How to develop communication skills. Communicative communication. How to develop communication skills? Seven good tips

How to develop communication skills in yourself? This question is asked by almost every person who has a significant goal in life. This article discusses the simplest and fairly effective algorithm for improving your sociability (sociability).

Man exists in society. Each personality is formed in interaction with the surrounding people, and it is they who largely determine what exactly a person will become. All life is literally saturated with communication, because in order to simply get food, you need to enter into the process of communication with at least one person - a store clerk or a supermarket cashier. But does everyone communicate with their own kind easily and naturally?

Sociability or sociability is the ability of a person to establish a connection with other people. Such a relationship can be both business and friendly. IN modern concept The term sociability includes not only the ability to conduct conversations on any of the possible topics, but also the ability to conduct a constructive dialogue with anyone.

Many people admit that communication with others is given to them with some difficulty. Not everyone is sociable by nature. In the event that sociability is not your forte, it can and should be developed.

This method contains several recommendations that can help you develop such an important quality as communication skills:

1. Don't Avoid Communication .

You may object that you do not avoid communication at all, but you are simply often in a bad mood, and there is simply no mood for communication. But doesn’t this very mood disappear precisely at the moment when you suddenly saw a friend or unfamiliar person nearby, or a stranger suddenly decided to talk to you? If so, then it's not in the mood, but in the insufficient development of the communication skill. You will never improve the situation and will not be able to develop sociability in yourself if you do not start talking with others. In order to learn how to swim, you must at least enter the water.

2. Communication can be fun.

You don’t need to set yourself up in a negative way in advance, because in this way you predetermine the emotional coloring of the entire conversation. Do not want to listen to the interlocutor? Move the conversation to a topic that interests you. The interlocutor loves to talk about himself too much - start asking him questions about him yourself, avoiding topics that are boring for you. The conversation may well turn out to be very pleasant if you manage it, and not passively absorb everything that the person wanted to pour out on you.

3. Waiting for someone to speak first? But in vain!

Don't be afraid to speak first. How many good friends would you not have if you or someone you care about silently passed by or sat aloof on the sidelines? What is more unpleasant, talking with an old acquaintance or pretending for a while that they did not recognize or accidentally did not notice him? It seems that the first option is much more pleasant, because later you will not be ashamed or unpleasant from the thought that the person realized that you were ignoring him intentionally and took offense.

4. Don't go overboard with the formality.

Dry and short answers to simple polite questions may seem to your interlocutor as a manifestation of hostility and ill will. It is unlikely that he will consider you a pleasant person.

5. A little artistry doesn't hurt.

Top 10 techniques

1. Learn to notice reality and who you are communicating with

Have you ever been in situations when you are no longer interested, and the person keeps talking and talking, not paying attention to the fact that you no longer even look at him? After all, after this, there is no desire to meet with him again, right? And it is important to take into account not only the feedback of the interlocutor, but also the environment in which you are. You can gradually develop mindfulness in yourself by doing the following exercise every day:

• Sit comfortably and try to concentrate only on what you hear. It will take a couple of minutes to complete. At first, just noise will be heard, and then you will begin to highlight individual sounds and understand where they come from.
• The next step is to put all your attention on what you see. Mentally mark each object, whether it be a chair or a stubborn carnation.
• Now for a couple of minutes, concentrate on your feelings and thoughts. Feel every part of the body, pay attention to every thought that arises in the head.

This exercise develops the ability to notice details, the other person and yourself in contact with him. After all, the formation of close and trusting relationships is impossible when you don’t really hear and don’t notice your partner. And so that invisible line will be unconsciously felt when you realize that you need to remain silent or take a break, or vice versa, that it is time to actively engage in a conversation.

2. Read books to broaden your horizons

Considering all the nuances, practice and try again until the result satisfies you. Thus, the formation of competent and clean speech will take place, which plays a huge role in the communication process.

3. Body language

9. Learn to listen to the interlocutor without interrupting him

Thus, you can arrange him to yourself, giving space to speak out, get more information about him, and also track what mistakes he makes in a conversation so as not to repeat them with other people. Tracking your reaction to his behavior, you will understand how you look in the eyes of others, perhaps you will adopt any gestures or words that interest you.

10. Note the similarities with the interlocutor and your differences

This will contribute to the acceptance and respect of someone else's point of view, otherwise conflicts, feelings of irritation and unwillingness to communicate will be your constant companions. We are all different, with different experiences, thoughts, and it is necessary to be able to be in contact with another person, despite the difference in views. Learn to respect not only yourself, but also other people, giving them the right to think differently from you, but at the same time stay close. If you disagree with something, it is not necessary to tell the interlocutor that he is wrong or does not understand something, but simply say that you have a slightly different opinion on this matter, due to the fact that you have lived a different experience. Your task is to find common ground, and not vice versa, to prove your superiority.

Conclusion

That's all, dear readers of my blog! The most important thing is the presence of motivation and desire, then there will be no difficulties in mastering the science of communication and searching for answers to the question of how to become sociable. Take risks, try, fight your fears, and then completely new horizons of opportunities will open before you.

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How to recognize a sociable person.

Most often, this is a person who gives special pleasure to communication. And it does not depend on who he communicates with, he enjoys the process itself. Sociable people are characterized by plasticity in communication, they can freely navigate and communicate in different situations, can easily carry on a conversation, adapt to new conditions and strive to take a leadership position in the team around them.
When you feel uncomfortable communicating with people, you often find an excuse to avoid this contact. To develop your communication skills, follow these mandatory tips.

• How to develop communication skills

It is not advisable to ignore or avoid communication
You have confidence that you are a rather sociable person, but you make contact only when you are well disposed towards the interlocutor and you have good mood? If, when meeting with a friend, you prefer to go to the other side of the road or sidewalk so as not to communicate with him, or if you see an unfamiliar person in the window of public transport, you prefer to take another bus, this indicates that you are not sociable. Develop your communication skills, do not ignore random encounters. Engage in dialogue and keep up the conversation with unfamiliar and unfamiliar people. It develops your communication skills.

• Let communication bring you pleasure

This is the main criterion in obtaining the desired communication skills. We often mentally draw up a scenario for an upcoming conversation, predict a planned dialogue with a person. For example, meeting with an old acquaintance entails a boring and monotonous pastime, since your acquaintance is a real bore. Nervousness and inconvenience promises you an upcoming conversation with higher management. Before an unpleasant conversation, try to set yourself up for positive result, you need to remember that in your hands there is an opportunity to turn the situation in the other direction, to exchange roles in the dialogue. If you are tired of listening to someone's uninteresting and monotonous story, start telling your own story and take control of the situation. Or try to change the topic of conversation to something more interesting to you.

• Be the conversation starter

If you live in major city or a metropolis, it is not difficult to pretend that you do not notice an old acquaintance whom you met in the subway or simply did not recognize him. If you lowered your eyes down, it means that you are not in the mood for communication and, accordingly, they also do not want to contact you. But such a situation that has arisen entails a lot negative emotions, even more than when communicating with an unpleasant person to you. You try to hide from a friend, you experience a feeling of fear, constantly arising questions about whether a friend recognized you or not. To avoid such an unpleasant feeling, it is best to just start a conversation yourself and not wait for someone to recognize you and try to speak. This will help you feel inner relief. This is the main basis of communicative communication between people.
When entering into contact with the interlocutor, do not be overly formal in communication.

When you are asked about how you are doing, or how you are doing, they want to know a little about your life, pastime and about the affairs and activities that you are currently doing. If you dryly and briefly answer the interlocutor's questions, this indicates that you are impolite, disrespectful to the interlocutor and feel hostility towards him.

• Work on your artistry.

People with communicative qualities are characterized as representatives of society. They have a lot of intonations and characteristic gestures. A sociable person is an excellent storyteller and interesting actor. He likes to savor the details, prefers variety in life. Such a person is characterized by an easy reincarnation in various social roles and free adaptation. These people tend to like the surrounding society.

• Try to destroy your pessimism.

The most important quality inherent in a sociable person is optimism. If you set out to become a specialist in communicative communication, develop communication skills, but at the same time are in a negative pessimistic mood, you should ask the question - "How to become an optimist?". Pessimism often does not entail anything good and puts a barrier when trying to develop communication. Be smiling, everything is fine! People are very positive about a smile than an unpleasant gloomy face.

But not all people are prone to sociability. Such skills are acquired by people in the process of life and come with experience. Circumstances, the chosen professional activity leads people to the need to communicate, create the right connections. There are individuals who have little developed communication skills. But in current life If you have the necessary desire, you can learn a lot. Specially created literature, visits to various specialized trainings on building an effective and communicative relationship with people and, of course, training in contact with others will help you become a specialist in communicative communication with people.

According to one of the classics of world literature of the 20th century, human communication is a true luxury. In the process of communication, a person not only exchanges information, but also gets the opportunity to realize his qualities. IN modern society There are many jobs that require good communication skills. Can you imagine a closed journalist, teacher, host of celebrations, PR or HR manager? Closed and uncommunicative people in most cases are treated, if not with caution, then without obvious sympathy.

Do you prefer to communicate only with those who are pleasant to you? Looking for solitude when you have Bad mood? When you accidentally bump into a friend, do you often pretend that you didn’t notice him? Affirmative answers to the questions posed indicate a low level of sociability. Due to this tip number 1: do not shy away from communication! Communicate a lot, make contact with everyone without exception, talk at every opportunity.

It is human nature to make predictions about upcoming events, including meetings with other people. For example, a dialogue with the boss promises a certain tension and stiffness. Meeting a classmate seems of little interest, since you remember him as a nerdy bore. Realize that you are also a full participant in communication. Therefore, you can seize the initiative and set the tone for your meeting. Talk about what is useful and interesting to you. Learn something new, benefit from every conversation, and then every meeting will turn into an exciting event for you. Tip #2 would look like this: Be an active participant in the communication process!

Living in big city, getting lost in the crowd, avoiding unwanted communication, is easy. Downcast or averted gaze, closed gestures and posture clearly signal to others about the unwillingness to make contact. However, such "adult hide-and-seek" is associated with negative emotions much more obvious than a pointless dialogue with an unpleasant acquaintance. In order not to be lost in conjectures: “I noticed - I didn’t notice, I found out - I didn’t find out, are you in the mood for a conversation?” start a conversation yourself. You will see that there is nothing terrible in this. So, Tip #3: Strike up a conversation yourself more often.

Answering the standard “how are you?” and "how are you?" don't be too formal. Dryness and unemotionality of answers are regarded by interlocutors in most cases as isolation, hostility and unwillingness to communicate. Tip #4: Don't be afraid to show your emotions! No one is interested in talking to a robot, right?

The golden rule of any conversation is respect. Where there is no respect, there is no place for trust. Fifth tip - respect the opinion of the interlocutor no matter how much it differs from yours. Respect for the opinion of the opponent does not oblige you to agree with him. Just listen carefully, don't interrupt. After that, note the points with which you share, and then you can express disagreement. At the same time, one cannot argue, tell the opponent that he is wrong, not competent, did not understand the essence of the matter. By doing this, you will only offend him, which will worsen communication. Try, on the contrary, to agree, at least formally. Say something like "let's say I agree with you" or "let's say you're right". The purpose of any dialogue is to find "common ground", and not to prove one's own superiority.

Those who intend to develop their communication skills should remember that sociability is manifested not only verbally. Readiness or unwillingness to communicate is also indicated by posture, gestures and facial expressions. Tip #6: Make sure your face and body movements express friendliness and openness. Even if at first you have to make an effort on yourself, over time desired state becomes natural to you.

Do you know what is main secret sociability? In pleasure! A sociable person does not prioritize the personality of the interlocutor, he is interested in the communication process itself! Tip #7: Learn to Enjoy the Communication Process and you will see how many positive, smart, interesting and wonderful people all around are eager to communicate with you!

Good afternoon, dear readers! The ability to speak competently and beautifully with people is very valuable not only in professional activity but also in personal life. After all, it is much easier to negotiate with your loved one and find a compromise if you know how to communicate correctly. Today I propose to talk about the benefits that competent communication brings to a person, how to improve communication skills and become a pleasant conversationalist in any company.

What's the use?

Agree, communication with people is a huge part of our lives. We need to talk to parents and friends, explain the reasons for being late to the teacher, and then to the boss, try to negotiate a price reduction with the seller. Communication with people happens every day and for completely different reasons. That is why it is so important to be able to do it correctly.

In Elisabeth Mermann's book Communication and sociability. Practical recommendations for open communication» you will find a huge number practical advice and exercises that will help you improve your skills, gain good diction and understand the main points to reach a compromise even with a recalcitrant person.

What is the benefit of the ability to speak beautifully and competently? You can clearly articulate and express what is useful not only at work, but also when communicating with friends, parents or spouse. Having given the necessary arguments, facts and arguments, you can easily not only win over the interlocutor, reach a compromise, but also win him over to your side.

Eloquence helps to win the favor of people. Which, in turn, helps to achieve the desired result, success in certain matters, to establish contact with a person who has completely different views on the situation.

A sociable person is more confident in himself, he is open to new things, easily makes acquaintances, is not afraid to speak in public, he has a broad outlook and many interesting hobbies, most often. Such a person is not closed in himself, he is friendly and benevolent, knows how to find an approach to different people and easily cope with unforeseen situations.

As you can see, communication is a very important skill. In the article "" I give a large number of tips that will help you not be afraid to talk to people, you will learn how to speak in front of a large audience and understand what prevents you from communicating openly.

You can improve your level of sociability only through practice.

This is the basic principle of operation. The more you talk, the wider the circle of people, the more diverse the topics, the faster you will learn to present information beautifully and interestingly. Agree that you can develop artistic skills only by drawing every day. So, in speech, practice is your main assistant.

Increase your vocabulary. Books will help you with this. You can read like fiction and professional, it doesn't matter. Don't want to spend a lot of time? Then use useful tips from my article "".

In addition to reading itself, a dictionary of synonyms and antonyms will help you. In order not to say the word "cool" all the time. There are such words as wonderful, chic, magnificent, excellent, and so on. The more you can find synonyms for one word, the richer your speech. And the more pleasant it is to listen to you.

Sometimes a person has difficulties in communication for some personal reasons. Withdrawal, fear of being funny or stupid, and insecurity. Learn to see the reasons why it is difficult for you to connect with people. I bring to your attention two articles that will definitely help you understand this issue: "" and "".

What does it mean to be a social person?

Be able to do, notice details, be open and smiling. Remember, the conversation should not be based only around your person. If you want to interest the interlocutor, then focus on him. Ask him open questions, share stories from your life, establish a trusting contact.

It is important in communication. If you are standing or sitting in a closed position, showing detachment with your whole appearance, then no person will want to have a long conversation with you. Try to always keep open postures, don't use too many hand gestures, it can irritate people around you, be relaxed and calm - it always attracts attention.

The quality of the conversation largely depends on the interest of the interlocutors. If both are pleased to be in each other's company, then the conversation will take place in a pleasant and friendly atmosphere. Do not criticize your interlocutor, try to find out why he has a particular point of view. Be gentle and kind.

What is stopping you from connecting with people? Do you often have to perform in front of a large audience? What problems do you experience when communicating with the opposite sex?

Talk, communicate, smile and you will succeed!
Good luck!