Inner harmony is a blessing for a person. Harmonious person

First, let's define the concept "harmony".
According to dictionaries, Harmony- This:
1. (Greek harmonia - connection, harmony, proportionality) The proportionality of parts, the merging of various components of an object into a single limited whole.
In other Greek. philosophy is the organization of the cosmos, opposing chaos.
In the history of aesthetics was seen as beings. characteristic of beauty.
2. Expressive means of music associated with the combination of tones into consonances, and the succession of consonances in terms of mode. Chords are of paramount importance in Harmony: their modal, harmonic functions, as well as the patterns of voice leading, are manifested in the change of chords. Harmony largely depends on the melody and at the same time enriches and deepens its expressiveness.

What is meant by saying about a person: “He is a harmoniously developed personality”? There is a formula: it is the perfect combination of physical, mental development and (this is an indispensable condition!) never violated, that is, moral and ethical principles firmly mastered by a person. Try offhand to name a dozen such people from our environment. How much did it turn out? I don't have a single name, do you? I assume the same. In extreme cases, out of a hundred acquaintances - one or two. And why? Because it's harmonious developed person is a standard, a dream to which we are only striving.

The path to achieving this goal is difficult and long. Buddhists say that it takes a person several lives. Reincarnating, each time a person rises to a higher level. Not every person, of course, but only the one whose life is dedicated to working on oneself.

And what about us non-Buddhists? How to achieve harmony? How to gain peace of mind and the ability to take a philosophical attitude to everything that happens and, without falling into a panic, accept the blows of fate? In what thirtieth kingdom is hidden that wisdom that will allow you to learn not to slander, not to envy? Where are love for people, mercy, openness and kindness hidden?

It turns out that humanity has been working on these issues for a long time, and the rules for achieving harmony are not hidden behind seven locks. Their wording is simple and clear:

A person should not stop on the path of his life, and for this he must engage in self-development. Moreover, the spiritual is not placed above the physical. A harmonious personality has a healthy body, trains the brain: reads good (!) books, uses spiritual practices, and engages in hobbies.

Idleness is completely expelled from life. Lying on the couch and looking at the TV, it is impossible to become a harmonious personality. Labor is the foundation. No one argues with this statement, but it is probably worth recalling that one should not overstrain at work. Choose golden mean and continue to work on ourselves, alternating mental activity with physical work, cooking with sawing (knitting, forging, making dolls, etc.).

Don't fuss! Never and nowhere! Problems were, are and will be. You need to solve them as they come. By the way, not all life's difficulties are classified as problems. Let's remember this and let's not wind ourselves up over trifles. Ability to remain calm in any situation good mood – hallmark harmonious personality. Remember the famous phrase of Kozma Prutkov? Go to the root! We find the root cause and eliminate the consequences.

Need an example? Please. Flowing from the ceiling hot water and pours your brand new repair. There are two options for behavior. First - you can run, scream, scold neighbors, plumbers, call your husband, remove your favorite rug from the floor, cover the TV with film, wipe and pour out water. This is the elimination of the consequences, so you can not cope with the flow of water. But, fortunately, there is a second option - we are looking for a root, that is, we block the water. Silently, because the outburst of emotions never (!) leads to the elimination of the problem. Shut off the water? And now you can do wet furniture. And it's better to do it, smiling and turning on the music that pleases you. Afraid to seem insane - listen through headphones. And you won’t hear unnecessary negativity, and eliminate the consequences of the flood faster.

It is incredibly difficult to learn not to look back at the past. Living in the here and now is a task that simply needs to be solved. Only people who are very “advanced” in spiritual practices can enjoy every moment of life. The rest learn this most difficult art.

This does not mean that the past should be erased from memory. You need to stop endlessly sorting out your own and other people's mistakes. The past, of course, influences our present life. But it is only a lesson, not a guide to action. We made conclusions and with a pure heart we live on.

The same rule applies to future plans. How often can you hear from people: “Let's get married, then ... I'll finish the institute ... Let's build a house and ...” An erroneous action - that's what the habit of postponing life is called in psychology.

And now let's remember Leo Tolstoy, his famous diary and the phrase on the first page: "Not a day without good deeds." Let's rephrase a little, the essence of this will not suffer. Now the phrase sounds like this: “Not a day without useful deeds". What? Yes, for which there is enough time and money. In any home there is a huge amount of work - an unnailed shelf, a creaking door, unironed linen, unsorted cabinets ... And there, you see, it's time for a general cleaning. What about family, friends and neighbors? They also need attention. Eat personal plots, playgrounds, where craftsmen always find something to fix. If you want to do something useful, you will find it.

Learn to listen to people. Not everyone has mastered this art. We listen, but do not hear: we do not delve into, we interrupt and insert our reasoning into someone else's monologue. The art of listening is a talent, and it must be constantly developed.

Learn to hear yourself. Who, except us, can determine the level of our inner comfort? We can and must, above all, live in harmony with the world and with ourselves. Having dealt with the inner world, you can “bring the light of love” to other people. People can forgive, forget, accept, or they can do exactly the opposite, adding a NOT particle to each verb. The opinion of people, of course, is important, but if you cannot forgive yourself for meanness, then what difference does it make to you what others think about this?

We draw conclusions. To become a harmonious personality, you need to set yourself up for positive emotions find inner peace and constantly work on yourself. Just? Of course not. But it is quite achievable.

Harmonious person- one of the oldest ideas of mankind. Many will call it banal. But how often do we meet in life with people who live in harmony with themselves and the world around them? How often do we see a person whose professional skills are commensurate with personal and human qualities; attractive and dignified appearance - the ability to be a pleasant and interesting conversationalist; and social competence to physical and mental health? How vital and useful is the image of a harmonious person today for each of us?

It may seem that such a number of requirements for one person is a utopia, a call for a mythical, unattainable perfection in life. Too much work and just a burden. But only as long as we consider them as presented to a person from the outside by society or others. But harmony is agreement, consonance. In a person, it is the balance and correspondence of his abilities, goals and aspirations, opportunities and desires, feelings and consciousness to each other. The body, emotions, mind, soul and spirit of a harmonious person are one. He is not torn apart by internal contradictions. He gained a confident balance and stability - within himself and without.

There is always some kind of balance in a person. But it can be healthy, beautiful, confident, joyful. Or maybe - shaky, miserable, ugly. When professional and social development a person is not balanced by an individual look, own position understanding, confidence. When the hopes placed on personal life overshadow the whole world. When inflated pride screams and torments a person. And even being a socially significant and prominent figure, he often barely crawls through life, literally forcing himself to live - by an effort of will, and often by external incentives - duties, responsibility to others.

It seems that the means of implementation do not work, but only because they are not the means. A skewed consciousness is a bad helper to a person. “The wind that always blows in one direction is bad” (R. Heinlein). Professional, worthy person successful personality are not synonyms for a happy person. A detrimental balance harms a person, helping in particulars, but destroying the integrity of existence and self-perception of oneself as capable, interesting, needed, loved, happy.

You can entangle yourself hand and foot with a network of many reasonings, opinions, rules, disputes and drown in this noisy discord. While “knowledge of certain principles easily compensates for ignorance of certain facts” (K. Helvetius). Can be thrown into execution an infinite number necessary, good and useful, but not to do the main thing.

We learn to achieve small specific goals, but we don’t get around to combining these private successes and achievements into a stable and stable reality, worthy of a deep intuitive feeling of ourselves, the world and life as a beautiful and amazing miracle, which are especially strong in childhood.

Is it so naive and groundless the childish confidence of each of us in our exclusivity, significance, value? Maybe it is not an illusion - the feeling is correct, but it requires proper application and implementation? “Nature has created us for something more” (Cicero). And everyone really feels that he is capable of more, worthy of the best that the world shallow and does not correspond to its scale.

But the true resolution of this contradiction - in real, healthy growing up - which does not consist in refusing the childish feeling of happiness and sticking a label of naivety on it, but in turning it into reality, clothe a vague feeling and foreboding in the flesh and blood of a bright, living, saturated reality.

small a shift in emphasis in the system of influence-expectations of a person can change his life beyond recognition! If he perceives intuitive confidence in his own abilities not as a justification for his requests, but as a support and starting point for activity. Not “the world is shallow for me great”, not “I stand out above it”, but “I am able to transform my near world, space and time according to my will and my choice”. Not only that, a person always does this! It always works, even if it choice- inaction, always participates, even remaining indifferent.

Human not free to choose - should he act? He is only free to choose what his participation will be. To trudge through life or enjoy it. To be at enmity with neighbors or to cooperate. Complain or create. “I am able to convey myself to others so that they understand and appreciate me. I am able to select and find interesting and valuable people for myself and enlist their respect. Able to become happy, and not pretend to be.

For this, the most important thing is desire. But the right methods of working on yourself and your life are also important. A lot of problems on which attention is fixed, and “tips” for solving them, not only do not help a person, but even more fetter him. Social standards, without which, it seems, access to the desired is closed, upon gaining them, they often reveal a terrible reality: what is truly desired has not come one iota closer!

Negative advice, installations from the series “not to be a loser” do not work, because, in fact, they assert emptiness. “Positive”, but overly generalized, are also of little help - “be confident”, “be happy”. All this needs to be experienced, felt, and therefore - learned, acquiring a certain skill. It can't be done with the force of will alone. decision.

Confidence and happiness are achieved through overcoming one's own insufficiency, which everyone has - this or that. And only in this way, on this path, every day a person begins to feel more and more free from the power of his own weaknesses. More and more happy. The road to oneself and self-knowledge is the most rewarding work for a person. From determining what is most important for oneself to finding it.

A healthy personality needs a skeleton of its own values, beliefs that are significant enough for itself. To rely on them. These are their own, internal goals and values ​​that can breathe life into generally accepted standards or reduce their significance for specific person to no. And the achievement of such goals will not bring true satisfaction to a person, will not become an incentive for further development, and can only disappoint! A person also needs the power of knowledge and practical skills - this is the ability of his personality to move, to act. Will gives him energy and purposefulness. The mind guides in the best way. Emotions are the breath and pulse of his life, the ability to feel and convey living experiences to the outside.

Everyone has their own way to a harmonious self: what is easy and natural for one person, like breathing, for another is an unsolvable (yet) problem. But it must be remembered that man is a single and complex whole. And the development of all his abilities, skills, functions is beneficial only when balanced. When some of its sides do not absorb and displace others.

• What is harmony?
• Harmony in our life

What is harmony?

Regularly and everywhere using certain words and terms, we often do not even think about their meaning. Life modern man it is difficult to call it harmonious, since everyday fuss and the burden of many problems prevent us from realizing the beauty and integrity of the world around us, and this is the essence of the concept of harmony.

Consider the meaning of the word "harmony" in more detail. In antiquity, the concept of "harmony" was studied by philosophers and thinkers, one of whom was Pythagoras. He put forward the idea of ​​the harmony of the spheres, which formed the basis of idealism and exists to this day in new philosophy Shaftesbury, Kepler, Giordano Bruno, Leibniz in an altered form.

Harmony was considered as the main feature of being as a whole, as the orderliness of the Universe, opposing itself to chaos. So if you follow the worldview of the Greeks of the ancient period, together with the terms "symmetry", "order" and "measure" harmony is the basis of beauty.

Over the centuries, the meaning of the word harmony has changed, new adjustments have been made to it, its connection with the beautiful has been interpreted in different ways. Already in the aesthetics of the Renaissance, harmony began to be considered not only the main feature, but also an inexhaustible source for creativity.

Modern theorists describe harmony as a unity of sometimes opposite, contradictory elements or entities.

Harmony in our life

What is the secret of a harmonious person?

Let's try to move from theory to practice and understand how much harmony means in the life of a modern man or woman and where to look for it. Why do people with inner harmony more often achieve success in life, find contact with others faster?

Harmonization of personality takes place in stages. It takes years to form a harmonious, balanced personality of a person, and as a result, not everyone comprehends the essence of harmony, even having achieved impressive results in the knowledge of this state. Harmony is internal and external.

Find out, how to achieve harmony right now using information from the free program of Alexei Tolkachev - " Life at full power».

Inner harmony manifests itself in a person when he clearly realizes what he wants in his soul. If you think about inner world harmonious person, then he is not disturbed by internal disagreements and contradictions, he lives and acts according to his internal convictions. Harmonious is the one whose emotional, spiritual, intellectual and physical components are in perfect balance and do not contradict each other. The secret of the man who revealed his inner harmony simple, he does not allow himself to be carried away by bad thoughts, and drives away worries and sorrows, i.e. he is just happy, accepting himself for who he is. This attitude allows him to achieve success and prosperity.

One way or another, every person dreams of success in life. In any society, a person's success is judged by three main criteria:

• Does the person consider themselves successful?
• who are his friends?
• What goals did he achieve in life?

Harmonious relationships of people in society

"To be in harmony with others, you must be in harmony with yourself." — Martin Gray

Harmonious life gives a feeling of satisfaction from the fact that a person is the creator of his own destiny, leads a full life full of pleasant events. The first rule for achieving harmonious relationships with other people is to treat them the way you want them to treat you. Not everyone can be independent of the opinions of others, confident in their own abilities, motivate themselves with a clearly set goal and at the same time have strict self-control, but this approach helps to achieve success through harmony with oneself and the people around.

The understanding of harmony in men and women occurs in different ways. Both men and women sometimes do things that are contrary to their inner beliefs, which creates an internal imbalance. In search of a solution that would smooth out this imbalance or get rid of it altogether, many resort to spiritual practices or seek harmony in the family, surrounding themselves with loved ones, loving people. In the relationship between a man and a woman, harmony is also achieved due to their differences, both internal and external.

The main signs of a harmonious woman:

1. The ability to create a sense of order around oneself, to surround loved ones with care and love.
2. A combination of inner and outer beauty.
3. Balance in relationships with parents and employees at work.
4. Ability to be flexible and adapt to the situation.
5. The ability to create and build.
6. Purity and chastity.

The main signs of a harmonious man:

1. Confidence in yourself and your actions.
2. Knowing how to be sincere and grateful.
3. The manifestation of generosity and at the same time restraint in relations with loved ones.
4. Respect for others, their tastes and preferences.
5. Perseverance and firmness of character.
6. The ability to be patient and sometimes even sensitive towards a child, wife.
7. Stress resistance.

“Harmony is ... the ratio of qualitative differences and, moreover, the totality of such differences, as it finds its basis in the essence of the thing itself.” -G.W.F. Hegel

Harmony cannot be achieved in one day, it is internal state arises in a person's life due to the ability to live for today, love yourself and be honest with yourself and others. Each person has his own way of finding harmony, which is no less important and valuable than the goal itself - to achieve internal balance in relationships with oneself and the outside world.

How to achieve harmony in yourself and in relationships with people?

Here, perhaps, there is no single answer. Everyone seeks inner harmony by their own means and methods. You can engage in self-development, create, take risky actions or just live for today.

The main thing in all these actions is that the feeling of happiness, freedom, peace fills a person to the brim and helps him move through life easily and energetically. Success and self-sufficiency are closely related to the extent to which a person has managed to fill his life with harmony and order.

Virginia Satir's typology of survival states:

Outcome personal growth- congruent type. See. Envy...

So, we have listed the "habits" of all four incongruent types of adaptability to life.

Jester - builds an eternal fool out of himself, playing "Banana Bunch" all his life. The aggressor - yells and screams, based on the principle "let them be afraid of me." Dead computer - pretends that he is a calculating machine and his heart does not hurt. Dobrenky appeases everyone so that they are left behind.

One has a creative streak and an unsinkable sense of humor. The second has a head on his shoulders. The third one has high quality brains in this head. The fourth one has sympathy for Mother Teresa.

But a congruent, healthy person has the main thing - happiness.

Let's first see what qualities Virginia Satir endows with her "Ideal Husband", and then find out the "cooking recipe" from the initial neurotic raw material - a healthy personality ...

Qualities of a congruent person according to Virginia Satir

His words: always correspond to the feelings that he experiences. But he expresses his feelings well.

(If you spit in his face, the congruent says: “I am very upset and even offended by your behavior. What is the matter with you?” But he does not say: “You are a boor and a bastard, like your whole family”)

His body and posture: The muscles of his face are relaxed, and his body is relaxed. A congruent person is held straight, loose and calm. All muscles are involved in facial expressions. Pose "open".

His behavior: The behavior of the congruent is based on the authenticity of the feelings he experiences. He loves and laughs - sincerely.

Therefore, he will never get too long in the company where he will need to pretend to be cheerful and friendly, when he wants to actually deliver Chatsky's monologue, spit in everyone's face and then slam the door.

It makes people: a sense of trust (he immediately wants to trust and trust), a sense of security, peace and confidence - even if the situation is nowhere more difficult ...

He expects: A congruent person does not “expect” anything from himself, he is smart and experienced in a good way, and therefore he is ready for any consequences of communication ... Even with a wild tiger.

The congruent is open to everything new, treats the world with love and trust, but at the same time he can be trusted to lead the children's hike with backpacks and tents, because he knows which grass is poisonous and which path is dangerous. And how to tell children about this weightily, but in such a way that not a single ear comes off in the process of education ...

His resource: everything that he took out of his previous neurotic state (intelligence, love, humor or leadership acumen) plus ...

Plus - freedom of choice.

And resulting from this luxury:

readiness to communicate with everyone,

openness to change.

Well, how does Virginia Satir propose to achieve all this?

Virginia Satir offers her personal growth therapy(Read. Be interested. Her works and the works of her followers).

And at the heart of this personal growth therapy by Virginia Satir are several basic provisions. We will get to know them now.

I suggest that everyone print them for themselves as a separate list and work through them for a year. And then we'll see if any of us have become even a little more congruent...

So. Basic provisions of personal growth of Virginia Satir:

Change is possible.

Even when external change is almost impossible or difficult, internal change is possible.

Each of us has rich inner resources for positive change.

We always have a choice - how to react. No need to allow yourself to be drawn into the situation, no matter how difficult and “no option” it may seem.

Whatever condition you are in - focus on HEALTH and OPPORTUNITY instead of PATHOLOGY.

Hope is not an empty word. Hope is the main ingredient of Change and Healing.

The main goal of life in general and therapy in particular is to teach a person to make his own choice.

People are basically good.

What all people need is to find their Inner Treasure.

The very First Step on the path to any Change is to accept your parents as just Humans and get to know them again.

All human processes are universal. All cultural differences are small things.

IN different societies, classes, cultures and circumstances, the same thing happens.

Well, to work, comrades?