Days of special commemoration of the deceased. How to commemorate the dead correctly: folk traditions and the opinion of priests Is it possible to commemorate on Shrovetide

The hour is coming when the remains of the deceased are buried in the earth, where they will rest until the end of time and the general resurrection. But the love of the mother of the Church for her child, who has passed away from this life, does not dry out. On certain days, she prays for the deceased and brings a bloodless sacrifice for his repose. Special days of commemoration are the third, ninth and fortieth (while the day of death is considered the first). Commemoration these days is consecrated by an ancient church custom. It is consistent with the teaching of the Church about the state of the soul beyond the grave.

For the first two days, the soul of the deceased is still on earth, passing along with the Angel accompanying her to those places that attract her with memories of earthly joys and sorrows, evil and good deeds. The soul that loves the body sometimes wanders around the house where the body is laid, and thus spends two days like a bird looking for its nest. The virtuous soul, on the other hand, walks in those places where it used to do the right thing. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him, the God of all. Therefore, the church commemoration of the soul, which appeared before the face of the Just, is very timely.

Ninth day. The commemoration of the deceased on this day is in honor of the nine orders of angels, who, as servants of the King of Heaven and intercessors to Him for us, intercede for mercy on the deceased.

After the third day, the soul, accompanied by an Angel, enters the heavenly abodes and contemplates their inexpressible beauty. She remains in this state for six days. For this time, the soul forgets the sorrow that it felt while in the body and after leaving it. But if she is guilty of sins, then at the sight of the enjoyment of the saints, she begins to grieve and reproach herself: “Alas for me! How busy I am in this world! I spent most of my life in carelessness and did not serve God as I should, so that I too would be worthy of this grace and glory. Alas, poor me!” On the ninth day, the Lord commands the Angels to again present the soul to Him for worship. With fear and trembling the soul stands before the throne of the Most High. But even at this time, the holy Church again prays for the deceased, asking the merciful Judge to place the soul of her child with the saints.

Fortieth day. The forty-day period is very significant in the history and tradition of the Church as the time necessary for preparation, for the acceptance of the special Divine gift of the grace-filled help of the Heavenly Father. The prophet Moses was honored to talk with God on Mount Sinai and receive the tablets of the law from Him only after a forty-day fast. The Israelites reached the promised land after forty years of wandering. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His resurrection. Taking all this as a basis, the Church established a commemoration on the fortieth day after death, so that the soul of the deceased ascended the holy mountain of Heavenly Sinai, was rewarded with the sight of God, achieved the blessedness promised to her and settled in heavenly villages with the righteous.

After the second worship of the Lord, the angels take the soul to hell, and she contemplates the cruel torments of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day, the soul ascends for the third time to worship God, and then its fate is decided - for earthly affairs, it is assigned a place of residence until the Last Judgment. That is why church prayers and commemorations on this day are so timely. They blot out the sins of the deceased and ask his soul to be placed in paradise with the saints.

Anniversary. The Church commemorates the dead on the anniversary of their death. The basis for this establishment is obvious. It is known that the largest liturgical cycle is the annual circle, after which all fixed holidays are repeated again. The anniversary of the death of a loved one is always celebrated with at least a hearty commemoration of his loving relatives and friends. For an Orthodox believer, this is a birthday for a new, eternal life.

Ecumenical funeral service (PARENTAL SATURDAYS)

In addition to these days, the Church has established special days for the solemn, universal, ecumenical commemoration of all fathers and brothers who have passed away from the age of faith, who have been honored with a Christian death, as well as those who, having been overtaken by sudden death, were not sent to the afterlife by the prayers of the Church. The requiems performed at the same time, indicated by the charter of the Ecumenical Church, are called ecumenical, and the days on which the commemoration is performed are called ecumenical parental Saturdays. In the circle of the liturgical year, such days of general remembrance are:

Saturday is meatless. Dedicating the Meat-Feast Week to the remembrance of the last Last Judgment of Christ, the Church, in view of this judgment, has established intercession not only for her living members, but also for all those who have died from time immemorial, who have lived in piety, of all genera, ranks and conditions, especially for those who died a sudden death. and pray to the Lord for mercy on them. The solemn all-church commemoration of the departed on this Saturday (as well as on Trinity Saturday) brings great benefit and help to our dead fathers and brothers, and at the same time serves as an expression of the fullness of the Church life that we live. For salvation is possible only in the Church - a community of believers, whose members are not only those who live, but also all who die in the faith. And communion with them through prayer, prayerful commemoration of them is the expression of our common unity in the Church of Christ.

Saturday Trinity. The commemoration of all the dead pious Christians was established on the Saturday before Pentecost due to the fact that the event of the descent of the Holy Spirit completed the economy of the salvation of man, and the departed also participate in this salvation. Therefore, the Church, sending up prayers on Pentecost for the revival of all living by the Holy Spirit, asks on the very day of the feast that for the departed the grace of the all-holy and all-sanctifying Spirit of the Comforter, which they were honored during their lifetime, would be a source of bliss, since by the Holy Spirit “every soul is alive.” ". Therefore, the eve of the holiday, Saturday, the Church dedicates to the remembrance of the dead, to prayer for them. St. Basil the Great, who compiled the touching prayers for the Vespers of Pentecost, says in them that the Lord, most of all, on this day deigns to accept prayers for the dead and even for "those who are held in hell."

Parental Saturdays of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Holy Forty Days. On Holy Forty Days - the days of Great Lent, spiritual feat, the feat of repentance and doing good to others - the Church calls on believers to be in the closest union of Christian love and peace not only with the living, but also with the dead, to make prayerful commemoration on the appointed days of those who have departed from this life. In addition, the Saturdays of these weeks are appointed by the Church to commemorate the departed also for the reason that no funeral commemorations are performed on the weekly days of Great Lent (this includes funeral litanies, litias, memorial services, commemoration of the 3rd, 9th and 40th days after death, forty-mouthed), since there is no daily full liturgy, with the celebration of which the commemoration of the dead is associated. In order not to deprive the dead of the saving intercession of the Church on the days of Holy Forty Days, the indicated Saturdays are singled out.

Radonitsa. The basis of the general commemoration of the dead, which takes place on Tuesday after St. Thomas' week (Sunday), is, on the one hand, the remembrance of the descent of Jesus Christ into hell and His victory over death, combined with St. Thomas Sunday, on the other hand, the permission of the church charter to perform the usual commemoration after Holy and Bright weeks, starting with Fomin Monday. On this day, believers come to the graves of their loved ones with the joyful news of the Resurrection of Christ. Hence the very day of commemoration is called Radonitsa (or Radunitsa).

Unfortunately, in Soviet times, the custom was established to visit cemeteries not on Radonitsa, but on the first day of Easter. It is natural for a believer to visit the graves of his loved ones after an earnest prayer for their repose in the temple - after a memorial service served in the church. During the Easter week there are no requiems, for Easter is an all-encompassing joy for those who believe in the Resurrection of our Savior Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, during the entire Paschal week, litanies for the dead are not pronounced (although the usual commemoration is performed at the proskomedia), and memorial services are not served.

CHURCH FUNERAL SERVICES

It is necessary to commemorate the deceased in the Church as often as possible, not only on the designated special days of commemoration, but also on any other day. The Church performs the main prayer for the repose of the departed Orthodox Christians at the Divine Liturgy, bringing a bloodless sacrifice to God for them. To do this, before the start of the liturgy (or the night before), a note with their names should be submitted to the church (only baptized Orthodox can be entered). On the proskomedia, particles for their repose will be taken out of the prosphora, which at the end of the liturgy will be lowered into the holy cup and washed with the Blood of the Son of God. Let us remember that this is the greatest good that we can give to those who are dear to us. Here is how the commemoration at the liturgy is said in the Epistle of the Eastern Patriarchs: “We believe that the souls of people who fell into mortal sins and did not despair at death, but repented even before being separated from real life, only did not have time to bear any fruits of repentance (such fruits could be their prayers, tears, kneeling during prayerful vigils, contrition, consolation of the poor and expression in deeds of love for God and neighbor), - the souls of such people descend into hell and suffer punishment for the sins they have committed, without losing, however, the hope of relief. They receive relief through the infinite goodness of God through the prayers of priests and good works done for the dead, and especially through the power of bloodless sacrifice, which, in particular, the clergy brings for every Christian for his loved ones, and in general for everyone, the Catholic and Apostolic Church daily brings.

At the top of the note is usually placed an eight-pointed Orthodox cross. Then the type of commemoration is indicated - “On the repose”, after which the names of those commemorated in the genitive case are written in large, legible handwriting (to answer the question “who?”), With the clergy and monastics mentioned first, indicating the rank and degree of monasticism (for example, Metropolitan John, Schemagumen Savva, Archpriest Alexander, nun Rachel, Andrey, Nina).

All names must be given in church spelling (for example, Tatiana, Alexy) and in full (Michael, Lyubov, not Misha, Lyuba).

The number of names in the note does not matter; it is only necessary to take into account that the priest has the opportunity to read not very long notes more carefully. Therefore, it is better to submit several notes if you want to remember many of your loved ones.

By submitting notes, the parishioner makes a donation for the needs of the monastery or temple. To avoid confusion, remember that the difference in prices (registered or simple notes) only reflects the difference in the amount of the donation. Nor should you be embarrassed if you have not heard the names of your relatives mentioned in the litany. As mentioned above, the main commemoration takes place on the proskomedia, when particles are taken out of the prosphora. During the funeral litany, you can take out your commemoration book and pray for loved ones. Prayer will be more effective if the one who commemorates himself on that day partakes of the Body and Blood of Christ.

After the liturgy, you can serve a memorial service. A memorial service is served before the eve - a special table with the image of a crucifix and rows of candlesticks. Here you can also leave an offering for the needs of the temple in memory of the departed loved ones.

It is very important after death to order a magpie in the temple - an unceasing commemoration at the liturgy for forty days. At the end of the magpie, you can order again. There are also long periods of commemoration - six months, a year. Some monasteries accept notes for eternal (as long as the monastery stands) commemoration or for commemoration during the reading of the Psalter (this is an ancient Orthodox custom). The more churches that pray, the better for our neighbor!

It is very useful on the memorable days of the deceased to donate to the church, to give alms to the poor with a request to pray for him. On the eve, you can bring sacrificed food. You can’t just bring meat food and alcohol (except church wine) on the eve. The simplest type of sacrifice for the deceased is a candle that is placed on his repose.

Understanding that the most we can do for our deceased loved ones is to submit a note of commemoration at the liturgy, we should not forget to pray for them at home and do works of mercy.

REMEMBERING THE DEAD AT HOME PRAYER

Prayer for the departed is our main and invaluable help to those who have departed to another world. The deceased does not need, by and large, either a coffin, or a grave monument, and even more so a memorial table - all this is just a tribute to traditions, albeit very pious ones. But the eternally living soul of the deceased feels a great need for constant prayer, for she cannot do good deeds herself, with which she would be able to propitiate the Lord. Prayer at home for loved ones, including the dead, is the duty of every Orthodox. St. Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow, says this about prayer for the departed: “If the all-pervading Wisdom of God does not forbid praying for the dead, does this not mean that it is still allowed to throw a rope, although not always reliable enough, but sometimes, and maybe often, salvific for souls who have fallen away from the shore of temporal life, but have not reached the eternal home? Salvatory for those souls who vacillate over the abyss between bodily death and the last judgment of Christ, now rising by faith, now plunging into deeds unworthy of it, now exalted by grace, now being brought down by the remains of a damaged nature, now ascending by Divine desire, now becoming entangled in coarse, not yet completely stripped off the clothes of earthly thoughts ... "

The home prayer commemoration of the deceased Christian is very diverse. One should especially pray for the deceased in the first forty days after his death. As already indicated in the section “Reading the Psalter for the Dead”, during this period it is very useful to read about the deceased Psalter, at least one kathisma a day. You can also recommend reading an akathist for the repose of the dead. In general, the Church commands us to pray every day for the deceased parents, relatives, known and benefactors. For this, the following short prayer is included in the number of daily morning prayers:

Prayer for the dead

Give rest, O Lord, to the souls of your departed servants: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names), and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.

It is more convenient to read the names from the commemorative book - a small book where the names of living and deceased relatives are recorded. There is a pious custom to keep family commemorations, reading which Orthodox people commemorate many generations of their deceased ancestors by name.

FUNERAL MEAL

The pious custom of commemorating the dead at a meal has been known for a very long time. But, unfortunately, many commemorations turn into an occasion for relatives to get together, discuss the news, eat tasty food, while Orthodox Christians should also pray for the departed at the memorial table.

Before the meal, one should perform a lithium - a short rite of memorial service, which can be performed by a layman. In extreme cases, you need to at least read the 90th psalm and the prayer "Our Father". The first dish that is eaten at the wake is kutya (kolyovo). These are boiled grains of cereals (wheat or rice) with honey and raisins. Grains are a symbol of resurrection, and honey is a sweetness enjoyed by the righteous in the Kingdom of God. According to the charter, kutya should be consecrated with a special rite during a memorial service; if this is not possible, it is necessary to sprinkle it with holy water.

Naturally, the desire of the owners to treat everyone who came to the commemoration to taste better. But you need to observe the fasts established by the Church, and eat the allowed food: on Wednesday, Friday, during long fasts - do not eat fast. If the memory of the deceased happens on a weekday of Great Lent, then the commemoration is transferred to the next Saturday or Sunday.

It is necessary to refrain from wine, especially from vodka, at the memorial meal! The dead are not commemorated with wine! Wine is a symbol of earthly joy, and a commemoration is an occasion for intense prayer for a person who may suffer greatly in the afterlife. You should not drink alcohol, even if the deceased himself liked to drink. It is known that "drunken" commemorations often turn into an ugly gathering, where the deceased is simply forgotten. At the table, you need to remember the deceased, his good qualities and deeds (hence the name - commemoration). The custom of leaving a glass of vodka and a piece of bread “for the deceased” at the table is a relic of paganism and should not be observed in Orthodox families.

On the contrary, there are pious practices worthy of emulation. In many Orthodox families, the poor and the poor, children and old women are the first to sit down at the memorial table. They can also distribute clothes and belongings of the deceased. Orthodox people can tell about numerous cases of evidence from the afterlife about the great help to the dead as a result of the creation of alms by their relatives. Moreover, the loss of loved ones prompts many people to take the first step towards God, to begin to live the life of an Orthodox Christian.

Thus, one now living archimandrite relates the following incident from his pastoral practice.

“It was in the difficult post-war years. Comes to me, the rector of the village church, a mother crying with grief, in which her eight-year-old son Misha drowned. And she says that Misha dreamed of her and complained about the cold - he was completely without clothes. I say to her: "Are any of his clothes left?" - "Yes, sure". - "Give it to your friends Mishin, they will surely come in handy."

A few days later, she tells me that she again saw Misha in a dream: he was dressed in exactly the same clothes that were given to his friends. He thanked, but now complained of hunger. I advised to make a memorial meal for the village children - Misha's friends and acquaintances. No matter how difficult it is in difficult times, but what can you do for your beloved son! And the woman, than she could, treated the children.

She came for the third time. She thanked me very much: "Misha said in a dream that now he is warm and full, only my prayers are not enough." I taught her prayers and advised her not to leave works of mercy for the future. She became a zealous parishioner, always ready to respond to requests for help, to the best of her ability and ability she helped orphans, the poor and the poor.”

• What to do when a loved one dies?


• Can funerals be done at home?


• Why close the mirrors in the house?


• What prayers to read for repose?


• How to organize a memorial?


• When can you visit the cemetery?


• How to pray for the dead?


• What to do on parental Saturdays and what notes of repose should be submitted?

WITH the death of loved ones… Everyone faces it sooner or later. The hour is coming when a loved one has finished his earthly journey, and his soul ascends to its Creator. In a state of grief and sadness, people sometimes get lost and do not know how to do everything right. Unfortunately, quite often relatives are limited only to holding a commemoration on memorable days and church notes about the repose. But this alone is not enough. What is our duty to the departed, how can we help our loved ones, who are no longer around? We have collected the most important advice from experienced priests and recommendations from the site http://www.memoriam.ru

How to see an Orthodox Christian on his last journey

• If a person has been diagnosed with a fatal diagnosis and relatives already know about the inevitable death, it must be remembered that the best preparation for the transition to another world for any Christian is Confession and Communion. Since it is impossible to give communion to people who are unconscious (and the deterioration of the patient's condition can occur suddenly), you need to invite a priest in advance.


• A dying person, if he is conscious, can be given antidoron and holy water. At this moment, the prayers of loved ones are especially important.


• If the approach of death becomes apparent, a special "The Canon at the Separation of the Soul from the Body".


• After a person has rested (he has gone to the Lord in another world), you should immediately start reading "Following the Exodus of the Soul from the Body"(if it is not possible to invite a priest, then relatives or acquaintances can read).


• After that, it is necessary to read the Psalter (preferably until the removal of the body continuously and, if possible, daily until the 40th day). It is better to read to relatives, replacing each other, because thanks to this prayer they themselves receive peace and comfort from the Lord. You can also order the reading of the Psalter in a temple or monastery. If it is impossible to ensure uninterrupted reading of the Psalter, it is advisable to read it at least a few psalms a day. It's better than nothing.


• Consequences "On the Exodus of the Soul", "On the Exodus of the Soul" and the Psalter need not be read directly in front of the dying person. If a person dies in the hospital, you can pray at home. The main thing is to help a loved one with prayer in these difficult moments for his soul.


• If a person rested on Bright Week (from the day of Holy Pascha to Saturday of Bright Week inclusive), then instead of the canon “After the Exodus of the Soul”, the Easter Canon is read, and instead of the Psalter, the Acts of the Holy Apostles.


• The coffin is usually placed facing east. You can follow this tradition.


• The deceased must wear a pectoral cross.


• Burial clothes are chosen according to the mundane status of the deceased. The military, firefighters, policemen usually rely on the coffin in uniform, the laity - in any clothes at the discretion of relatives or according to the will of the newly deceased. A shroud or church cover is traditionally used to cover the body.


• Hands are folded on the chest, right over the left. A funeral cross is usually placed in the left, and a holy icon is placed on the chest (for men - the image of the Savior, for women - the image of the Mother of God).


• In church shops you can buy a set for burial. It usually includes: funeral clothes, aureole, permissive prayer, a cross, a candle and an icon. The chaplet is a paper strip with the image of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Mother of God and John the Baptist with a prayer "Trisagion". The aureole symbolizes the faith of the deceased and his Christian life with hope in God and our prayerful hope that after the resurrection the deceased will receive a heavenly reward - an incorruptible crown from the Lord and bliss in heavenly cloisters. After the funeral, the priest puts the permissive prayer together with the cross in the hand of the deceased.


• You can prepare a set for burial in advance. Some Christians do this even during their lifetime, remembering their death, which attunes the soul to an attentive and pious spiritual life.

superstition

• There is no need to hang mirrors, computers, televisions with cloth at home, put a glass of vodka, etc. - all these are superstitions of pagan origin, which have nothing to do with Orthodoxy.


• The custom of cleaning the house after the removal of the body also does not need to be turned into a special ritual. Opinions that it is necessary to wash everything before the burial of the body to the ground and that persons who are not related by blood to the deceased should do the cleaning is also a superstition.


• The custom of leaving a glass of vodka, bread and other food in the cemetery is a relic of paganism and should not be observed by the Orthodox.


• In Soviet times, it was customary to visit the cemetery on the first day of Easter, but this is not true. With God, everyone is alive, and Easter is a special time of all-encompassing joy for believers, therefore, during the entire Easter week, prayers for the dead are not said. According to tradition, they go to the cemetery for Radonitsa (from the word "joy") - this is the ninth day after Easter, when the first memorial service is served after Easter week. We pray for our departed loved ones with hope in God's mercy and rejoice in the Bright Resurrection of Christ.

Funeral

• According to the Charter, the funeral service is performed only in the temple. Only in the event that there is no church nearby, it is possible to perform the funeral in absentia or at home.


• During the funeral according to the ancient rite of Christian burial, the priest blesses a handful of earth (sand) and sprinkles the coffin crosswise. During the funeral service in absentia, the priest passes this sand to relatives. They also need to sprinkle the body of the deceased crosswise, and if the burial has already been completed, then sprinkle it on the grave. The opinion that it is impossible to bring sand home is also a superstition.


• Christians are to accompany their loved ones on their last journey in quiet prayer; deliberate mourning, loud sobs and cries are completely inappropriate.


• There is no need to invite an orchestra for the funeral: mourning music depresses and interferes with prayer. During the transfer of the coffin to the temple for the funeral service and from the temple to the cemetery, it is usually sung "Trisagion".


• Monuments erected on the graves of deceased Christians are quite acceptable. Traditionally, crosses are placed on the graves of the Orthodox and flowers are brought.


• The inscriptions on monuments and wreaths should express not inconsolable sorrow and despair, but love and our faith. It is better to choose the words of the inscriptions from the Holy Scriptures and consult with the priest.

Funeral meals (commemoration)

• A commemoration on the day of the funeral (as well as on other established days) must be arranged according to the Church Charter. On matters of reasonable relaxation of fasting, you need to seek a blessing from the priest.


• "Commemoration" of the dead with any kind of alcohol is absolutely unacceptable and is not a church tradition.


• According to the Charter, on Sundays, the Twelfth Feasts and weekdays of Great Lent, no commemoration is performed. Great Lent - are transferred to the nearest Saturday before this day. But in practice there are exceptions, so it is better to consult with the priest personally.


• The custom of remembering the dead should not turn into a simple excuse for relatives to get together, discuss the news and eat deliciously. A memorial meal is a kind of alms that the family provides not only to relatives and friends, but also to other people in need with a request to pray for the deceased. Because prayer and almsgiving are the main reason for arranging memorial meals.


• Litiya must be performed before the meal. To do this, you can invite a priest and ask him to preach a sermon for those present. If this is not possible, this rite can be performed by a clergyman or a layman.


• The first dish, which is usually eaten at the wake, is kutya (kolivo). These are boiled grains of cereals (wheat or rice) with honey and raisins. Grains serve as a symbol of resurrection, and honey - sweetness and bliss, which are enjoyed by the righteous in the Kingdom of God. According to the Charter, kutya should be consecrated by a priest during a memorial service; if this is not possible, it is necessary to sprinkle it with holy water.


• Instead of a meaningless atheistic phrase: "Let the earth rest in peace to him," you need to briefly pray: “God rest, Lord, the soul of Your newly-departed servant (th) [name], and forgive him (her) all his (her) sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant the Kingdom of Heaven.”


• You can’t have idle conversations at the table, but you need to honor the memory of the deceased (hence the name - commemoration), because we remember him in prayers, remember his good deeds and good qualities.


• It is better to invite the needy first to the memorial table - the poor and the poor, children and old people. After all, initially you need to strive to create alms in memory of the deceased, and not to please friends and relatives with a good feast.

By and large, a deceased person does not need a coffin, or a grave monument, much less a memorial table - all this is just a tribute to traditions, albeit very pious ones. These traditions are an external symbol of our prayer and have no meaning without it. The soul of the deceased feels a great need for our constant prayer, for it can no longer do good deeds and pray for itself. The biggest and most important thing we can do for the departed is to pray and do good deeds in honor of their blessed memory. This will be our main and invaluable help to relatives and friends who have passed into another world.

Days of Special Remembrance for the Dead

E There are special days of commemoration when special prayers are made for the deceased, which are consistent with the teaching of the Church about the state of the soul beyond the grave. This is the third, ninth and fortieth after death (while the day of death is considered the first).

• The third day. Commemoration is performed in honor of the three-day Resurrection of Jesus Christ and in the image of the Most Holy Trinity. According to Church Tradition, for the first two days the soul of the deceased is still on earth, passing along with the angel accompanying it through the places of earthly memories. On the third day, the Lord commands the soul to ascend to heaven to worship Him.


• Ninth day. Commemoration is performed in honor of the nine orders of angels, who, as messengers of God and intercessors to Him for us, intercede for the pardon of the newly deceased. Accompanied by an angel, the soul enters heavenly abodes and contemplates their inexpressible beauty. She remains in this state for six days. At this time, the soul forgets all sorrow. On the ninth day, the Lord commands the angels to again present the soul to Him for worship.


• Fortieth day. The forty-day period is very significant in the history and Tradition of the Church as the time necessary for the acceptance of the special Divine gift of God's grace-filled help. Prophet Moses received the tablets from the Lord after a forty-day fast. The Israelites reached the Promised Land after forty years of wandering. Our Lord Jesus Christ Himself ascended into heaven on the fortieth day after His Resurrection. After the second worship of the Lord, the angels take the soul to hell, and she contemplates the cruel torments of unrepentant sinners. On the fortieth day, the soul ascends for the third time to worship God, and then its fate is decided - according to earthly affairs, it is assigned a place of residence until the Last Judgment.


• Anniversary. The reason for the special commemoration of the dead on the anniversary of death is that the largest liturgical cycle is the annual circle. For a believer, this is a memory of a birthday for a new, eternal life.

Ecumenical requiems (Parental Saturdays)

C The Church has established special days of solemn universal commemoration of the dead, which brings great help to our deceased loved ones. At the same time, memorial services are called Ecumenical, and the days on which the commemoration is performed are called Ecumenical parental Saturdays.

• Saturday is meatless. This is the Saturday of Shrovetide week before Forgiveness Sunday. Devoting this week to the remembrance of the Last Judgment, the Church has established prayerful intercession not only for the living, but also for the dead Christians.


• Saturday Trinity. The commemoration was established on the Saturday before Pentecost due to the fact that the event of the Descent of the Holy Spirit ended the dispensation of the salvation of man, and both the living and the dead participate in this salvation.


• Saturdays 2nd, 3rd and 4th weeks of Great Lent. On the weekdays of Great Lent, there are no commemorations for the dead, since the full liturgy is not served at this time. Therefore, during the days of Great Lent, special Saturdays are allocated for commemoration of the deceased.


• Radonitsa. The commemoration takes place on Tuesday after St. Thomas Week and serves as a remembrance of the descent of Jesus Christ into hell and His victory over death. Also on this day, the Church Charter for the first time after Easter is allowed to make the usual commemoration of the dead. On this day, believers come to the graves of their loved ones with the joyful news of the Resurrection of Christ. From here came the name of this day - Radonitsa.

Church funeral services

• funeral service- this is a prayer service for the soul of the newly deceased, once performed over the deceased. It can be done in absentia when it is not possible to bring the body of the deceased to the temple.


• Divine Liturgy- a service at which the main prayer for the repose of Orthodox Christians is performed.


• memorial service- a prayer for the deceased, which is served after the liturgy - before the Holy Crucifixion.


• Sorokoust- this is the commemoration of the deceased at the liturgy for forty days. There are also longer periods - six months, a year. Some monasteries accept notes for eternal remembrance. Of course, it is better when more people pray for your loved one, so notes can be submitted an unlimited number of times in different monasteries and temples.


• There are also litany for the dead, vespers and matins (parastas).

As for the prayer for the suicidal, there is a rite of prayerful consolation for the relatives of the belly of the one who voluntarily died. In addition to performing the proposed rite, relatives and friends can take over, with the blessing of the priest, the private reading of the prayer of the Monk Leo of Optina. Most of all, the distribution of alms for them and the pious life of their relatives and friends help such dead people.

Church notes

• Before the start of the liturgy (or the night before), notes with the names of the deceased should be submitted to the church (only baptized Orthodox Christians can be entered). On the proskomedia, particles are removed from the prosphora for their repose, which at the end of the liturgy are lowered into the Chalice with the Holy Gifts.


• A cross is depicted at the top of the note, the type of commemoration is indicated below - "About repose", then the names of those commemorated in the genitive case are written. The first to be mentioned are clergy and monastics with an indication of their rank (for example, On the Repose of: Patriarch Alexy, Metropolitan Proclus, Sheikhumen Savva, Archpriest Alexy, nun Vera, John, Taisia, Alexander). All names must be in church spelling (for example: not Sveta, but Photinia).


• By submitting notes, we make a donation to charitable assistance to the temple and those in need.


• Don't worry if you don't hear the names of your relatives mentioned during the service. The main commemoration takes place in the altar.

Adviсe

• On parental Saturdays, it is customary to visit churches and the graves of deceased relatives, to serve requiems and funeral litias in churches and cemeteries, to arrange memorial meals. Meanwhile, the Church strongly advises not to forget about memorable dates: the birthday of the deceased, the dates of his death and name day. These days it is necessary to remember him especially.


• There is a pious custom to receive communion on the days of memory of relatives and friends. The prayer of a person who has cleansed his soul by repentance and has approached the Holy Mysteries of Christ is especially pleasing to the Lord.


• The simplest kind of mercy is candles that are placed for repose. But it is very useful on the memorial days of the deceased to make donations, give alms to those in need with a request to pray for their deceased relative. On eve(a table next to a crucifix and a rectangular candlestick) you can bring food - this is also our alms in memory of deceased relatives.


• We receive relief of the soul through the infinite goodness of God and our holy prayers, so we should not hesitate to ask the priests and, of course, ourselves constantly pray for our departed. The ever-living soul has a great need for constant prayer. Prayer is the most important and invaluable help that we can provide to those who have departed to another world.

Commemoration at home prayer

• Home (cell) prayer for neighbors is the duty of any Christian. The Church commands us to pray daily for the repose of loved ones. Therefore, the prayer is included in the text of the morning rule: “God give rest, Lord, to the souls of your departed servants: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names) and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, free and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.”


• Especially fervently one should pray for the deceased in the first forty days after his death. During this period, it is necessary to read the Psalter about the deceased, at least one kathisma per day. You can also read the funeral canon.


• It is more convenient to read the names from the commemoration book - a special booklet where the names of loved ones are recorded for church and private (home) commemoration. There is a pious custom to keep family synodics, reading which Orthodox people commemorate many generations of their ancestors.

Prayer for the dead

Give rest, Lord, to the souls of the departed Thy servants (names) and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven. Grant, Lord, the forgiveness of sins to all those who have departed in the faith and hope of the resurrection, our fathers, brothers and sisters, and create for them an eternal memory.

Eternal Truths

A The apostle Paul urges us not to indulge in intense grief: “I do not want to leave you, brethren, in ignorance of the dead, so that you do not grieve like others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, then God will bring those who have died in Jesus with Him.”

1 Thess. 4:13-14

IN The greatest benefit to the departed is brought by the prayers performed for them at the liturgy and the alms distributed, for nothing lent to God will perish, everything returns with great abundance.

Saint John of Damascus

M We are afraid of death because we live in negligence and do not have a clear conscience. Thus, let us begin to fear sin better, for what is fearful in death is everything from sin.

Saint John Chrysostom

WITH Strive to live in such a way that in the hour of death you will rejoice more than be afraid. We are born to die and we die to live. Love death as a friend who leads us to God.

Venerable Nil of Sinai

IN All people die, but not all die the same death. Righteous and sinful people die differently. A bad life has a bad end. A righteous person is never as close to his happiness as at death. What he wished for in life is fulfilled for him at the hour of death. Live holy to die holy.

Saint Innocent, Archbishop of Kherson and Taurida

L love spiritually unites those who are separated by place and time… It is not so much to weep for the dead as to pray that they, when they are in a blessed life, would pray for us.

Filaret, Archbishop of Chernigov

TO just as one who falls asleep in the evening awakens in the morning with a renewed vigor of life, so one who has fallen asleep with bodily death will awaken into a new, immortal life on the day of the general resurrection.

Saint Philaret, Metropolitan of Moscow

Metropolitan Anthony of Surozh consoled the relatives of the deceased with these words:

"P mourning for the dead is not Christian. Despondency and sadness break everything. To be discouraged is the lot of those who do not know God and do not believe in Him. We must pray to the Lord that He would grant the departed salvation and the Kingdom of Heaven! We think of death as parting, but we forget that death is at the same time a meeting of the soul with God, an entry into that fullness of life that is not available to anyone on earth. That is why through tears, we can rejoice for the deceased. His time of struggle and suffering, searching and sorrow has ended, and now he is in a different light, where eternal love reigns! And we mysteriously contemplate the majestic meeting of God and man... The moment when a man's earthly path ends and he comes to his real home, where he is endlessly loved and expected.

Parental Saturdays are days of special commemoration of the departed, when with our prayers we can provide great help to relatives and friends who have passed away from earthly life. It is possible to remember those who have not been with you for a long time at other times, however, these days are considered special in order to help kindred souls cleanse themselves by praying for them sincerely and with love.

Parental days are called because all the deceased are considered to have gone to their parents, ancestors. They commemorate all those who have gone to another world, but first of all, those closest to them.

From time immemorial, pancakes were specially baked for ancestors, and the first pancake was placed on the shrine, dormer window or roof, left on graves in the cemetery, and pancakes were distributed to children, beggars and nuns with a request to remember their ancestors.

On this day, it is customary to go to church services, make donations, visit the graves of the dead and decorate them with flowers. You can bring food to the temple, which the ministers will distribute to needy people for remembrance, put candles. The church also advises submitting notes that indicate the names of deceased loved ones for church mention in prayers. If you didn’t manage to visit the church on the Orthodox memorial Saturday, pray at home with an open heart.

As on other parental days (on Radonitsa, before the Trinity, before Demetrius Day), the whole family gathers for a memorial dinner for Shrovetide. At home and in the yard, they carefully clean up, a large (usually unpaired) number of dishes is served on the tables. The hosts try to properly meet the souls of their ancestors, who flock on the days of general remembrance. A lit candle is placed on the table in a jar of grain, for showers a little is set aside from all dishes, jelly is poured into a separate glass. The living remember close and distant relatives who have left this world.

At the cemetery, it is favorable to tidy up the grave, replace the flowers with fresh ones, remember something good about your ancestors, thereby showing that you keep the memory of a loved one. Fresh flowers are a symbol of new life and rebirth. You can also light candles on the graves or put a special lamp with fire.

The best time to visit the cemetery is in the morning and before lunch, in the evening it is unfavorable to visit cemeteries. After visiting the cemetery, it is important to cleanse yourself: before entering the house, take off your shoes and wash them, then take a shower, preferably with salt, and wash your hair so that the energy of the dead world does not stay with you. It is advisable to wash the clothes in which they were at the cemetery.

You should not visit the cemetery for pregnant women, as well as for small children - it is better to refrain.

Prepared on the basis of open sources specifically for the project "Women's Sangha"

When commemorations are organized for 40 days after the death, what to say to those present? Arriving, you should light a candle and pray for peace of mind, then you can just stand, be silent, remembering the good moments from the life of the deceased person. The ceremony is held after the relatives of the deceased submit a note "On the repose." If, nevertheless, by coincidence, it is necessary to carry out the ceremony on an earlier date, then on the following weekend after forty it is necessary to give alms. Do not take the wake as a feast. The main thing at the commemoration is to strengthen your strength in order to continue to tirelessly pray for the deceased. Many think when they organize a commemoration for 40 days after the death: “What to say?” ... Still, you can commemorate a deceased person whenever you want.

Orthodox commemoration

The next commemoration should fall on the ninth day after the departure of a loved one. For a 40-day commemoration, or forty, everyone who knew the deceased well should be called.

What are commemorations?

Orthodox commemorations are held on the third, ninth and fortieth day after the death of a person. And it is the memorial meal that is one of the obligatory funeral ceremonies dedicated to the memory of the deceased.

If the day of the wake is a weekday according to the calendar, then it can be moved to the next weekend. Another important point in the question: “How to organize a commemoration for the deceased?” It's a priest's invitation. The presence of the priest at the first commemoration is especially important.

A memorial dinner according to Orthodox customs is held three times. On the day of the funeral - the first commemoration. On such a day, everything has a special significance, which is why the menu in the memorial meal is special. Before you begin to remember, you should read the prayer "Our Father". Then the ninetieth psalm or hold a lithium. Throughout the feast, it is necessary to remember the deceased. This should be especially remembered when commemorating during fasting. Another thing is important here, that the gathered people remember the deceased.

These are the so-called private commemorations (that is, commemorations in honor of a specific person), in contrast to calendar commemorations - memorial meals and accompanying ceremonies dedicated to all the dead. Among the Eastern Slavs, the custom of visiting the grave the day after the funeral (or the third day after death) is called "waking up the dead" or "bringing breakfast to the dead." Such commemoration is arranged immediately after the funeral of the deceased. Throughout the feast, the deceased is remembered. If the day of the commemoration falls on a weekday of other weeks of Great Lent, the commemoration is transferred to Saturday or Sunday.

Wake on the 7th, 40th days and anniversary

Commemoration, which takes place a week after death, for 40 days and on the anniversary, as a rule, takes place in a narrow circle of relatives and relatives of the deceased.

Special days for this, according to Orthodox custom, are 3, 9 and 40 days after death. Close people commemorate the dead on the anniversary, birthday, Angel Day. After the funeral, the family of the deceased gathers his relatives, friends and relatives for a memorial dinner, which is a continuation of the divine service and farewell. Orthodox commemoration after the funeral is short, they are also called mournful. Many signs and ceremonies associated with funerals and commemorations have come down to us from distant paganism.

Anniversary. The Church commemorates the dead on the anniversary of their death. This is the Saturday of Shrove Tuesday, before Forgiveness Sunday. Radonitsa - the commemoration of the dead takes place on Tuesday after St. Thomas Week (resurrection) and serves as a remembrance of the descent of Jesus Christ into hell and His victory over death. If the memory of the deceased happens on a weekday of Great Lent, strictly according to the Charter, the commemoration is transferred to the next Saturday. The dead are not commemorated with wine! At the table, you need to remember the deceased, his good qualities and deeds (hence the name - commemoration).

The main commemoration is considered immediately after the burial of the deceased. Kutya is consecrated during the funeral of the deceased in the church, then placed on the table. Pancakes with honey and jelly, which is drunk after the commemoration by all those who leave, are considered the same obligatory dish. At the end of the wake, thank everyone who came to share your grief and remember the deceased. This is what marks the end of the commemoration. Only the closest relatives and friends are invited to the commemoration for nine and forty days.

If a man passes away, men come to bathe. Only men bury the deceased: according to Muslim traditions, women cannot be present at the burial.

The essence and ritual of commemoration

The funeral dinner itself is a common meal of close relatives and friends of the deceased, held in his house. It is advisable to combine a feast with a visit to the grave of the deceased. Do not forget that the commemoration is not just the need to eat and drink at the same table, but also a ritual filled with deep meaning. But nowadays, when commemorations are often held in cafes, this custom is not always observed. It is possible to hold a commemoration in Great Lent. It is believed that on ordinary days the food at such a table should be simple and without frills.

An age-old tradition at the commemoration is to lay a commemoration table for those who have gathered on this day. Food at an Orthodox commemoration is special, and it is cooked in compliance with certain rules and traditions. They sit next to a place that is customary to leave empty at all Orthodox commemorations as a tribute to the memory of the deceased. When gathering for a wake, it is important to think about your appearance and clothes, since the dress code is no less important than cooking and the nuances of behavior at the memorial table. On the day of the commemoration, in addition to the meal itself, it is customary to visit the grave of the deceased. During the meal, it is customary to behave quietly and listen to the prayers of the mullah. In the past, only men could sit at the memorial table, today women share the meal on an equal footing with them.

After the funeral ceremony, according to Orthodox rites, it is customary to hold a commemoration. With an abundance of alcohol and a variety of dishes, the funeral table is not inferior to the wedding or New Year's table, loud conversations, laughter completely erase the differences. Meanwhile, in order to hold a commemoration specifically in memory of the deceased, and not for the entertainment of the living, some rules must be observed.

This responsible action can be performed by yourself, or you can entrust it to a ritual agent. Let's start with the memorial site.

On the day of the funeral, all those present at the funeral are invited to the memorial meal. An important point is the consecration of this dish in the temple before the start of the commemoration.

Christian tradition provides that the deceased should be commemorated at least three times. The tradition of cooking kutya for a wake, according to many historians, dates back to the times of ancient Greece. The meal usually begins with its eating. The leftovers of food, as a rule, are given to guests with them so that they can remember the deceased with a kind word at home.

If the body of the deceased remains at home before the funeral, after embalming it is customary to wash it with warm water, (if the deceased is a baptized Orthodox) they read "Trisagion" or "Lord, have mercy." If the deceased is a baptized Orthodox, they must wear a pectoral cross on him. A chaplet is placed on the forehead of the deceased - a symbol of the observance of the faith by the deceased Christian and his accomplishment of a Christian life feat.

At home, they read the canon “Following after the departure of the soul from the body” about the deceased Orthodox, and then the Psalter. In the Orthodox Church, there is a pious custom of continuous reading of the Psalter for the deceased until his burial.

During the memorial meal, it is necessary to observe etiquette: do not talk loudly and do not laugh. The remaining food is distributed to guests so that they can remember the deceased at home.

If the deceased is a person baptized in the Orthodox faith, he performs the funeral service before burial. The text of the permissive prayer is placed by the priest in the hands of the deceased. According to church canons, the priest performs the funeral in white robes, as in the rite of baptism of a person.

It used to be customary to dress the deceased in all white, and the funeral clothes were prepared in advance. If a person during his lifetime has prepared for himself a suit or dress for a funeral, it is important to fulfill his desire.

If we are not talking about the all-night prayer and the Liturgy, then there is no point in keeping the body in the temple.

The simplest and most common option is to organize a wake in the house where the deceased lived.

And if you decide to cook a funeral meal on your own, then the Beautiful and Successful website recommends that you take into account the tastes and culinary preferences of the deceased.

The Church does not bury the dead, who during their lifetime consciously renounced the Christian faith, and suicides, unless the suicide was committed in a state of mental disorder. In this case, it is better to pray intensely at home, to do works of mercy for the sake of the suicide, to give alms for him, that is, to do everything that can bring comfort to his soul. If it is not possible to bring the body of the deceased to the temple, and it is also not possible to invite a priest to the house, then an absentee funeral may be performed in the temple. After completing the funeral service in absentia, relatives are given earth (sand) from the funeral table. The body of the deceased is sprinkled crosswise with this earth.

Number of entries: 68

Good evening. Father, tell me, please: our aunt died on February 13, 2013. 40 days fall on March 24th. Is it possible to do them?

Larisa

Larisa, March 24 is Lent. You can always pray for the dead. To celebrate 40 days means, first of all, to pray for the soul of the deceased. It is necessary on this day to submit a registered note of repose for the Liturgy and to pray on this day at the Liturgy, it is also necessary to serve a memorial service in the temple after the service. You can make a memorial on this day, but the meal should be strictly lenten. You can not eat meat, dairy and fish products, eggs. You can make pancakes, but also lean.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Hello, father! Grandmother died on March 4th. And 40 days fall on April 12th. Maybe it needs to be rescheduled for another day? Please tell me. Thank you in advance.

Oksana

Hello Oksana! April 12 falls on Friday, and the peculiarities of the Lenten service do not allow us to commemorate the dead there. Therefore, you will be able to commemorate your grandmother the next day, on Saturday, when the church has just established the commemoration of the dead at the liturgy. I think it will also be more convenient for you to gather for a wake on Saturday.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

Hello! On March 23, my husband will be 40 days old, he is unbaptized, I read a prayer at home, I received a blessing from the priest, but tell me, please, can I go to the cemetery on the 40th day, because there will be a fast? Since it will be Saturday and my children are not in kindergarten and school, when can they distribute candy (after or before 40 days)? Thank you very much, I'm sorry if my letter was a little incorrect.

Veronica

Veronica, as you already know that in the church they don't pray for unbaptized people. Those who are not baptized are not members of the church. No one forbids you to pray for them at home, and of course, you can go to the cemetery whenever you want. It is not customary to go to the cemetery on Sundays, on major church holidays and on Easter. The best day is Saturday. All parental commemorations are performed on Saturday. You can always give alms for the dead, but most of all it must be done up to 40 days.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Good afternoon, I would like to consult. March 20 will be the year since my father passed away. What is the correct date for a funeral dinner? March 20 falls on the first week of Lent. At the church, I ordered Mass for the 20th. Who says that on Forgiveness Sunday is also impossible. Who says later is impossible, only earlier. Please tell me. Thank you in advance.

Michael

Michael, the most important thing is not a memorial dinner, but our prayer for our close relatives. On the day of March 20, according to the church charter, Liturgy (mass) is not allowed. You need to serve a memorial service and attend it yourself. On March 18, Great (strict) Lent begins and, of course, on March 20, they do not arrange a memorial meal. A memorial meal can be made on March 17, at Shrovetide, there is nothing wrong with that. But we must remember that meat products are not supposed to be consumed on Shrovetide, all products, except meat, can be used.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Hello! My grandmother died on February 28, 9 days falls on March 8. Our priest said that the memorial dinner could be held on March 9, because it would be a memorial Saturday. But it will already be 10 days from the date of death. Is it possible?

Vasilenko Larisa

Larisa, perhaps your father is right, but I would clarify his advice a little: so that your conscience is not embarrassed, come to the service on March 8, pray for your grandmother at the lithium, which will be performed at the end of the morning service, and submit a note of repose at the Saturday Liturgy . On Saturday it is also very desirable to be in the service, and after it at home you can also arrange a memorial meal - on Saturday the fast is weakened, and besides, many have a day off, which is convenient.

hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Hello, I have such a question, my grandmother died on 09/02/2012, and now, on 03/02/2013 it will be exactly half a year, as she is gone, is it possible to hold a commemoration for six months, and do they commemorate the deceased when he is not with us for six months?

Diana

Diana, there is no such tradition in the Orthodox Church, these are some "Soviet" innovations and fantasies. You can commemorate the deceased at least every day - both with funeral services and personal prayer - but you don’t need to arrange anything special for six months.

hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Hello, father! Uncle died March 3 (Sunday), funeral March 7. And they decided to organize a memorial 9 days on March 10 (Sunday). But after all, there are no 9 days yet, or is it not forbidden? Tell me, what kind of memorial service to order? What else to do? My uncle was a deeply religious man. Thank you.

Natalia

Hello Natalia! The memorial meal can also be moved to a day convenient for you. The main thing for the dead is our prayer. Order a magpie for the repose, a memorial service and a Psalter for the deceased. And, of course, if the uncle was baptized, a funeral service in the church is necessary.

Priest Vladimir Shlykov

Dear father, my dad died, he falls for 40 days on March 22, what should I do? Maybe it needs to be rescheduled for another day? Please tell me. Thank you in advance.

Alyona

Alena, for the first forty days, the soul especially needs our help, our prayer and the prayer of the church. The 40th day is the most important for the deceased, on this day they determine where to settle the soul, in heaven or hell. It all depends on what kind of life a person has led, and our prayer on this day is simply necessary. On March 22, it is necessary to serve a memorial service in the church and pray on this day, submit a registered note for the Liturgy and attend the service yourself. You don't need to transfer. March 22 is the first week of the Great (strictly) Lent and this day should not be commemorated. The commemoration itself can be postponed to March 24 and you need to remember that this is a strict fast, meat, dairy and fish products and alcohol cannot be put on the table. The commemoration should be strictly Lenten - this will bring great benefits to yourself, and especially to your late dad.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Hello, father! The anniversary of my grandmother's death (year) falls on March 17, Sunday. Tell me, is it possible to arrange a memorial service? Thank you very much.

Elena

Elena, of course, you can make a commemoration on this day, especially since this is the last day before Lent. First of all, it is necessary to celebrate prayerfully in the temple, pray for the Liturgy for the deceased, order a memorial service. A memorial meal can be made, but without meat products. According to the church charter, you can’t eat meat at Shrove Tuesday, you can eat any products except meat.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Hello, dear father, my mother died on February 15 at 8.30 in the morning. Tell me, please, does the 40th day fall on Monday, March 25, or is it still on Tuesday, March 26? Is it possible to make a wake on Sunday, March 24?

Oksana

Oksana, the day of death is considered the first day from which 40 days are counted, which means the 40th day will be March 25th. This is a great strict fast, which means that the table must be strictly fast: without meat, dairy and fish products and without alcohol. The deceased needs prayer, and this is the main thing. On March 25, you must definitely order a memorial service, a custom-made note of repose for the Liturgy, and pray at home yourself. It would be nice to go to the cemetery to the deceased that day. The meal itself can be done on Sunday, March 24, but fasting.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

With respect to you, I ask for an answer: aunt 40 days after her death falls on Sunday, the priest who buried her told us before burial that 40 days cannot be done on Sunday, only on Saturday, it turns out 39 days, and in the temple they told us, that mention 40 days do day by day. How can we be, why is there one faith and two different opinions?

Valentine

Valentine, if the 40th day falls during Great Lent, then the rules regarding this day change and, indeed, the commemoration takes place on Saturday. If not, then day by day.

hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Dear father, my dad died, he falls for 40 days on March 19, and this is the first week of Great Lent, what should I do? Maybe it needs to be rescheduled for another day? Tell. Please. And after the funeral, I lost my engagement, wedding ring, what should I do in this case? Thank you in advance.

Svetlana

On the 40th day itself, order a memorial service in the church, you can also serve a funeral litia in the cemetery, and transfer the commemoration to Sunday (probably, fish dishes can also be prepared for this occasion). Don't worry about the ring, buy a new one and ask the priest to bless it.

Deacon Elijah Kokin

Hello! Tell me, please, grandfather has 40 days on March 18, 2013. When can we organize a wake for the deceased and what can we cook?

Anna

Anna, for the dead, the most important thing is not the table, but prayer. The 40th day is very important for the deceased, on this day a private judgment is made on the soul, it is decided where to place it, in heaven or hell, and therefore the most important thing is our prayer. Be sure to order a memorial service on this day and pray yourself. It would be nice to visit the cemetery on this day. On March 18, it is IMPOSSIBLE to make a memorial meal, as this is the beginning of Great (strict) Lent. A memorial meal can be made on March 17, at Shrove Tuesday. Meat on this day (March 17) is also no longer eaten. All products are allowed, but without meat.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Hello! Please tell me how to hold a commemoration on the anniversary of death? Dad died on 02/28/12, and 02/28/13 will be a working day, and not everyone will probably be able to come, I wanted to spend 02/24/13 - on Sunday. Is that allowed? Thank you.

Vladimir

Yes, Vladimir, you can transfer it, although I must tell you that you should honor the very day of death with a visit to the temple, a memorial service and at least the smallest memorial meal at home in the closest circle.

hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Hello, father. 10 days ago my elder brother died. And on February 22, I planned to celebrate the anniversary date - 55 years since my birth, to which my colleagues and close friends were invited. Help me make the right decision. Is it worth arranging a holiday up to 40 days after the death of a brother, or is it better to apologize to those invited and cancel the evening? Thank you.

Hope

Nadezhda, after death, the first 40 days the soul goes through air ordeals, and she needs an intense prayer for her. The souls of the deceased during the ordeal are waiting for help from the church and from loved ones. Help is our prayer, some good deeds, charity. Souls cannot pray for themselves. The 40th day is the most important - it is determined where to settle the soul - in heaven or hell. And therefore, of course, there can be no talk of any holidays.

Hieromonk Viktorin (Aseev)

Is it possible to make a commemoration for six months at 14.00?

Irina

You can, Irina, but according to the Orthodox tradition, they don’t arrange a commemoration in half a year - this is an innovation.

hegumen Nikon (Golovko)

Anniversary of father's death. I submitted an ORDER to the Temple of the Icon of the Mother of God “The Life-Giving Spring” in Bibirevo, which will be served in the altar, since the memorial service is not held there on Wednesday. Do I need to order a memorial service in some other church?