The type of a man is a sissy, the opinion of psychologists. "Mama's boy" in a relationship - a psychological portrait. Overprotective mother

Sissy- this is a man who, physically growing up, remains a little boy in his soul. His emotional connection with his mother is unlimited, as a rule, she replaces the whole world for such a man. No other woman has a place in the life of a "mother's son."

The name and biography details of the participants in this story have been changed, and the story itself took place many years ago.

One day a woman called me, her child needed urgent help. It turned out that the "child" is 27 years old, and his problem is the loss of erection.

The mother herself brought her son. She seemed very big - tall, full, loud-voiced, there were a lot of her, and her son next to her looked very small, thin, hunched over, like an old man. He shifted at the door, looking at the floor.

Mom quickly told her son "where to go and what to do." Soon the guy was already sitting in a chair, and his mother hung over him.

My name is Angelina Vasilievna. And this is my son, Vadik. Well, come on, tell the psychologist what is happening to you, - said my mother.

I asked:

Angelina Vasilievna, do you prefer family therapy? Then make yourself comfortable, your role as a mother is really very important.

Here's another, are you going to "treat" me? I am absolutely healthy! All problems in Vadik! You treat him, and I will listen, my son has no secrets from me.

I believe that since you only agree to the role of an observer, therapy should be individual, while your son can tell you everything that will happen here if he sees fit to do so.

Barely audible, the son said to his mother: "Go," and only after that she left.

I listened to Vadik's story, it was very sad story. After the birth of her son, the mother broke up with his father, tried several times to build relationships with men, each time to no avail, and finally announced to her son: "You are my the only man there will never be another in my life. No one else deserves my attention."

When Vadik grew up a little, his mother gave him to kindergarten, but, there he was constantly sick, one cold followed another. Mom made a decision: "The child should stay at home." She parted with the profession of a doctor, began to do business, things quickly "went uphill." Angelina Vasilievna was indeed a smart, active, enterprising woman. Vadik was always present on my mother's trips: by car, on an airplane, on trains. Mom was a "very good mom", she always took her son with her.

When Vadik became a schoolboy, the situation with illnesses repeated, his mother transferred him to individual training. Vadik even graduated from two universities, every day his mother took him to classes, and then took him home.

"What friends, what girls - she said. - Well, who can understand and love you like a mother."

Vadik had an excellent library, a home cinema, and his mother fulfilled all his wishes.

Vadik remembers how strong sexual arousal he experienced when his mother undressed in front of him, gave her son a massage, bathed him in the bath. He slowed down his desires, clearly saying to himself: "It's impossible!". Over the years, Vadik learned to get sexual release from masturbation. Once my mother suggested: "Let's invite you a prostitute," he agreed. The girl came to their house, but the guy did not have an erection. This happened several times. Vadik decided to masturbate, as before, but here the erection disappeared completely. Aggression on his mother, on her total control and disrespect for his personality, everything that the guy had suppressed for so long, suddenly manifested itself in his uncontrollable outbursts of anger. Vadik, choking with rage, could throw any object at his mother, for example, a book, shout "not in his own voice", using profanity, beat the dishes. Naturally, the mother did not like this behavior of her son, and she decided to turn to a psychologist.

Vadik turned out to be a very interesting young man, erudite, subtle, sensitive. As we communicated, he opened up more and more, it seemed that with each meeting he becomes taller and more courageous.

In the process of therapy, the young man began to call himself Vadim, and not Vadik. He learned to understand and speak own desires and feelings, and achieved significant success in this. Vadim began to come to consultations on his own, taking the subway. He even met a girl.

It seemed that the separation from my mother was very close ...

But one day Vadim called me, his voice broke with excitement: "My mother's blood pressure jumped, ambulance took her to the hospital. Mom found out that I had a girlfriend, this news scared her very much. Mom is afraid of losing me. I understand that I am a toy in my mother's hands, but I am also afraid of losing her. I choose to leave everything the same."

I never saw Vadim again, I don't know how his life turned out. Working with a psychologist was like a prisoner trying to escape from prison. This attempt was unsuccessful...

Men are three types: "Macho", "Chmo" and "Mom, what."

life observations

The best marriage is when a father's son marries his mother's daughter.

But often the father's daughter marries the mother's son.

Guthard Waber

First the wedding night mother's son. Mutters: - First marriage

night! The wedding night ... Mom, maybe I didn’t go to Lena in vain?

Sissy as a quality of personality - a tendency psychologically to never separate from his mother, not to take place in his independence; show excessive affection for his mother, have too close relations with her and disproportionate contacts.

A woman complains to her friends: - My husband is absolutely impossible. He only talks about his mom all the time. "But mom doesn't do that." "But my mother would have seen it." "Mom wouldn't like it." And I have him at all on tenth place. - It is necessary that he pays attention to you as a woman, then he will forget about his mother and forget. He will come in the evening, and you will meet him in some sexy outfit. In short, the husband comes in the evening, his wife meets him in a black bra, black stockings, black gloves on her hands. - God ... you are all in black - something with your mother ?!

The phenomenon of "sissy" usually owes its appearance to the nursery.

Mama's son is the secret of female "pedagogical" skill.

Mommy's sons appear where there is no dad, where dad does not take care of his son, or where there is no authoritative dad. It is the father who has the prerogative in the upbringing of his son. Only a father can teach a boy to show courage, to overcome difficulties, to be persistent in trials. A smart mother understands that a real man must be brought up in strictness and exactingness towards himself, otherwise a weak-willed, spineless, indecisive, unhappy mattress, a rag whose name is a sissy will grow up.

His destiny is the eternal search for maternal protection. His mother stands behind him with a stone wall, he is married to her, he is “married” to her, he elevated her to the family throne, she is a heroine and main woman in his life.

Good obedient Jewish son
Married and lay down to the young under the side.
But to the chagrin of her and him
There was a bummer - God forbid anyone!
The wife of the young man took him to the doctor,
I whispered with the doctor about these things.
The doctor turned with a question to his son,
Asking which side he lay on.
- On the left, - answered the son, surprised,
Not seeing the events hidden connection.
But the sexologist said meanwhile:
- Lie down on the right, and there will be no problems.
The son was indignant: - Come on, you doctors!
To the right!? Back to my dear mother!?

A man, no one argues, should honor his mother. Mother is sacred. Mother is his duty, but in this veneration one should not go to extremes, crazy idealizations and excesses. A sissy is an extreme, but a disrespectful, disrespectful attitude towards a mother, a disdainful attitude towards her advice is another extreme.

Duty to parents, in particular to the mother, is not a simple duty. This is a debt to God! It is in this plane that you need to build relationships with your father and mother. A man who shows gratitude and nobility in relations with his mother, no one will ever dare to call a sissy.

In a house where children respect and love their parents, God lives.

Proper male upbringing guarantees against raising a sissy. A man teaches his son: - It is important not how many times you fall, but how many times you get up. A man has a built-in understanding that a boy needs skills to overcome life's obstacles. Like a tumbler, he, no matter how much life bends him, must return with the same force to his original joyful, balanced state.

The mother may not understand these tricks of the science of life and begins to spoil her son, that is, it makes it easier for him to test the tests set by his father. With such pity, she harms the child and destroys his destiny. The female nature cannot calmly watch how the son is worried about the fulfillment of the task entrusted by the father. Therefore, the mother should stay away from raising her son. To love and take care of him - please, but to raise a son is the responsibility of the father. Giving the son the opportunity to learn life lessons, the father thereby gives his mind the opportunity to mature and “grow muscles”.

There is an anecdote: Mother decided to keep her son strict from now on. - Where are you going? she asks. - Wherever I want. - When will you be back? - When you want. - All right, just look, not a minute later.

Usually sissies live up to forty years under the "wing" of their mothers. Firstly, they like it: they don’t need to worry about everyday life, take responsibility for their lives, mom will always cook delicious treats, and secondly, they can’t leave mom alone.

Often, sissies are generated by maternal commercialism. If a mother is not satisfied with her personal life, especially if she lives alone, she raises her son for herself, and not for another woman. To create her own cult, she inspires her son that all women except her are bitches and whores, so the highest happiness for him is to hold on to mommy's hand. In a word: - Listen to your mother - you will live!

Such a mother is an order of magnitude more dangerous than the most insidious mistress. Mistresses are transient and leaving, and the mother of a sissy does not intend to “let go” of him ever. She is directly interested in filial maternal dependence. How can one give up such an ideal to another woman?

Mama's son: - Mom, how can I marry her ?! She is an atheist and does not believe in the existence of Hell!?! “Don’t worry, son, boldly marry, and in Hell I will be able to make her believe ...

Usually, such mothers form a sense of guilt in their sons, appeal to his sense of duty, responsibility and manipulate. And all this is done in the name of one thing - to bind even more strongly to oneself. And the son cannot say: - No!, He does not have enough mental strength to refuse. After all, mom will be offended! And she has a heart condition. And generally speaking!

Mom, I'll be home late today. - Son, where are you going? - I'm going to the cinema with my girlfriend today. - Certainly go. I hope my heart doesn't break tonight... - What is it, Mom? - Yes, yesterday, something hurt so much before going to bed. - Well, you, mom, if anything, call.

And be sure to call. In the middle of a date. And the son will leave the girl and run to save his mother from an imaginary, feigned heart attack.

Sons can sometimes be understood. Andrei Voznesensky has a poem, in just three lines:

Our mothers grow old, their children leave them.

You are my child, mother

My abandoned child...

Here, as they say, neither add nor subtract.

Psychologist Lilia Malakhova writes: “The husband will never dare to take your side, because more than anything in the world he is afraid of“ offending his mother ”. It is easier for him to make a deal with his conscience than to go into conflict with his mother. And you will not dare to oppose such an attitude, because then the mother and husband, united, will gnaw at you together. Women who have gone through such a marriage remember it as one of the most terrible events in their lives. Of course, such unions for the most part break up even if for the sake of great love the wife will put up with the role of a stool: she will stand where her mother-in-law puts her, and do what the mother-in-law allows.

Sometimes a sissy is able to buck and quarrel with his mother, and then he will throw himself on your shoulder to complain about the tyranny of the parent. The wife may have the illusion that her husband has finally seen the light and understood all the caricature of his relationship with his mother, but, alas, some time will pass, and the mother, having boiled away, will return the naughty child under her skirt in two words. And the husband, with redoubled joy, will rush to serve his beloved mother.

- Bon appetit, son! Eat for health! - Thanks, mom! - After you eat, put the dishes in the sink, I'll wash them later. And now I need to go to Aunt Nadia on business. Look at your watch and remember that you are the principal of the school! Teachers and students are waiting for you! - Mom, I ate ... and pooped. - Well done! My God! Yurochka! Did you look at the clock? You're already late! Run quickly!… What a child…

Petr Kovalev 2018

A sissy whose psychology, so dependent on his mother, is not uncommon in modern world. The reasons may be different - a late child, who was surrounded by excessive custody from childhood, after a divorce from her husband, the woman devoted herself to her son, paying too much attention to him. Let's take a look at the features of this type representatives of the stronger sex.

sissy signs

• A man overly idealizes his mother, constantly cites her words and actions as an example;
• He does not make a single decision without consulting his mother, who knows about his every action;
• He is constantly in touch with his mother, calls several times a day and conversations usually last long;
• A man hurries to fulfill any requirement of his mother instantly at any time of the day;
• In the event of a conflict between wife and mother, will take the side of the mother, even if she is not right;
• Even if the husband and wife live separately from their mother, she will always be invisibly present in their lives;
• A man does not do or say anything that his mother might not like.

Mommy's son what to do?

If it is not acceptable for a woman that she is not the leader in the family, perhaps this the best option husband. If a man is dear, and a decision is made to connect life with him, you need to follow certain rules in the psychology of a sissy:

• It is recommended to adopt the behavior of the mother-in-law, try to match her image;
• It is necessary to minimize the interference of the husband's mother in family life. Try to solve all problems and questions before the man tells his mother about them. The best option- move to another city;
• Even if his mother is wrong, you should not criticize her, otherwise the relationship with your chosen one will be ruined;
• It is very effective to make friends with the mother-in-law, adapt to her taste, take her son’s favorite recipes from her, praise him, and in no case criticize her husband;
• Do not try to take the main place in the life of your spouse. This place is occupied by his mother, and it is unlikely that it will be possible to press her out, most likely, there will be a conflict on this basis.

Mommy's son psychology and positive aspects

Still worth noting positive sides character of such representatives of the stronger sex. Sissy's psychology and features of which are almost ideal for women who prefer to be leaders. Such a husband will look after the children in strict accordance with the instructions of his wife. Rarely enter into disputes with his wife, unless of course the reason for the dispute does not run counter to the opinion of the mother-in-law.
But the wife should not indulge herself with ambitious dreams - according to their psychology, sissies very rarely achieve fame and wealth. But of course you shouldn't tell his mother about it.

Deep down, every woman wants a strong man next to her, who will become that very reliable shoulder and support.

It would seem that here he is: sensitive, economic, kind ... Moreover, he solves all the troubles with one call. Only this call is to mom ...

After the wedding, it suddenly turns out that you did not get married, but adopted the child of your mother-in-law.

How to live with a sissy? Does such a relationship have a chance? Is it possible to be happy with such a man? Let's try to figure it out.

Let's be honest: strong men How Amur tigers- an endangered species.

And where can truly masculine qualities come from, if a huge number of children are brought up by "same-sex couples" - mothers and grandmothers, and the role of the father is minimized.

But scientists have long proved that if the father is not involved in raising his son, the boy grows up with a huge number of internal problems and complexes.

What we have as a result: mother is an undeniable authority, son (he is your husband) is in complete submission to her, you are somewhere in the background.

Who is a sissy?

Psychology does not know such a term as "sissy", it was invented by women to show the total dependence of the son on the mother.

Yes, yes, it happens that the son is two meters tall, and gray hair breaks through his temples, but he will not take a step without the approval of his mother.

How else, if he was taught from childhood to be an “obedient and good boy”? Meet: an adult boy, 31 years old, loves his mother very much.

A sissy is not a diagnosis or a disease. This is an adult who does not have his own opinion and lives by someone else's rules.

He is guided by a sense of duty and gratitude to the woman who gave birth to and raised him. If you married a sissy, a kind of love triangle is forming in your family!

After all, his mother will not withdraw herself and will not resign. It's amazing how she even let you out of her sight and let her take her blood?

Mother's sons are of two types.

1. Absolute. He does not control the situation and does not make any independent decisions. Never! This is an axiom.

What pants to wear, what circle to go to and what girls to meet - his mother decided for him all his life.

Such a child grows into an infantile and notorious man. When the question of creating a family arises, the dandelion man will choose his wife with the consent of his mother.

2. Partial. In such men, the Oedipus complex works 100%! In their chosen one, they are looking for the features of the mother - external resemblance, character, household skills.

Such men are afraid of change, and have found a simple way out of the situation: a wife comes to replace the mother.

So do not be surprised if you get not a macho, as it seemed at first, but just a grown-up child.

Is it possible to recognize a sissy when you meet?

This is a task with an asterisk, because outwardly such men are no different from hundreds of others.

This is not necessarily a nerd in glasses and a ridiculous tie with reindeer, presented by his mother on New Year. There are no markings “the territory is protected by mother” either.

Alarming signs can be noticed if you communicate more closely with your mother's beloved boy.

Housing. As a rule, such men, even having matured, continue to live with their parents.

They do not strive for ostentatious independence, and will not leave their home, where it smells like mom's pies, to a hostel with bedbugs, just to live separately.

They are quite satisfied with the fact that after studying or labor day Mom always greets with a plate of borscht, all things are washed and ironed, and if something goes wrong in life, they will always take a liking and regret it.

Mom's mention. Such subjects answer questions about the family willingly and verbosely.

Yes, many men love and respect their mother, but not everyone depends on her opinion. If your interlocutor, as they say, “found free ears” and selflessly broadcasts about how great his mother cooks, and what kind of a good relationship is an alarm.

Job. It is difficult to call such men careerists. Mom will make sure that her son does not overwork.

Perhaps even a suitable position will suit him. During the conversation, he quotes his mother's words, her opinion is considered authoritative for him, other experts nervously smoke on the sidelines;

Plans. Your relationship with your mother always comes first. If he cancels the meeting under the pretext that his mother is unwell or rushes on her first call, this should alert.

If your potential mother-in-law is not a seriously ill person, then she is simply manipulating her son's feelings!

Themes. Such men can keep up the conversation even on women's topics. No wonder, because at home they regularly listen to complaints about poor health and prices in the market.

If your interlocutor is well versed in the ups and downs of the Turkish series and knows the types of depilation, he is either comprehensively developed, or his mother kindly enlightened him.

An interesting fact is that the character of a sissy is not always angelic. Psychologists explain this by the fact that a person is constantly under pressure.

Constant servility, unwillingness to upset mommy, suppression own feelings and emotions is stress.

It's like playing in a minefield: step into dangerous territory and an explosion will follow. Conflict for such a person is an opportunity to relieve tension.

Is it possible to build a family with a sissy?

The boy becomes dependent on his mother if she is an authority. This most often occurs in single-parent families or in couples in which the father constantly agrees with his wife.

In a child, individuality is suppressed, they are not given the opportunity to make decisions. Over time, the boy realizes that it is easier to live this way.

Why fuss and look for housing, because there is a mother who will not kick you out of the house! Whom I want to become? - Yes, where my mother says, I will do there. Sounds funny, but this is the reality of life.

The boy becomes inactive and helpless. Even if mom is gone at some point, he will look for a replacement for her.

He is simply not used to solving his problems on his own.

This does not mean that marriage with such a person will be unhappy. Sissy - perfect option for women who have a heightened maternal instinct.

Such ladies will raise both children and an uninitiated husband, not seeing anything wrong with that.

The hunt for complaisant men is opened and strong women. They are used to subordinating to their will and giving instructions, and this is all that a sissy needs.

No war of characters - peace and quiet in the house. In defense" good boy»It can be noted that he will be a caring owner and family man.

True, you periodically need to praise and cheer him up. This is the best motivation for a child, albeit an adult.

Such men are courteous, educated, gallant. In a relationship, the main thing for them is stability and comfort.

Mom raised the "little gentleman" for herself and developed the qualities that she would like to see as a woman.

What if the husband is a sissy?

You can say: “I didn’t marry such a man”, “He wasn’t like that!”.

Admit at least to yourself: there were alarm bells, only you didn’t pay attention to them or went down the aisle with the thought: “Well, I’ll re-educate him!”.

But you didn’t know before that creating a family with a sissy is a serious test. Mother could raise good son, but for the role of husband, father and head of the family, he is not suitable.

Relationship with mother-in-law. Let's be honest: relations with the husband's mother will have to be improved. She has been and will be an authority for your man all her life.

As they say, if the process cannot be stopped, it must be led! Otherwise, regular showdowns will ruin your life, and your husband will rush between two fires, choosing a side.

Do not openly turn a man against his mother, be wiser. Get out of the city on weekends (just the two of you!), travel more often, meet friends, arrange romantic evenings!

If you are a family, you need to do everything together, without involving an expert in the form of a mother-in-law. And one more thing: insist on living separately. Otherwise, it will be extremely difficult to leave later.

Responsibility. Because of the domineering mother, the man simply did not have the opportunity to show character and make commitments.

If you immediately load him like an ox and make him do everything - big child just run back to mom.

Accustom him to life gradually. Praise, encourage, so that the husband knows that being the head of the family is not a headache, but pleasant chores.

Every man has pride and self-esteem. It's just that for those who have lived under the wing of their mother for a long time, it is buried deeper.

Your task is to reach out to his male "I". Learned lessons with children? Well done! Did you fix the faucet in the bathroom? A real man! You will achieve more with praise than with reproaches and shouting.

Be feminine. If you want your husband to show masculine qualities awaken the woman in you. Beautiful, sexy, understanding, gentle ...

A man must want to come home. And there he should be waiting not for a “saw fish”, but for a loving wife.

Look for common interests . Sign up together for dance or yoga, culinary school or extreme driving courses!

The same technique works as with a child: if a man is passionate about something, he will put his interests first. And you will take a stronger place in his heart.

be patient. The male-boy is very sensitive to criticism and reproaches. After all, he was used to a different demeanor of his mother.

Learn to express your dissatisfaction in a calm tone, explain what the man did wrong.

Do not repeat the mistake of many women: do not turn the arrows on his mother and the flaws in his upbringing. A sissy will not forgive such an insult.

Do not be silent. Do you know why a man leaves your borscht half-eaten and rushes to his mother on demand? Because this woman has set her requirements, and you have not.

If you did not even raise this topic and did not express your dissatisfaction, then how will a man know that this is unpleasant for you?

He's not a telepath. He is just a boy who has lived according to his mother's system since childhood.

Discuss the rules family life"on the shore". Your companion should know that a wife requires no less attention and respect than a mother.

The needs of the family must come first. So if your husband left you with your children in the country, because your mother urgently needed to go to the market to buy vegetables, draw your own conclusions.

Either a man is fully aware that compliance with the prescribed rules is a guarantee happy relationship, or you continue to put up with his oddities until you get bored.

Yes, it is more difficult to re-educate an adult man, but it is possible! The main thing is your mutual desire to be together and create a strong family!

If you tried everything, but it didn’t work out to tear the man from your mother’s chest: think about it, do you need such a life partner?