Prayer for the conversion of someone close to the Orthodox faith. Persistent prayer by agreement. Prayer for loving care for the sick

The Holy Church constantly prays for all "our fathers and brothers who have died before", but she also makes a special prayerful commemoration for each deceased, if there is our pious desire and need for it. Such a commemoration is called private, it includes thirds, nineties, forages and anniversaries.

The commemoration of the dead on the third day after death is an apostolic tradition. It is performed because the deceased was baptized in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, the One God in the Trinity. In addition to the theological significance of the commemoration of the deceased on the third day, it also has a mysterious meaning, relating to the afterlife state of the soul.

For the first two days, the soul is still on earth and, with the Angel accompanying it, visits those places that attract it with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, good and evil deeds. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to Heaven to worship Himself.

For six days, from the third to the ninth, the soul, returning from the Face of God, accompanied by Angels, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their inexpressible beauty. On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to Him for worship.

After the second worship of God, the Angels take the soul to hell, where it contemplates the cruel torments of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day after death, the soul ascends for the third time to the Throne of the Lord, where its fate is decided - a place is assigned, which it will be honored with in its deeds.

That is why we must offer especially intense prayers for the dead on the third, ninth and fortieth days after death. But these terms have another meaning. The commemoration of the deceased on the third day is performed in honor of the three-day Resurrection of Jesus Christ and the image Holy Trinity. Prayer on the ninth day is a retribution of honor to the nine angelic ranks, which, as servants of the King of Heaven, intercede for mercy on the deceased.

The days of mourning for the dead in the deepest antiquity lasted forty days. According to the establishment of the Holy Church, it is supposed to make a commemoration for the dead for forty days (forty-mouth) and especially on the fortieth day (magnitude). Just as Christ defeated the devil, spending forty days in fasting and prayer, so the Holy Church offers prayers, alms and bloodless sacrifices for the deceased, asks him for grace from the Lord, helps him defeat the enemy, the airy prince of darkness, and receive the Kingdom of Heaven.

What can we do for loved ones within forty days of their death? As soon as a person has died, it is necessary to immediately take care of the magpie, i.e. daily commemoration during the Divine Liturgy. If possible, it is good to order forty meals and even in several churches.

If a person's death happened during Great Lent, then on Wednesday and Friday of each week, memorial services are ordered, and on Saturdays and Sundays - masses for the repose of the soul of the deceased. Sorokoust is not ordered during Great Lent, since there is no Divine Liturgy every day.

During Paschal week (the first week after Pascha) memorial services are not served, for Pascha is an all-encompassing joy for those who believe in the Resurrection of our Savior Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, during the whole week, neither mass for the dead nor memorial services are ordered. Only from Tuesday of St. Thomas Week (the second week after Easter) do churches begin to accept orders for magpies and masses for the repose. This day is called Radonitsa.

The day of the death of a Christian is the day of his birth for a new, better life. Therefore, we celebrate the memory of our loved ones after a year has passed from the day of their death, imploring the mercy of God to have mercy on their souls, to grant them the longed-for fatherland as an eternal inheritance.

On the third, ninth and fortieth days, as well as on the anniversary of death, it is necessary to order a Mass for the repose of the deceased in the church. At home these days, his relatives and friends gather for a meal in order to ask the Lord for forgiveness of sins and the repose of his soul in the Kingdom of Heaven in a joint prayer for him. It is also good to send a donation to monasteries so that they pray forever for the repose of the soul of the deceased.

The dead should also be commemorated on the days of their earthly birth, on the days of their name days (the day of memory of the saint whose name they bore). On the days of their memory, you need to order a mass for their repose, a memorial service in the church, pray for them at home, commemorate them at your meal.

memorial meal

The pious custom of commemorating the dead at a meal has been known for a very long time. It is described by the prophet Jeremiah, whence it is clear that the ancient Jews used to break bread for them as a consolation for the dead (Jer. 16:7).

But how exactly at the dinner table to commemorate the deceased relatives and friends? Unfortunately, commemorations often turn into only an occasion to get together, discuss last news, tasty food, while Orthodox Christians should also pray for their brothers in faith at the memorial meal.

This chapter summarizes the experience of people living an Orthodox life, bringing disparate advice and wishes together.

During Great Lent, if the commemoration (third, ninth, fortieth days, anniversary) falls on its first, fourth and seventh week, the relatives and friends of the deceased do not invite anyone. These weeks are especially strict. Let only the closest ones be at the table: mother or father, wife or spouse, children or grandchildren.

If memorial days fall on weekdays of other weeks of Great Lent, then they are transferred to the next (upcoming) Saturday or Sunday. This commemoration is called counter. This is done because Saturdays and Sundays are considered to be the feast days of Great Lent, when the Divine Liturgy is celebrated.

In the first eight days after Pascha, prayers for the dead are not read, no requiem services are performed for them. The Easter canon is sung in the Church. The Holy Orthodox Church allows to commemorate the dead only from Tuesday of St. Thomas' week, Radonitsa, which was mentioned above. From this day on, in the temple for the deceased, you can order magpie, mass, proskomidia and memorial service. From the day of Pascha until Tuesday of St. Thomas' week, only the Paschal canon is read for the deceased.

You should not commemorate the deceased at the table with vodka or other strong alcoholic drinks. Commemorations are days of grief, days of intense prayer for the soul of the deceased, which, perhaps, is very difficult. So will it really be easier for the soul in that world if we drink wine here?

memorial meal, which is arranged by the relatives and friends of the deceased, is a kind of almsgiving for everyone who is present at it. Hence the desire of the owners to treat those who came more tasty, more satisfying. But at the same time, fasting days established by the Holy Church must be observed. The dead are commemorated with the food that is laid on the day of the commemoration: on Wednesday, Friday, on the days of long fasts - fasting, on a meat-eater - fast food.

Prayers are read in front of holy icons with a lighted lamp or candle. At this time, a petition to have mercy on the deceased should sound with special force.

Immediately before eating, they read the prayer Our Father. Kutya is the first dish, which, by right of kinship and closeness to the deceased, is first tasted by his closest relatives and friends. These are boiled grains of wheat (rice) mixed with honey (raisins). Grains serve as a symbol of the Resurrection, and honey (or raisins) are sweets enjoyed by the righteous in the Kingdom of Heaven. Kutya is consecrated in the temple during a memorial service.

Then it is tasted by all those present. It is served, according to custom, on the third, ninth and fortieth days of commemoration.

Pancakes and jelly are considered traditional memorial dishes in Rus'.

But the most important thing is a prayer for the repose and mercy of the soul of a deceased person. Even if it happens that there is nothing left in the house but water and crackers, the commemoration will not be worse from this. If there is no prayer book in the house, then we will read those prayers that we know from memory, we will turn to God in our own words, if only sighing for the souls of the dead would come from our hearts.

During the commemoration, it is customary to leave a place, a plate, a dinner set, some of the dishes in the name of the deceased; this is a very ancient custom.

Christian invited to the wake loved one into an unbelieving family, it is better not to decline the invitation. Since love is higher than fasting, you need to be guided by the words of the Savior: Eat what is offered to you (Luke 10:8), but observe moderation in eating and talking.

Commemoration of the deceased after burial

Special days of commemoration are the third, ninth and fortieth (while the day of death itself is considered the first).

Commemoration these days is consecrated by an ancient church custom. It is consistent with the teaching of the Church about the state of the soul beyond the grave.

The third day. The commemoration of the deceased on the third day after death is performed in honor of the three-day resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image of the Holy Trinity.

For the first two days, the soul of the deceased is still on earth, passing along with the angel accompanying her to those places that attract her with the memory of earthly joys and sorrows, evil and good deeds. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him. Therefore, the Church commemoration of the soul that appeared before the Face of the Just is very timely.

Ninth day. The commemoration of the deceased on this day is in honor of the nine orders of angels, who, as servants of the King of Heaven, intercede for mercy on the deceased.

After the third day, the soul, accompanied by angels, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their inexpressible beauty. She remains in this state for six days. On the ninth day, the Lord commands the angels to again present the soul to Him for worship.

Fortieth day. The forty-day period is very significant in the history and traditions of the Church as the time necessary for preparation, for the acceptance of a special divine gift, the grace-filled help of the Heavenly Father.

The Prophet Moses was honored to talk with God on Mount Sinai and receive the tablets of the Law from Him only after a forty-day fast.

The Israelites reached the promised land after forty years of wandering.

Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after the Resurrection.

Taking all this as a basis, the Church established a commemoration on the fortieth day after death, so that the soul of the deceased ascended the holy mountain of the heavenly Sinai, was rewarded with the sight of the Divine, achieved the blessedness promised to her and settled in the heavenly villages with the righteous.

After the second worship of the Lord, the angels take the soul to hell, and she contemplates the cruel torments of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day, the soul ascends for the third time to worship God, and then its fate is decided - according to earthly affairs, it is assigned a place of residence until Doomsday.

Prayer on the fortieth day is extremely important, because it blots out the sins of the deceased. But even after it, the commemoration does not stop, only now it happens on memorable days - the birthday, death, name day of the deceased.

For an Orthodox believer, the day of the death of a neighbor is the day of birth into a new, eternal life.

How to Pray on Memorial Day

During all forty days after the death of a person, his relatives and friends should read the Psalter. How many kathismas a day depends on the time and strength of the readers, but reading must certainly be daily. After reading the entire Psalter, it is read from the beginning. One should not just forget after each "Glory ..." reading a prayer request for the remembrance of the deceased (from "Following the Exodus of the Soul from the Body").

Many relatives and friends of the deceased, referring to various circumstances, entrust this reading to others (readers) for a fee or order it in monasteries (the so-called "indestructible Psalter"). Of course, God hears such a prayer. But it will be stronger, sincere, purer, if a relative or close to the deceased person himself asks God to have mercy on the deceased. And don't waste your time or energy on it.

On the third, ninth and fortieth days, a special kathisma should be read according to the deceased (it includes the 118th psalm). It is called commemorative, and in the liturgical books - "Unblemished" (according to the word found in its first verse: "Blessed are the undefiled in the way that walks in the law of the Lord").

After the kathisma, the prescribed troparia are read (they are immediately indicated after the 118th psalm in the prayer book), and after them - psalm 50 and the troparia are immaculate, or the troparia for the repose (number 8) with a refrain to each verse from the 118th psalm: "Blessed art Thou, O Lord, teach me Thy justification."

After these troparions, the canon "Following the Exodus of the Soul from the Body" is read.

Days of special remembrance for all dead Orthodox Christians

The Holy Orthodox Church, in the wise care of the spiritual salvation of her faithful children, from ancient times intended special days in the year in which he is lifted up for the dead church prayer contributing to the relief of their afterlife.

Such days in a year:

1) Saturday of Myasopustnaya week,

2) Saturday of the 2nd week of Great Lent,

3) Saturday of the 3rd week of Great Lent,

4) Saturday of the 4th week of Great Lent,

5) Tuesday of the 2nd week after Easter,

6) Saturday of the 7th week after Easter,

Representation of all the dead by "parents", i.e. already belonging to the family of the fathers to whom they have departed, arouses in us reverence for their memory. On some days, especially Saturdays, an ecumenical commemoration of the dead is performed. These days are called parental Saturdays.

It is on Saturday that it is supposed to pray for the dead because it is established by the Holy Orthodox Church: on every Saturday of the week, on the day of rest, to commemorate the dead relatives and friends.

How to remember? In every "Orthodox prayer book" at the end of the morning prayers, prayers for the living and the dead are placed. We will not be too lazy to read this small commemoration for our deceased relatives, naming their names, adding to them prayer request from "Following the Departure of the Soul from the Body".

The days of the special (special) commemoration of the dead are five ecumenical Saturdays.

Meat-fat parent universal sabbath celebrated two weeks before Lent. On this day, the Holy Church prays for all Orthodox Christians, including the dead. sudden death: during the flood, earthquake, wars, etc.

Instead of a daily commemoration of the dead during the Divine Liturgy, which does not happen during Great Lent, the Holy Church decided to make an intensified commemoration on the following three days: parental second, third and fourth Saturdays of Great Lent.

Saturday of the 7th week of Easter Before Holy Pentecost, a commemoration of all the departed Christians takes place in the thought that the event of the Descent of the Holy Spirit concluded the dispensation of the salvation of man, which extends to the living and the dead. The establishment of the commemoration of the dead on Trinity Saturday dates back to the first times of Christianity. St. Basil the Great, to his prayers read on the day of Pentecost, added a prayer for the brethren who have fallen asleep in the faith: “Christ our God ... hear us praying to You, and give rest to the souls of Your servants, our father and brothers who have fallen asleep before, and other relatives according to the flesh and all of our own in the faith, we are now creating a memory of them ... Accept, Lord, our prayers and supplications and give rest ... all souls who have rested ... in the land of the living, in the Kingdom of Heaven, in a paradise of sweetness, bringing all into Thy Holy Mansions” (3rd floor).

August 29 on the day of the Beheading of the honest head of the holy glorious prophet, Forerunner and Baptist John, the Russian Church established in 1769 to commemorate Orthodox warriors, for faith and the fatherland in the battle of the slain.

Trinity Ecumenical parent saturday celebrated before the day of the Holy Trinity (on the 49th day after Easter). On this day, the memory of all the departed pious Christians is celebrated.

Private parenting days.

Tuesday of St. Thomas' week. The week is called Thomas because the Apostle Thomas is remembered on it. This very day, when the living rush to the cemetery to greet the dead parents with the joyful news of the Resurrection of the Lord, is usually called Radonitsa. The living christen with the dead, bringing colored eggs with them to the graves. This is the ninth day after Easter (Tuesday is the second week after Easter).

11 September, on the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist (a strict fast is required), a commemoration of Orthodox soldiers is performed, for faith and the fatherland on the battlefield killed. This commemoration was established in the Russian Church under Empress Catherine II (by decree of 1769), during the war with the Turks.

Saturday before October 26th On the day of memory of the holy and glorious Great Martyr Demetrius, myrrh-bearer of Thessalonica, a commemoration of all Orthodox Christians who died in faith and hope takes place. This commemoration was established by the Grand Duke Dimitry Donskoy after the Battle of Kulikovo in 1380 and was originally performed only for soldiers killed in battle.

The benefit of commemorating the departed, bringing a bloodless sacrifice for them and our prayers for them is great and indisputable. This is evidenced throughout the millennium (IV-XIV centuries) unanimously by the fathers and teachers of the Church: St. Ephraim the Syrian, St. Macarius of Egypt, St. John Chrysostom, St. Cassian, Blessed Augustine, St. John of Damascus, St. Simeon of Thessalonica, and others.

Dimitriev parental Saturday takes place a week before November 8 (commemoration day of martyr Demetrius of Thessalonica). It was established by Grand Duke Dmitry Ivanovich Donskoy. Having won the famous victory on the Kulikovo field on September 8 (21 according to a new style) in September 1380, Prince Dmitry Donskoy made a commemoration of the fallen soldiers before the day of his Angel.

Subsequently, on the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist and on Demetrius Saturday, they began to commemorate not only Orthodox soldiers, but also all the dead.

Finally, by the decision of the Council of Bishops of the Russian Orthodox Church in 1994 No. Victory Day in the Great Patriotic War(9th May) became the day of a special annual commemoration of the deceased soldiers, who laid down their lives for their faith, the Fatherland and the people, and all those who died in agony during the Great Patriotic War.

These days, order a Mass or commemoration at the proskomedia (translated from Greek - offering) for your loved ones, relatives. This is a sheet with the heading "About the Repose", which lists the names of the deceased (baptized and not committed suicide).

On such days, it is good to visit the graves of the dead, to pray in church during a memorial service for their repose, and at home to read the 17th kathisma. * Do not forget to remember the dead during the meal.

Once in the life of every person, there comes a time when one of the acquaintances, relatives or relatives goes to the deceased forefathers. The remains of a deceased person are most often buried in the ground, where they will be in the future. However, love for the deceased does not dry out, therefore, on certain days, a commemoration is held for the deceased. In order to avoid unwanted mistakes, it is very important to know how to commemorate the dead, on what days it is done and, of course, how the commemoration takes place.

There are three main periods for commemoration after the death of a person.. The first time prayers take place on the third day, the second time they are commemorated on the ninth day, and for the third time they pray for the deceased at the onset of the fortieth day. The countdown is from the day of death of a person, and not from the day of burial. Wake on fixed days is a sacred custom that has been preserved since ancient times.

Basic mistakes and rules

Wake, like any other custom, has its own rules established over the years. They must certainly be observed so as not to inadvertently disturb and offend the soul of the deceased. But before you find out what rules for commemorating the dead exist, it is worth learning about the erroneous actions that many commit at a funeral. Common mistakes can be related to items such as:

So, how to commemorate deceased relatives.

As mentioned earlier, there are three special periods when a commemoration is held, not counting the day of the funeral:

After forty days, the deceased is considered to be ever-memorable, that is, the one who needs to be ever-remembered, where "ever" means "always." You should not forget about your deceased relative or close person after death.

What is a memorial service

During life, love can be shown to your loved ones by hugging them and kissing them.. But if a person goes to another world, then you can show your feelings for him only with the help of a memorial service. They are held in the church, as a rule, immediately after the end of the morning service. How much the memorial service will cost, you can find out directly when visiting the temple.

To hold a memorial service, you need to buy bread or something from pastries, but in no case should it be sweet, and you can also buy fruit. These products are considered basic, but other types can be added, depending on financial opportunities. As a rule, on this day it is customary to carry flour, various cereals and vegetable oil. In no case should you take alcohol and sweets with you.

A note with the names of all deceased relatives, written in advance, is added to the products. The form for correct filling can be taken directly from the church. Everything prepared for the memorial service is placed on a special table. During the memorial service, the presence of someone who calls out to the saints with a prayer is desirable. Total duration sacred action is about fifteen minutes. Believers say that at this time the soul stands next to its relative and prays for him in the same way as he does.

There are memorial services that are especially significant for the dead souls, their effect is 10 times stronger than a regular service. They pass on a special day of remembrance of the dead, which falls on the parental and Memorial Saturday. You can find out when they happen and how many there are in a year in the church itself or in a special church calendar where they are usually marked with a black cross. As a rule, most of them fall on the period of Lent.

The soul of a deceased person is waiting for a relative in the temple and rejoices if he comes. Otherwise, she is very sad and feels empty. The day before, on Friday evening, parastas copes in the name of the deceased.

In addition to Saturdays, the commemoration of the dead in Orthodoxy takes place on Radonitsa, which follows the ninth day after the celebration of Easter. It is at this time that the souls are waiting for their relatives near the graves or in the church, sometimes they come to the apartment where they lived until death. On this day, it is necessary to intensely remember them, as well as order a memorial service and give alms to those in need. If the birthday of the deceased falls on Radonitsa, then there is nothing wrong with arranging a commemoration. There are no prohibitions for the memory of loved ones who left the mortal earth.

The church charter says

Do not forget about your loved ones who have gone to God. The commemoration of the dead, according to the charter of the Orthodox Church, takes place six months after the date of death, and even a year later. The anniversary of death is considered the second birth of the soul and a new life in Heavenly Kingdom. Particular attention should be paid to commemoration before Trinity Saturday; when the next commemoration of the deceased is made, a candle is placed in the church for the repose of the soul in the place reserved for the deceased in one of the hollow candlesticks, and a memorial service is also ordered. But in no case, even after many years from the date of death, you can not bring alcohol or sweets. No need to anger God and torment the soul of the deceased.

According to the charter of the church, for the grace of the soul of the deceased, immediately after his death, a magpie must be ordered in the temple, which will be read for forty days. In the monastery, you can order a prayer service for the repose, which the ministers will do for several months. Another important point, which must be observed - if a person was unbaptized during his lifetime, then in church services he cannot be remembered. One can only pray for the blessing of his soul at home before the face of the saint, whose name was given to the reposed servant of God.

If for some reason it is not possible to mark a wake on the day of the death of a loved one, then you can do this at any other time, even if it is much later than the date of death, with the exception of those days when it is forbidden to remember the dead. It is not necessary to arrange a commemoration according to church rules during:

• Easter.
• Holy Week.

In these days, it is impossible to celebrate a wake, in this way you can disturb the reposed soul, as a result of which it will suffer and languish.

You can repeatedly hear that it is impossible to commemorate the dead on Monday. In fact, the church charter does not prohibit this. This opinion is connected solely with the opinion of people that Monday is a difficult day, and nothing can be started on this day, which means that you can hold a commemoration on this day of the week.

1. PRAYER IS THE BIGGEST BLESSING FOR THE DEAD
Prayer for the departed is the biggest and most important thing we can do for those who have passed away. By and large, the deceased does not need a coffin or a monument - all this is a tribute to traditions, albeit pious ones. But the eternally living soul of the deceased feels a great need for our constant prayer, because she herself cannot do good deeds with which she would be able to propitiate God. That is why prayer at home for loved ones, prayer in the cemetery at the grave of the deceased is the duty of everyone Orthodox Christian.
Commemoration in the Church provides special assistance to the deceased. Before visiting the cemetery, one of the relatives should come to the temple at the beginning of the service, submit a note with the name of the deceased for commemoration in the altar (it is best if it is a commemoration on the proskomedia, when a piece is taken out of the special prosphora for the deceased, and then in the sign of the ablution of his sins will be lowered into the Chalice with the Holy Gifts). After the liturgy, a memorial service should be served. Prayer will be more effective if the one who commemorates this day himself partakes of the Body and Blood of Christ.
2. STATE OF THE SOUL AFTER DEATH AND REMEMBERING THE DEAD
Church tradition proclaims the gospel to us from the words of the holy ascetics of faith and piety, who were honored to receive
read divine revelation about the state of the soul after its separation from the body.
For the first two days, the soul is still on earth and, with the angel accompanying it, visits those places that attract it with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, good and evil deeds. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Himself.
Then the soul, returning from the Face of God, accompanied by angels, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their inexpressible beauty. So she stays for six days - from the third to the ninth. On the ninth day, the Lord commands the angels to again present the soul to Him for worship.
After the second worship of God, the angels take the soul to hell, and she contemplates the cruel torments of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day after death, the soul ascends for the third time to the Throne of the Lord, where its fate is decided - a place is assigned, which she was honored by her deeds.
From this it is clear that the days of intense prayer for the dead should be the third, ninth and fortieth days after death. These dates also have another meaning.
The commemoration of the deceased on the third day is performed in honor of the three-day resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image of the Most Holy Trinity.
Prayer on the ninth day is a retribution of honor to the nine angelic ranks, which, as servants of the King of Heaven, intercede for mercy on the deceased.
The forty-day period is very significant in the history and tradition of the Church, as the time necessary for preparation, for the acceptance of a special divine gift, for receiving the grace-filled help of the Heavenly Father. So, the prophet Moses was honored to talk with God on Mount Sinai and receive the tablets of the law from Him only after a forty-day fast. The Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His Resurrection. Taking
this is the basis, the Church established the commemoration of the deceased on the fortieth day after death, so that his soul would ascend the Holy Mountain of Heavenly Sinai, be rewarded with the sight of God, achieve the blessedness promised to her and settle in heavenly villages with the righteous.
In addition, it is supposed to commemorate the dead on the anniversary of their death. The reasons for this are obvious. It is known that after the lapse of the year, all fixed feasts are repeated in the Church. The anniversary of the death of a loved one is always celebrated with a heartfelt commemoration of his family and friends. Other memorable days - the birthday of the deceased, his name day, wedding day (for spouses) - are also reasons for intensified prayer for the dead. Finally, one should not neglect the commemoration of the deceased on any other day, because prayer is the main, invaluable help of the living to those who have departed to another world.
As long as a person is alive, he is able to repent of sins and do good. After death, this opportunity disappears, but there remains hope for the prayers of the living. The Lord Jesus Christ repeatedly healed the sick through the faith of their loved ones. The lives of the holy saints of God contain many examples of how, through the prayer of the righteous, the posthumous fate of sinners was eased, up to their complete justification. If a prayer is performed for a person who has already been pardoned by God and settled in paradise, then it does not remain fruitless, but turns to the benefit of the one who prays. As St. John Chrysostom: “Let us try, as much as possible, to help the dead instead of tears, instead of sobs, instead of magnificent tombs - with our prayers, alms and offerings for them, so that in this way both they and us will receive the promised blessings.”
To correctly commemorate the deceased on a memorable day, you need to come to the temple at the beginning of the service and submit a memorial note with his name to the candlestick. Notes
are accepted for proskomidia, mass, litany, and panikhida.
Proskomedia is the first part of the Divine Liturgy. During it, the priest extracts small particles from special prosphora bread, praying for the living and the dead. Subsequently, after Communion, these particles will be lowered into the Chalice with the Blood of Christ under the prayer: “Wash away, Lord, the sins of those who are remembered here by Your precious Blood and the prayers of Your saints.” Proskomedia commemoration is considered the most effective.
Mass is the common name for the Divine Liturgy. Notes filed "for mass" are commemorated by priests, deacons and psalmists in certain moment services before the Holy See.
A litany is a public commemoration performed by a deacon or priest. Notes filed for the funeral litany are subsequently commemorated at a memorial service.
The note should be titled "On Repose", the names should be written legibly, putting them in genitive case(e.g. Peter, Mary). For clergy, indicate their rank, in full or in an understandable abbreviation (for example, Metropolitan John, Deacon Vasily). Children under the age of seven are referred to as infants; deceased in the period up to the fortieth day - newly deceased; on the anniversary of death - ever-memorable. Warriors are listed separately. The words "killed", "dead", "drowned", "burned" and the like do not need to be written.
It is very useful to give all possible alms to the poor with a request to pray for the deceased. You can donate some food for the remembrance of the soul; for this, there are special requiem tables in the temples. It is not customary to bring meat food into the temple, and during the period of fasting, eggs, dairy products and fast sweets should not be left on the memorial tables. Of course, all
hay food and products must be fit for consumption.
The simplest and most common way to sacrifice for the deceased is to buy a candle. Each temple has a kanun - a special candlestick in the form of a rectangular table with many cells for candles and a small crucifix. It is here that candles are placed with a prayer for repose, panikhidas and absentee funerals are performed here.
But not only in the temple you can pray for the dead. In addition to church commemoration, on the third, ninth, fortieth days and anniversaries, the memory of the deceased should be honored by reading the rite of Lithia at home. Home prayer can be more fervent. It is good for all forty days after the death to read the Canon about the deceased daily.
Subsequently, a prayer for the repose of the soul .. of a loved one should become daily. For this, a special petition is included in the prayer rule of Orthodox Christians: “God rest the souls of the departed Thy servants (names), and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.” A home prayer for the dead may also include reading the Psalter for the deceased, a canon or akathist for the repose of his soul.
Nowadays, many people, even when they are baptized, do not go to church, do not go to confession, do not partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, or do so very rarely. For them, as well as for all those who died suddenly and did not have time to properly prepare for their death, they read the Canon Saint Paisios Great. This saint, who labored all his life in monastic deeds, did not want to have any recompense for them, only for the sake of the soul of one young sinner being delivered from punishment. And the Lord graciously accepted the vigils and tears of His servant and granted him special grace to intercede for the dead without repentance.
3. DAYS OF THE UNIVERSAL REMEMBER OF THE LOST
On certain days of the year, the Church creates a commemoration of all fathers and brothers who have passed away from the age of faith, who were honored with a Christian death, as well as those who were overtaken by sudden death, were not admonished in afterlife the prayers of the Church.
Panikhidas that are performed on such days are called ecumenical, and the days themselves are called ecumenical parental Saturdays. All of them do not have a fixed number, but are associated with the passing Lent-Paschal cycle. These are the days:
1. Saturday meat-fare - eight days before the start of Lent, on the eve of the Week of the Last Judgment.
2. Parental Saturdays - on the second, third and fourth weeks of Great Lent.
3. Trinity parental Saturday - on the eve of the day of the Holy Trinity, on the ninth day after the Ascension.
On the eve of each of these days, special requiem all-night vigils - parastases are served in churches, and after the liturgy there are ecumenical memorial services.
In addition to these general church days, the Russian Orthodox Church has established some more, namely:
4. Radonitsa (Radunitsa) - Easter commemoration of the dead, happens in the second week after Easter, on Tuesday.
5. Dimitrievskaya parental Saturday - day special commemoration killed soldiers, originally established in memory of the Battle of Kulikovo, and later became a day of prayer for all Orthodox soldiers and military leaders. It happens on the Saturday preceding the eighth of November - the day of memory of the Great Martyr Demetrius of Thessalonica.
6. Commemoration of the deceased soldiers - April 26 (May 9, new style).
In addition to these days of church-wide commemoration, every deceased Orthodox Christian must be commemorated annually on the days of his birth, death, on his name day.
It is very useful on memorable days to donate to the church, to give alms to the poor with a request to pray for the departed.
4. WHEN THERE IS NO REMEMBER
Panikhidas, absentee funerals and any funeral prayers, except for the commemoration of notes on the proskomedia, are not performed in all churches from Thursday Holy Week(last week before Easter) to Antipascha (first Sunday after Easter). In-person funeral services are allowed these days, except for the Easter holiday itself. The rite of the Paschal funeral service is very different from the usual one, since it contains many joyful Easter hymns.
On the Nativity of Christ and other twelfth feasts, the funeral prayer is canceled by the Charter, but can be performed at the discretion of the rector of the temple.
5. IS IT POSSIBLE AND HOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ORTHODOX CHRISTIANS TO PRAY
FOR NON-ORTHODOX CHRISTIANS? (Rev. Joseph, Elder of Optina)
“Speaking about the strictness of our Orthodox Church in relation to the commemoration of unbelieving Christians, we are not talking about the fact that our holy Church commands us, her children, not to pray for them in any way. It only forbids us to pray on our own, i.e. pray - as we want and as we please. Our Mother Orthodox Church inspires us that everything with us, like prayer itself, be performed
"according to order and manner" (1 Cor. 14:40). We pray, during all our church services, for all peoples of different tribes and for the whole world, most often without knowing or understanding it ourselves. It is we who pray the way our Lord Jesus Christ taught his apostles to pray in the prayer devoted to them: “Thy will be done, as in Heaven and on earth!” This all-encompassing petition encompasses all our needs and those of our fellow believers, even though our unbelieving brethren. Here we ask the All-good Lord for the souls of the dead non-Orthodox Christians, so that He would do with them what is pleasing to God to His holy will. For the Lord knows immeasurably better than we know to whom and what mercy to show.
So, an Orthodox Christian, whoever you are, a layman or a priest of God, if during any church service When you get the zeal to pray for someone close to you, Charles or Edward, then when you read or sing the Lord's Prayer, sigh for him to the Lord and say: “May Thy Holy Will be done about him, Lord!” - and confine yourself to this prayer. For thus you have been taught to pray by the Lord Himself. And believe that such a prayer of yours will be a thousand times more pleasing to the Lord and more useful for your soul than all your self-made church commemorations.
; Now let's talk a little about private prayer. Almost the only example known in our Orthodox Church is that the private prayer of one Saint of God helped the souls of dead Gentiles, even pagans...
In the Fatherland, Bishop Ignatius we read: “Once Abba Macarius, walking in the desert, found a human skull lying on the ground. When the abba touched the palm stick, which was in his hand, to the skull, the skull uttered a voice from itself. The elder said to him: "Who are you?" The skull answered: “I was a priest of the idolaters who lived in this place, and you are Abba Macarius, who has the Holy
Spirit of God, when you have mercy on those who are in eternal torment, you pray for them, then they receive some comfort. Further, the skull, telling St. Macarius about the hellish torment, he ended like this: “We, who did not know God, are at least given some mercy; but those who have known God and denied Him, and did not do His will, are inferior to us.” ("The Father", ed. 4th. pp. 311-312)
From this story blessed Father First of all, we see that his prayer for the suffering was not church-public, but private. This is the prayer of a solitary hermit who prayed in the secret closet of his heart... Then, this prayer can also partly serve us, Orthodox Christians, as an occasion to pray for the living and dead non-believers with private, domestic prayer. But only as a pretext, and by no means as an example, for the monk told us how he prayed for the pagans not with an unauthorized prayer, but in the way that the Spirit of God instructed him, dwelling in his pure heart, who not only instructed him, but also made him pray for everything world - about all people, living and dead, as is usually the case loving hearts all the saints of God; like St. The apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians: “Our heart is expanded; do not closely fit into us. (2 Cor. 6:11)
So, we can now agree that Orthodox Christians can pray for non-Orthodox Christians - living and dead - by private prayer at home; but at the same time, let us remind again and again, not to pray without authorization - not as we please and wish (so that instead of goodwill we do not incur the wrath of God), but according to the instructions of spiritual people experienced in life.
There was a case during the life of the Optina Elder Leonid (in the schema of Leo, who died in 1841). One of his students, Pavel Tambovtsev, had a parent who died an unfortunate violent death - suicide. Was deeply saddened loving son news of this, and therefore he poured out his grief before the elder: “The unfortunate death of my parent is a heavy cross for me. Yes, I am now on the cross, whose diseases will go with me to the grave. Imagining eternity, terrible for sinners, in which there is no longer repentance, I am tormented by the idea of ​​eternal torment that awaits my parent, who died without repentance. Tell me, father, how can I console myself in real sorrow? The elder's answer: “Surrender both yourself and the fate of the parent to the will of the Lord, all-wise, all-powerful. Do not test the Most High miracles. Strive by humility to strengthen yourself within the bounds of moderate sorrow. Pray to the Blessed Creator, thereby fulfilling the duty of love and the duty of filial.” Question: "But in what way should one pray for such?" Answer: “In the spirit of the virtuous and wise, so: “Seek, Lord, the lost soul of my father: if it is possible to eat, have mercy! Your destinies are unsearchable. Do not put me in the sin of this prayer of mine, but may Thy holy will be done! Pray simply, without trial, committing your heart to the right hand of the Most High. Of course, it was not the will of God for such a sad death of your parent; but now he is completely in the will of the Mighty and soul and body to cast into a furnace of fire, and Who both humbles and raises up, mortifies and lives, brings down to hell and raises up. At the same time, He is so merciful, omnipotent and loving, that the good qualities of all earthly people before His Highest goodness are nothing. For this you should not be overly sad. You will say: "I love my parent, and therefore I mourn inconsolably." Fair. But God without comparison more than you loved and loves him. So, it remains for you to leave the eternal fate of your parent to the goodness and mercy of God, who, if he deigns to have mercy, then who can resist Him?
Here is this private, cell, or home prayer, taught by the spiritual elder Leonid experienced in life to his student, and can serve as an example for an Orthodox Christian or an image of prayer for some non-Orthodox Christian close to him. He can, for example, pray in this sense: “Have mercy, Lord, if it is possible to eat, the soul of Your servant (name), who has departed into eternal life in apostasy from Your Holy Orthodox Church! Your destinies are unsearchable. Do not put me in the sin of this prayer of mine.

Grief can befall every family. The anniversary of death is one of the mourning dates that you just need to survive. These days, all relatives commemorate the deceased with kind words, express their condolences, share their experiences. As a rule, the anniversary of the death of a loved one is celebrated in a small, narrow family circle. Many ask questions: how to properly commemorate the deceased, what dishes to cook on the table, what prayers are worth knowing and what to put in the church. Let's try to understand all these points from the point of view of Christian morality, which prevails over other religions. Let's start with a little historical background.

History of Wake

They began to commemorate and dine on the anniversary of the death of close relatives from the time of the advent of Christianity in Rus'. The commemoration itself or commemoration is a mourning ritual during which the deceased is remembered, his memory is honored. In fact, every religion has a funeral and memorial ritual. We will talk about Christian beliefs solely because this religion is the most widespread in Russia. However, according to Orthodox teachings, only baptized people can be commemorated. Orthodox Church does not pray and does not commemorate suicides, unbaptized people, and all non-Orthodox and apostates. Christians commemorate all the dead in 3 stages: on the third day after death, on the ninth and fortieth days. The basis is a memorial dinner. During his relatives, friends and acquaintances, they remember the deceased with a kind word, his good deeds and deeds. On the day of the funeral, everyone can come to the cemetery, as well as sit at the memorial table. Without fail, the body of the deceased is taken to church or buried at home. And already for 9 days only close people are invited to the memorial table. Be sure to put a photograph of the deceased near, pour a glass of water and put salt and bread. It should be noted that they began to do this far before the adoption of Christianity in Rus', in fact, this pagan tradition that has survived to this day.

On the fortieth day after death, everyone can be invited, including those relatives and friends who could not come to the funeral. The meal is big. The same thing happens on the anniversary of death, when relatives and relatives are called.

Christian traditions

We are used to celebrating Wake on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day. But why is this happening? What does it say about it Orthodox faith? On the third day we commemorate the deceased in honor of the Resurrection of Christ, who ascended to heaven just on the third day after the crucifixion. The ninth day has come to us from Orthodox tradition to honor the angels who ask the Lord for remembrance for the dead soul. The fortieth day is revered by the Orthodox in honor of the ascension of Christ. It is up to this period that it is commonly believed that the soul is in wandering, seeking God. And this decision occurs exactly on the 40th day. It is then that the main thing happens - they determine the place of the soul before the Last Judgment. And here it begins new life anniversary after death.

Wake organization

On the anniversary of death, you need to prepare well. You need to warn in advance all the people whom you consider it important to see at the funeral commemoration. As a rule, these are the closest people: relatives, friends, work colleagues. You need to decide exactly how many servings to set the table for. It is better to cook or order more food, and give the rest to the poor and needy.

The first thing to do on the anniversary of death is to visit the grave of the deceased and put flowers, you can light a lamp and read a prayer for the dead. So, in order to properly organize a memorial anniversary, you will need to:

• Invite all relatives and relatives of the deceased in advance;
• Determine the location of the funeral. This can be done at home or in a cafe;
• Go to church to order all the necessary church rituals;
• Visit the cemetery in the morning, put flowers and read a prayer for the dead;
• Help the poor.

Perhaps the main thing in all this is a sincere prayer for the soul of the deceased, which will help to find peace in the next world. Of course, it is better to order in the church Divine Liturgy and attend it, together with other parishioners, ascend with words of sorrow and respect for the soul of the deceased.

What should be ordered in the temple?

Without prayer, the soul of the deceased will be in suffering. That is why they order the Liturgy and early in the morning they order the mass for the repose of the soul. To do this, you need to come to the temple before the start of the service. After they eat the prosphora and commemorate the deceased. Some order Sorokoust for a year and without fail put a candle for the repose of the soul. In addition, you can always read funeral prayers.

memorial dinner

Many are interested in the following questions:

• What dishes are better to cook on the anniversary of death;
• What devices are needed;
• The order of serving dishes;
• What and how to say;
• How to properly behave at the table during a mourning event.

The main thing here is to know for sure whether this day falls with church holiday or post. If this happens, you need to adhere to church canons and cook fast food. If the day according to the Christian calendar allows you to eat meat dishes, then they can also be included in the mourning menu. Christian doctrine says:

Just before sitting down at the table, an older adult man reads a prayer and thanks the deceased for all the good things. Lunch should start with kutya, which you need to eat 3 tablespoons. Please note that there are only spoons on the cutlery table. And kutya is better to cook from grain. This is also a pagan tradition, symbolizing the resurrection of the soul.

Each hostess selects dishes for the funeral table according to her taste. It is better that these be modest, lenten dishes, without any frills, and the food that the deceased loved most. Most often it is borscht or noodles for the first, potatoes with meat, boiled and Fried fish, cabbage salads, cabbage rolls and so on. They cook a lot of compote, uzvar, put sweet drinks for children.

The number of dishes on the funeral table is not essential. After all, the main thing is not the decoration of the table, but the memory of the deceased, kind words and thoughts. After all, every person with whom fate brings us, one way or another, teaches us something. On a separate table, be sure to put a photograph of the deceased with a black ribbon, a glass of water, salt and a piece of bread. From that day on, the soul of the deceased passes into the Kingdom of Heaven.

Behavior rules

On this day, you need to dress in dark clothes, women cover their heads with black scarves, men wear jackets and suits. You need not speak loudly, at the table after the prayer you can make a speech of gratitude, remember the kindness of the deceased, recall some interesting accident from his life.

Do not start loud conversations or scandals. That is why it is better not to drink alcohol. Give preference to Cahors or weak dry wines. If anyone present is in the stage alcohol intoxication, it is better to quietly take him out of the refectory or correctly ask him to leave.

At the end of the day, it will not be superfluous to give food from the table to the sick and the poor. By such deeds you will do good not only for departed soul but also for yourself. It's never too late to be merciful and kind!

Anniversary rescheduling

Sometimes by different reasons it happens that the anniversary of death needs to be rescheduled. Is it possible to celebrate the day of mourning in advance? This question can definitely be answered by your Orthodox priest, to whom you tell about the reason for the transfer and can consult. It happens that the date falls on some big Orthodox holiday. In this case, you can postpone the mourning date for several days.

Orthodox commemoration of the dead primarily involves prayer. And only after that the memorial table. Of course, the funeral itself, the 9th and 40th day, are no less significant events to which all relatives, close friends, just acquaintances and colleagues from work are invited. However, at 1 year old, you can not do this, but spend the day in prayer among the closest people in the family circle. Also, a year after the sad event, it is customary to visit the cemetery.

How to hold a wake for 1 year?

If a person was baptized during his lifetime, he is ordered a funeral commemoration at the Liturgy. Prayer is a huge help for people who have left this world. Indeed, by and large, the deceased does not need either a monument or a chic meal, the only thing a loved one can do for his soul is to read prayers and remember his good deeds.

You can order the Liturgy in the church in the evening the day before the wake or in the morning on the same day. Among other things, they commemorate the deceased at the meal. On this day, it is customary to cook various dishes: this is necessarily soup, the second, and at the request of relatives, the favorite dishes of the deceased are prepared. Do not forget about pancakes, jelly and pastries.

On the day of commemoration of the death of the deceased, one should definitely visit his grave. If necessary, they put things in order there: they tint, plant flowers, needles (thuja takes root best of all, it does not grow in breadth and does not take root, but only grows upwards). If there was a temporary monument on the grave, then it is in the year after death that it is replaced with a permanent one.

Funeral meal at the wake for 1 year

Of course, the hosts want to treat the invited people to taste better, but do not forget about Orthodox fasts. So, if the commemoration fell on the day of fasting, prohibited foods should be excluded and only those dishes that are allowed for a meal should be served on the table.

At the table, it is necessary to remember the deceased, his good deeds and character traits. You should not turn the memorial table into a "drunken gathering." After all, the word "commemoration" arose from the word "remember".

The first dish served on the funeral table is kutia. It is boiled rice or wheat groats with honey and raisins. While eating the dish, they think about the deceased. Such food is considered a symbol of resurrection; according to tradition, it can be sprinkled with holy water.

The following dishes on the memorial table, namely soup, the second, can be anything, depending on taste preferences deceased or owners. It can be a regular chicken noodle soup or rich borscht, goulash with pasta or jelly, stuffed pepper or pilaf, as long as meat dishes are not prohibited by fasting. As a pastry, you can serve a pie with filling or pancakes.

It should be noted that the days of remembrance must be met in a good mood, be in the mood and not be offended by the deceased for leaving this world. Moreover, it is considered correct to distribute alms and clothes or other things of the deceased to those in need at the wake.

Sources:

• Website "Orthodoxy"

Unfortunately, people have to deal with the loss of loved ones sooner or later. Christian tradition prescribes to commemorate the dead on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day after leaving, and then on each anniversary of death. The organization of a memorial event is not only a tribute to tradition, but also an opportunity to Once again honor the memory of the deceased.

You will need

• - room;
• - flowers;
• - products;
• - money;
• - candles.

Instruction

Start organizing the memorial evening in advance. Try to make sure that the event takes place in a calm, unhurried atmosphere. Your goal is to remember the deceased person, honor his memory and gather people whom the deceased himself would be glad to see in his lifetime.

Choose a venue for the event. If you are going to gather only a narrow circle of close people, a home environment will be enough. For a larger event, it is advisable to rent a separate room in a cafe: at the same time, try to make sure that there are no other companies or holidays nearby.

If the deceased person was his public or creative activity, as a separate event, you can arrange a memorial evening associated with his professional achievements. Choose appropriate music, ask former colleagues to prepare oral presentations, arrange a photo retrospective.

Visit . Tidy up, lay down, light candles. Contrary to the stereotype, you should not take food or alcohol with you. This custom, which came from paganism, is contrary to, but not everyone knows about it. Silence, prayers, memories - this is the best way to honor the memory of the deceased in his of death.

note

It is worth abandoning memorial events both on Holy Day and on Easter week. In the first case, believers remember the sacrifice of Christ, in the second, they rejoice bright holiday Christ's Resurrection. If the date of death falls exactly at this time, you have every right to honor the memory of the deceased person later.

Sources:

• death anniversary

The death of a loved one is great sorrow. But, according to tradition, it is the closest relatives and friends of the deceased who should organize a commemoration - a memorable dinner in his honor. This event has its own conditions and traditions that you need to know.

Instruction

Decide how many people will attend the event. It depends, for example, whether it will be possible to hold a wake at home or whether it will be necessary to order a hall for them. Moreover, if a lot of people actually come, you do not have to invite everyone. It depends on the wishes of the relatives, but on