VK statuses about positivity. The funniest statuses for social networks, funny and funny quotes

Status is not only social status in society, but also a laconic statement describing your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Statuses can be sad, happy, positive, about love, friendship, betrayal, etc. We share our statuses with friends in in social networks. To cheer everyone up (including yourself), you can select positive options and post them on your page.

The most positive statuses: examples

• A real alcoholic drinks once a day - from morning to evening.
• Sign in the student canteen: Do not feed cutlets to cats, two unfortunate creatures have already been poisoned!
• The secret of happiness: never compare your health, wife and salary with others.
• The kiss was invented by a man to silence a woman, at least for a minute.
• If a fool is decently dressed, is always well-fed and smiles at life, then he is not so stupid.
• There are no dead ends. There are unbroken tunnels.
• There are three troubles in Russia: fools, roads, and the fools who make these roads.
• If time is running out for you, don't worry. Simply remove the battery from your watch and enjoy life.
• What makes a good day is not the date or the weather, but the people.
• If life fails, accept it as a new design; and, taking this opportunity, change the interior and change the atmosphere.
• Positive thinking is when you fell down the stairs and you think: Wow... How quickly I went down!
• Look at life through the windshield, not the rearview mirror.
• A bald spot is a clearing trampled by thoughts.
• If people constantly laugh at you, it means you bring joy to people.

Statuses for social networks: positive and funny

• Let go of all the idiots and fools from your life, the circus must tour!
• Sometimes a smile makes us forget about our problems, sometimes a smile works wonders, it decorates our world. Never stop smiling, even when you are sad, because someone might fall in love with your smile!
• The stars can be seen better through the slid down roof.
• Some mistakes in life are too great to make just once!
• Never despair in life. One person drew a square and called it a picture. Happened. So you will succeed!
• If you get up on your left foot in the morning, then the day will go well. If it's on the right, even better. And if you can’t get up at all, then it was good yesterday.
• Life is like a mirror, we get better results when we smile at it.
• For Russians, signs: Swimming is PROHIBITED!, Don’t get in - YOU WILL KILL!, DO NOT TOUCH with your hands! - it's a challenge!.
• Well, they were rude to you in the supermarket - don’t worry. Place frozen fish in the bread section.
• Save your statuses - they will help the psychiatrist with a diagnosis.
• Life is boring and monotonous. But everything changes when they arrive... Money on the card!
• This is why lemonade is made from artificial lemon juice, and are the detergents made from natural materials?
• Look at life more cheerfully: after stepping on a rake, enjoy the fireworks.
• The sun is shining, the cat is purring, the coffee is brewing, a new day awaits us!

Positive statuses: options for girls

• I think I'm pregnant...I'm sick of work and drawn to the salty sea.
• I want a light to come on in my purse when I open it, like in a refrigerator!
• Girl, do you have valentines with the inscription “to my only one”? - Eat! - Give me 16 pieces.
• I'm tired of all. Tired. I'll go to the monastery. In men's. For 3 days….
• I heard this proverb: whoever is afraid of something will happen to him. Now I am very afraid of getting rich and losing weight.
• Girls are unique only in their logic. She alone is worth a lot to us.
• Nowadays, if you are smart, shy and sweet, this is just some kind of vice.
• Live while you live... Fall in love sometimes. Cry when you have to. And always have fun!
• Memo for husbands: There should be so many clothes in a wife’s closet that no lover could fit in there.
• I have already come to terms with the fact that instead white horse my prince will have a black hummer... I'm strong, I can stand it!
• Give a girl a million red roses, and she will say that she needs one, but white....
• The woman knows that if she sobs loudly and throws a good tantrum, then two and two will equal five.
• If a woman wants something sweet, she can always convince herself that this cake is dietary.
• A scandal for a woman is a form of entertainment.
• Previously, my mother was worried that I would give birth to a child at the age of 15... and now she is worried that I will give birth at least by the age of 30.
• My husband gave me a sea of ​​flowers! He took it out to the field and said: “It’s all yours, collect it!!!”

No the best way cheer yourself and your friends up than positive statuses to lift your spirits. These are short, funny and beautiful sayings will charge even the most gloomy and depressed people with positive energy. You can find all the most positive, fresh and new statuses on our website. They are guaranteed to cheer you and your friends on social networks up, even if the day turned out to be very difficult.

Don’t say that the world is sad, don’t say that it’s difficult to live, know how to LAUGH, BELIEVE AND LOVE amidst the ruins of life!

Having bitten into an apple, it is always more pleasant to see a whole worm in it, rather than half.

There will be a new dawn, there will be many victories! And never believe that there is no way out!

First of all, you need to protect your nerves from yourself.

There are no dead ends. There are unbroken tunnels.

How am I doing, you ask? I will answer you that... as usual. I live like in a fairy tale, gentlemen: It’s good, then everything is great!

Do not give up! And you will see how others give up!

Love won! Let's make money! We will achieve success... and we will give birth to HAPPINESS!)

You are the master designer of your life, whether you realize it or not.

Let's just enjoy Life! And greet every day with a smile! Be able to remain optimistic... Love, pray, believe and dare.

The stars can be seen better through the slid down roof.

A proven recipe for youth: enjoy every little thing and don’t worry about every bastard.

Refuse everything except the best!

Do you think a shitty life and a shitty life are the same thing? Compare fig compote and horseradish compote!

How is your mood, pulse, blood pressure? Blood circulation, urination, temperature and vision? Hearing, position, reproductive system? In short, how are you?

If it's a disaster, don't be sad about anything! You know, such is your destiny - become... a trumpet player!

So that all your affairs succeed, and life always sparkles with positivity, establish positive status in the morning: I AM HAPPY, SUCCESSFUL AND BEAUTIFUL!!!

The less you know, you sleep better; the more you know, the better you eat.

Life is too serious a thing to talk about seriously

If you get up on your left foot in the morning, then the day will go well. If it's on the right, it's even better. And if you can’t get up at all, then it was good yesterday.

Politeness is not only about sending, but also about conducting.

What do you allow yourself? Immediately start allowing yourself more and more!

Some mistakes in life are too great to make just once!

Know how to ignore the weaknesses of others, Don’t shout about your own problems, Having identified a goal, move forward! Success will definitely come to you!

Sometimes a smile makes us forget about our problems, sometimes a smile works wonders, it decorates our world. Never stop smiling, even when you are sad, because someone might fall in love with your smile!

Believe in yourself! Then the whole world will believe you!

A condom does not guarantee absolute safety. One of my friends was wearing it but still got hit by a car

Is there anything you can't handle, can't afford, or can't handle? Let it be then.

Let's go through life together, because our cockroaches follow the same path!

Are you free tomorrow? - Yes, why? -I need you. -For how long? -Forever!

And the black streaks in my life are only from my favorite chocolate...

In moments when fear knocks on your temple, do not repeat the mistakes of a fool. The deeper you bury your head in the sand, the more defenseless your upturned ass.

The best guarantee of a good and quiet life is horseradish carefully placed on the opinions of others

A good mood is the best decoration of your life!

Any problem will become a stepping stone on the path to resounding success when you approach it with humor!

When the cats have reached the soul and are scratching, sprinkle some valerian. And they will stop scratching and begin to rub affectionately.

No matter how much you raise a person with noble examples, he still wants to live well

For every good source of income, there is always a bad article in the Criminal Code!

Don't think that everything is bad, because it will be even worse. Think that everything is good, and it will be even better.

If life begins to shower you from head to toe with rose petals, look carefully upward to see if a flower pot is flying from the windowsill following the petals)))

What is the meaning of our life? Probably, it is to give happiness to those who live nearby, and to give children a chance to see this world in bright colors.

Give yours to the world best qualities, and he will reciprocate your feelings.

Those who have nothing to lose smile the most cheerfully and carefreely...

The deepest marks in a man's heart are left by those women whom he did not fuck...

Even a donkey understands: if he feeds him, he will harness him.

The bright future called and said: “I’m waiting!”

If there are not enough vitamins in the body, this is bad, but fixable. And if you have brains, then you won’t get away with apples and tangerines.

How many unnecessary words we throw to the wind. Where we need to remain silent, we immediately speak out. Where an eagle's eye is needed, We begin to listen. In moments of sadness, we induce panic, trying to destroy it with causeless happiness. By remaining in silence, we disturb the peace. And time to think about how we are losing Personality...

If you go to heaven, you will be surprised to meet people you didn't expect to meet there. Many of them will be even more surprised to meet you there.

Don't argue with someone who can kick you out of your home and cut you out of their will.

Catch good mood- it visits us so rarely.

Communicate with someone who is positive, Who sees the world in bright colors, After all, the one who is disgusted with himself will drag you to the bottom - into his toilet.

Smile is my face! Laughter is my character! Joy is my life!

Take a fasting day. Don't burden yourself.

Sometimes dreams come true not the way we wanted, but even better.