiety and fear. This leads to indecision. Therefore, set a goal for yourself, listen to your heart and act as it tells you. Especially when it comes to such a feeling as LOVE.

And so that learn to live with your heart and at the same time make the right decisions, you need to know the following:
1. First of all, you need to be honest with yourself. Do only what will make you happy. Be with the person you really want to be with because you love him. Only if you do not experience internal discomfort, and your heart is filled with happiness and love, will you achieve peace of mind. And in this state you can easily live with your heart and make the right decisions.
2. Love yourself for the person you are. There is no need to look for flaws in yourself, to find fault with your appearance or character. We are all different people - this is our peculiarity. What one person doesn't like about you, another may really like. Of course, you need to develop spiritually, be a kind person, be able to give love and happiness to other people. But first, you must love yourself now.
3. Don't think too much. Don't let fears and worries overwhelm your mind. Because then you will find a thousand reasons not to do what your heart wants.
4. Act now. When we have to make a decision, we often think about what will happen next. At these moments you need to turn off your mind - try to calm down, meditate, or take a walk fresh air, do yoga or other physical exercise. Take a break from the problem for a short time. And then decide what you want and, without thinking about the future, start acting here and now.
5. Let love into your heart. Love for a man or woman, love for parents or children, love for all living things, love for life! Only this feeling makes a person live and be happy.

Develop spiritually and you will learn live with your heart and make the right decisions.

POEMS ABOUT COMPASSION

"THE STORY OF ONE SOUL"

Autumn garden... Wet bench.
And he sweeps up the leaves slowly
A tired janitor in a shabby padded jacket,
And under the bench the soul shrank.

Yes, yes - soul. Ordinary, that's all
She's wet and shivering from the cold,
And he remembers how the owner was caustic
He said: “Soul, you are preventing me from living...

You hurt for every killed midge,
You cringe from the baby's cry,
You give my breakfast to a stray cat -
I can't be with you anymore, soul...

My eyes are long tired of crying.
I ask you, as a friend, to leave!”
She went into the September slush,
And the rains cried with her.

I wandered for a long time through wet courtyards,
I looked into the windows and eyes.
Autumn was flapping the winds above her,
And the thunderstorm argued aloud with fate.

Autumn garden. Wet bench.
And the leaves fall again, rustling...
The janitor in a padded jacket finished his work,
And under the bench the soul died...

These concepts are often used as synonyms, but I would like to analyze them in more detail, what are the differences and what consequences does the presence of these emotions in a person lead to.

First, as always, let's look them up in dictionaries:

Sympathy- a condition in which the feelings and emotions of one person cause similar feelings in another person. This creates the impression of a general feeling. (Wikipedia)
A pity- this ancient (common Slavic) word is included in the dictionaries of many Slavic languages. It is formed from the adjective “sting”. The obsolete sting had the meaning “sad, plaintive, evoking compassion.” (O. E. Olshansky “In the world of words”)
Compassion- a deep awareness of the suffering of another person, doubled by the desire to help free oneself from them (Webster's Dictionary) Take a closer look, each of these familiar words carries its own meaning. What could be their evolutionary benefit? I will offer my options: Sympathy: 1) develops empathy in a person. Compassion is a state of open energy channels. A person in this state connects with energy flows to another person. This gives and develops the opportunity on its own own body to feel that pain, experience, joy or any other state of any person. Join someone with your joy or pour out your sadness on someone else. Why is it important for us to feel someone's pain? Well, for example, in order to learn how to use someone else’s experience, and not just fill all the troubles on your own little head. Or else to learn about the consequences of your own actions. I hurt someone, and then bam - I joined him and felt for myself how painful it can be from my own words, thoughts and actions. 2) And very much important task at sympathy, I will dwell on it in more detail. If you have hidden, suppressed and repressed energy into the subconscious area (aggression, pain, resentment, some other feeling), and you yourself do not feel it in yourself (the subconscious area often works this way, you stop feeling the suppressed energies), then joining another person who has the same energy strengthens your own and it becomes noticeable, tangible. This very useful task of empathy, makes it possible to open blocks of the subconscious, clear energy blockages, this, in my opinion, is the great evolutionary role of sympathy. A pity: 1) Reflects the emotional state of a person, his sadness, sadness. What is the meaning of such a reflection? To show others, and first of all, oneself, that there has been a decrease in the person’s emotional tone, that he has a drop in energy. By arousing sympathy for oneself, a person begins to give SOS signals, tries to find support and understanding from society, and tries to somehow alleviate his own condition. If you join someone you want to pity, that is, begin to actively sympathize with him, then you can fall with him into a low-tone emotional state and from there cry out for help with him. By doing this you will not help either him or yourself, you will simply prove to both of you that you do not have the strength and ability to solve his problems, since you have too many of your own experiences. If you join for a short time, to diagnose the condition, and know the RULES AND WAYS OF DISCONNECTING from an energetically different person, then it becomes possible to make a more subtle diagnosis, to reveal the causes of pity in a person, this helps to find more the right decision to get out of the situation and regulate the flow of energies in a person. This knowledge is possessed by specialists who have sufficiently cleared their own emotional blockages, adjusted their energy channels and are ready to help others do the same. Believe me, there are very few of them, otherwise healers themselves would not get sick so often. How do we connect and transfer information and energies to each other? Yes, very simple. Any emotion has its own vibrations, it’s not for nothing that they say “you and I are on the same wavelength.” If you and another person have similar vibrations, then you connect with them. This is both Cosmic magnetism and the attraction of like to like. If there are a lot of such connections, then you end up in a serious network, a web, from which it is very difficult to get out on your own. This quagmire drags so many people in so imperceptibly that attention is paid to it almost at the last stage of the disease, when the body is already SCREAMS and signals of PITY are beating all the drums. Understand that in this state, a person already has so much strength and vital energy distributed among other people, which requires enormous aspiration of the person himself to get out of this situation. What to do to prevent this from happening? Change your worldview, thank PITY as an important and once necessary mechanism, and develop JOY in yourself. For productive development, you need to learn to disconnect your channels from other people’s channels, for some time, prohibit them from being on the same wavelength with you, free up your vital forces and give yourself the opportunity to use them. After clearing your own emotions, you can open up again and be in touch; the dirty won’t stick to what’s clean. If communication again plunges you into the abyss of pity and this causes a drop in energy, it means you have not completed the topic. We switch off again, study the reasons for our own sadness and sadness, forgive ourselves and accept the world in its manifestations, learn joy :) “There is no way to get rid of self-pity, to free yourself from it with benefit. It occupies a certain place and has a certain character in life ordinary person- a certain facade that can be seen from afar. Therefore, every time an opportunity presents itself, self-pity becomes active. This is her story. If a person changes the façade of self-pity, then he also removes its prominence. Facades are modified by changing the use of elements of the facade itself. Self-pity is useful for the one who uses it, because he feels important and believes that he deserves better conditions, better treatment. It also matters because a person does not want to accept responsibility for actions that prompt him to feel sorry for himself." (Carlos Castaneda "The Wheel of Time")
Compassion: 1) Deep awareness of the feelings of another person is the result of the work of his logical and intuitive mind; awareness helps to understand with the mind the behavior, actions and incentives of people, to accept their choices. The ability to understand, accept and forgive gives freedom to the deepest feeling - the feeling of LOVE. Unifying love, love for the world as for yourself, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. 2) By realizing feelings, we begin to understand their root cause; we can suggest it to the person, help regulate and ultimately change their feelings and emotions. Through this comes evolution, through this comes the development of our idea of ​​everything that is in ourselves. I hope that this article will help you, just like me, to understand the usefulness of our various manifestations, and to understand what is already outdated for you, what you can let go of, and what you want to develop further :)