Develop and strengthen willpower. Advice from a psychologist and philosopher. Kelly McGonigal: Willpower can be trained like a muscle

Do you feel like you lack willpower and self-control? Then the book Kelly McGonigal for you. Kelly McGonigal is not some amateur writer, but a real expert in the development of willpower, a practicing psychologist, doctor of science and professor at Stanford University.

At one time, she created a course of the same name for students, designed for 2.5 months of training, which soon became very popular and attracted the attention of the press. Then, as befits a professor, Kelly McGonigal had to write this book, which also quickly became famous.

In his book "Strength of will. How to develop and strengthen" Kelly McGonigal gives plenty valuable advice about how to increase self-control. She believes that willpower can be trained the same way we train muscles. By exercising regularly, without overloading, and making sure to give this “muscle” enough rest, it quickly responds to the load and becomes more resilient. Then you become able to perform those actions that were previously barely possible for you.

In addition to the training tips in the book "Strength of will. How to develop and strengthen" Various interesting tricks are described with the help of which even a person who does not specifically train can learn to better control himself. For example these.

Ecology of life: The other day I read a book that turned all my ideas about willpower upside down and made me look at this issue from a different angle. This book is called “Willpower. How to develop and strengthen?”, it was written by Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. and professor at Stanford University. This book talks about how our self-control depends on the processes occurring inside our body, and how to manage these processes.

I read a book that changed all my ideas about willpower and made me look at this issue from a different angle. This book is called “Willpower. How to develop and strengthen?”, it was written by Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. and professor at Stanford University.

This book talks about how our self-control depends on the processes occurring inside our body, and how to manage these processes.

“Willpower” differs from most similar books on self-development in that it is based entirely on scientific research, and the author substantiates any of his statements. What is the value of just a list that takes up several dozen pages? scientific works, used in the preparation of the book. There is no esotericism or any traditional (folk) methods here - only a scientific approach. Kelly is not just a researcher, she is a practitioner who teaches her own course on developing willpower and has the opportunity to observe the effects of certain factors live, communicating and conducting experiments with her students.

In this article I want to highlight several of the most important points from the book, and I sincerely advise you to read it in its entirety. Even if you do not have problems making strong-willed decisions, the information provided will be very useful for general development and understanding of how people really work.

Kelly McGonigal

What is willpower?

Willpower (or self-control) is the human ability to control three forces that regulate all our actions and desires:

"I won't"- this is the ability to say “no”, a component of willpower, which is usually perceived as willpower in general. When you try to resist eating a bad cake, buying a trinket, smoking a cigarette, or giving in to any other temptation, you are exercising the power of “I Won’t.”

"I will"- the reverse side of the previous force, which allows us to do what we need by a strong-willed decision. Forcing yourself to work, do exercises, clean your room, or do any other unpleasant, uninteresting, but useful thing is a manifestation of the power of “I will.”

"I want"- the third force, reflecting what is really important to you. It manifests itself in those moments when you retreat from your important life goals for the sake of momentary temptations. For example, with a cake, if the force of “I won’t” puts pressure on you not to eat it because it harms the body and makes you fat, then “I want” forces you to give up the yummy food because you want something something to achieve: to please another person, to fit into old jeans, to look good in a photo.

Where did willpower come from?

Willpower is unique to humans, and it has appeared hundreds of thousands of years ago as a survival mechanism that pushes us to make the right decisions. As is known, evolutionary selection leaves only the strongest alive, and if in wildlife the first people (like animals) had to trust their instincts in everything, then with the advent of human society more complex needs came to the fore.

To survive among his own kind, man had to learn to keep selfish instincts under control and develop qualities that would help him in the long run: the ability to cooperate, build relationships, take care of himself, control his impulses. Actually, it is precisely this feature of making decisions consciously, and not instinctively, that made us real people.

IN modern times Willpower similarly allows us to outperform those around us and achieve greater success. Strong-willed people, whatever one may say, are healthier and happier, they earn more and achieve greater success in their careers, they have stronger relationships, they cope better with stress and problems, and resolve conflicts more easily. According to Kelly (and I agree with her), self-control in learning is higher than intelligence, in family matters plays a greater role than sensitivity, and in relationships it is more important than charisma.

From a physiological point of view, willpower has its rightful place in the body - this is the perfrontal cortex, the largest region of the brain. There are three main areas in the perfrontal cortex responsible for self-control: “I will” is located in the upper left, “I will not” is in the right, and “I want” is slightly lower and closer to the center.

It is this part of the brain that allows us to control ourselves and accept right decisions. There are cases where, with injuries to the front part of the brain, people remained alive, but almost completely lost the ability to control their actions - they began to commit stupid (from the point of view of society) and thoughtless actions, to behave rudely, selfishly and aggressively.

So, any processes occurring in the perfrontal cortex affect our level of self-control. Our task is to use them for good, to develop and strengthen willpower.

How to develop and strengthen willpower?

There are at least thirteen properties of willpower, knowing and using which you can pump your self-control to the maximum. All of them influence one, two or all three of the forces that make up willpower (pardon the pun).

1. Willpower can be trained like a muscle. The more often you resort to volitional efforts, the easier it becomes for you to do this in the future. If you constantly take care of yourself in small ways, you can strengthen your willpower in general.

2. Meditation. Regular meditation increases blood flow to the perfrontal cortex in much the same way that lifting weights increases blood flow to the muscles. As a result, the cortex adapts, enlarging and speeding up its work - and, therefore, self-control increases.

3. Deep breathing. When the brain “turns on” instincts, our heartbeat speeds up and our breathing quickens. Conversely, deep, slow breathing allows you to concentrate and raise your will above your instincts. So when you need to stop internal struggle and make a volitional decision, breathe as slowly and deeply as possible for some time - self-control will return.

4. Training. Exercise, like meditation, enlarges and speeds up the perfrontal cortex, and also relieves stress and is a powerful antidepressant. This includes not only exercise, but also any other active daily activity.

What reduces willpower?

5. Lack of sleep. Chronic lack of sleep disrupts the amount of glucose consumed, which means the brain is left without nutrition and begins to starve. Self-control, as the most energy-consuming task, simply turns off at such times, and that is why in a sleepy state it is difficult for us to make decisions and be responsible for our actions.

Moreover, in a state of sleep deprivation, the perfrontal cortex loses control over other areas of the brain, which leads to disruption of hormonal levels and an even greater loss of self-control. This process is reversible - you just need to get enough sleep.

6. Willpower has limits. Paradox: the more often you try to control yourself, the more your willpower gets tired and discharged, which can lead to a complete loss of control over yourself. Since it follows from the first point that willpower is like a muscle, it gets tired after exercise and needs to be restored.

By the way, this is why it is so easy to break down when following a diet. To prevent this from happening, firstly, self-control training must be gradual, and secondly, you must let go of the “reins” of control from time to time and relax.

7. Good deeds weaken willpower. Having done (or supposed to do) a good deed, we tend to forget about our true goals (“I want”) and allow ourselves some kind of concessions or “rewards.” For example, having bought something in a supermarket at a discount, we always risk spending more overall than we could: this is how we reward ourselves for resourcefulness and a successful purchase.

Having ordered a healthy and wholesome dish in a restaurant, it is easier for us to make a concession and choose something unhealthy to go with it. Having done a useful task, we reward ourselves with a trinket or a harmful tasty treat. It's good when good deeds are rewarded, but it's very bad when these rewards go against your true goals and values.

8. Self-control decreases greatly as dopamine levels increase. The hormone dopamine is responsible for the pleasant anticipation of reward and is released when we expect something pleasant. It is because of dopamine that the likelihood of smoking a cigarette or eating a cake increases sharply when you see it (him) packed in a beautiful wrapper.

This is why many men turn off their brains when they come into their lives. beautiful woman. That is why another fashionista, seeing Nice dress, can break out and buy it for crazy money. The closer the object of your pleasure, the more dopamine is released, and the higher the chance that you will simply lose your head.

9. A bird in the hand is better than a pie in the sky. One of the features of our psyche and special case the previous point is that a person prefers to get something right NOW, even if he is told that he will receive much more LATER.

The opportunity to possess a thing or experience pleasure NOW turns on instincts, which, as has been said more than once, are aimed at survival and receiving joy from life, the enhanced synthesis of the aforementioned dopamine starts and completely turns off willpower. By the way, this is the basis of the well-known trick of scammers who show you beautiful thing, they let you hold it in your hands, and then they take it away - and you madly want to buy it, because it is almost yours.

10. Stress greatly reduces willpower. When we are stressed, our brain does its best to direct us towards something that can bring pleasure, even if it is dubious from the point of view of your goals. That's why many fat people tend to eat stress, and alcoholics tend to drink. It gives joy, although it destroys the body.

11. Subconscious fear of death reduces willpower. Unlike our primitive ancestors, we can almost always be sure that nothing threatens our lives. But, nevertheless, subconsciously we experience fear from bad news, incidents and various horror stories. This fear puts our body into defense mode, and, just like in the previous point, the brain reduces self-control and goes in search of dubious pleasures.

In order not to be exposed to the situations described in the previous paragraphs, avoid these irritants, and constantly keep your real goals before your eyes.

12. Guilt reduces willpower. Having succumbed to any temptation, we tend to blame ourselves and at the same time lose self-control. In a state of guilt, these temptations can turn into a chain reaction - than more people drinks alcohol, the more he wants, the more harmful things he eats, the more difficult it is for him to give them up.

Instead of making a strong-willed decision to refuse to “continue the banquet,” he says: “I’ve already broken all my diets, a couple more pieces of cake won’t make a difference.” The principle of operation of our brain is the same - having succumbed to feelings of guilt and having experienced stress, the brain seeks pleasure and finds it in what caused this feeling. The solution here is this: try to be less self-critical and learn to forgive yourself for all sorts of minor mistakes.

13. Your self-control directly depends on society. As already mentioned, the mechanism of willpower arose in order to regulate the needs and desires of a person living in society. This also has a downside: public opinion greatly influences all the decisions we make, sometimes causing us to lose control of ourselves. Remember how often you are faced with the need to be like everyone else? I personally know people who make decisions about how to dress for the street not based on the weather, but based on “what are they wearing out there now?”

This might interest you:

Emotions such as pride and shame also influence our actions and decisions, much more powerfully than logic and rational arguments. In order to direct this effect in the right direction, you need to pay attention to your surroundings - who do you communicate with, from whom do you tend to adopt certain traits and habits, who do you try to imitate? Make plans and, again, keep your long-term goals before your eyes - and you will live not like everyone else, but the way you want. published

Title: Willpower. How to develop and strengthen
Writer: Kelly McGonigal
Year: 2012
Publisher: Mann, Ivanov and Ferber (MYTH)
Age limit: 12+
Volume: 320 pp. 5 illustrations
Genres: Personal growth, Foreign psychology

About the book “Willpower. How to develop and strengthen" Kelly McGonigal

Kelly McGonigal is not only a successful writer, but also a professor at Stanford University and a Doctor of Philosophy. Her acclaimed bestseller “Willpower. How to develop and strengthen" has won the favor of many people around the world.

This book is worth reading for every person, because we all face various temptations in the course of life. If you drink, smoke, have a gambling addiction, even shopaholism, all the answers to how to cope with these on your own bad habits, this book will give you. Willpower is not an innate quality, but labor-intensive and everyday work. No one wants to be known as a weakling in this life, but we all have minor shortcomings that prevent us from truly feeling strong personality with internal rod. The book teaches you how to properly build your business, establish relationships with loved ones, rationally organize your personal and professional time, without being distracted by bad or petty habits.

The technique described in the book “Willpower. How to develop and strengthen" is aimed at the everyday fight against laziness, stress and conflicts." A morally strong person knows that self-indulgence is the way of a child, and such a way will never allow one to achieve success in life. various fields life. And only a person who achieves his own self-control, first of all, will achieve everything else.

The book contains more than 200 pages of facts and most interesting information. The author's writing style is ironic and metaphorical. While reading this book, you will not feel like you are reading boring applied literature. The author presents his system in a lively, accessible language, with a dose of humor, and gives many different examples from life.

Individual chapters of the book talk about the “traps” that lie in wait for us on the path to self-control. There are also "Under the Microscope" and "Experiment" sections at the end of each chapter. By honestly answering the questions in this section, you will be able to understand yourself more deeply and take advice aimed at strengthening your willpower and your own character.

In order to successfully control yourself, you need to know your own weaknesses. Those people who highly assess the potential of their willpower often find themselves left behind in life; they are unable to cope with their habits, because people with inflated self-esteem often cannot adequately assess their strengths and abilities. Read Kelly McGonigal's book, and you will once and for all get rid of everything that prevents you from successfully maneuvering the difficult river of life.

On our literary website you can download Kelly McGonigal’s book “Willpower. How to develop and strengthen" for free in formats suitable for different devices - epub, fb2, txt, rtf. Do you like to read books and always keep up with new releases? We have a large selection of books of various genres: classics, modern fiction, psychological literature and children's publications. In addition, we offer interesting and educational articles for aspiring writers and all those who want to learn how to write beautifully. Each of our visitors will be able to find something useful and exciting for themselves.