How to encourage your husband to earn more? Is your family budget bursting at the seams? How to motivate your husband

Happiness and well-being in the family largely depend on the desire of a man to. Thanks to their intuition, will, charm and sophistication, women are always able to help their chosen one reach career heights, earn more money, to become successful. It is difficult to motivate a husband to do anything by reproaching or expressing dissatisfaction with the lack of money. The man in the family usually dominates, and if he cannot provide decent life to his loved ones, this does not mean that he has no desire to take care of his wife and children. It often happens that he does not know how to do it, so the woman must help him.

Love and faith in a husband will make him confident, and vice versa - mutual reproaches lead to emptiness and disappointment, where there are no winners. When a man earns little money, and the wife constantly shows her discontent, it collapses. This often leads to a breakdown in relationships. Children in such families develop low self-esteem, some cannot for life.

Core Motivation

Who will dispute that a man is considered the main earner, and a woman - the keeper of the family hearth? Her task is to protect and inspire the father of the family to make more money.

Often, the spouse does not even understand what kind of family budget is needed so that it is enough to solve everyday problems.

Wives who seek to re-educate their husband, rather than tactfully motivate, as a rule, lose. The moral foundations and habits of an adult are difficult to remake. But many women manage to create such a moral environment that the husband “grows wings”, and he is capable of much, so the woman always remains the main motivation for him.

Proving her love and faith in him every day, a woman quietly turns her man into a worthy and successful person although this sometimes takes years.

Praise and approval

A man should always feel that he is loved in the family environment, that he is valued and trusted, even if he does not succeed. Praise, reassure that efforts, work will definitely receive material and moral rewards, even if not very quickly - the main task life companions. With constant support, the husband begins to understand that he has for whom and what to try, he has a desire to do as much as possible, earn money, and improve his professional level.

Trusting relationship

The microclimate in the family depends on the woman. Building relationships with a mutual romantic connection should also be accompanied by friendly relations. Without quarrels, conflicts, a man will be open and trusting. A woman should become a reliable and faithful friend for her husband. After work, he will only rush home, where he is waiting for sincerity and support.

He will talk about any troubles that occur outside the home with the hope of understanding, and joint problem solving will help maintain his psychological balance.

This contributes to persistent opposition to adversity and adequate decision-making in a given situation.

Women's tricks

The situations are different, the complexity male character is not always subject to unraveling, and women's efforts often come to a standstill. Husbands become withdrawn, and this condition leads to difficult relationships. Being smart, some wives provoke their man to take action, coming up with different ways:

• some start a conversation with a close friend or parents about the need for money to purchase the necessary household appliances;
• others complain about the inability to buy children clothes or a new toy;
• still others complain about how difficult it is for kids to live when their peers can visit amusement rides, travel with their parents, etc.

Perhaps a casually overheard conversation motivates a man to take decisive action, he will cast aside his painful doubts and begin to earn money.

Another way is to show your husband the strength of your personality, calmly explain to him that together they can overcome difficulties, survive any troubles, hinting that success largely depends on him. Such confidential conversations often make a man think about his family, right decisions are found quickly.

Mutual goals

Women's entrepreneurial spirit is capable not only of making life together content, interesting. By offering, for example, an exciting trip to your husband, you can motivate him to earn money. The main thing is to interest him in the idea, and when there is a goal, then everything is surmountable.

The appearance of new furniture, household appliances, pleasant accessories in the house always creates high spirits, and when, without pressure, showing maximum tact, a woman achieves that her husband wants to update the interior himself, then you can start discussing upcoming purchases. In such cases, a man feels strength, his indispensability, and certainly strives to earn even more money.

Motivation with the help of children

Women's efforts are endless in an effort to make their family financially prosperous. After all, much in the life and character of a person depends on what his childhood was like. Some smart mothers know how to set up their adored man so that he will not allow his children to be limited in their full development. Now it largely depends on the financial situation.

Babies communicate with mom more often, so she can always tell her father about cherished desire a child in a calm, confidential atmosphere, without reproaching him for not having enough money for travel or classes in a circle.

It must be remembered that men often do not know prices, and joint shopping will “open your eyes” to how much you need to earn so that his family does not need anything.

What else lies behind the success of a man

It will be more difficult for a child who has received cuffs from childhood from an unlearned lesson or petty pranks, hearing constant shouting and scolding, to become a successful person in the future, it will be difficult to motivate him. He has with early age there is a firm conviction that he is good for nothing. An adult man also begins to gradually strengthen the belief that he is a loser, if you constantly convince him of this, and the aggressive motivation on the part of a woman to make her husband earn more money - through discontent, reproaches, scandals - leads to the fact that the family is falling apart.

A man is unconsciously attracted to warm relationships that he finds elsewhere.

A man is by nature less expansive, so he needs bright emotions from the opposite sex. Reaction to negative behavior loved one should be as restrained as possible, because if you react violently, the husband will subconsciously provoke such behavior, which will lead to alienation between the spouses. But a woman should remember that any positive achievements in work, everyday life should be accompanied by a surge of bright emotions. Wisdom lies in her complete cessation of noticing the bad sides of her beloved and actively showing sincere interest, attention to good qualities spouse.

The way to make a husband earn more lies also in the fact that by creating a situation in which he is obliged to bring money, you can save the family, make it clear to the man that he is the reliable support. The situation in which a wife announces to her husband that she will no longer go to work, but will take care of the household, is not always accepted unambiguously. But for some, this decision becomes a lifesaver. The affairs of the spouse imperceptibly "go uphill", and the wife becomes a real keeper of the family hearth.

It is not necessary for everyone to quit work, you can simply perceive it not as the main incentive, but as an application, while the main thing is the idea of ​​​​the authority of the husband. Many women act wisely when they choose to support and inspire their husbands in the desire to ensure a comfortable existence not only for themselves, their children, but also future grandchildren as the main motivation for building a strong material base.

A promising way is to teach your husband to get joy, pleasure from the opportunity to earn more, provide for his family. The wife is faced with the task of helping, recognizing, feeling and directing him on the right path. In the first place are feelings, sensations that help a man set goals. For example, you can plan something for a joint future:

• build a cottage for yourself or your parents;
• relax with the whole family by the sea;
• set aside money for your child's education.

This is the result of the chosen strategy, in which we must not forget that an equal partnership rarely leads to family happiness. A man must decide and plan for himself. Responsibility gives him strength, significance. For a woman, such a burden often leads to disappointment, so delegating rights to her husband will help her develop successfully. family relations.

Girls saw their men, harass them with claims and reproaches, and then wonder why their husbands earn little, drink beer all day and play computer games. Most girls simply do not know how to motivate a man, inspire him, and instead provoke scandals.

Dear girls, get ready! I'll tell you about two techniques of motivation, which will help unstick a man from the sofa and make him act. These techniques are just a piece of the powerful arsenal that is contained in my books and show trainings. But even using a couple of tricks, you can cheer up your man today.

How to motivate a man, and is it manipulation?

Before you master the first two techniques, I will explain to you the difference between motivation and manipulation. The technology I give girls can be compared to nuclear weapons. It's one thing - if you clumsily unleash the full power of this weapon on the whole state, which can be considered your family, and another - if you direct this knowledge in a peaceful direction, thereby maintaining the financial security of your family.

Motivation is aimed at creation male personality, and manipulation - to its destruction, suppression. A highly spiritual girl with bright intentions inspires her husband, gives him energy for new labor exploits. A girl in whom there is no spirituality just wants to “swindle for money” - beg for a fur coat, a new car the color of nail polish and, as a rule, take more than a man is able to give, “rob” him.

By motivating a man, a girl strives to obtain long-term benefits for everyone - for herself, her husband and children. And the purpose of manipulation is a short-term benefit for oneself, the selfish satisfaction of one's desires.

When you say words of motivation to a man, this does not mean that you are selfish and mercantile and in such a cunning way are trying to drive him under the heel, to force him to do something your way. Do you want him to be successful, earn a lot, give you gifts and provide a decent life for children? There is nothing reprehensible in this.

For a successful person, any external influence is a motivation. Any problem stimulates him to develop physically, intellectually and spiritually. It is only the losers who transfer the "arrows" to others - they shift the responsibility to a bad boss and participants in an unfortunate set of circumstances. Losers complain that everyone around them is trying to manipulate, and desperately defend themselves even from those who wish them well.

The very division into motivation and manipulation makes a person weaker. Therefore, accept for yourself that any impact that brings positive or negative emotions, is the motivation.

And remember that the most terrible sin V family life is indifference. If a man is lying on the couch, make him move in any way, even if you have to give him an emotional thrashing. So you will raise him to exploits, and pump your leadership skills, because a wife should be a manager, a director for her husband (only he should not know about it!).

As I often say, we all use each other from the word "benefit". So feel free to take these techniques and practice on your man! This will only make things better for everyone.

How to motivate a man for success and big earnings?

TECHNIQUE #1

It is called "Temporary Motivation" . To begin with, think about the past, future and present of your man, remember some Interesting Facts from his biography, merits, achievements and deeds that he did for you. In your motivational speech, you need to start with his past, then move to the future tense, and then return to the present moment.

Past

Remember how he was at the time of your first meeting. And say, for example: “I remember what you were like when I first saw you. I had the feeling that the whole world around me froze, the cars on the street stopped moving, there was more light. You moved, and I thought that I already want to marry you and give you three children, although I didn’t even know your name.

Talk about his career: “Remember how many problems you had when you started your first business? And you destroyed them all. Everyone envied you. You left no chance for small competitors and made a successful project.”

You can remember his feat: “Do you remember how you protected me from a dog in the street? I was very scared then, and you, like a fearless knight, saved me.

Future

Tell him that he can achieve even greater results. Use phrases like “The whole world is at your feet”, “You were born the best of the best”, “You will have big business competitors will be afraid of you.

Or tell your man some motivating words that visualize a picture of your joint future: "Someday you will drive up to your country house in his new expensive car. You will approach the gate, stop for a moment and realize how much you have achieved. We will meet you with children, our faces will be filled with happiness, and we will be grateful to you for every day of our calm, stable life.

The present

“It doesn't matter what happens now. What matters is who you are now. What is happening only makes you stronger. Look around. Is this what you wanted? What happened? Who clipped your wings? Give yourself a chance and join the fight. Every great man has had moments of doubt. And I know that you will take action and rise.”

Help him look at the situation soberly, objectively. Show that nothing terrible happened, the world did not collapse, and the difficulties are temporary and easily overcome.

TECHNIQUE #2

It is called "Muzzle on the table" .

You don't always have to say good things. Over time, your man will relax, and compliments will lose their magic power. To cheer him up, you can hit him “on the table with his face” several times - not in the literal sense, of course.

Build your motivational speech from plus to minus. First say "plus" - make a compliment, recognize its merits and positive traits. Then go to a small "minus" - speak the problem. Then double the power of the "plus": tell him how wonderful he is and what global prospects open up for him. And with the same redoubled force, slam it “on the table”, again going towards the “minus”. And so alternate several times, increasing the strength of the impact.

In this way, you swing it on an emotional swing. At the end there should be a big “plus” - at this moment he will have an insight, and he will not be able to remain in a passive state, but will want to do something.

From childhood, we were taught that showing our emotions is bad. Parents and caregivers said: "Don't scream," "Don't cry," "Don't laugh out loud," "Behave." And by the age of 10, we learned to hide our emotions. By the age of 30, people generally become dry, insensitive, like old people. Your task is to awaken feelings and emotions in a man. Let it boil from the inside - from this, sprouts of life will break through in it, which will then grow into money trees.

In this article, I told only two techniques to motivate a man. And in my book "All women are like women, and I'm a fool for a million" you will find about 20 techniques - a whole arsenal! So I advise you to read it and work out all the techniques from there in real communication.

Phrases do not need to be memorized and pronounced verbatim. Adjust them for yourself, for a specific situation. It doesn't have to be short phrases. You need to compose a long beautiful text lasting at least one minute.

Practice - try to write the text of a motivational speech that you will tell your man (only so that he does not find a draft on your table!) The speech should sound natural, spontaneous, sincere, like improvisation. Over time, you will not need to write blanks, you will give speeches on the go that Donald Trump himself will envy you!

One of the postulates of worldly wisdom says:

Until a man marries some girl, he will never find peace of mind, that is, he will not be able to embark on the true path. Even if he tries his best, on his own, without the help of a third person, or rather, his wife, to take the true path, he will never be able to do this. Even if he can, then he will definitely lose his way someday, that is, he will not be able to be stable in observing all the prescriptions of his religion, no matter how much he would not like it internally, until he marries. Of course, in the event that he suddenly does not become a monk.

But women can. Well, that's why they are women!

Why can't men?

Because for them, the incentive for development in life is women, and for women, money. It is a fact.

Men must earn money in order to stimulate women, and in order to earn money, women, in turn, must stimulate men so that men can respond the same to them.

What can women do to stimulate men? By yourself - in a word.

For a man, more is not needed from a woman.

It can also be said in another way:

A woman was created to simulate a man for development, and a man - in order to reciprocate her.

Women who demand that men first stimulate them with money so that they can return the same to them - these are, to put it mildly, "corrupt women", let's say so.

Money is not made without incentive.

Men who make money without an incentive are all, without exception, potential “ladies”, who subsequently “buy” this “stimulus” for themselves from “indecent” ladies, or prefer not to buy anything at all if this is a noble man.

Money without an incentive can only be made by women without “ulterior motives”, which is actually what everyone does: they earn money by stimulating themselves, and then they complain about men, because by earning money, women violate the natural course of things. One comes from the other. This is the law established by nature itself.

A woman must first stimulate a man with her kindness, tenderness and care so that the man has the strength, desire and inspiration to go “hunting” and get “food”, that is, to earn money. Men need an incentive to do this, unlike women.

Women are stimulated by the money itself, which is why they strive to earn it, not needing men and not content with what men earn, and men - women, for whom, in principle, they earn this very money (if they do). But, since women stopped needing them (money) from men, then men, respectively, became irresponsible. This is one for one.

In order for a man to work and earn money, he needs strength for this, both moral, physical and spiritual, and the source of these forces for a man is women, so it is important that women first stimulate men so that men, in turn, , were able to answer them in the same way, otherwise, men will very soon wean from their duties - they will go astray, or go crazy with grief, or, they will leave the earth, as they say:

"Stop the earth, I'll get off, I'm tired of talking nonsense."

Do you feel that in Lately Are you chronically short of money for your usual expenses? Has your husband lost his job or is there a pay cut? Are you nervous about the decrease in family income, but what about your spouse? Psychologist's advice on how to count money and motivate your husband will come in handy in times of crisis.

Increasingly, a wedge between people drives the money issue. Even 20-30 years ago, no one really thought about such a problem: after the salary, they put money in the bedside table - and lived in peace. Yes and financial planning it was clear in the family: to buy a TV, a refrigerator, a wall, garden plot and so on. Modern abundance makes its own adjustments.

Family budget: 3 causes of problems

Let's take a look at the common problems that many couples have together and think about how we can smooth out the rough edges.

1. The first problem is little or no money. As a rule, the family does not face these difficulties immediately: the tension grows gradually, and only then does an emotional outburst occur, a protracted showdown and, as a result, a divorce. This happens either because of the inability to distribute money, or because of the unwillingness to change something in your life.

What to do with it, we will talk below. In the meantime, it's about financial control. In fact, any way to keep a budget works very well - entries in special program, maintaining a computer report or balance on a piece of paper attached to the refrigerator ...

Such control will be useful at various stages of family life. At first, this bookkeeping creates psychological discomfort due to a subconscious unwillingness to be controlled. But as soon as the first results appear, the mood improves.

1. Stumbling block number two can be summed up in the phrase: “Whoever earns is the boss in the house”. As a psychologist and wife with twenty years of experience, I can say that this is the most difficult problem! In this case, the grievances of the parties can accumulate for decades. When you communicate with such couples, sometimes you want to shout: “Where were you before?”. There is only one way out - to talk with each other and discuss the difficulties that have arisen.

This problem often occurs during maternity leave. The husband becomes the sole breadwinner, and his self-esteem rises sharply. He makes incommensurable demands on his wife: “Look after the child; be active in bed; feed breakfast; put to sleep; clean the house and be beautiful yourself, like a May rose.

It is difficult to complete all these tasks. There is a proposal - to allocate to his wife wages. She will know that she can claim a certain amount, which, with a clear conscience, she will spend only on herself. Determine together the amount of the amount, as well as the date of its payment.

1. Another reason for the difficulty is different scenarios of relationships in the families of parents. For example, a young wife grew up in a very rich family while the husband is the opposite. There is only one solution: an individual family financial management card. Get a special notebook (a file on your computer) and make long-term plans - 5 years, 3 years, 1 year. This helps to calculate the necessary income and commensurate them with expenses.

Tips for everyone

• Money loves an account, so I suggest writing down everything, for example, which of you needs how much money for personal expenses, for a hobby. Often we cannot reasonably assess the needs of another. Therefore, it is useful to make a mini-test: let everyone, independently of each other, write on a piece of paper how much money his partner needs for such expenses.
• Describe the pros and cons of your type of budgeting. It comes into fashion, which, from the point of view of psychology, is not the most the best option, often creating the feeling that "nothing holds us together." Discuss if this path is right for you.
• Remember the good formula - "save 20% for a dream"! It can be a vacation, buying the things you both want, or planning a pregnancy. I want to emphasize: it is for a dream, and not a “rainy day”. After all, according to the rule of materialization of thought, if the brain is persuaded for a long time, then a "rainy day" will definitely come.
• Treat money, and therefore, the way you receive it, with respect.

How to Motivate Your Man: 10 Steps (with Pictures)

Most people consider love to be a necessary condition for creating a relationship. Everything is wonderful - "people meet, people fall in love, get married" ... And then the wives come to me with a request to help "give a magic kick" to their men and make them "want something." As a rule, this “something” actually means “earn more, strive for career growth". And now the wife is worried: after all, she has many desires, but he has none. Children grow up, more money is needed - and often couples do not stand the test of the money issue.

• For those who are going to start a family. The moment you decide to live together, keep a diary or just take a piece of paper and describe the pros and cons of your loved one. This task makes sense for both. These entries are our starting point, something you can always go back to if problems arise.

If you have not done this before, nothing prevents you from making lists of “before/before” with your spouse at any time in your family life. Enter there all the qualities or traits of character that you consider significant. How did you accept and love each other, and what has changed since then?

• Start by removing the word "should" from your vocabulary. Man is born free, and in fact he owes nothing to anyone. A sense of duty, or, let's call it a more correct word, "motivation", we can awaken in ourselves only by ourselves. It is we who are convinced that we owe children, parents, and the state. But if you just live in harmony with yourself and do not what you should, but what you want (because you have motivation and purpose), the result will be better and you will feel better too.

"He has to provide for his family"; “After all, I bore him children” - familiar words? Let's take a break! You gave birth to children for yourself - simply because any person is selfish, and everything that he does, he does for himself. It’s good if a man wanted to have children and takes responsibility for their future, so to speak, “motivating” himself. And most male personalities are like that. But the word “should” is one of the strongest demotivators of people at any age. So work on your vocabulary.

• “I know better what he and our family need.” Why do you know better? It is hard for a person to take on someone else's motivation. For example, not all husbands want to be bosses, even if we really want to. Some want to be ordinary performers, they are comfortable with it. You do not like? Then think of your own implementation!
• My husband seems to agree with you, but does nothing for development? Well, do it for him. After all, this is your desire. Send out his resume (with permission, of course), browse the websites of promising companies. If he does not know what to do, select options for career guidance methods and tests. And at the same time download motivation tests and find out what he really wants.
• If your husband tells you "He's great here too" and “you must be a fool to leave such a place,” ask him to write down the arguments on paper and discuss each of the points. Desperate, "life is not sweet" sees no room for improvement? Help him write a resume correctly, describing all his strengths. It will be psychotherapy for both of you and at the same time help to look objectively at his merits.
• What he wants is the big question... When trying to clarify the situation in a conversation, does the husband remain silent or does it all end in a quarrel? Apply an old psychological game, which is called the "map of desires." Prepare pictures, paper, sit down and glue plans, dreams of each of you. You will definitely learn something new!
• Another method, for many women extreme. Stop talking to your husband about these topics. Go about your business, home, children and work. Silently give him lists of your needs and checks or reports on home accounting, if you keep it. At the same time, try to perform your duties very well so that the person “feels” discomfort.
• If possible, set a goal earn more than him and pursue it. Also an acceptable method of motivation.
• Classic mistake: I don't care what he does there! The main thing is to earn more money.” This may be the reason for many family conflicts. Without being interested in his affairs, you will not be able to understand true reasons problems he had at work. Create a situation for your husband when he can talk about his problems out loud, support him.
• "It's time to grow up, you have a family"- an expression that for men sounds like "your life is over." The male subconscious begins to violently resist, and most importantly - to break free! A man does not want such restrictions, especially if his life was diverse and multifaceted. When choosing a husband, take a closer look at his social circle, friends, acquaintances. At the beginning of the novel, he seems to be a “promising, sociable and bright guy”, but in family life these qualities can transform into something that you don’t like at all!

Buy this book

As for the motivation to earn ... Well, I don’t know, I tried to convey to him only two main thoughts: that a man should grow up hard in the shadow of his father, if she is very big and very powerful, and your temperament and hobbies are in your mother on 26.09. 2017 15:52:42, Los_Angeles.

Discussion

I won’t say about special restrictions, but the method "let
Everything will be so that you don’t envy and get used to the good” definitely doesn’t work. It was checked on one of the children, specifically on the firstborn. She doesn’t remember at all that any of his sneezes was performed :-)) she applied special restrictions already to an adult, settled out and stopped sponsoring.