How to bury a person: procedure, step-by-step description and practical recommendations. What day should the deceased be buried

Not only a person's life, but also his transition to another world is accompanied by a number of customs and rituals, which are extremely important to observe at funerals and commemorations. The energy of death is very heavy, and disregard for signs and superstitions can lead to unpleasant consequences - a streak of failures, illness, loss of loved ones.

Meet

There are several rules when meeting with a funeral procession on the street:

• This event portends happiness in the future. However, today will not bring any changes for the better.
• The procession must not cross the road - if the deceased died of an illness, you can bring this illness on yourself.
• It is also impossible to walk in front of the coffin - according to signs, you can get into the next world before the deceased.
• It is undesirable to move towards the funeral procession, it is better to stop and wait. Men must take off their hats.
• Overtake the hearse - Bad sign, promises great trouble or serious illness.
• If a dead person is carried under the windows of your house, you should not look out the window, it is better to draw the curtains. It is also necessary to wake up the household - it is believed that the deceased can take the sleeping people with him. If at this time a small child is eating, water should be placed under his crib.

Before the funeral

Before committing the deceased to the earth, the following rules must be observed:

• For the next 40 days after death, all mirrors and mirror surfaces in the house must be covered with an opaque cloth - otherwise they can become a trap for the soul of the deceased, and she will never be able to go to another world.
• In the room with the deceased, windows and vents, as well as doors, should be closed.
• There must be a living person in the house with the dead. This shows respect for the deceased, and also make sure that other people do not take his things - such negligence or malicious intent can result in negative consequences.
• If there are animals in the house, especially dogs and cats, it is better to take them to another place during the funeral. It is believed that the howl of a dog can frighten the soul of the deceased, and a cat jumping into a coffin is a bad sign.
• You can not sleep in the room where the deceased lies. If this does happen, the person is offered noodles for breakfast.

So that there is no harm from the deceased, a lighted lamp is placed in his room for the whole night, and spruce branches are placed on the floor and at the threshold. The needles should lie until the very funeral, and people leaving the house should step on it, thus throwing death off their feet. After burial, the branches are taken out and burned, avoiding falling under the smoke.

• When buying something for a funeral, you can’t take change (change) - this way you can buy new tears.
• While there is a body in the house, they do not clean it and do not take out the garbage. Sweep the rubbish at the dead - take everyone out of the house.
• The coffin must be made to the measurements of the deceased, so that there is no free space in it. If the coffin is too big - to be in the house of another death.
• It is better to wash and dress the deceased until he has cooled down, so that he appears clean before the Creator. This must be done by widows. Water after washing should be poured into a deserted place, preferably not under a tree.
• If an unmarried girl dies, she is dressed in a wedding dress - she becomes the bride of God.
• Putting red on the dead - to the death of a blood relative.
• If the widow of the deceased wants to marry in the future, she should put the deceased husband in the coffin unbelted and unbuttoned.
• Things that the deceased constantly wore during his lifetime (glasses, prosthesis, watches) must be put with him in the coffin. There you should also put a measure that was used to measure the body for making a coffin, a comb with which the deceased was combed, and a handkerchief so that he could wipe sweat from his forehead during the Last Judgment.
• If you put a piece of bread with salt under the table with the deceased, this year no one in the family will die anymore.
• One of the bad signs is if the eyes of the deceased are not tightly closed or suddenly open. It is believed that he is looking for someone to take with him, and this portends a new death.

Signs during and after the ceremony

• Clogging the coffin lid in the house of the deceased - to another death in the family. Also, you can not leave the lid of the coffin at home, going to the funeral.
• Men should carry the coffin out of the house. At the same time, they should not be blood relatives of the deceased, so that he does not pull them along - blood reaches for blood.
• During the removal, they try not to touch the door jamb with the coffin. The body must be taken out with its feet forward - so that the soul knows where it is directed, but does not remember way back and did not return.
• Rye is poured after the deceased - so that the road of death is closed, and no one in the family dies anymore.
• Towels are tied on the hands of those carrying the coffin, which these men then keep for themselves - as a thank you from the deceased.
• If a person stumbled while taking out the coffin, this is a bad sign for him.
• Together with the deceased, things belonging to living people should not lie - they acquire mystical power and can drag the owner along with them.

If cremation is to be done, icons are not placed in the coffin - they cannot be burned.

• After the removal of the body, the floors in the house must be swept from the room where the deceased lay to front door, after which the broom should be thrown away immediately. In the same direction, you should wash the floors and get rid of the rags.
• The table or bench where the coffin stood must be turned upside down and left for a day - in order to avoid the appearance of another coffin with the dead. If it is not possible to turn the furniture over, you need to put an ax on it.
• When a dead person is being carried, one should not turn back and look into the windows of one's own house, so as not to attract death into it.
• Forgetting to close the gate in the courtyard after the removal of the coffin - to another death. If the doors of the house are closed until the procession returns from the burial, there will soon be a quarrel in the family.
• If a coffin or a dead person has fallen, this is a very bad sign, foreshadowing another funeral within 3 months. To avoid this, family members need to bake pancakes, go to the cemetery to three graves with the same name as theirs, and read the prayer “Our Father” for each. Then distribute pancakes at the church along with alms. The ceremony must be performed in silence.
• The gravediggers, digging a hole, stumbled upon an old grave with preserved bones - the deceased safely enters the afterlife and will lie quietly without disturbing the living.
• Before lowering the coffin into the grave, a coin should be thrown there - so that the deceased buys a place for himself.
• If the coffin does not fit in the pit and it has to be expanded, then the earth does not accept the sinner. The grave is too large - his relative will soon follow the deceased.
• If the grave collapses, another death in the family should be expected. At the same time, the collapse from south side portends the departure of a man, from the north - a woman, from the east - the eldest in the house, from the west - a child.
• The relatives of the deceased should throw a handful of earth on the lid of the coffin when it sinks into the grave - then the deceased will not appear and frighten the living. As soon as the first handful of earth falls on the coffin, the soul finally parted with the body.

You can put a glass of vodka on the grave - for the repose of the soul. It is also believed that the souls of people turn into birds - they need to be fed by crumbling or leaving a slice of bread.

• If it turned out that extra accessories were bought for the funeral, they should be taken to the cemetery, and not left in the house.
• Some souls are attached to things and may disturb living relatives. If it was not possible to put an item dear to the deceased in the coffin, it can be left in the cemetery. It is desirable to distribute the clothes of the deceased to the poor.
• The bed on which the person died should be taken out of the house along with bed linen. It is advisable to burn them without falling under the smoke.
• The image that stood in front of the deceased, after the funeral, must be taken to the river and floated on the water - this is the only way to get rid of the icon without negative consequences. If there is no river nearby, the image must be given to the church, it cannot be stored or thrown away.
• If there is a mistake in the name or surname of the deceased on the death certificate - be another funeral in the family.
• If death overtook the owner of the house, it is necessary to plant a hen in the coming year so that the household does not fall into decay.
• A widow or widower should not wear wedding ring Otherwise, you can attract a serious illness to yourself.
• If there is a funeral in one of the houses on the street, the wedding is not played that day.

Behavior rules

At the funeral and after it is very important to behave correctly:

• You can not swear, argue and make noise in the cemetery.
• At the funeral, you should wear dark-colored clothes (preferably black). It is believed that this color does not attract the attention of death.

Pregnant women and small children should not be present in the funeral procession. The birth of a new life and death are diametrically opposed phenomena. In addition, the aura of children is not strong enough yet, and may not be able to cope with the negative impact of death.

• During the ceremony, the deceased must be remembered only with kind words.
• You can’t cry a lot at a funeral - the tears of relatives hold the soul of the deceased, she drowns in tears and cannot fly away.
• The bouquets that are carried to the funeral should have a pair of flowers - this is a wish for the deceased to prosper in the afterlife.
• You need to leave the cemetery without looking back, wiping your feet when leaving - so as not to take death with you. Also, nothing should be taken from the cemetery.
• After the funeral, you can’t visit anyone without remembering the deceased, otherwise you can bring death with you.
• After visiting the house with the deceased, a cemetery or meeting a funeral procession, you need to light a wax candle with matches and hold your fingers and palms as close to the flame as possible. Then the fire should be extinguished with your fingers without blowing out. This will help to avoid dragging illness and death onto yourself and your family. You can touch the stove - it symbolizes the element of Fire. It is also good to wash under running water - take a shower or swim in the river.

Weather

• If the weather is clear on the day of the funeral, then the deceased was a kind and bright person.
• Rain at the funeral, especially when the sky was clear before, is a good sign, which means that nature itself is crying about leaving wonderful person. The prayers of the relatives are heard, and the soul of the deceased will soon calm down.
• If during the funeral in the cemetery thunder rumbles, there will be another death in the coming year.

Up to 40 days

For 40 days after death, the soul of the deceased is still on earth. In order for her to be easily transferred to another world, relatives must adhere to certain traditions:

• After the burial, at the wake and in the house of the deceased, they put his photo, and next to him - a glass of water and a piece of bread. If the water from the glass evaporates, it should be added. The one who eats the food of the deceased will face illness and death. These products should not be given even to animals.

• While the deceased is in the house, you need to put a bowl of water on the window or table to wash the soul, and also hang out a towel and leave it for 40 days - at this time the soul flies above the ground, is cleaned and wiped off.
• Relatives should arrange a commemoration - see off the deceased with a meal. The first time a memorial feast is made immediately after the funeral - at this time the soul leaves the body. The second time they gather on the ninth day after death - at a time when the soul enjoyed the beauties of paradise, and hellish torments are shown to it. Then - on the fortieth day, when the soul finally leaves the world of the living to take its place in heaven or hell.

There are a number of rules for funeral meals:

• If furniture is borrowed from other houses for the commemoration, death can be transferred there.
• Before starting a meal, it is necessary to pray for the deceased - prayers help his soul to more easily endure the ordeals and enter the Kingdom of God.

The table does not have to be with an abundance of dishes, the main thing is to prepare ritual dishes - kutya, funeral pancakes, pies, compote or jelly.

• First of all, pancakes are served at the wake. The first pancake and a cup of jelly are always given to the deceased.
• During the funeral feast, you can’t clink glasses, so as not to transfer trouble from one house to another.
• Who will sing, laugh and have fun at the wake, he will soon want to howl like a wolf from grief.
• If a person consumes too many strong drinks, his children will become alcoholics.
• The ninth day is called uninvited - they are not invited to the wake a large number of people, but gather in a close circle of relatives and friends of the deceased.
• On the fortieth day, a set of instruments for the deceased should be placed on the memorial table - on this day, his soul finally leaves our world and says goodbye to his relatives.
• On the fortieth day, ladders are baked from dough, symbolizing the ascension of the soul to heaven, alms are distributed, and a prayer service is ordered.
• After the commemoration, food from the table (sweets, cookies, pies) is distributed to relatives and even strangers so that as many people as possible wish the soul of the deceased to find peace.

Russian folk customs associated with death, funerals and commemorations. Folk ideas about death long before the baptism of Rus' among our ancestors - Eastern Slavs there were customs of seeing off the dead, burial and commemoration. Over time, they underwent changes, and Christianity also had a huge influence on them. Paying tribute to these customs, we often do not suspect what is the origin, what is the original meaning of one or another of our actions in the rite of farewell to a loved one or his commemoration.
Funeral preparation
IN folk customs related to the funeral, there are three main stages.
Pre-funeral ceremonial actions: preparing the body of the deceased for burial, washing, dressing, positioning in the coffin, night vigils at the coffin of the deceased.
Funeral rites: removal of the type, funeral service in the church, road to the cemetery, farewell to the deceased at the grave, burial of the coffin with the body in the grave, return of relatives and friends back to the house of the deceased.
Wake: after the funeral and at the house of the deceased on the third, ninth, twentieth, fortieth days, six months, the anniversary after death, with the ordering of funeral services in the church, memorial meals and home prayers for the dead.
Many pre-funeral actions, in addition to practical necessity, have an ancient, ritual origin. Death was conceived as a road to the afterlife, and washing, dressing the deceased and other actions to prepare him for the funeral were, as it were, preparations for a long journey. Ablution had not only a hygienic chain, but was also considered as a cleansing rite. According to church doctrine, the deceased must go "to the Lord with a pure soul and a pure body." The religious and magical nature of the washing was emphasized by the fact that it was performed by a special professional category of people - the washers. This profession more often became the lot of old maids and old widowers, who no longer “have sin”, that is, intimate relationships with people of the opposite sex. If a girl did not marry for a long time, then she was frightened that she would "wash the dead." The girls who were engaged in "collecting" the dead and reading the Psalter over them wore dark clothes. For labor they received linen and clothing of the deceased. If there were no specialists - washers, it has long been customary for the washing of the dead to be carried out by people who were not related to the deceased. According to church teaching, a mother was not supposed to wash her dead child, since she would certainly mourn him; and this was condemned as a departure from the belief in the immortality of the soul: according to Christian doctrine, the child acquires a heavenly life, and therefore his death should not be mourned. The people have a belief that a mother's tear "burns the child."
In the past, the washing procedure had a ritual character, a magical focus. It was performed on the floor at the threshold of the hut. The deceased was laid on the straw with their feet to the stove. Washed two or three times with warm water and soap from a clay, usually new, pot. The properties of the dead man, his deadening power, were transferred to the attributes of washing - a pot, water, soap, a comb. They tried to get rid of them as soon as possible. The water with which the deceased was washed was called “dead”, it was poured into the corner of the yard, where there were no plants, where people did not walk, so that a healthy person could not step on it. The same was done with the water that was used to wash the dishes after the commemoration. Such was the fate of clay pots for ablution: they were taken out into the ravine, to the "border" of the field, to the crossroads, where, as a rule, there was a cross, a pillar, a chapel, they were broken there or simply left. The purpose of these actions is to prevent the return of the deceased, so that he "is not" alive and "does not frighten" them.
Currently, the washing of the deceased is most often done in the mortuary. However, there are still, especially in villages, old women-washers. When dressing the deceased, those who see them off sometimes experience difficulty in choosing the color of clothing, and most often they prefer dark lengths for men and light ones for women. But it is interesting that in medieval Russia they were buried, as a rule, in white. This can be explained not only by the influence of Christianity, which associated this color with the spiritual, infantile purity of the Christian soul - the soul goes to God the way it came to earth at birth. White color the clothes of the deceased are the natural color of homespun canvas, since ancient times the main material for the clothes of the Russian population.
In general, the clothes of the deceased girl and the funeral itself were special in Russia. This is due to the popular understanding of the essence of death. The death of a young girl was a rare event. It was perceived not only as a transition to a new state, a new form of being, already beyond the grave, but also as a special stage of this being, similar to the earthly one. The death of young unmarried and unmarried people in earthly life coincided with marriageable age, with a turning point in earthly life - marriage. This served as the basis for comparing and combining the funeral rite with the wedding one.
Not only Russians, but many peoples had a custom to dress a girl who died in the prime of her youth in a wedding dress, to prepare her for burial, like a bride for a wedding. At the funeral of a dead girl, they even imitated a wedding ceremony, sang wedding and wedding songs. For both the girl and the guy ring finger right hand put on a wedding ring, while a married man and married woman no rings were worn.
Now there is also a custom to bury young girls in wedding dress, and drink champagne at their wake, imitating a failed wedding.
At present, in the custom of burying in new, not yet worn clothes, there is an echo of the belief that the newness of the clothes of the dead is a synonym for purity, the sinlessness of the soul, which should be pure in the next world. Many elderly people prepare their “death outfit” in advance.
Although now, most often due to economic reasons, it happens that they are buried in the old one - men usually in a dark suit, a shirt with a tie, women - in a dress or skirt with a jacket, as a rule, in light colors, but the use of special slippers as shoes is a ubiquitous phenomenon. They are included funeral supplies(as well as a cover imitating a shroud) of ritual offices. Slippers without hard soles, like shoes not intended to be worn, reflect the aforementioned custom of dressing the deceased in "fake" shoes and clothes.
While the coffin was being prepared, the washed deceased was placed on a bench covered with straw in the front corner of the hut so that his face was turned to the icons. Silence and restraint were observed in the hut. The coffin was accordingly regarded as the last real home of the deceased. An important element collecting the deceased for the next world was the manufacture of a coffin - "domovina", the likeness of a real house. Sometimes they even made glazed windows in the coffin.
In areas rich in forests, they tried to make coffins hollowed out of a tree trunk. used different types trees, but not aspen. The coffins were lined with something soft inside. The custom of making an imitation of a bed out of a coffin has been preserved everywhere. Soft upholstery covered with white material, pillow, bedspread. Some older women collect their own hair during their lifetime to stuff their pillows.
The rules of Orthodox burial provide for laymen to put in the coffin, in addition to the pectoral cross, an icon, a whisk on the forehead and "manuscript" - a written or printed prayer that forgives sins, which is put into the right hand of the deceased, as well as candles.
The easily explainable custom is still preserved to put things in the coffin that could supposedly be useful to the deceased in the next world.
Seeing the dead
If the first stage of a traditional Russian funeral was preparations for the journey to the afterlife, then the second stage was, as it were, the beginning of this journey. The complex of rituals of this stage (removal of the body, funeral service in the temple, funeral procession to the cemetery, burial, return of the relatives of the deceased to the house) is multifunctional. It includes both the fulfillment of Christian requirements and a series of protective magical actions based on fear of the dead.
The first include reading and praying "for the exodus of the soul." Although now in the city they most often try to transport the deceased to the morgue on the day of death, in Orthodox families, and in small towns and villages where there are no morgues, the tradition of night vigil near the deceased is preserved. In cases where a priest is not invited, the Psalter or other sacred books are read by the believing laity. It often even happens that the nightly vigils of old women near deceased peers are not accompanied by the reading of Christian texts, but take place in the most ordinary memories or conversations - “I sat at the coffin, and they will sit with me.”
To this day, such a detail of the funeral ritual has been steadily preserved: immediately after death, a glass of water covered with a piece of bread is placed on the shelf next to the icons or on the window.
At a memorial dinner, a glass of vodka is left in a similar way, covered with a piece of bread, and sometimes this symbolic device is placed at the symbolic place of the deceased at the table. The most typical explanation for this is "the soul stays up to six weeks at home".
The origins of this custom are probably as follows: it is a food sacrifice inherent in all ancient beliefs. In this case, however, it is difficult to determine to whom initially - the spirit of the deceased, the ancestors, God, or this is a ransom from the evil spirit. Now this widespread, like others, element of the rite is in more a means of alleviating the loss, relieving the stressful psychological state of loved ones, maintaining the belief that, following tradition, they pay the last debt to the deceased.
One of the elements of a home mourning ritual is the lighting of candles at the head of the deceased, they are attached to the corners of the coffin, placed in a glass on the foot, and lamps are placed in front of the icons.
At present, the exact dates for the removal of the tepa, funeral, funeral, which are consistent with church rules, are rarely observed, and the clergy who perform funeral services usually do not insist on accuracy. There is an opinion among the people that it is impossible to take the deceased out of the house before twelve o'clock and after sunset.
The dead man's danger to the living was that he could allegedly return to the house and "take away" someone close to him. Measures that protect the living include the custom of taking the body out of the house with notes forward, trying not to touch the threshold and the jambs of the door in order to prevent the deceased from returning in his wake.
There is also such a custom as “replacing the place” of the deceased. On the table or chairs on which the coffin stood in the house, after the removal of the deceased, they sit down, and then this furniture is turned upside down for a while. The meaning of this rite is the same as the method of taking out the coffin - an obstacle to the return of the deceased.
The funeral rite had a certain moral and ethical aspect. When the body of the deceased was taken out of the house, it was customary for the people to cry loudly, openly dressing up their grief with lamentations. They showed a public assessment of the life of the deceased, his reputation was manifested. Over the coffin, not only close relatives of the deceased, but also neighbors lamented. If the relatives did not cry, the neighbors questioned the feeling of affection of relatives for the deceased. Crying had an effect on public opinion in relation to the living. "Howling" was considered a tribute of respect and love for the deceased. By the number of howling women (not relatives), it was possible to determine what were the relations of the deceased with the neighbors.
The procedure for organizing and following a funeral procession in various regions of Russia in the past was basically the same. The funeral procession was led by someone carrying a crucifix or an icon framed with a towel. Then followed one or two people with a coffin lid on their heads, followed by the clergy. Two or three pairs of men carried the coffin, followed by close relatives. The funeral procession was closed by neighbors, acquaintances, and curious people.
When a dead person was taken out of the house, in the past, the rite of the “first meeting” was performed, symbolizing the close connection between the dead and the living. It consisted in the fact that the person who was the first to meet the funeral procession on the way was handed a loaf of bread wrapped in a towel. The gift served as a reminder that the "first comer" would pray for the deceased, and the deceased, in turn, would be the first to meet in the next world the one who accepted the bread.
On the way to the temple and from the temple to the cemetery, grain was scattered to feed the birds, which is another confirmation of the dual idea of ​​the posthumous existence of the soul in the form of its zoomorphic image or in the form of an incorporeal substance.
The funeral procession, according to the Church Charter, was supposed to stop only in the church and near the cemetery, and, as a rule, it stopped in the most memorable places for the deceased in the village, near the house of a deceased neighbor, at crossroads, at crosses, which in some areas were called "deceased". Here, part of the mourners stopped, followed mainly by relatives. The initial meaning of this rite, apparently, was to confuse the tracks so that the deceased could not return to the living, and later this was interpreted as the farewell of the deceased to those places with which his life was connected.
At modern funerals, a ban is sometimes carried out - the custom does not allow children (sons) to carry the coffin with the body of their parents and bury the grave. In the past, the prohibition was due to the fear of another victim in the family, fear of magical ability take the deceased to the grave of a blood relative. Currently, the coffin is often carried by workmates, distant relatives.
In general, the rite of carrying the coffin has now changed significantly compared to the past. At socially significant funerals, famous people, with a large gathering of relatives, friends, colleagues of the deceased, they try to carry the coffin in their arms where conditions allow, as long as possible as a sign of respect for the memory of the irretrievably departed person.
The composition of a modern funeral procession is usually as follows: first they carry wreaths, then the lid of the coffin - the narrow part forward, the coffin with the deceased. Behind the coffin, relatives and friends go first, then all the mourners.
The well-established civil ritual of the funeral also determines the composition of the funeral procession with elements that were impossible in the past and in the Orthodox ritual: mourning music from a brass band, carrying a portrait of the deceased in a black frame in the procession, carrying pillows with orders and medals, farewell speeches. It is interesting to note that in our day there is often a bizarre mixture of civil ritual with church ritual. For example, the installation on the grave at the same time and Orthodox cross, and a portrait of a deceased person.
Funeral
The burial ceremony was performed before sunset, when it is still high, so that “the setting sun could take the deceased with it”
This, as well as, for example, lowering, together with the coffin, into the grave of church candles that burned during the funeral, does not contradict the legal provisions of Orthodoxy. As well as the last kissing of the deceased by relatives and relatives that still exists, as well as the custom on the part of the mourners to throw handfuls of earth into the grave with the wishes: "Let the earth rest in peace to you." However, instead of this phrase, you can briefly pray: “God rest the soul of Your newly-departed servant (name), and forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant him the Kingdom of Heaven.” This prayer can also be performed before proceeding to the next dish during the commemoration.
There was and in some places remains such an archaic element of ritual as the custom of throwing small money into the grave. There were several popular interpretations of this custom. One - as a ransom of a place in the cemetery for the deceased, which is additional evidence of the connection of the deceased with the place of his burial - the grave, the earth. If the place is not bought, the deceased will come to living relatives at night and complain that the "owner" underworld drives him out of the grave. According to another option, money was put in so that the deceased could buy a place for himself in the next world. According to the popular Christian interpretation, money placed in a coffin or thrown into a grave was intended to pay for transportation across a fiery river or to pay for free passage through ordeals. This rite remains stable and is performed regardless of which age, socio-professional group the deceased belonged to during his lifetime.
Sometimes a “tear” handkerchief is thrown on the grave. After the grave is covered, wreaths are placed on the grave mound, flowers in the center. Sometimes they immediately put a cross or a temporary obelisk, a memorial plaque with a last name, first name, date of birth and death.
It is considered a rule not to install a permanent monument on the grave earlier than a year after death.
Natural for those who have loved and lost loved one the tragedy of parting with him at the funeral is accompanied by weeping, lamentations of women. But few people imagine that lamentations like “Oh, mommy, to whom did you leave me ...”, “Why did you get together so early, my beloved husband” contain elements of the formulas of pagan grave lamentations, which are at least two thousand years.
The traditional treat of cemetery diggers, a short memorial meal at the churchyard with a drink “for the remembrance of the soul”, with kutya, pancakes, with scattering of leftover food on the grave for birds (souls of the dead) exists everywhere now.
In the past, a special way of commemorating the soul was "secret" or "secret" charity. She obligated the neighbors to pray for the deceased, while the one praying assumed part of the sins of the deceased. The “secret” almsgiving consisted in the fact that the relatives of the deceased for forty days laid out alms, bread, pancakes, eggs, boxes of matches, sometimes larger things - scarves, pieces of fabric and others. Like all commemorations were sacrifices, so almsgiving was sacrificial food. In addition to the "secret" almsgiving, there was a clear, open almsgiving - "as a token of memory" - the distribution of pies, cookies, sweets to beggars and children at the cemetery gates. During the funeral service, they also handed out a roll and a lit candle to those present. In many places, each participant in the commemoration was given a new wooden spoon, so that when eating with this spoon, they would remember the deceased. To save a sinful soul, they made a donation for a new bell so that it would “ring out” the lost soul from hell, or they gave a rooster to the neighbors so that it sang for the sins of the deceased.
Now, in addition to the distribution of alms to the cemetery and church beggars, there is also a special form of alms-commemoration - distribution of handkerchiefs at funerals to some relatives. These scarves are supposed to be carefully stored.
Mourning and commemoration
Mourning, "anxiety" on the occasion of the loss of a breadwinner, a hostess, always lasted longer than mourning for the elderly. And now, observance of mourning for the deceased has not lost its significance: wearing a dark dress, a black scarf for up to 40 days, frequent visits to the cemetery, a ban on entertainment and participation in secular holidays, etc. It is impossible not to notice that here, too, there is a simplification, erosion of tradition . A longer period of wearing a black or dark dress (a year or more) is due to the severity of the loss. They are worn more often by mothers who have lost adults to untimely dead children.
Up to one year, sometimes widows also observe mourning. Daughters who bury their elderly parents reduce the period of wearing mourning clothes to six weeks, or even to one week. Men put on a dark suit only to participate in the funeral ritual, and subsequently they do not observe external signs of mourning.
As a sign of mourning, mirrors are hung in the house, the clock is stopped; from the room where the coffin with the body of the deceased stands, they take out the TV.
Traditionally in Russia, funerals have always ended with a commemoration, a memorial dinner. A joint meal consolidated the funeral rite, was and remains its not the saddest, but, on the contrary, sometimes even life-affirming part.
At the same time, the ceremony carried the idea of ​​a historical connection between the living and the dead, the continuity of life in the alternation of generations. The meaning of the commemoration is the awakening and maintenance of memory, memories of deceased ancestors. The funeral rite always retained the memory that the dead were once alive, and that remembrance was conceived as an action in which the deceased incarnates and becomes, as it were, a participant in it.
There was a strong idea among the people that prayer alleviates the fate of the sinful soul behind the grave, helps it to avoid hellish torment. Therefore, the relatives of the deceased ordered a funeral service (mass) in the church with the remembrance of the deceased for six weeks after death - magpie. Whoever was poorer ordered a magpie reader, who for forty days at the home of the deceased read the canon. The names of the dead were recorded in the annual commemoration - synodic.
In the act of a joint funeral meal, a certain sign of ritual dishes was preserved: they were more symbolic than ritual. Ethnic flavor can be traced in the set of dishes, the order of their change, the time of the ritual meal. The basis of the Russian diet was bread. Bread in its varieties has always been used for ritual purposes. The memorial meal began and ended with kutya and pancakes, which were complemented by pancakes. At the commemoration, archaic types of food were used - kutya, porridge, which were distinguished by their ancient origin and ease of preparation. Kutya in different areas was prepared differently from wheat grains boiled in honey, from boiled rice with sugar and raisins. As a funeral dish, porridge (barley, millet) was also used, with which the Russians had an idea of ​​\u200b\u200bthe special power contained in it. The serving of food was strictly regulated. According to the sequence of dishes, the memorial meal was in the form of a dinner. The first - stew, cabbage soup, noodles, soup. The second is porridge, sometimes fried potatoes. Snacks - fish, jelly, as well as oatmeal jelly and honey were served at the table. On fasting days, the memorial table included mainly lenten dishes; on fasting days, meat soup and chicken noodles were traditionally included in the dishes. Wine (vodka) was used at the wake, but not everywhere.
Of the series of commemoration dates, the fortieth day was the culminating one. According to the popular explanation, this term is connected with that. that for forty days the soul of the deceased is on earth. God does not “determine” her either to hell or heaven, angels carry the soul of the deceased to the places where the deceased sinned, and his soul atones for sins. On the fortieth day, God's judgment takes place and the soul leaves the earth completely. By popular belief, the soul of the deceased on the fortieth day “appears” in his house for the whole day and leaves only after the so-called “vacation” of the soul, or “wiring”. If the "wire" is not arranged, then the deceased will suffer. In the wires of the soul, the concern of the living for the afterlife of the dead was expressed.
A special role in the funeral rite was played by a towel - a symbol of the way, a sign of the way home. Usually, a towel was hung in the corner of the house by the window, which was there, and for forty days it was intended for the soul of the deceased, who, according to legend, walks around “his places” for forty days and, arriving at the house, wipes his face with a towel.
Nowadays, visiting the graves of the dead on Orthodox Holidays- Easter and Trinity. The primary role in the non-church side of the modern ritual of Easter is played by a joint meal with the dead, which goes back to pagan sacrifice. Offerings in different sets are placed on the graves (on plates, on paper), for example, several colored eggs, a piece of Easter cake, an apple, sweets or crumbled Easter cake; peeled eggs; or on the table near the grave, millet, a few pieces of biscuits. Sometimes they leave a glass of alcohol “for the dead” on the grave. Or, if the family arranges an impromptu meal at the cemetery, a glass of vodka is poured onto the grave.
On Easter and Trinity, it is customary to repair, tint a cross, a monument, a fence (spring repair of the "house of the deceased"), decorate the grave with flowers. On the Trinity, the custom of using wild flowers and wreaths of birch branches hung on crosses and fences is especially touching. So, in the Russian funeral rite, despite the sad, sometimes even tragic nature of its cause - the death of a person - many very old traditions are preserved that serve to unite the family and unity of all our people, the bearer of an ancient and great culture.

A funeral is a place where the spirit of the deceased is present, where the living and the afterlife come into contact. At the funeral, you should be extremely circumspect and careful. No wonder they say that pregnant women should not go to funerals. An unborn soul can easily be dragged into the afterlife. How to ask for forgiveness from the deceased when reburial. From longing for the dead. How to remove damage done at a funeral? If a person dropped a kutya or something else from the table on himself. About the dead and funerals. Tips and signs. Farewell prayer.
Funeral.
According to Christian rules, the deceased should be buried in a coffin. In it, he will rest (be stored) until the next resurrection. The grave of the deceased must be kept clean, respectful and tidy. After all, even the Mother of God was placed in a coffin, and the coffin was left in the grave until the day when the Lord called His Mother to Himself.

The clothes in which a person died should not be given to one's own or to strangers. Basically they burn it. If relatives are against this and want to wash clothes and lay them down, then this is their right. But it should be remembered that these clothes are by no means worn for 40 days.

They wash the deceased at the same hour after death, until it has completely cooled down. Soap is usually left. It helps in many cases and from troubles. But you need to be careful, because with the help of this soap you can harm other people.

They usually dress in new, so that it is on time, not too big and not too small. If there is no new robe, then only clean ones are put on.

You can not wear clothes that have sweat and blood on them. This may entail another dead person.

If a person during his lifetime asked him to wear what he wants, then it is necessary to fulfill his desire.

Soldiers are usually dressed in military clothes. Front-line soldiers are asking to be given orders, because anyway they will be lost or thrown out many years later, but they deserve them and are proud of them. In general, this is a purely personal matter of the family.

There must be a white veil that covers the deceased. A crown is placed on the forehead with the image of Jesus Christ, the Mother of God, John the Baptist. On the crown are words in the old style, this is the writing of the Trisagion song. You should put a cross or an icon in your hands.

If it is not possible to invite a minister from the church, then take care in advance to invite the elderly to read psalms and serve a memorial service. Psalms are usually read without interruption. They are interrupted only during the memorial service.

Such prayers are a comfort to those who mourn for the dead. Also, read this prayer:

Remember, Lord God, in faith and hope, the belly of your eternal servant, our brother (name), and like Goodness and Humanity, forgive sins and consume iniquities, weaken, leave and forgive all his voluntary sins and involuntary, deliver him eternal torment and fire hell and grant him the communion and enjoyment of Your eternal good, prepared for those who love You, if they have sinned, but have not departed from You, and undoubtedly in the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Your God in the Trinity glorified, faith and Unity in the Trinity and the Trinity in Unity , gloriously, even until his last sigh of confession.

Be merciful to him the same, and I believe in Thee. Instead of deeds, and with Your saints, as if generous, rest in peace: there is no other person who will live and not sin. But You are the only one, except for the One God of mercies and generosity, and philanthropy, and we send glory to You, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now, forever and forever and ever. Amen.

At the end of three days, it is supposed to take the deceased to church for a funeral service. But gradually they did not adhere to this, and for not three days, but one night, the deceased spent the night at home. Four candles are placed on the coffin in the corners, changing them as they burn.

All the time from the day of death there is a glass of water and a piece of bread, millet is poured into the saucer. You need to be careful during the funeral. Usually relatives are not up to it. But it is possible to stipulate who will keep order, since it is no secret that a lot is done at the funeral: they remove damage, put photos of enemies in the coffin, try to take hair, nails, ropes from arms and legs, etc.

Under the pretext of "touching the feet", in order not to be afraid, they do the necessary things. They ask for a stool on which the coffin stood, flowers from a wreath, water. It is up to you to decide whether to give it all or not. Blood relatives should not wash the floor in the house where the deceased lay.

Relatives are not allowed to walk in front of the coffin, carry wreaths, drink wine. Lamentations are allowed and after burial, eat kutya or pancake.

In the cemetery, they kiss with the last kiss on the crown on the forehead and hands. Fresh flowers are taken from the coffin and an icon. Make sure that the icon is not buried.

People often ask if watches and gold can be worn. If you have already put on the watch, then do not take it off for anything. There is no harm in the fact that the dead man has a watch on his hand. But if with dead hand take off the watch, move the hands back, cast a spell on some person, then it’s not so long to wait until the death of this person. With regard to jewelry: if you do not mind, then there is nothing wrong with the fact that they are dressed for the dead.

At parting, the face is covered. The lid is sealed and the coffin is lowered. Usually on towels. Towels are handed out to people. But it is better not to take them, you can get sick.

The coffin is lowered so that the deceased lies facing east. Money is thrown into the grave, a ransom for the deceased: relatives are the first to throw. Then they throw the ground. Not only the funeral service is necessary, but also commemorations, which are made upon returning from the cemetery and which are repeated on the third, ninth and fortieth day and in the year.

If you realize you made a mistake during the funeral, be sure to tell her off!

My words are fierce, you are church domes, you are silver bells. An Tyn, Khaba, Uru, Cha, Chabash, you are dead spirits. Do not call to my world, but to your world, do not see, do not seek. I will gird myself with the Light of God. I will confess with the Holy Cross. My Lord is great. Now, okay. Forever and ever. Amen.

How to ask for forgiveness from the dead at burial.

Sometimes it becomes necessary to rebury the dead. But it is unlikely that the one who conceived and executed this understands what act he is doing. People are accustomed to thinking about the dead as some kind of object that does not see, hear or feel, and therefore, you can do whatever you like with it without incurring any responsibility, and that any actions with a dead body will remain unpunished. But it's not. The body is a vessel where for a long time abode, by the grace of Jesus Christ, the immortal soul of the departed man. When the body of the deceased is buried in the earth, it finds its home, or, as they used to say, domina.

They also say that it is difficult for the dead to get used to his new home. And only after forty days after the death of a person, when his soul leaves the earth forever, the body left by it goes to the kingdom of spirits. An abandoned, motionless body is preparing to turn into decay. For it is said: from dust he came, and to dust he shall go.

A sacred place where the flesh is stored until the Day of Judgment, which carried blood, mind and soul in itself, sacred peace, which deserved the one who left this world in which he loved, suffered, worked, endured pain, raised children .

You can talk insanely a lot about every dead person and at the same time tell absolutely nothing.

Arriving at the cemetery and peering at the monuments, seeing the faces of living people, I want to shout: My God! After all, each of them is a whole world. And in each of them this world died...

So think about whether you should violate the peace of the deceased by digging up his ashes touched by decay in order to transport them to another, from your point of view, the best place. Better than?

It is impossible to make the soul cry again about the body disturbed by people. May it rest in peace. In addition, if the spirit of the dead is disturbed and does not accept a new place, there will be trouble. The spirit of the dead will punish those who came up with the idea of ​​re-burying the coffin in an elite cemetery.

If, nevertheless, this happened, you need to protect yourself from possible trouble.

At the new burial place, read this plot forty times. It is necessary to read, standing at the feet of the grave.

In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Keep, O Lord, in Your kingdom the soul of Your departed servant (name). Don't let this the soul of the dead walk on earth, do not let the soul dead alive harm souls. Saint Lazarus, did you walk the earth after death? And after death he walked the earth and never harmed living people. So that the soul of the deceased slave (name) no longer walks the earth and does not harm living people forever and ever. Key, lock, tongue. Amen.

Leave the grave without looking back. At home, eat kutya and drink jelly.

Mark yourself with a cross and say a prayer to the Honorable Cross:

Let God arise, and let His enemies be scattered, and let those who hate Him flee from His presence. As the smoke disappears, let them disappear; as wax melts from the face of fire, so let the demons perish from the face of those who love God and are marked by the sign of the cross, and in joy they say: Rejoice, Most Honorable and Life-Giving Cross of the Lord, drive away the demons by the power of our crucified Lord Jesus Christ on you, who descended into hell and who corrected the power of the devil, and who gave you His Honorable Cross to us to drive away every adversary.

Oh, Most Honorable and Life-Giving Cross of the Lord! Help me with the Holy Lady Virgin Mother of God and with all the saints forever. Amen.

From longing for the dead.

Get up at night, go to the mirror and, looking into your pupils, say:

Do not grieve, do not grieve, do not shed tears! Night-mother, take melancholy off me. As the dawn takes you away, so you take off my longing. Now and forever and forever and ever.

After that, wash your face and go to bed. You will feel better the next day. Do this three times, and longing will come down.
How to remove damage done at a funeral.

Burn incense on the coals at night, saying:

As this incense burns and melts, so that it burns out, the disease of the grave with the servant of God (name) melted away. Amen.

If a person turned kutya on himself.

From a letter: “For some time now, I began to believe in signs, and how not to believe them, if I myself became an eyewitness of the fact that they come true. That's why I decided to write to you: a grandfather died in our relatives, and my aunt accidentally overturned the funeral kutya, all that was prepared for all the commemorations! Kutya had to be boiled again, and my aunt died forty days after the funeral, to the same day!”

Indeed, if during a funeral a candle falls from someone or a piece of bread and a glass of water, set for the deceased, falls directly on the knees of a seated person, then this person soon dies.

If this, God forbid, happens, I advise, just in case, to reprimand a person from trouble with a special conspiracy that I give in this book.

Read the plot until sunrise:

In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Soul, body, spirit and all five senses. I protect the soul, I protect the body, I rescue the Spirit, I defend the feeling. The Lord God gave a commandment, the Lord God amulet said: - Evil will not come to you, the wound will not come close to your body. My angels will sing about you, both on earth and in heaven. The true Lord spoke the truth. Savior angel, guardian sent. Angel of God, all my life, hour by hour, day by day, save, save and have mercy on me. I believe in One Father and Son and Holy Spirit. Now and forever and forever and ever. Amen.

If the deceased was not buried at lunchtime, but after sunset, then exactly in seven years there will be a new coffin.

Children under the age of one are not taken to the funeral and are not fed from the funeral table.

If you are given part of the towel at the funeral, on which the coffin was lowered into the grave, do not take it. The towel should be left in the grave, not handed out to people. Whoever uses it will get sick.

Sometimes, at the wake, someone offers to sing the favorite song of the deceased person, and everyone sings without hesitation. But it has long been noticed that those who sing at the funeral table soon begin to get sick, and those who have a weak guardian angel generally die early.

Do not borrow anything from a family where forty days have not passed for the commemoration of a deceased person. Ina-che and you will have a coffin in the same year.

According to custom, people sit around the coffin all night. See to it that no one sitting at the tomb sleeps or dozes. Otherwise, “sleep” another dead person. If this still happened, then it should be re-read.

After the funeral, they do not heat the bathhouse. On this day, you should not wash yourself completely, just wash your face and hands. You should especially be wary of requests from strangers to wash yourself after the funeral in your bath or bath.

Questions are often asked about the commemoration that coincides with Lent. You need to know that commemorations in the first, fourth and seventh weeks of fasting are made only fasting and strangers are never invited to commemoration at this time.

It is a very bad omen when the first person carrying the coffin leaves the apartment with his back. It is necessary to take care of this in advance and warn those who will carry the coffin so that they leave the apartment facing the exit, and not their backs.

The coffin in the house is not rearranged, they do not look for a convenient place for it. Think in advance where to put it so as not to move it from place to place.

ABOUT THE DEAD AND THE FUNERAL.

How to spend the last journey of a loved one, without harming yourself and your loved ones? Usually this sad event takes us by surprise, and we get lost, listening to everyone in a row and following their advice. But, as it turns out, not everything is so simple. Sometimes people use this sad event to harm you. Therefore, remember how to correctly lead a person to the last journey.

At the time of death, a person experiences a painful feeling of fear when the soul leaves the body. When leaving the body, the soul meets the Guardian Angel, given to it during Holy Baptism, and demons. Relatives and friends of the dying person should try to prayerfully alleviate his mental suffering, but in no case scream or sob loudly.

At the moment of separation of the soul from the body, it is supposed to read the Canon of prayer to the Mother of God. When reading the Canon, a dying Christian holds a lit candle or a holy cross in his hand. If he does not have the strength to make the sign of the cross, someone close to him does this, leaning towards the dying man and clearly saying: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me. In Your hands, Lord Jesus, I commit my spirit, Lord Jesus, my spirit.”

You can sprinkle a dying man with holy water with the words: “Grace of the Holy Spirit, who sanctified this water, save your soul from all evil.”

According to church custom, the dying person asks those present for forgiveness and forgives them himself.

Not often, but still it happens that a person prepares his coffin in advance. It is usually kept in the attic. In this case, pay attention to the following: the coffin is empty, and since it is made to the standards of a person, he begins to “pull” him into himself. And a person, as a rule, passes away faster. Previously, to prevent this from happening, sawdust, shavings, grain were poured into an empty coffin. After the death of a person, sawdust, shavings and grain were also buried in a pit. After all, if you feed a bird with such grain, it will get sick.

When a person has died and a measure is taken from him to make a coffin, in no case should this measure be placed on the bed. It is best to take it out of the house, and put it in a coffin during the funeral.

Be sure to remove all silver objects from the deceased: after all, this is exactly the metal that is used to fight the “unclean”. Therefore, the latter can "disturb" the body of the deceased.

The body of the deceased is washed immediately after death. The washing takes place as a sign of spiritual purity and purity of the life of the deceased, and also so that he appears clean before the face of God after the resurrection. Wudu must cover all parts of the body.

You need to wash the body with warm, and not hot water, so as not to steam it. When they wash the body, they read: “Holy God, Holy Strong, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us” or “Lord, have mercy.”

In order to make it more convenient to wash the deceased, oilcloth is laid on the floor or bench and covered with a sheet. The body of the deceased person is placed on top. Take one bowl with clean water, and the other - with soap. With a sponge dipped in soapy water, the whole body is washed, starting with the face and ending with the legs, then washed with clean water and wiped with a towel. Lastly, they wash the head and comb the dead.

After washing, the deceased is dressed in new, light, clean clothes. Be sure to put a cross on the deceased, if he did not have one.

It is desirable that ablution takes place during the daylight hours - from sunrise to sunset. Water after ablution must be handled with great care. It is necessary to dig a hole far from the yard, garden and living quarters, where people do not go, and all, to the last drop, pour it out and cover it with earth.

The fact is that on the water in which the deceased was washed, they make very strong damage. In particular, on this water a person can "make" cancer. Therefore, do not give this water to anyone, no matter who turns to you with such a request.

Try not to spill this water around the apartment so that those who live in it do not get sick.

Pregnant women should not wash the deceased in order to avoid the illness of the unborn child, as well as women who are menstruating.

As a rule, only elderly women prepare the deceased for their last journey.

Relatives and friends are not allowed to make a coffin.

The shavings formed during the manufacture of the coffin are best buried in the ground or, in extreme cases, thrown into the water, but not burned.

The bed on which a person died should not be thrown away, as many do. Just take her to the chicken coop, let her lie there for three nights, so that, as the legend says, the rooster will sing her three times.

When the deceased is placed in a coffin, it is necessary to sprinkle him and the coffin outside and inside with holy water, you can sprinkle it with incense.

A whisk is placed on the forehead of the deceased. It is given in the church at the funeral.

A pillow, which is usually made of cotton wool, is placed under the feet and head of the deceased. The body is covered with a sheet.

The coffin is placed in the middle of the room in front of the icons, turning the face of the deceased with his head towards the icons.

Seeing the deceased in the coffin, do not mechanically touch your torso with your hands. Otherwise, in the place where you touched, various skin growths in the form of a tumor may grow.

If there is a dead person in the house, then, having met your acquaintance or relatives there, you should greet with a bow of your head, and not with your voice.

While there is a dead person in the house, you should not sweep the floor, as this will bring trouble to your family (illness or worse).

If there is a dead person in the house, do not start any laundry.

Do not put two needles crosswise on the lips of the deceased, supposedly to preserve the body from decomposition. This will not save the body of the deceased, but the needles that were on his lips will surely disappear, they are used to induce damage.

In order to prevent a heavy smell from the deceased, you can put a bunch of dry sage at his head, the people call it "cornflowers". It also serves for another purpose - it drives away "evil spirits."

For the same purposes, you can use willow branches, which are holy on Palm Sunday and stored behind images. These branches can be put under the deceased,

It happens that the deceased person has already been placed in a coffin, but the bed on which he died has not yet been taken out. Friends or strangers may come up to you, ask permission to lie on the bed of the deceased so that their back and bones do not hurt. Don't allow it, don't hurt yourself.

Do not put fresh flowers in the coffin so that a heavy smell does not come from the deceased. For this purpose, use artificial or, in extreme cases, dried flowers.

A candle is lit near the coffin as a sign that the deceased has passed into the realm of light - the best afterlife.

For three days, the Psalter is read over the deceased.

The Psalter is read continuously over the coffin of a Christian as long as the deceased remains unburied.

A lamp or a candle is lit in the house, which burns as long as the dead person is in the house.

It happens that instead of a candlestick they use glasses with wheat. This wheat is often spoiled, and it is also impossible to root poultry or livestock.

The hands and feet of the deceased are tied. Hands are folded so that the right one is on top, B left hand the deceased is invested with an icon or a cross; for men - the image of the savior, for women - the image of the Mother of God. And you can do this: in the left hand - a cross, and on the chest of the deceased - a Holy image.

Make sure that someone else's things are not put under the deceased. If you notice this, then you need to pull them out of the coffin and burn them somewhere far away.

Sometimes, out of ignorance, some heartily ill mothers put photographs of their children in the coffin of their grandparents. After that, the child begins to get sick, and if help is not provided in time, death may occur.

It happens that there is a dead person in the house, but there are no suitable clothes for him, and then one of the family members gives his things. The deceased is buried, and the one who gave away his things begins to get sick.

The coffin is taken out of the house, turning the face of the deceased towards the exit. When the body is taken out, the mourners sing a song in honor of the Holy Trinity: “Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us.”

It happens that when a coffin with a dead person is taken out of the house, someone stands near the door and starts tying knots on rags, explaining this by tying knots so that no more coffins are taken out of this house. Although the mind of such a person is completely different. Try to take these rags away from him.

If a pregnant woman goes to a funeral, she will do harm to herself. Mo-eek be born a sick child. Therefore, try to stay at home at this time, and it is necessary to say goodbye to a person close to you in advance - before the funeral.

When a dead person is carried to a cemetery, in no case should you cross his path, as various tumors may form on your body. If this happened, then you should take the hand of the deceased, always the right one, and run all your fingers over the tumor and read “Our Father”. This must be done three times, after each time spitting over the left shoulder.

When a dead person is carried down the street in a coffin, try not to look out the window of your apartment. This way you will save yourself from troubles and will not get sick.

In the temple, the coffin with the body of the deceased is placed in the middle of the church facing the altar, and candles are lit on the four sides of the coffin.

Relatives and friends of the deceased go around the coffin with a body, with a bow ask for forgiveness for involuntary insults, in last time they kiss the deceased (a halo on his forehead or an icon on his chest). After that, the body is completely covered with a sheet and the priest crosswise sprinkles it with earth.

When the body with the coffin is taken out of the temple, the face of the deceased is turned towards the exit.

It happens that the church is located far from the house of the deceased, then an absentee funeral is performed on it. After the funeral, relatives are given a whisk, a permissive prayer and earth from the funeral table.

At home, relatives put a permissive prayer in the right hand of the deceased, a paper whisk on his forehead, and after saying goodbye to him, in the cemetery, his body, covered with a sheet from head to toe, as in a church, is sprinkled crosswise with earth (from head to toe, from the right shoulder to the left - to make it correct form cross).

The deceased is buried facing east. The cross on the grave is placed at the feet of the buried so that the crucifix is ​​turned to the face of the deceased.

According to Christian custom, when a person is buried, his body must be buried or “sealed”. This is what the priests do.

The ties that bind the hands and feet of the deceased must be untied before lowering the coffin into the grave and placed in the coffin with the deceased. Otherwise, they are usually used to induce damage.

Saying goodbye to the deceased, try not to step on the towel, which is placed in the cemetery near the coffin, so as not to incur damage to yourself.

If you are afraid of the dead, hold on to his legs.

Sometimes they can throw earth from the grave into your bosom or by the collar, proving that in this way you can avoid the fear of the dead. Do not believe it - they do it to induce damage.

When the coffin with the body of the deceased is lowered into the grave on towels, these towels must be left in the grave, and not used for various household needs or given to anyone.

When lowering the coffin with the body into the grave, all those who see off the deceased on their last journey throw a clod of earth into it.

After the ritual of committing the body to the earth, this earth must be taken to the grave and poured out crosswise. And if you are too lazy, do not go to the cemetery and take the land for this ritual from your farmstead, then you will do yourself very badly.

Burying a dead person with music is not Christian; they should be buried with a priest.

It happens that a person was buried, but the body was not buried. It is imperative that you go to the grave and take a handful of earth from there, with which you can then go to church.

It is advisable, in order to avoid any unpleasantness, to sprinkle the house or apartment where the deceased lived with consecrated water. This must be done immediately after the funeral. It is also necessary to sprinkle such water on the people who participated in the funeral procession.

The funeral is over, and according to the old Christian custom, water and some food are placed in a glass on the table to treat the soul of the deceased. Make sure that small children or adults inadvertently do not drink from this glass or eat anything. After such a treat, both adults and children begin to get sick.

During the commemoration, the deceased, according to tradition, is poured a glass of vodka. Do not drink it if someone advises you. It will be better if you pour vodka on the grave.

Returning from the funeral, it is imperative to shake off your shoes before entering the house, and also hold your hands over the fire of a lit candle. This is done in order not to bring damage to the home.

There is also such a type of damage: a dead person lies in a coffin, wires are tied to his arms and legs, which are lowered into a bucket of water under the coffin. So, supposedly, the dead man is grounded. Actually it is not. This water is later used to induce damage.

Here is another type of damage in which there are incompatible things - death and flowers.

One person gives another a bouquet of flowers. Only these flowers do not bring joy, but grief, since the bouquet, before being presented, lay on the grave all night.

If one of you has lost a loved one or native person and you cry over him for an hour, then I advise you to get thistle grass in the house.

In order to yearn less for the deceased, you need to take the headdress (shawl or hat) that the deceased wore, light it in front of the front door and go around all the rooms with him in turn, reading aloud “Our Father”. After that, take out the remnants of the burnt headdress from the apartment, burn it to the end and bury the ashes in the ground.

It also happens like this: you came to the grave of a loved one to tear out grass, paint a fence, or plant something. Start digging and dig up things that shouldn't be there. Someone outside buried them there. In this case, take everything that you found out of the cemetery and burn it, trying not to fall under the smoke, otherwise you might get sick yourself.

Some believe that after death the forgiveness of sins is impossible, and if a sinful person has died, nothing can be done to help him. However, the Lord himself said: “But every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven people, but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven people, neither in this age, nor in the future.” It means that in the future life only blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is not forgiven. Consequently, our prayers can have mercy on those who have died in bodies, but our loved ones who are alive in soul, who did not blaspheme the Holy Spirit during their earthly life.

memorial service and home prayer for the good deeds of the deceased, done in his remembrance (alms and donations to the church), everything is useful for the dead. But commemoration at the Divine Liturgy is especially useful for them.

If you meet a funeral procession on the way, then you should stop, take off your hat and cross yourself.

When a dead person is carried to a cemetery, do not throw fresh flowers on the road after him - by doing this you do damage not only to yourself, but also to many people who step on these flowers.

After the funeral, do not visit any of your friends or relatives for a visit.

If they take the land for "printing" the dead man, in no case allow this land to be taken from under your feet.

When someone dies, make sure that only women are present.

If the patient is dying hard, then for an easier death, remove a pillow of feathers from under his head. In the villages, the dying person is laid on straw.

Make sure that the dead person's eyes are tightly closed.

Do not leave a deceased person alone in the house; as a rule, elderly women should sit next to him.

When there is a dead person in the house, in the neighboring houses one should not drink water in the morning, which was in buckets or pots. It must be poured out, and poured fresh.

When a coffin is made, a cross is made on its lid with an axe.

In the place where the dead man lay in the house, it is necessary to put an ax so that more people in this house do not die for a long time.

Up to 40 days, do not distribute the things of the deceased to relatives, friends or acquaintances.

In no case do not put your pectoral cross on the deceased.

Before burial, do not forget to remove the wedding ring from the deceased. By this, the widow (widower) will save herself from illnesses.

At the time of the death of your loved ones or acquaintances, you must close the mirrors, do not look into them after death for 40 days.

It is impossible for tears to drip on peace-eyek. This is a heavy burden for the deceased.

After the funeral, do not allow, under any pretext, either relatives, or acquaintances, or relatives to lie down on your bed.

When a dead person is taken out of the house, make sure that none of those who see him off on his last journey leave with his back.

After the dead person is taken out of the house, the old broom should also be taken out of the house.

Before the last farewell to the dead in the cemetery, when they raise the lid of the coffin, in no case put your head under it.

The coffin with the dead, as a rule, is placed in the middle of the room in front of the home icons, facing the exit.

As soon as a person has died, relatives and friends should order a magpie in the church, that is, a daily commemoration during the Divine Liturgy.

In no case do not listen to those people who advise you to wipe your body with water in which the deceased was washed to get rid of pain.

If the commemoration (third, ninth, fortieth days, anniversary) falls on the time of Great Lent, then in the first, fourth and seventh weeks of fasting, the relatives of the deceased do not invite anyone to the commemoration.

http://blamag.ru/o_magi/213-poxorony.html

Blagovest Publishing House Moscow 2001

End of human life

burial rite

Commemoration of the dead

memorial meal

What you need to know about burial (Main mistakes affecting the afterlife of the dead)

God is all alive

What does it mean to die like a Christian

Of the questions that you can ask yourself about our life on earth, perhaps the most important is how best to prepare for death. Of the questions that you can ask yourself about our life on earth, perhaps the most important is how best to prepare for death.

Father! Into your hands I commend my spirit (Luke 23:46), such were last words Lord from the Cross. Will these be our last words? And what will we get before our death? We must always be ready for death and try to depart from this world so that our death itself will be a testament to our faith and love for the Lord and, if possible, an edification for our neighbors.

Our Savior has given us the best example. Did he not suffer on the Cross? Was his death not terrible and even diarrheic in the eyes of the whole world? And despite what patience, what love for one's neighbor, what infinite forgiveness, devotion to the will of God! Like this, each of us must die.

When we feel the approach of death, we will try to find the courage to end our life with dignity.

While we have not yet been completely twisted by a cruel illness, weakness, let's think about our past life, remember that shameful thing, which, perhaps, we have forgotten to repent of or have not yet decided. And then we will make a decision to fast for at least three days (or one day for the seriously ill), read (or so that we read) prayers of repentance, and prepare for Communion.

Before Communion, let us reconcile with those who were our enemies, ill-wisher, and ask for forgiveness from those whom we have offended ourselves.

If you still have the strength to reach the nearest church in order to repent of your sins, gather together, partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, then you definitely need to do this.

In the Sacrament of unction (anointing with oil) sins committed out of ignorance or forgotten are forgiven.

St. Elijah Minyatiy (near 1714) speaks about the significance of Communion before death in his sermon “The Greatness of the Sacrament of Holy Communion”: “A star in heaven does not shine like the soul of a Christian shines from the light of the grace of God at the hour when he takes communion. And this is because when we partake, then we become members of the Body of Christ, we unite with Christ. And if our soul were separated from the body at this hour, then it would have received a place for itself with the martyrs, virgins and saints ... My God! My redeemer! May I die, if it be Thy holy will, whether in a deaf forest or in some other deserted place, this is all for me for a long time, if only before death I would be vouchsafed the Communion of Thy most pure Body and Blood! After all, if at that hour You will be with me, then I am not afraid of death: with such parting words as Your Body and Blood, I strongly hope to reach Your Heavenly Kingdom.

If we become seriously ill, we will ask our relatives to invite a priest to our house.

Let us try, in anticipation of our death, to get rid of grumbling, indignation, envy of those who remain alive. This will manifest our courage, and our dignity, and our hope in the Lord, and surrendering ourselves entirely to the will of God.

Let's give our children and grandchildren the last instruction on how to live, talk with them about how to pray for us after death, what to read at our very death, how to bury us, what to wear.

We will divide our property between relatives so that there will be no grievances between them later. We will give (or leave) a part of our wealth to a donation to a temple or monastery, to alms in our name.

But all this is before the very end. In the meantime, we are still alive, even if we are full of strength and healthy, let's not forget about death. “The memory of death gives rise to prayer, tears, repentance before God,” the holy fathers teach us.

End of human life

How to pray for the dying. How to pray for the dying.

When a person leaves this world for eternity, a special canon is read over him, “The Canon of Prayer for the Exodus of the Soul,” which is written on behalf of the dying, but can be read by a priest or someone close to him. Among the people, it is also called “a prayer for departure.” When a person leaves this world for eternity, a special canon is read over him, “The Canon of Prayer for the Exodus of the Soul,” which is written on behalf of a dying person, but can be read by a priest or someone close. In the people it is also called the "waiting prayer."

It does not have to be read next to the dying. If a person dies in a hospital, the canon can be read at home. The main thing is to support the soul with prayer in the most difficult moments for it. If a Christian breathes his last breath while reading the canon, then he is finished reading with a funeral refrain:

"Rest, O Lord, to the soul of your departed servant..."

In those cases when the near-death illness lasts a long time, bringing severe suffering to both the patient himself and his relatives, then with the blessing of the priest, another canon can be read - “The rite that happens to separate the soul from the body, when a person suffers for a long time.” It contains petitions for a speedy and peaceful death of the afflicted. The texts of the canons are placed in Orthodox prayer books.

Why is the retreat prayer read? At the moment of death, a person experiences a painful feeling of fear, languor. According to the testimonies of the holy fathers, a person is afraid when the soul is separated from the body and during the first three days outside the body. When leaving the body, the soul is met by both the guardian angel given to it at Holy Baptism, and the evil spirits (demons). The sight of the latter is so terrible that the soul tosses and trembles at the sight of them.

The canon, read by relatives or friends over a dying person, is designed to make it easier for his soul to leave the body.

Relatives and friends of a dying person need to muster up the courage to say goodbye to a loved one and try to alleviate not so much bodily as mental suffering with prayer.

burial rite

Washing and dressing the deceased. Not a single nation left the bodies of their dead without care, and burial was always accompanied by appropriate rites. Washing and dressing the deceased. Not a single nation left the bodies of their dead without care, and burial was always accompanied by appropriate rites.

The holy faith of Christ teaches us to look with reverence at a Christian person even when he has completed his earthly journey. The deceased Christian is the prey of death, the victim of corruption, but still he is a member of the Body of Christ (see: 1 Cor. 12, 27). His body is sanctified by the communion of the Divine Body and Blood of Christ the Savior. Is it possible to despise the Holy Spirit, whose temple was the deceased? Sooner or later, the dead and corruptible body of a Christian will come to life again and will be clothed with incorruption and immortality (see; I Cor. 15:53). Therefore, our Orthodox Church does not leave her child without maternal care even when it has passed from this world to a distant and unknown land of eternity.

Rites performed by the Holy Church after death Orthodox Christian have a deep meaning. Based on the suggestions of the holy faith, they originate from the God-enlightened apostles and the first Christians. The body of the deceased is washed immediately after death, and the washing should extend to all parts of the body, starting from the head. It is performed as a sign of the spiritual purity and purity of the life of the deceased, and also so that he can stand before the Lord in purity, but on the Resurrection. When the body is washed, the Trisagion is read: “Holy God, Holy Strong, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us” or "Lord have mercy". A lamp or a candle is lit in the house, which burns as long as the deceased is there. Water for washing the body should be warm, but not hot, so as not to steam it. In this case, you need to use soap, a soft cloth (or sponge). Usually older people perform ablution, and if there is no such person, then a woman can also wash. After ablution, the body of a Christian is dressed in new and clean clothes. New clothes, as it were, point to the new attire of our incorruptibility and immortality. If a person did not have a cross, then they must put on a cross.

The mouth of the deceased must be closed, eyes closed, arms folded crosswise on the chest, right over left. The Christian woman's head is covered with a large scarf that completely covers her hair. and its ends can not be tied, but simply folded crosswise. A tie should not be worn on a deceased Orthodox Christian. An icon (or cross) is placed in the left hand of the deceased, for men - the image of the Savior, for women - the image of the Mother of God, it is possible in the left hand - a cross, and on the chest of the deceased - a holy image. This is done as a sign that the deceased believed in Christ and surrendered his soul to Him, that in life he foresaw (always had) the Lord before him, and now he is moving on to a blessed contemplation of Him with the saints.

Before putting the body of the deceased in the coffin, they sprinkle with holy water both the body itself and his ark (coffin), outside and inside. You can also douse the coffin with incense. A whisk is placed on the forehead of the deceased. It is given in the church when the deceased is brought for a funeral service. The deceased Christian is adorned with a crown as a symbol of the reward of the Kingdom of Heaven for the hardships of earthly life. The aureole depicts the Lord Jesus Christ, the Most Pure Mother of God and John the Baptist with the inscription "Trisagion". This shows that he who has completed his earthly path hopes to receive a crown for his exploits (see: 2 Tim. 4, 7, 8) only through mercy: the Triune God and the intercession of the Mother of God and Forerunner and Baptist of the Lord John.

A pillow is placed under the shoulders and head of the deceased, which is usually filled with consecrated willow or birch leaves from the feast of the Trinity. The body is covered with a sheet.

The coffin with the body is placed in the middle of the room in front of the home icons (in the front corner), facing the exit. Candles are lit around the coffin (or at least one near the head) as a sign that the deceased has passed into the Kingdom of Light.

How to pray for a person in the first days after his death. After the body of the deceased is washed and dressed, they begin to read the canon called "Research on the Exodus of the Soul from the Body." Regardless of where a person died, at home or outside, this canon is still read on the day of his death. The reading of the canon should begin with the preparatory prayers, then Psalm 90, and then in order.

The canon is read "for one who died," that is, only for a person who died on that day. Therefore, when reading the refrain: "Peace, Lord, the soul of your departed servant (name of the deceased)", pronounce the names of other deceased acquaintances, relatives, etc.

At the end of the "Following" there is a special prayer appeal to God with the pronunciation of the very name of the deceased: "Remember, Lord our God, in faith and hope of the life of your eternally reposed servant, our brother (name) ...". After this prayer, they read: “Eternal memory to Your servant (Your servant) (name), Lord.”

“Following” is read from the face of the deceased with the aim that God’s mercy, through our prayer for the deceased, eases the bitterness of the soul at parting with the body and the first moment of the soul’s stay outside the body. Then, for three days, the Psalter is read over the deceased, which they begin to read with a petition: “Through the prayers of our holy fathers, Lord Jesus Christ our God, have mercy on us. Amen". Further, the initial prayers and those that precede the psalms are read.

The Psalter is divided into twenty large parts - kathisma. Before each kathisma, the call to bow to God is repeated three times: “Come, let us bow to our Tsar God. Come, let us bow down and bow down to Christ, our King God. Come, let us worship and bow down to Christ Himself, the King and our God.”

After this call, the kathisma is read. At the end of several psalms, separated by the word "Glory", it says: "Alleluia! (Thrice) Glory to Thee, O God! and the prayer request for the deceased from the "Following" is repeated: "Remember, Lord our God ..." After this prayer, the reading of the psalms, the 1st kathisma (or then the 2nd, 3rd, etc.) continues. There are three “Glories” in each kathisma, therefore, three times during the reading of the kathisma, an appeal to God follows with a special petition for mercy on the deceased.

The Psalter is read continuously (day and night) over the tomb of a Christian for the entire time until the deceased is buried. Since the relatives of the deceased in the first three days have a lot of worries about organizing the funeral, one of the friends and acquaintances is invited to read the Psalter. Any pious layman can read the Psalter for the deceased.

It is no coincidence that the Church from ancient times decided to read the book of psalms over the coffin of the deceased. The Psalter reproduces all the diverse movements of our soul, so vividly sympathizes with our joy and our sorrow, sheds so much consolation and encouragement in our grieving heart. Reading the Psalter serves as a prayer to the Lord for the deceased and at the same time assuages ​​the grief of his loved ones.

Removal of the body. Shortly before the removal of the coffin from the house (or the issuance of the body in the morgue), “Following the outcome of the soul from the body” is read again. Removal of the body. Shortly before the removal of the coffin from the house (or the issuance of the body in the morgue), “Following the outcome of the soul from the body” is read again.

The coffin is carried out, turning the face of the deceased towards the exit. When the body is carried out, the mourners sing a song in honor of the Holy Trinity: “Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us”, in commemoration of the fact that the deceased confessed the Life-Giving Trinity during his lifetime and now passes into the realm of incorporeal spirits surrounding the Throne of the Almighty and silently singing To him the Trisagion. Church funeral. In the temple, the coffin with the body of the deceased is placed in the middle of the church facing the altar and candlesticks are placed on the four sides of the coffin. According to the teachings of the Church, the soul of a person on the third day after death, at a time when his body lies lifeless, goes through terrible ordeals and has a great need for the help of the Church. To facilitate her transition to another life, the canon and the Psalter are read over the grave of an Orthodox Christian, and a funeral service is performed in the church.

The funeral service consists of chants in which the whole fate of a person is briefly depicted for the violation of the commandment, he again turns into the earth from which he was taken: “You yourself, the Creator and Creator of man, are alone immortal; but we are all earthly, created from the earth and will return to the same earth, as You, the Creator, commanded: “You are the earth and you will return to the earth.” That's where all of us, earthly, will go, with grave sobs, proclaiming the song: alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.

But, despite many sins, a person does not cease to be “an image of the glory of God,” and therefore the Holy Church prays to the Lord and the Lord, by His inexpressible mercy, to forgive the departed sins and to honor him with the Kingdom of Heaven.

“With the saints, give rest, O Christ, to the soul of Your servant, where there is no sickness, sorrow or suffering, but eternally blessed life.”

After reading the Apostle (1 Thess. 4, 13-17) and the Gospel of John (John 5, 24-30), the priest reads a permissive prayer, testifying to the forgiveness of all prohibitions and sins that were on the deceased, in which he repented (or during repentance could not remember), and the deceased is released in peace into the afterlife. The sheet with the text of this prayer is immediately put into the right hand of the deceased by his relatives or friends.

The last kiss, or farewell to the deceased, is performed while singing touching stichera (prayers): "Come, let's give the last kiss, brethren, to the deceased, thanking God ..."

Relatives and friends of the deceased go around the coffin with the body, with a bow ask for forgiveness for involuntary insults, kiss the deceased for the last time (the crown on his head or the icon in the coffin). After that, the body is completely covered with a sheet, and the priest sprinkles it crosswise with earth (or pure river sand) with the words: “The Lord’s earth and its fulfillment (everything that fills it), the universe and all who live on it.” The coffin is closed with a lid. If the relatives of the deceased want to say goodbye to him at the cemetery, then the coffin is not nailed up in the temple, and the priest blesses one of the relatives to sprinkle the body with earth immediately before burial.

When the coffin with the body is taken out of the temple, feet first, an angelic song is sung - "Trisagion".

Absentee funeral. In the event that it is not possible to bury the deceased in the temple, an absentee funeral is performed for him. Relatives of the deceased, as a rule, order a funeral service in the nearest church. After the funeral service, relatives are given a whisk, a permissive prayer and earth from the funeral table. At home, a permissive prayer is put into the right hand of the deceased, a bzazhny halo is placed on the forehead, and after parting with him. in the cemetery, his body, covered with a sheet from head to toe, crosswise, from head to feet, from the right shoulder to the left, is sprinkled with sand to make a regular cross.

If the funeral service is performed in absentia some time after the funeral, the burial earth should be scattered over the grave, and the aureole and prayer should be buried in the grave mound to a shallow depth. If the grave is very far away or in an unknown place, then the aureole and prayer are burned, and the earth is scattered on any grave on which an Orthodox cross is installed.

The funeral service, as for Baptism, is performed once. But if it is impossible to truly establish whether a person has been buried, one must, without embarrassment, order an absentee funeral service, and the sooner the better. Burial. In the grave, the deceased is placed with a linden to the east for the same purpose with which we pray to the east - in anticipation of the onset of the Morning of eternity, or the Second Coming of Christ, and as a sign that the deceased is moving away from the west of life towards the east of eternity.

When the coffin with the body is lowered into the grave, the Trisagion is sung again. All those who see off the deceased on their last journey, before burying the grave, throw a handful of earth into it. Thus, the deceased is buried in the earth as a sign of obedience to the Divine determination.

The cross, a symbol of salvation, should rise above the grave of every Christian (it is placed at the feet). The deceased believed in the Crucified on the Cross and rests in the sleep of death under the shadow of the cross. The cross is placed eight-pointed, from any material, but always of the correct form. For the grave of an Orthodox Christian, a simple cross made of wood, concrete or metal is more suitable than expensive monuments made of granite and marble. It is unacceptable to place a photograph or portrait of the deceased on the headstone. If relatives want to write an epitaph, then it is best, according to tradition, to use words from the Holy Scriptures or from well-known prayers, and not phrases invented by themselves.

Cremation. The custom of burning bodies, now so popular in Russia because of its relative cheapness, came to us from the pagan East. The Orthodox Church disapproves of cremation and allows it only under special circumstances - the lack of places in cemeteries or the extreme scarcity of funds for burial.

Cremation is not approved by the Church, primarily because for those who burn their loved ones, this action is not edifying: it instills despair in the soul rather than hope for the resurrection. The posthumous fate of each deceased is in the hands of God and does not depend on the method of burial.

All funeral prayers, including the funeral service, are performed over the cremated without changes. Before burning the body, the icon or the Crucifixion must be removed from the coffin, and the aureole and leaf with the permissive prayer should be left. If the urn with the ashes is subsequently buried in the grave, the Trisagion must be read. All funeral prayers, including the funeral, are performed over the cremated without changes. Before burning the body, the icon or the Crucifixion must be removed from the coffin, and the aureole and leaf with the permissive prayer should be left. If the urn with the ashes is subsequently buried in the grave, the Trisagion must be read.

Commemoration of the dead

Special days of commemoration of the dead. The Holy Church constantly prays for all “our fathers and brothers who have died before,” but she also makes a special prayerful commemoration for each deceased, if there is our pious desire and need for it. Such a commemoration is called private, it includes thirds, nineties, forties or anniversaries. The commemoration of the dead on the third day after death is an apostolic tradition. It is performed because the deceased was baptized in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, the One God in the Trinity. In addition to the theological meaning of the commemoration of the deceased on the third day, it also has a mysterious meaning, relating to the afterlife state of the soul. Special days of commemoration of the departed. The Holy Church constantly prays for all “our fathers and brothers who have died before,” but she also makes a special prayerful commemoration for each deceased, if there is our pious desire and need for it. Such a commemoration is called private, it includes thirds, nineties, forties or an anniversary. The commemoration of the dead on the third day after death is an apostolic tradition. It is performed because the deceased was baptized in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, the One God in the Trinity. In addition to the theological significance of the commemoration of the deceased on the third day, it also has a mysterious meaning, relating to the afterlife state of the soul.

For the first two days, the soul is still on earth and, with the Angel accompanying it, visits those places that attract it with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, good and evil deeds. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to Heaven to worship Himself.

For six days, from the third to the ninth, the soul, returning from the Face of God, accompanied by Angels, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their inexpressible beauty. On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to Him for worship. After the second worship of God, the Angels lead the soul to hell, where it contemplates the cruel torments of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day after death, the soul ascends for the third time to the Throne of the Lord, where its fate is decided - a place is assigned, which she was honored by her deeds.

That is why we must offer especially intense prayers for the dead on the third, ninth and fortieth days after death. But these terms have another meaning. The commemoration of the deceased on the third day is performed in honor of the three-day Resurrection of Jesus Christ and the image of the Holy Trinity. Prayer on the ninth day is a retribution of honor to the nine angelic ranks, which, as servants of the King of Heaven, intercede for mercy on the deceased.

The days of mourning for the dead in the deepest antiquity lasted forty days. According to the establishment of the Holy Church, it is supposed to make a commemoration for the dead for forty days (forty-mouth) and especially on the fortieth day (magnitude). Just as Christ defeated the devil, spending forty days in fasting and prayer, so the Holy Church offers prayers, alms and bloodless sacrifices for the deceased, asks him for grace from the Lord, helps him defeat the enemy, the airy prince of darkness, and receive the Kingdom of Heaven.

What can we do for loved ones within forty days of their death? As soon as a person has died, it is necessary to immediately take care of the magpie, i.e. daily commemoration during the Divine Liturgy. If possible, it is good to order forty dinners and even in several churches.

If a person's death happened during Great Lent, then on Wednesday and Friday of each week, memorial services are ordered, and on Saturdays and Sundays - Mass for the repose of the soul of the deceased. Sorokoust is not ordered during Great Lent, since there is no Divine Liturgy every day.

During the Easter week (the first week after Easter) memorial services are not served, because Easter is an all-encompassing joy for those who believe in the Resurrection of our Savior Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, during the whole week, neither mass for the dead nor memorial services are ordered. Only from Tuesday of St. Thomas Week (the second week after Easter) do churches begin to accept orders for magpies and masses for the repose. This day is called Radonia (see about it in the section "Private parent days».

The day of the death of a Christian is the day of his birth for a new, better life. Therefore, we celebrate the memory of our loved ones after a year has passed from the day of their death, imploring the mercy of God to have mercy on their souls, to grant them the longed-for fatherland as an eternal heritage.

On the third, ninth and fortieth days, as well as on the anniversary of death, it is necessary to order a Mass for the repose of the deceased in the church. At home these days, his relatives and friends gather at a meal in order to ask the Lord for forgiveness of sins and the repose of his soul in the Kingdom of Heaven in a joint prayer for him. It is also good to send a donation to monasteries so that they pray forever for the repose of the soul of the deceased. The dead should also be commemorated on the days of their earthly birth, on the days of their name days (the day of memory of the saint whose name they bore). On the days of their memory, you need to order a mass for their repose, a memorial service in the church, pray for them at home, commemorate them at your meal.

Why and how our prayers can be beneficial for the dead. Some souls after forty days find themselves in a state of anticipation of eternal joy and bliss, while others tremble in anticipation of eternal torment, which will intensify after the Last Judgment (the Second Coming of the Lord, when He will judge all the living and the dead). But before that, changes for the better are possible in the "afterlife" "fate of the soul, especially thanks to the offering of prayers to the Church for it and the creation of good deeds in memory of the deceased."

The benefits of prayer, both public and private (at home), for souls, even those in hell, are written in the lives of saints and ascetics, in patristic traditions.

Our prayers can directly affect the souls of the dead only if they died in the right faith and with true repentance, being in communion with the Church and with the Lord Jesus. Then, despite the apparent distance from us, they continue to belong with us to the Church: to the same Body of Christ (see: Eph. 1, 23; Col. 1, 18). Those who died in the right faith and true repentance transferred to another world the beginning of goodness or the seed of a new life, which they themselves did not have time to open here. But under the influence of our minds, with the blessing of God, it can gradually develop and bear fruit.

Nowadays, many people, even when they are baptized, do not go to church, do not go to confession, do not partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, or do so very rarely. For them, as well as for all those who died suddenly and did not have time to properly prepare for their death, the canon is read to the Monk Paisios the Great, a saint to whom the Lord granted special grace to intercede for the dead without repentance.

How to Pray on Memorial Day

Meaning of the 17th kathisma. During all forty days after the death of a person, his relatives and friends should read the Psalter. How many kathismas a day depends on the time and strength of the readers, but reading must certainly be daily. After reading the entire Psalter, it is read from the beginning. One should not only forget after each "Glory ..." reading a prayer petition for the commemoration of the deceased (from "Following the Exodus of the Soul from the Body"). The meaning of the 17th kathisma. During all forty days after the death of a person, his relatives and friends should read the Psalter. How many kathismas a day depends on the time and strength of the readers, but reading must certainly be daily. After reading the entire Psalter, it is read from the beginning. One should not just forget after each "Glory ..." reading a prayer petition for the commemoration of the deceased (from "Following the Exodus of the Soul from the Body").

Many relatives and friends of the deceased, referring to various circumstances, entrust this reading to others (readers) for a fee or order it in monasteries (the so-called “indestructible Psalter”). Of course, God hears such a prayer. But it will be stronger, sincere, purer, if a relative or close to the deceased person himself asks God to have mercy on the deceased. And don't waste your time or energy on it.

On the third, ninth and fortieth days, one should read according to the deceased special kathisma(it includes the 118th psalm). It is called a commemoration, and in liturgical books it is called “Unblemished” (according to the word found in its first verse: “Blessed are the undefiled on the way, who walk in the law of the Lord”).

The Jews had a custom during the Passover supper and at the end of it to sing psalms and especially psalm 118, dedicated to their exodus from Egypt. According to legend, Christ and his disciples left the house where the Last Supper was being celebrated, while singing a psalm, apparently on the 118th: “And having sung, they went to the Mount of Olives.”

With the verse “Blessed be this one, Lord, teach me Thy justification,” the Lord buried Himself, going to suffering and death. This verse is always sung by the Church at the burial of the dead, and kathisma a is read on the days of their special commemoration. This kathisma depicts the blessedness of those who walked in the Law of the Lord (that is, the blessedness of righteous people who tried to live according to the commandments of God).

At home, it is read just like any other.

Kathisma verses: 1, 2, 12, 22, 25, 29, 37, 58, 66.73, 88 are read with the refrain: “Remember, Lord, the soul of Thy servant (Thy servant).”

The final verses of the first half of the kathisma (92, 93): “If it were not for your law to be my consolation, I would perish in my distress. I will never forget your commandments, for by them you give me life,” they sing three times. After that, the chorus is repeated again.

In the second part of the kathisma (after the word "Wednesday"), verses: 94, 107, 114, 121, 131, 132, 133, 142, 153, 159, 163, 170 - are read with the refrain: "God rest, Lord, the soul of Thy servant ( thy servants). In conclusion, the final verses of the 118th psalm (175, 176) are sung three times: “May my soul live and praise You, and may Your judgments help me. I have gone astray like a lost sheep: seek thy servant, for I have not forgotten thy commandments. After them, the refrain is repeated again with a request to repose the soul of the one for whom they pray.

After "Glory..." a prayer petition is read.

After the kathisma, the prescribed troparia are read (they are immediately indicated after the 118th psalm in the prayer book), and after them - the 50th psalm and the troparia are immaculate, or the troparia for the repose (number 8) with a refrain to each verse from the 118th psalm: “ Blessed art Thou, O Lord, teach me Thy justification."

After these troparions, the canon "Following the Exodus of the Soul from the Body" is read.

It should be noted that in the church during the memorial service, the 17th kathisma is divided into two halves (articles) and it is read somewhat differently.

Days of special remembrance for all dead Orthodox Christians

There was a custom among the Russian people to call the dead, their own and others, old and small, parents. The expression "to go to the parents" meant visiting the graves of the dead. The Russian people had a custom to call the dead, their own and others, old and small, parents. The expression "go to parents" meant visiting the graves of the dead.

Representation of all the dead by "parents", i.e. already belonging to the family of the fathers to whom they have departed, arouses in us reverence for their memory. On some days, especially Saturdays, an ecumenical commemoration of the dead is performed. These days are called parental Saturdays.

It is on Saturday that it is supposed to pray for the dead because it is established by the Holy Orthodox Church: on every Saturday of the week, on the day of rest, to commemorate the dead relatives and friends.

How to remember? In every "Orthodox prayer book" at the end of the morning prayers, prayers for the living and the dead are placed. We will not be too lazy to read this small commemoration for our deceased relatives, naming their names, adding to them a prayer request from “Following the Exodus of the Soul from the Body”.

The days of the special (special) commemoration of the dead are five ecumenical Saturdays.

Meat-fat parent universal sabbath celebrated two weeks before Lent. On this day, the Holy Church prays for all Orthodox Christians, including those who died suddenly during the flood, earthquake, warrior, etc.

Instead of the daily commemoration of the dead during the Divine Liturgy, which does not happen during Great Lent. The Holy Church has decided to make an intensified commemoration on the next three days, the parental second, third and fourth Saturdays of Great Lent.

Trinity Ecumenical parent saturday celebrated before the day of the Holy Trinity (on the 49th day after Easter). On this day, the memory of all the departed pious Christians is celebrated.

Private parenting days. Tuesday of St. Thomas' week. The week is called Thomas because the Apostle Thomas is remembered on it. This very day, when the living rush to the cemetery to greet the dead parents with the joyful news of the Resurrection of the Lord, is usually called Radonia. The living christen with the dead, taking painted eggs with them to the graves. This is the ninth day after Easter (Tuesday is the second week after Easter).

On September 11 (according to New Style), on the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist (a strict fast is required), a commemoration of Orthodox soldiers is performed, for faith and the fatherland on the battlefield killed.

This commemoration was established in the Russian Church under Empress Catherine II (by decree of 1769), during the war with the Turks.

Demetrius parental Saturday takes place a week before November 8 (according to New Style; Commemoration Day of Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessalonica). It was established by Grand Duke Dmitry Ivanovich Donskoy. Having won the famous victory at the Kulikovo field on September 8 (21st) September 1380, Prince Dmitry Donskoy commemorated the fallen soldiers before the day of his Angel.

Subsequently, on the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist and on Demetrius Saturday, they began to commemorate not only Orthodox soldiers, but also all the dead.

Finally, by the decision of the Council of Bishops of the Russian Orthodox Church in 1994, Victory Day in the Great Patriotic War (May 9) became the day of special annual commemoration of the deceased soldiers, who laid down their lives for their faith, Fatherland and people, and all those who died in pain during the Great Patriotic War. These days, order a Mass or commemoration at the proskomedia (translated from Greek as an offering) for your loved ones, relatives. This is a sheet with the heading "On the Repose", which lists the names of the dead (baptized and not committed suicide).

On such days, it is good to visit the graves of the dead, to pray in church during a memorial service for their repose, and at home to read the 17th kathisma. Do not forget to remember the dead during the meal. It is very important to involve your children in the commemoration of the deceased loved ones. If they are small, take out an album with photographs and remember, together with the children, the deceased grandfather, grandmother, and other relatives. tell about them. Teach your kids at least short prayer turn to God: "God give rest to the souls of your departed servants, all our relatives and friends, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven."

When there is no commemoration of the dead. Requiem services, correspondence funerals and any prayers for the dead, except for commemoration with notes on proskomedia, are not performed in churches from Thursday of Holy Week (the last week before Easter) to Antipascha (the first Sunday after Easter). In-person funeral services are allowed these days, except for the Easter holiday itself. The rite of the Easter funeral differs from the usual one in that it contains many joyful hymns.

On the Nativity of Christ and other twelfth feasts, the funeral prayer is canceled by the Charter, but can be performed at the discretion of the rector of the temple.

memorial meal

The pious custom of commemorating the dead at a meal has been known for a very long time. It is described by the prophet Jeremiah, from which it is clear that the ancient Jews used to break bread for them as a consolation for the dead (Jer. 16:7). The pious custom of remembering the dead at a meal has been known for a very long time. It is described by the prophet Jeremiah, whence it is clear that the ancient Jews used to break bread for them as a consolation for the dead (Jer. 16:7).

But how exactly at the dinner table to commemorate the deceased relatives and friends? Unfortunately, commemorations often turn into only an occasion to get together, discuss the latest news, eat delicious food, while Orthodox Christians memorial meal should pray for their brothers in faith.

This chapter summarizes the experience of people living an Orthodox life, bringing disparate advice and wishes together.

During Great Lent, if the commemoration (third, ninth, fortieth days, anniversary) falls on its first, fourth and seventh week, the relatives and friends of the deceased do not invite anyone. These weeks are especially strict. Let only the closest ones be at the table: mother or father, wife or spouse, children or grandchildren.

If memorial days fall on weekdays of other weeks of Great Lent, then they are transferred to the next (upcoming) Saturday or Sunday. This commemoration is called counter. This is done because public holidays Great Lent is considered to be Saturdays and Sundays, when the Divine Liturgy is celebrated.

In the first eight days after Pascha, prayers are not read for the dead, no requiem services are performed for them. The Easter canon is sung in the Church. The Holy Orthodox Church allows to commemorate the dead only from Tuesday of St. Thomas' week, Radonitsa, which was mentioned above. From this day on, in the temple for the deceased, you can order magpie, mass, proskomidia and memorial service. From the day of Pascha until Tuesday of St. Thomas' week, only the Paschal canon is read for the deceased.

You should not commemorate the deceased at the table with vodka or other strong alcoholic drinks. Commemorations are days of grief, days of intense prayer for the soul of the deceased, which, perhaps, is very difficult. So will it really be easier for the soul in that world if we drink wine here?

The memorial meal, which is arranged by the relatives and friends of the deceased, is a kind of almsgiving for everyone who is present at it. Hence the desire of the owners to treat those who came more tasty and satisfying. But at the same time, fasting days must be observed. established by the Holy Church. The dead are commemorated with the food that is laid on the day of the commemoration: on Wednesday, Friday, on the days of long fasts, fasting in meat-eating.

Before the memorial meal, the 17th kathisma or rite of lithium performed by a layman is read. Prayers are read in front of holy icons with a lighted lamp or candle. At this time, a petition to have mercy on the deceased should sound with special force.

Immediately before meals, the prayer “Our Father” is read. Kutya is the first dish, which, by right of kinship and closeness to the deceased, is first tasted by his closest relatives and friends. These are boiled grains of wheat (rice) mixed with honey (raisins). Grains serve as a symbol of the Resurrection, and honey (or raisins) are sweets enjoyed by the righteous in the Kingdom of Heaven, Kutya: consecrated in the temple during a memorial service. Then it is tasted by all those present. They serve her. according to custom, on the third, ninth, pancakes and jelly are considered traditional funeral dishes in Rus'.

After the meal, thanksgiving prayers are read: “We thank Thee, Christ our God...”, “It is worthy to eat...”.

But the most important thing is a prayer for the repose and mercy of the soul of a deceased person. Even if it happens that there is nothing left in the house but water and crackers, the commemoration will not be worse from this. If there is no prayer book in the house, then we will read those prayers that we know from memory, we will turn to God in our own words, if only sighing for the souls of the dead would come from our hearts.

During the commemoration, it is customary to leave a place, a plate, a dinner set, some of the dishes in the name of the deceased; this is a very ancient custom.

During the funeral, there is another custom to cover the mirrors in the house with cloth. This is done out of a sense of piety, so that nothing superfluous dispels grief and sorrow for the deceased.

It is better for a Christian invited to the funeral of a loved one in an unbelieving family not to reject the invitation. Since love is higher than fasting, you need to be guided by the words of the Savior: Eat what is offered to you (Luke 10:8), but observe moderation in eating and talking.

What you need to know about burial

(Basic errors affecting the afterlife of the dead)(Main errors affecting the afterlife of the dead)

It is necessary to draw the attention of the Orthodox to some important features that complement the knowledge of believers about the rite of burial and about the commemoration of the dead.

The custom to commemorate the dead on Easter at the cemetery is secular. Until Radonitsa, the Church does not openly pray for the dead, only secretly, at the proskomedia.

You can not leave the dead in the temple for more than one day: the church is not a mortuary.

You can’t make a quick memorial table during fasts and on Wednesdays and Fridays, and also on these days bring a quick meal to church on the eve. In no case should you commemorate the dead with vodka, because this gives them great torment.

You can put and light candles on the grave of the deceased only in front of a cross or an icon, but not in front of a monument. In general, erecting monuments on the grave is not an Orthodox custom; the deceased themselves are close and say that they put a weight (monument stone) on the grave, and the wreaths are like collars. It is impossible to interfere with the photograph of the deceased on the tombstone, and even more so on the Holy Cross.

It is impossible to funeral, as well as to make any church commemorations, of unbaptized people, as well as those of other faiths. You can give alms for them without naming them.

The Church does not pray for a person who deliberately commits suicide. But if the suicide before his death was under the supervision of a doctor and committed this act in an insane state, then you need to bring a certificate of his illness. Alms can be given, but without naming the suicide. God knows and sees for whom such a sacrifice is made.

It is very good to give spiritual alms for the departed (especially spiritual books). Spiritual charity is as much more valuable than bodily charity in the eyes of God, as much as the soul is more precious than the body. In any intractable cases, it is necessary to turn to the priests or to the diocesan administration.

God is all alive

God has no dead, but all are alive. The Savior Himself speaks of this. Have you not read what God said to you: I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? God is not the God of the dead, but of the living (Matthew 22:31-32). Many of us, "philosophizing" about the objects of faith and about the afterlife of the dead, forget or evade the deeds of real help to our dead. Many do not know at all or refuse the Orthodox burial rite and at the same time willingly resort to various pagan cult actions and rituals (abundant feasts - funeral feasts, marble tombstones, wreaths, etc.). God does not have the dead, but everyone is alive . The Savior Himself speaks of this. Have you not read what God said to you: I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob? God is not the God of the dead, but of the living (Matthew 22:31-32). Many of us, "philosophizing" about the objects of faith and about the afterlife of the dead, forget or evade the deeds of real help to our dead. Many do not know at all or refuse the Orthodox burial rite and at the same time willingly resort to various pagan cult actions and rituals (abundant feasts - feasts, marble tombstones, wreaths, etc.).

Meanwhile, our deceased relatives and friends are waiting for our help. They need her! From my priestly practice, I know many cases (according to the stories of parishioners) when the deceased appeared to their living relatives (in a dream) and directly expressed their needs, spoke about their errors during their lifetime or gave instructions, warned us about something. The Holy Fathers teach us not to trust dreams, since most of us do not have the spiritual reasoning to determine the nature of sleep, i.e. whether it is a reflection of real events and experiences in life or a consequence of the movements of the flesh (passions, illnesses, etc.) is it the influence of the dark world of fallen spirits or, finally, is it really spiritual communication with the afterlife, hidden for us until the time . In any case, if the dream seemed to be significant, important, warning about something, you should first of all consult with your confessor, parish priest, or at least a spiritually experienced person.

I will tell you about several events that I remember, related to the topic of our conversation. A fellow villager appeared in a dream to one of my parishioners. During his lifetime, he was a convinced unbeliever, a persecutor of faith and the Church. She dreamed that this man stood near the ruins of the chapel, which was once on the edge of the village, and said, pointing to them: “If earlier, during my lifetime, I would at least occasionally look at this Holy place, at least once I held my gaze now it would be easier for me.

That is the power of the sacred! Even broken and desecrated...

My uncle in his youth and middle years was a believer, visited the temple of God, read the Holy Scriptures. But, succumbing to the spirit of the times, he lost faith in God. He stopped going to church, removed the holy icons from the house. Moreover, even in his thoughts he became an atheist, preaching atheism. Instead of praying, he began to do gymnastics. But death came to him. Being eighty years old, he is blind. On his deathbed, he tossed about, croaked, trying to say something, and all the time pointed with his hand to the holy corner where the icons should have been hung (but the icons were not hung. Something terrible surrounded him, approached, crushed, and there was no his defenders, intercessors, intercessors to God, for he himself once voluntarily abandoned them.

A relative of one of my parishioners died. He was unbaptized. Moved by a feeling of compassion, this woman came to me and asked how to alleviate his afterlife. Church prayer for the unbaptized is unacceptable, so I advised her to give alms for the deceased, namely, soul-saving books: maybe someone, after reading such a book, will accept the Sacrament of Baptism, change their life for the better, and this will be the most charitable sacrifice for the deceased unbaptized. After some time, this woman came to me and told me that she saw the deceased in a dream. He sat and read one of those books that she handed out, which means that the Lord accepted this sacrifice. Many people, even believers, have confused and distorted ideas about our duty towards the departed. They believe that first of all it is necessary to arrange a magnificent commemoration with a plentiful feast overflowing with vodka and rare dishes, then put an expensive monument on the grave so that friends do not condemn for stinginess. How wrong these people are and, moreover, what harm they bring to their dear and beloved dead, relatives and friends. Think about the fact that vodka, drunk for the repose of the souls and the deceased, flows like a stream onto that scales on which the burden of his sins already lies, and yet it is so heavy! Instead, you need to make it easier. Like a Church Prayer - Mass, magpies. prayer at home - reading the Psalter, alms: There were such cases in my official practice. Somehow a woman came up to me and told me that they had recently buried their relative and put a granite monument on the grave. And now the deceased appears to her in a dream and complains that this heavy gravestone presses and torments him very much. I explained to her that the grave is consecrated by a cross, preferably a wooden one. After all, the cross is the instrument of our salvation, our redemption. During life, we wear a cross on our chest, we kiss the cross in the temple of God, we overshadow ourselves with the sign of the cross, and after death, the place of our rest should be consecrated with a cross, but not with a piece of granite or marble. Another of my parishioners appeared in a dream, shortly after the funeral, He said: "Everything is fine, but only the clamps bother me a lot." Collars are wreaths with which we fill up the graves of our dead. But this is a legacy pagan rites, the Orthodox burial rite does not require this.

There was another case. Once I served a lithium for the deceased. After that, at night she appeared in a dream to her sister and thanked her. She said: “Until now, it’s as if a stone lay on me, but now it has been removed.” That's the meaning of lithium!

One day they invited me to perform trebu at home. This village, where I should have gone, was located five kilometers from our parish. I was able to get out only in the evening, it was already getting dark. Finished quite late, so had to stay overnight. At dawn I was awakened by a knock on the door. A young woman came from the village. It was felt that she was in a state strong commotion. At first, when she saw me, Oka froze, as if shocked by something, then she quickly began to explain. And here's what happened. At night, her father-in-law, who had died a few years ago, appeared to her in a dream and said: “A priest came to the village, he is there and there (named the place where I spent the night), go. ask him to bury me, otherwise I am lying unburied with you. The woman told me that at the time when her father-in-law died, they did not have a priest, so they buried him without a funeral. And what was especially surprising, this woman saw her father-in-law only once - when he was already lying in a coffin, during his life she did not know him and never talked to him. I must say that I don’t like funerals in absentia, but there was a special need here (God’s Providence about the deceased was seen), so we buried him on the same day.

One Friday during Bright Week, a woman catches up with me and says with tears: “Father, shouldn’t I sing my daughter’s funeral again?” And the following happened: at the time when this woman was away, a dead man was arbitrarily buried in the grave of her daughter. The woman came home and on the first night she sees in a dream a daughter who died ten years ago, who tells her: “Mom, I myself am a sinner, but why did you put a drunkard in my grave?”

“Indeed, it turned out later that a woman was buried, to death; drunk with vodka). In the morning, the mother rushed to the cemetery and was surprised to see a fresh grave. I explained to this woman that her daughter's funeral was not required a second time. but it is necessary to serve a memorial service. One ninety-year old woman said that on the fortieth day after her death, a familiar psalmist appeared to her in a dream. During her lifetime, she helped him with the housework: she washed floors, dishes, and did laundry. He sadly said: “Why do you pray so little, because there is no better help for us than reading the Psalter.” Once a girl came to me to be baptized with her sister, a girl. After receiving Holy Baptism, they told that their mother twice had a dead husband in a dream and said: "Baptize the children."

Archpriest Valentin (Morbasob)

From the answers of Fr. Valentina (Mordasova) to parishioners' questions

There is a belief that until the fortieth day nothing can be given away from the things of the deceased. Is this true?

This is a belief inspired by the devil. On the contrary, it is necessary to do good for the deceased. Donate Cahors wine (for the Holy Mysteries), flour (for prosphora), wax (for candles), distribute from the belongings of the deceased, buy sacred books (and distribute to believers) before the fortieth day, and not after. When is it necessary to intercede for the accused - before the trial or after the trial? So here the soul goes through ordeals, judgment is made, it is necessary to intercede for it to pray and do works of mercy, but people do not do this.

Is it possible to place a photograph of the deceased on the grave or grave cross? Should I take care of the grave? Is it possible to put tables, benches, eat?

Under no circumstances is a photo allowed. Pious believers put a case with an icon and a lamp. Also, you can not put tables, benches, and eat. This is a pagan custom. Believers commemorate the dead with a prayer, some read the Seraphim Rule.

Is it possible to put a monument on which a cross is carved on the grave?

On the grave there should be only a cross.

There is a custom to light candles or lamps on the grave. Is it correct?

You can put candles on the grave provided that these candles burn in front of the icon, and not in front of a monument or photograph of the deceased.

Who and by whose blessing can use those left from the eve? Who are these products for?

This is the job of the priest who blesses. The bad thing is that we are busy in the temple “not with JESUS ​​.. but. KUSOM".

Is it allowed to bring fast foods on the eve of fasting days?

Better fast.

Many people go to the cemetery on the first day of Easter.. Is this custom correct?

This is a modern custom. Believers know that the commemoration of the dead begins after Antipascha. Now there are such customs that there is no seeing off a dead person without vodka. And a folk proverb says: “Whoever commemorates the dead with vodka, prepares them for great torment.”

Is it necessary to leave for forty days in the church the icon that was on the deceased during the funeral, and where to put it then?

There is a custom that the icon remains until the fortieth day in the temple, and on the fortieth day (or after) it is taken home. The icon is not placed in the coffin, Theophan the Recluse writes about this.

How often and on what better days should one visit the graves of loved ones and what is desirable to do there? Can you bring dogs with you?

On the days of remembrance of the dead, if it does not distract from the temple, otherwise visit the graves on another day. Read from the Psalter a kathisma or the Seraphim Rule. Dogs are not allowed in the cemetery, especially in the fence where the temple is located.

Is it good to decorate the graves of loved ones?

Decorating the graves of the departed does not bring any benefit to the departed, but even harms their souls.

What is more important on the day of remembrance of loved ones: to visit the cemetery or serve mass in the Church?

Serving mass in the temple is more important than visiting the graves of relatives.

What is most important when commemorating the dead: almsgiving, memorial service, mass?

Everything is good and pleasant for the deceased, but if the deceased did not believe much or died without a cross, then almsgiving is better for him than prayer.

Is it good to invite a priest to serve a memorial service at the grave?

There was a case when, after the service at the grave, the deceased appeared to a relative and said: “Until now, it’s like a stone lay on me, but as soon as you served lithium for me, it was as if the stone was removed from me.”

Heard that the dead Bright Week worthy of the Kingdom of Heaven. Is it so?

This is correct, but not for everyone. Those who wore the cross, communed during Great Lent, repented, lived piously, they are truly worthy of a blessed life. And who did not have it, he will not receive it.

Can a priest, in the absence of a church nearby and the impossibility of transportation, perform a funeral service at home or necessarily in a church?

Of course, it can, but the deceased is brought to the temple in order to be prayed for at the Liturgy.

Is it possible to put candles for the repose of the throne?

There is a special place for this - the eve, and it should be set there.

Is it possible to commemorate the dead in the temple as a result of an illness caused by drunkenness?

It is possible if they were Orthodox and believers and did not die from drunkenness itself (did not get drunk to death).