Rule 5 dates psychology. The first five dates rule. Choose a less formal meeting place

Most likely, you listened to them with laughter, as a joke. But on a date, they began to behave in accordance with these instructions - all of a sudden, really. And if they behaved exactly the opposite, then in the future, recalling their romance of one day, they listened to the triumphant and compassionate words of their friend at the same time: "I told you!". Do these five date rules really exist?

Relationship magazines are full of articles with detailed instructions on how to keep a man, bind him to you, what to do with him, how to behave properly for a woman, what a man should, and so on. Under these conditions, the rules of behavior on dates were formed, the creators of which claim that if they are observed, you are guaranteed a controlling position in relationships and, in general, happiness in your personal life. Let's see what they are.

1 date. We look at each other. Here the task is to impress, as well as to interest, to kindle interest. The constant companions of the first date are beauty, courtesy, gallantry. It is on the first date that it is determined whether the second will take place. But don't forget to take care of yourself. If the satellite is charming, invited you, for example, to bowling, which you can not stand, it is better to signal this. Tactically, of course. Surely you will find a pastime interesting for both. Here it is recommended to maintain distance and restraint at all costs. And what in this case to do with temperament? (Speech, of course, about character, not sex).

2 date. Everything that was left behind the scenes on the first date, it's time to clarify on the second. Habits, hobbies, hobbies, worldview. Do you have any questions after the first meeting? If not, what do you do on the second? Oh yes. The image of the snow queen is also recommended here.

3 date. Passions are heating up. You get to know each other more and more. If you can still go on a second date by inertia, the third is much more difficult. Therefore, at a minimum, you are attractive to your companion. You can relax a little and allow yourself to order your favorite chicken wings and eat them with your hands - instead of liver in pineapple sauce.

4 date. Precedes the decisive 5th. Therefore, it is recommended to throw brushwood on the fire. The atmosphere is the most romantic, the look is alluring. Receive and say compliments, be frank, share your impressions. In general, this is true for all dates. In order for a person to want to open up to you, you need to let him know that you also have nothing to hide. Nevertheless, it is started with the expectation of a happy continuation, it is possible that in the registry office. Therefore, the role of an independent expert is inappropriate.

And finally, the 5th date. There is more freedom here. Liberties are allowed. And you can check not only mental, but also physical compatibility. After the fact, you can draw final conclusions whether your person is actually next to you. Are you ready to work on a relationship with him in the future.

It should be noted that often the rules of dating or relationships are perceived as a magic pill, after drinking which you will be happy. But the truth is that relationships are based on feelings and spontaneity. Responsibility and reliability are based on trust and free choice, which means that the key to a successful acquaintance is sincerity and naturalness. Therefore, the question of when, what to do and afford on a date according to his number can be asked by people deprived of intuition and a creative approach to life. It's not about us, is it?

Also, the 3 or 5 date rules are very popular with pickup artists. How do you determine who is in front of you - an ideal contender in all respects for your hand and heart or an insidious seducer? Just break the rules!

Do you like to watch comedy films about love? It is often mentioned first five date rule. How relevant is this now - in our time?

The Five Date Rule is a set of principles that give you time and the ability to logically evaluate your partner and relationship with him so that there are no disappointments in the future.

You don't have to date someone 5 times if you realize after the first date that you're not the right fit for each other. However, some distance should be kept at first so that the feeling of falling in love does not drown out the voice of reason.

first date

It is best to meet for the first time on neutral territory and in a relaxed atmosphere. The first meeting does not oblige you to anything, you are just trying to form an opinion about each other. Do not rush to jump to conclusions, they can be erroneous, as many people behave not quite naturally on a first date. Yes, and the meeting can occur in the most unusual and non-standard situations.

Choose a place where you both feel comfortable - it can be an inexpensive cafe where you order coffee or tea. Discuss your interests, hobbies, favorite movies and music. The main thing is to find common ground. The first date is best spent in a friendly atmosphere, not particularly trying to touch each other. It can be meaningless light hugs at a meeting and parting. If, after the first meeting, they start bombarding you with calls and SMS, then do not lose your head, be restrained so as not to spoil everything.

Second date

Having understood on the first date what unites you, choose a place for the second meeting. You can go to the theatre, to the cinema, to an exhibition or to a park. The first impression of the partner has already been formed, and now you evaluate his behavior, habits and reactions.

On a second date, you can let yourself be held by the hand - this indicates that you trust a man. If he is not looking for easy prey, he will calmly react to your restraint. Studies show that it is during the second meeting that the hormone phenylethylamine, which is responsible for falling in love, begins to be produced.

Third date

Choose a beautiful place for the third date where you can chat during long walks to get to know each other even better. Long conversations create the effect of rapprochement of kindred souls. Share your childhood memories with your family and friends.

Talk about what you love and what you don't. Show what you are in everyday life. Listen carefully to your interlocutor and remember what he tells you, just in case. Subsequently, you will be able to compare his stories with reality. On the third date, you can allow yourself to be hugged by the shoulders, but at the same time remain a lady and allow only your hands to be kissed.

fourth date

During the fourth date introduce your chosen one to your friends, among which may be your familiar men. In this way, you will understand how easily he approaches strangers, and how he will behave when there is someone else, male, next to you.

Usually the fourth date is filled with romantic emotions that overflow. For all compliments after this meeting, answer with a smile and a happy look. Believe me, this will be enough!

Fifth date

By the fifth date, you already know a lot of interesting things about each other and were able to see your man in various situations. If, up to this point, you have not allowed him any liberties and at the same time, he is still with you, then he appreciates you as a person. This is a positive thing.

The fifth meeting is special. It's time to get to know each other better in some special, romantic setting. Knowing each other better, understanding what character your chosen one has, sorting out your feelings, you can reciprocate the signs of attention given to you. By giving him your kiss, you will show that you trust him with the keys to your heart, and make him feel like a winner.

As you probably already understood, the main aspect in the rule of five dates is time. Both of you are given the opportunity to evaluate each other with reason, logically. Following this rule, you will not lose your vigilance, and it will be difficult to deceive you. If your chosen one could not stand five dates, then this was not your person and he simply did not deserve you.

I wish you happiness and mutual love!

Many years ago, a friend of mine said something that completely changed my views on sex and relationships. He said: “Before a woman gets into bed with a man for the first time, she has complete power over him, after the first sex, the power completely passes into his hands.” Since then, I have repeated this phrase countless times to both men and women, and most often heard in response: “That's SO true!” You can agree or disagree with this statement, however, one thing is absolutely clear - sex significantly changes relationships: after it, your relationship will either become deeper and stronger, or turn into banal sex without obligations.

Most men want sex, most women want commitment. This does not mean that men do not need commitment. Of course they are needed. But not this, but sex is the driving force for them. You can accuse the representatives of the stronger sex as much as you like in bad upbringing, natural inclinations, cultural prejudices (when a man who has slept with a lot of women is a macho, and a woman who has slept with several men is a whore), but the fact remains:

A woman decides to give or not to give a man sex, a man - to give or not to give a woman obligations...

It is important to know one thing - the decision to sleep or not to sleep, and when exactly this can already be done, is up to you. But in any case, it will change your relationship forever.

It has long been proven that the percentage of women who lose interest in a man after the first sex is negligible compared to the number of men who decide that once is enough and they can move on.

My close friend once met an amazing guy on a dating site. Smart, successful and outwardly - an exact copy of Bradley Cooper. And most importantly, neither on the first nor on the second date did the prince demand intimacy from her, they saw each other regularly, once a week, on Saturdays, always at his initiative. Such behavior could not but contribute to a rapid love. That same night happened on the third date. The handsome man did not disappoint in this either. The friend was happy. However, something has changed in the man's behavior. If earlier he started inviting her on a Saturday date on Wednesday evening, now he could forget to do it at all. He continued to text her, but now they were full of sexual innuendo, and when she took the conversation in another direction, he could just disappear in the middle of a conversation. Their beautiful, romantic Saturday dates turned into short meetings for another late-night hookup a couple of times a month.

"What did I do wrong?" my friend asked me later. Afraid of being misunderstood, I did not dare to answer her that the solution is insultingly simple: she slept with the man of her dreams too early. Yes, this really was the problem - she agreed to have sex with him before they figured out exactly what kind of relationship they have, what goals they pursue, what they really have in common, and whether there is any at all. “I only slept with him on the third date!” - she was indignant ... But the problem is that the notorious "rule of the third date" does not work.

If sex happens before emotional interpenetration, no development of the relationship will follow, and it will not work to reboot this relationship either.

I'm not saying that a man must first introduce you to his official girlfriend or confess his love to you. No, this is not about that, but about the fact that before you go to bed, you should feel that you can communicate with each other, dropping masks, you can be yourself when you are together, you can allow yourself to be frank in the way with no one else.

Many women, thanks to their upbringing, have the impression that sex for a man is like a carrot that was hung in front of a rabbit's nose. That with the help of sex, a man can be manipulated and get what he wants from him. So, you know, this is exactly half the truth. I’m telling the other half right now: men don’t appreciate what they think can be easily available to other men as well. If you sleep with a man without first trying to get to know him well, this gives him reason to think that you can just as easily embark on an adventure with any other. If you first choose a heart-to-heart conversation to get to know him better, the man sincerely believes that you made love to him after that because he became special to you. Feel the difference? If he revealed himself to you - sex ceases to be pure physiology for him.

Any women's magazine will certainly teach you: do not go to bed with a man, the longer the better. But not a single article will say that the “abstinence” period is given to you in order to get to know each other more deeply.

Just wasting time, manipulating a man and making him run after you is an endlessly stupid waste of time, and it will not help you build a serious relationship.

Men also love real, natural women. You won’t believe how easily they see the difference between a girl who pretends to be inaccessible in order to be able to manipulate a guy and get him to behave in a certain way, and a girl who respects herself and has not yet decided whether this is the man to go so far with him.

Sex and relationships, from a male point of view, are two big differences. If a guy wants to sleep with you, chances are that's all he wants. Women often consider sex as a measure of the depth of a relationship, they play for time, count the number of dates after which it will be decent to go to bed, but, alas, for a man this can be just a reward for patience. If you agreed to have sex before you penetrated the soul of your partner, you will not get a quality development of the relationship.

You can get stuck in the stage of sex without commitment, or your relationship will run out of steam.

Remember: the three-date rule doesn't work. You need to make sure that he wants sex with you, not sex for the sake of sex. How long it will take, how many dates it will take - sometimes this question is easy to answer, because everything is obvious, but more often you have to dig deep inside yourself to find the right solution.

If you care about him, and you believe with all your heart that your feelings are mutual, and want to express your love on a physical level, go for it. But if you're not sure exactly how a guy feels about you, but you're afraid that by denying him sex, you'll lose him, then, for God's sake, trust your animal instinct and find the strength in yourself to put your own interests first. Sex can't buy commitments that a guy isn't willing to hand out. Not on the first date, not on the third, not on the fifth.

During the act of love, something more than just "rubbing of bodies" must occur. Otherwise, there is a risk of never connecting the night life with the day. And here the already boring, but, nevertheless, eternally relevant advice works again: in order not to be used from time to time, love yourself, work on an improved version of yourself, believe in your value and the world will also believe in it.

First date.

The curly-haired young man shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other as he stood at the entrance to the park. His green eyes, which were looking for someone, were hidden behind glasses. A light T-shirt, so unsuitable for the weather, only slightly allowed to warm up. An unexpected gust of wind scattered neatly arranged curls in different directions.

The weather was unacceptable for rainy London. The sun illuminated the clear blue sky, but then a strong wind began to blow, penetrating to the bones.

Harry, that was the name of the young man, already wanted to give a damn about all the plans for the evening, he would have been very happy to hide behind several layers of blankets with a cup of hot tea in his hands, just not to feel the cold.

And he would have done it right now, if not for the young man who, with all his might, ran to him. His caramel-colored hair was tossed in a chaotic mess, and his cheeks were covered in a crimson blush, as if he had just been showered from head to toe with compliments that made him blush from head to toe.

“Louis, you still came,” said the same curly-haired guy who had only recently shivered from the wind.

"I couldn't help but come, Harry," Louis smiled, revealing a row of white teeth. “I promised, didn't I?

Harry just nodded at this, indicating that the brown-haired man was following him. Petite Louis couldn't keep up with curly-haired Louis, who took big steps towards the fountain. From the outside, all this resembled a terribly funny picture: a tall young man and a small young man who, like a dog, follows the first. And you can't say it wasn't cute. Quite the opposite.

It seemed to Louis that the brick-laid road would never end. And he was infinitely grateful to fate that they finally came to the fountain, which was surrounded by several benches. Couples settled on them, watching the spray, which scattered in different directions, sometimes leaving traces of small drops on clothes.

The young people sat on a bench that was located under a tree, completely blocking them from the sun, but immediately giving full freedom to the wind, which Harry terribly did not like. He got up and walked to the opposite bench while Louis glared at his back. It's not that he's tired. Okay, he's tired. And he did not want to leave his familiar place, because it was so warm on it now. Having sat down, the curly-haired guy threw a bewildered glance towards the brown-haired man, who showed with all his appearance that he did not intend to get up and go anywhere.

“Tomlinson,” Harry shouted, forcing the attention of people passing by, “come here.” Now.

Louis just shook his head from side to side. He didn't care that several pairs of eyes were looking at them now. And it was not awkward, to some extent, it was like a game of two boys in love with each other.

"Don't expect a second date," Harry puffed out his lips.

“We’ll see about that,” the brown-haired woman whispered to herself.

Second date.

Did you know that I hate you? Stiles asked, narrowing his eyes. “How could you even persuade me to do this, I don’t understand.

“It's because you love me,” Louis smiled. Every time he was near this curly-haired miracle, Tomlinson radiated warmth.

They were sitting in some kind of coffee shop, which, by a lucky chance, they wandered into while walking around the evening city. Twilight slowly descended on the earth, leaving only the memory of the day.

“I wonder if they have chocolate chip muffins?” Louis suddenly asked.

“You can find out,” charming dimples appeared on Harry’s face, which had already driven the brown-haired man sitting opposite him crazy.

“You look like a cupcake,” Tomlinson chuckled, like he was a schoolgirl trying to flirt with the prettiest boy in class.

“Hey, that’s not true at all,” Styles said with a funny frown.

- Fine, cake,- Louis said, after which he immediately received a weak blow to the leg.

Third date.

They couldn't say for sure why they were going on a third date, because they didn't try at all to please each other, or moreover, to make one of them fall in love with the other.

And now these funny boys were sitting in some restaurant, where this time Harry brought Louis. The latter's eyes shone, and a slight smile played on his lips.

They were brought the menu, providing a full selection of different dishes. Stiles immediately made his choice, and Louis just mumbled something, looking down at the empty plate in front of him.

- Is there something wrong? Harry asked, gently caressing Tomlinson's arm with his fingertips, which made the latter goosebumps.

“It’s all unusual for me,” Louis whispered, wrinkling his nose in a funny way.

“You’ll get used to it soon,” Stiles said, cupping Brown’s hand. “It won't be the last time we go to places like this.

Fourth date.

"Harry, you're crazy," Louis laughed all over the street. The thing was that this curly-haired asshole was impatient to try on a woman's dress of bright red color.

“Hey, you hurt my feelings,” Stiles said offended. - I just wanted to demonstrate my external data, but I was brazenly kicked out.

“I seem to be falling in love with you,” Tomlinson chuckled. “And there's nothing I can do about it.

"I think it's mutual, Lou," Harry smiled broadly as he approached the brown-haired man. His eyes fell on thin lips, which were now coquettishly bitten. - Can? the curly-haired man asked hoarsely, to which he received an affirmative nod.

Their lips matched perfectly, as if they were made for that. And the languages ​​that were already in full control of foreign territory only confirmed this even more.

And Harry thought that this would not be his last kiss with Louis.

Fifth date.

Today was surprisingly clear weather, which really beckoned to nature. Now everything seemed incredibly alive and flourishing.

Two young people settled down under a tree, kissing tenderly. The kiss was like a toffee, the same viscous and cloying. The skin melted under the fingertips that touched the collarbones.

Curly made an incomprehensible noise that made Louis frown, but continued to caress Harry's lips anyway.

“Louis,” a groan escaped Stiles' lips as Tomlinson's lips moved to his neck, nibbling lightly on it, “they promised rain today.

- I don't care. Louis whispered into Curly's ear, sucking on his earlobe. - I want to enjoy you.

“We're breaking the law if we do this in a public place,” Styles groaned as the brown-haired man circled his ear with the tip of his tongue.

“What are you thinking, lustful pervert?” Louis laughed.

Harry did not have time to say anything, because all of a sudden it began to rain, which was clearly not warm and warming. They quickly packed up and got into the car, heading home to the curly. No, they, of course, visited each other. But until that moment, Louis had never thought about Harry. No, he thought, but he could not yet imagine their closeness. Exactly this.

The car stopped at a cozy house, which beckoned to itself. The baked-milk-coloured walls were pleasing to the eye, and a small, planted garden in the front yard added a certain coziness to the atmosphere.

They were already settled in the house and drinking warming tea, when the rain outside the window intensified. The weather did not match the mood of the young people, who smiled sweetly at each other.

"I'd like to try you, cake," Louis blurted out in one breath.

"I don't think I would mind at all," Harry smiled.