Dale Carnegie: advice and quotes from the great speaker and psychologist. Aphorisms and sayings of D. Carnegie

Probably every person whose activities are related to oratory is familiar with the works of Dale Carnegie. If this is the first time you hear this name, we advise you to immediately search the Internet or buy his books, because these are masterpieces that were written more than half a century ago, but remain relevant to this day.
Today we will not consider Carnegie’s biography in detail, or analyze his books, but will pay attention to the best quotes, statements and advice from the American psychologist and writer. Why are Carnegie's quotes interesting? Firstly, they are not unambiguous. After reading this or that phrase, everyone will find something special in it, something that will be suitable specifically for him and his life situations. Secondly, Carnegie is a world-recognized specialist, and his best quotes and the advice contains a lot of wisdom and lessons. One small but incredibly precise phrase can make tens of thousands of minds think.
So today we will think a little about best sayings and quotes from Dale Carnegie, we will try to analyze them, to understand what this great man wanted to tell us.

1. If you are looking for happiness, then you don’t need to think about gratitude or ingratitude..

Drop duality. Surrender to the inner joy that comes from surrender.

Dale Carnegie understood this world very correctly. We cannot be happy as long as we divide everything that happens into good or bad, into ours and yours, into cold and warm. You need to move away from dualities and perceive everything as it is. Whatever happens in your life, take it for granted, as an experience, as a lesson, as an opportunity to change something, to act differently.

Expectations are another problem that certainly will not make a person happy. Therefore, if you do something, do not expect gratitude or ingratitude. You don’t act in a certain way in order to be praised and told how great you are. Indulge in inner joy and enjoy everything that happens, regardless of the assessment of others.

2. You should never settle scores with your enemies, because in the end this will bring more harm to you than to them.
Although there is such a thing as “blood feud”, and there are people who live by the principle “an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth”, but is this correct? Believe me, revenge will not make you happy and will not bring joy and peace into your life. Learn to forgive people, learn to understand them and accept all their actions. It is much easier when you say within yourself: “No matter what you do, I forgive you. Go in peace."
Of course, for some this may seem ridiculous, saying that if I or my family were offended, then you need to offend in return, take revenge, do as they do to you. Remember that evil begets even greater evil, and your desire for revenge will bring many problems and disappointments into your life. We do many things out of emotion, and only later, when we assess the situation soberly, do we realize how much stupidity we have done. Don't do anything stupid, learn to forgive and be tolerant.

3. Act like General Eisenhower: never think for a minute about people who are unpleasant to you.
There are so many wonderful things in life, so many pleasant and positive things, we just often don’t notice these banal things. Don't focus on problems and the people who create those problems. Do not think about those who are unpleasant to you, about those who bring sorrow and disappointment into your life. After all, the law of attraction says: “What you focus your attention on comes into your life at a particular speed.” If you constantly think about problems, then there will be even more of them. Therefore, bring joy, positive thinking, and faith in a bright future into your life. Believe me, life is not so long to waste it thinking about unpleasant things and people.

4. Don't criticize, don't judge, don't complain.
Perhaps the most short quote Dale Carnegie, but the deepest in meaning. Many people understand that there is no need to criticize, condemn and complain, but not many people think about why. Let's find out. What are critics - this is the awareness that you are superior and better than man. Who told you this? Your own ego? Well, you don’t need to put yourself above others, because you don’t know all their life situations, and you can’t criticize a person for what he’s like in life. this moment. The only person you have the right to criticize is yourself. Condemnation also comes from criticism. Who are we to judge other people? We often see grains of sand in the eyes of others, while not noticing the logs in our own. We love to savor and condemn our neighbor’s problems, but at the same time we are unable to notice and understand our own troubles.
Complaining is another negative aspect of our lives that you should eliminate. Complaining and making yourself a victim will not change anything. As mentioned above, what you concentrate your thoughts on comes into your life. If you constantly think about problems, complain about bad life, then it will be even worse.

5. Remember, your interlocutor may be completely wrong. But he doesn't think so. There is no need to judge him.
Each of us has our own point of view, our own thoughts and vision of certain situations. Let your thoughts not always coincide with the views of your interlocutors. But this is natural. We are all individuals, we all have the right to freedom of worldview. Therefore, if you find yourself in a situation where your friend talks about something with which you do not agree, then it is better to simply accept him, accept his point of view. We are not saying that you should change yourself and your vision, you just have to learn to accept other people for who they are. The desire to argue and change them will lead to conflict. You need it?

6. Know how to take the position of another person and understand what he needs, not you. The whole world will be with the one who can do this.
Don’t look at the world only from the position of “I” and “I need.” From the pages of fashion magazines, from TV screens, we are told that selfishness is normal, that you need to live for yourself and not notice anyone else, and that’s the only way you can achieve success. But few people compare the concepts of success and happiness. Will you be happy if you don’t have true friends, good acquaintances, if you are valued only for your bank account? One day Steve Jobs said: “Money is not the most important thing. I don’t want to be the richest dead person in the cemetery.”
Learn to understand other people, see their needs and desires. You should never put yourself higher, think that because of what you have more money, then has the right to control the lives of other people. Learn to live in harmony with this world and with all people.

7. If a person tries to use you for his own purposes, cross him out from among your acquaintances.
Don't allow yourself to be manipulated. Yes, you can understand a person, understand his motives, you can even accept such behavior, but this does not mean that you should allow him to use you for selfish purposes. If you see that they are smiling falsely at you and “pouring pink syrups” just for the sake of profit, then try to say goodbye to such a person. Believe me, it’s better to do this right away and separate your life paths rather than end up in a very difficult and unpleasant situation in the future.

8. If fate gives you a lemon, make lemonade out of it.
A very successful quote from Dale Carnegie, which says that you can find a way out of any situation. Everything that you consider to be problems and failures is actually not such. What makes a situation problematic? That's right, our attitude towards it. Some, when faced with problems, become discouraged, begin to worry and fear that they will not be able to find the right way out. Others, when faced with a similar situation in their lives, think completely differently. They understand that a problem is not a problem at all, but an opportunity to analyze their actions, understand what was done wrong, and realize certain moments and do everything again, only taking into account the experience and knowledge gained.
Someone who receives a lemon may grimace and say, “Ugh, what disgusting,” while someone else will make lemonade and enjoy it on a hot summer day.

9. Stay busy. This is the cheapest medicine on earth - and one of the most effective.
I don’t even know what to add here. In essence, this phrase says it all. Always find something to do: work, write, study, draw, sing, learn, actively look at nature outside the window. When you are busy, then no problems are significant; when you are busy, then all difficulties disappear. The main thing is that this activity brings pleasure, that you really enjoy what you are doing.

Dale Carnegie (1888–1955) - American psychologist and writer, author of books on self-improvement, successful communication skills and public speaking; son of a poor farmer.

What makes you happy or unhappy is not what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing. What you think about makes you happy or unhappy.

We come into contact with the world around us through four, and only four, points. We are judged and categorized by these four points of contact: what we do, what we look like, what we say, and how we say it.

The noblest way to a person’s heart is to talk with him about what is most dear to him.

Finding naturalness in manners is the simplest thing. You just need to forget about yourself - about the impression you are trying to make.

Inaction creates doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to overcome fear, then don’t sit around thinking fruitlessly. Go ahead and get busy.

Self-pity and worries about current circumstances are not only a waste of energy, but also the most dangerous of bad habits.

Take advantage of this opportunity! All life is an accident. Best of luck As a rule, those who are willing to act and take risks achieve it.

Majority most important achievements in this world were committed by people who did not give up trying even when it seemed there was no longer any hope of success.

Cultivate success from failure. Disappointment and failure are the two most reliable steps on the path to success.

A successful person learns from mistakes and tries again, doing something new.

Ardent enthusiasm, backed up common sense and perseverance - this is the quality that most often ensures success.

When entering into relationships with people, remember that you are dealing with emotional, not logical creatures.

It is impossible to achieve success by doing what you don't like.

The essence of all art is to give pleasure and to receive pleasure.

Fear not those who argue, but those who deceive.

If you want to collect honey, don’t ruin the hive.

To flatter means to tell a person exactly what he thinks about himself.

Each of us, whether a butcher, a baker or a king on the throne, likes people who admire us.

A person's name is the sweetest and most important sound for him in any language.

Remember that the person talking to you is hundreds of times more interested in himself, his desires and problems, than in you and your affairs.

If you want to be a good communicator, become a good listener first.

Criticism is like a carrier pigeon: it always comes back.

The expression on a woman's face is much more important than her clothes.

Tackle the hard tasks first. Easy problems will solve themselves.

Success is getting what you want. Happiness is desiring what you have received.

It is human nature to blame anyone but yourself.

In your relationships with people, do not forget that you are not dealing with logical creatures, but with emotional creatures, full of prejudices and driven in their actions by pride and vanity.

There is only one way in the world to get someone to do something... And that is to make the other person want to do it. Remember - there is no other way.

By being genuinely interested in other people, you can make more friends in two months than you can make in two years by trying to interest other people in your special someone.

The surest way to a person’s heart is to talk with him about what he values ​​above all else.

Every nation considers itself superior to other nations. This gives rise to patriotism and... wars.

The only way to win an argument is to avoid it.

Of all the sure-fire devices that the devils of hell have ever invented to destroy love, the most deadly are nagging. This technique never fails. Like a bite king cobra, he always poisons, always kills.

The average person who is happily married is much happier than the genius who lives alone.

Remember that unfair criticism is often a compliment in disguise. Remember that no one ever hits a dead dog.

Of course, your husband has his faults! If he were a saint, he would never have married you.

American writer, publicist, educational psychologist, teacher - Dale Carnegie developed the concept of conflict-free and successful communication.

Carnegie was born on November 24, 1888 in American state Missouri, in a farming family. His family lived in great poverty, but through his own perseverance he was able to get a good education. The boy’s love for public speaking began during his school years: teachers repeatedly noted his ability to properly conduct discussions and his communication skills.

After graduating from high school, Carnegie worked as a delivery boy in Nebraska and then as an actor in New York. After that, I decided to take up public speaking professionally. And the first step in this was successful enrollment in Warrensburg Teachers College. There were 600 students at the college, and only six of them, including Dale, did not have the opportunity to rent housing in the city. Dale Carnegie rode a horse back and forth every day, covering a distance of six miles. I had to work out only during breaks between performing various tasks on the farm. In addition, he did not participate in many events held in college, since he had neither the time nor the appropriate clothes: he only had one good suit. He tried to get into football team, but the coach did not accept him, citing his low weight.

Carnegie was ashamed of his poverty, he was ashamed of his jacket, which was already too tight for him, and his trousers, which were already too short for him. He was 18 years old at the time, proud and sensitive, and had thoughts of suicide. His mother, who understood this, advised him to take part in a discussion group, where after several attempts he was accepted. This event in the autumn of 1906 turned out to be a turning point in his life.

Classes in the circle helped Dale gain self-confidence and improve his public speaking skills. In just one year of study, Carnegie became the owner of all the highest awards in competitions in public speaking. The young man begins to independently develop his own unique system of teaching communication skills. After some time, the young speaker obtains copyright for the methodology he has developed.

Carnegie begins to lecture and teach students professionally. Since 1911, he taught rhetoric and stagecraft independently, and soon organized his own school. At the same time, he travels around the country giving popular lectures. Carnegie becomes famous in his field.

In 1912, he began lecturing in his first group, organized by the Young Men's Christian Association (YMCA). A few months later, his course gained such popularity that instead of the usual rate of two dollars per evening, the HAML directorate began paying him thirty dollars.

In 1936, his most famous book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” was published - a collection practical advice under the general slogan: “Believe that you will achieve success - and you will achieve it.”

By the end of his life, Carnegie enjoyed worldwide fame, and his Institute of Effective Public Speaking and Human Relations had branches in hundreds of cities throughout America, Europe and the world.

Dale Carnegie died on November 1, 1955 in New York, suffering from Hodgkin's disease, he committed suicide at his home in Forest Hill and was buried in Belton, Missouri.

Dale Carnegie lived by the principle that no bad people. But there are unpleasant circumstances that can be dealt with, and it’s not worth spoiling the lives and mood of others because of them.

When you criticize someone, you risk setting fire to a keg of gunpowder labeled pride. - Dale Carnegie

People are hostile to the desire of an outsider to teach them something new. Present the information in a way that makes it seem previously known but forgotten.

Having imagined the worst that could happen, relive it mentally once and boldly begin to act.

Revenge on enemies is a stupid thing; you do more damage to yourself than to them.

D. Carnegie: “General Eisenhower did not spend the slightest second of his great life thinking about people unpleasant to him, and we should not do the same.”

IN business communication, as in politics, it is extremely important to be able to remember the name of your interlocutor the first time.

Everyone who has risen to the pinnacle of fame loves to look at the difficult path they have taken. – Carnegie

What lies beyond the horizon is hidden from view; our task is to act here and now.

Worrying about insomnia is harmful. People don’t die from lack of sleep; the body itself will tell the brain when it wants to sleep.

Read the continuation of Dale Carnegie's aphorisms on the pages:

Our main task is not to look into the foggy distance of the future. but to act now, in the direction that we can see.

We should be modest, because you and I don’t mean much. Do you know what prevents you from becoming an idiot? A complete trifle. Just a small amount of iodine in your thyroid gland. If a surgeon opened up your thyroid gland and removed a little iodine from it, you would turn into an idiot. A little iodine, which you can buy at the corner drugstore for five cents, is all that stands between you and a mental hospital. Five cents worth of iodine! You're not really bragging about this, are you?

If you tell me how you make yourself important, I will tell you who you are.

Henry James stated: “The first thing to learn in relationships with other people is that they cannot be prevented from being happy in the way they want, unless it prevents us from being happy in the way we want.”

Any fool can criticize, judge, and complain—and most fools do. But being understanding and forgiving requires a strong character and self-control.

I have enough problems of my own - I have no time to worry about the fact that God has not awarded everyone with equal intelligence.

Any fool is capable of defending his mistakes - most fools do just that.

A strong desire to learn something is already 50% of success.

My days are darkened not because love is gone,

Every person is a fool for at least five minutes a day. Real wisdom is not to exceed this time limit.

There is only one way to earn love in this world - stop demanding it and start giving love without hoping for gratitude.

Ted, he said, I want you to look at your life like an hourglass. You know that there are thousands of grains of sand at the top of the hourglass; and they all pass slowly and regularly through a narrow bridge in the middle. If you or I cause more than one grain of sand to pass through this hole at a given time, the watch will be ruined. You, me and all other people are like this hourglass. When we get up in the morning, there are hundreds of tasks that we must complete that day. And if we do not do these things one at a time in a certain period of time (like one grain of sand passes through a narrow hole), but strive to do everything at once, we will undermine our physical or mental strength.

Criticism is like a carrier pigeon: it always comes back

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “No matter what expression you use, you can never say anything that does not describe you.”

And yet it [a smile] cannot be bought, cannot be begged, cannot be borrowed or stolen, since it is of no use in itself until it is given away!

If you want to find happiness, stop thinking about gratitude and ingratitude and indulge in the inner joy that self-giving brings.

We wouldn't even dream of interrupting a stranger and exclaiming, "Oh my God, are you really going to tell that story again?" old story! It would never occur to us to open our friends' mail without permission or pry into their personal secrets. And only the members of our own family, that is, the people closest to us, we dare to insult for trifling mistakes.

The deepest quality of a person is a passionate desire to be appreciated.

The surest way to a person’s heart is to talk with him about what he values ​​above all else.

Do you have a boring life? Then give yourself wholeheartedly to work for what you believe in, live for this work, die for it, and you will find the happiness that always seemed out of reach to you.

When we hate our enemies, we give them power over us - they affect our sleep, appetite, blood pressure, our health and our happiness... Our hatred does not harm them, but it turns our days and nights into nightmares

“I will only walk this path once. So let me now perform some worthy act or show kindness towards some human being. Let me not delay or miss the opportunity to do this, for I will never go down this path again.”

The ability to speak is shortest path to fame.

Ultimately, marriage is nothing more than a series of ordinary episodes. And woe to those married couples who do not take this circumstance into account. Edna St. Vincent Millay once summed up this idea in one of her short poems:

In your relationships with people, do not forget that you are not dealing with logical creatures, but with emotional creatures, full of prejudices and driven in their actions by pride and vanity.

Every nation considers itself superior to other nations. This gives rise to patriotism and... wars.

Emerson said, “Every man I meet is in some way superior to me, and in that sense I can learn from him.”

This is human nature in action: the guilty person blames anyone but himself

A person's name is the sweetest and most important sound for him in any language.

Of all the sure-fire devices that the devils of hell have ever invented to destroy love, the deadliest are nagging. This technique never fails. Like the bite of a king cobra, it always poisons, always kills.

Each of us, whether a butcher, a baker or a king on the throne, likes people who admire us.

The burden of the future, added to the burden of the past, which you shoulder in the present, makes even the strongest stumble on the path.

The average person who is happily married is much happier than the genius who lives alone.

Criticism is a dangerous spark that can cause an explosion in the powder keg of pride.

You can make more friends in two months by being interested in other people than you could make in two years by trying to interest your special one.

Now take out your pocket knife and cut out the following quote. Stick it inside your hat or on your mirror where you can see it every morning while you shave:

One’s own toothache means more to a person than the famine in distant China that killed a million people.

To flatter means to tell a person exactly what he thinks about himself.

A smile costs nothing, but gives a lot. It enriches those who receive it without impoverishing those who give it. It lasts a moment, but sometimes remains in the memory forever. No one is rich enough to do without it, and no one is so poor that he would not become richer from it. It creates happiness in the home, creates an atmosphere of goodwill and serves as a password for friends.

Abe Lincoln once observed that “most people are only as happy as they decide to be.”

There is only one way in the sublunary world to influence another person: to talk to him about what is the object of his desires and show him how to achieve it

You are happy or unhappy not because of what you have, and not because of who you are, where you are, and not because of who you are, where you are, or what you do; your condition is determined by what you think about it all.

Confucius said: “Do not complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof if your own threshold is not cleared.”

And the fact that she left little by little.

Don't criticize, judge or complain.

Never try to settle scores with your enemies, because by doing so you will do yourself much more harm than them. Do like General Eisenhower: never think for a minute about people you don't like.

The late John Wanamaker once admitted: “Thirty years ago I realized that grumbling is stupid. I have enough trouble with my own shortcomings to be annoyed because God did not take care to evenly distribute mental abilities among people.”

An anxious and harassed individual who is unable to adapt to cruel real world, breaks off all contact with environment and goes off into his own fantasy world. In this way he tries to free himself from worries and worries.

Isolate the past! Let the dead past bury its dead... Isolate the yesterdays that illuminated the path to the grave for fools. The burden of the future, added to the burden of the past, which you shoulder in the present, makes even the strongest stumble on the path. Isolate the future as hermetically as the past... The future is in the present... There is no tomorrow. The day of man's salvation is today.

Always remember that children love to listen to adults talk - and be on the lookout...

The secret of our unhappiness is that we have too much leisure to think about whether we are happy or not.

Promises are usually worth little.

Isolate the past! Let the dead past bury its dead

Criticism is useless because it makes a person defensive and, as a rule, strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous because it attacks his pride, hurts his sense of self-importance and causes resentment.

No one needs a smile more than those who have nothing left to give!

As Dr. Johnson asserted, “God himself does not intend to judge man to the end of his days.”

To flatter is to tell a person exactly what he thinks about himself.

When a person starts a war with himself, he is already worth something.

A little lonely man is very easy to break, but when his soul draws strength from God, he becomes invincible.

One of the most dramatic properties of human nature is our tendency to postpone the implementation of our plans until the future.

Three subjects are the most interesting in the world... Sex, property and religion. With the help of the first we can create life, with the help of the second we maintain it, and with the help of the third we hope to continue it in another world.

“When the struggle begins within a person, then he is worth something,” Browning said.

One grain of sand per unit of time, one thing per unit of time...

One peasant woman, after a hard day of work, placed an armful of hay in front of her men. And when they indignantly asked if she was crazy, she replied: “Well, how could I know that you would pay attention to this? I have been preparing food for you men for twenty years now, and during all this time you have not given me a word to understand that you are not eating hay!”

The French philosopher La Rochefoucauld said: “If you want to have enemies, then surpass your friends; but if you want to have friends, then let your friends be superior to you.”

Our peace of mind and joy of being depend not on where we are, what we have or what position we occupy in society, but solely on our state of mind.

Many people graduate from college having learned to read Virgil in the original and mastered the mysteries of calculus, but without having received the slightest idea of ​​how they themselves think.

Show yours first friendly attitude- the surest way to to the human mind

A person rarely succeeds in anything if his activity does not bring him joy.

Politeness is such a quality of human nature that helps not to notice a broken gate, but to pay attention to the flowers behind this gate.

Many people call a doctor when they only need an audience.

People are ruled by pride and selfishness, and driven by vanity and prejudice

Say everything about yourself that your accuser is going to say, and you will take the wind out of his sails.

“The greatness of a great man is revealed in the way he treats little people,” says Carlyle.

Keep busy. This is the cheapest medicine on earth - and one of the most effective.

Why should we do this?

Rudeness is the cancer that eats away love. Everyone knows this, and yet it is well known that we treat strangers more politely than we treat our own loved ones.

To flatter is to tell a person exactly what he thinks about himself.

Criticism is useless because it makes a person defensive and, as a rule, strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous because it attacks his pride, hurts his sense of self-importance and makes him resentful.

Thought is the greatest power.

The more significant a person is, the more satisfaction people get from insulting him

Three subjects are the most interesting in the world... Sex, property and religion. With the help of the first we can create life, with the help of the second we maintain it, and with the help of the third we hope to continue it in another world

1. It’s human nature to blame anyone but yourself.

2. A person who talks only about himself thinks only about himself

3. If you want to be a good communicator, be a good listener first.

4. Remember that the person talking to you is hundreds of times more interested in himself, his desires and problems, than in you and your affairs.

5. Make people feel important and do it sincerely.

6. If you are wrong, admit it upfront and sincerely.

7. In your relationships with people, do not forget that you are not dealing with logical creatures, but with emotional creatures, full of prejudices and driven in their actions by pride and vanity

8. There is only one way in the world to motivate someone to do something... And it is to make another person want to do it. Remember - there is no other way

9. By being genuinely interested in other people, you can make more friends in two months than you can make in two years by trying to interest other people in your special someone.

10. The surest way to a person’s heart is a conversation with him about what he values ​​above all else.

11. Each nation considers itself superior to other nations. This gives rise to patriotism and... wars

12. The only way to win an argument is to avoid it.

13. Of all the sure-fire tricks that the devils of hell have ever invented to destroy love, the most deadly are nagging. This technique never fails. Like the bite of a king cobra, it always poisons, it always kills

14. An average person who is happily married is much happier than a genius who lives alone.

15. Remember that unfair criticism is often a disguised compliment. Don't forget that no one ever hits a dead dog

16. Of course, your husband has his shortcomings! If he were a saint he would never have married you

17. If you want to find happiness, stop thinking about gratitude and ingratitude and indulge in the inner joy that self-giving brings.

18. Remember that happiness does not depend on who you are or what you have; it depends entirely on what you think

19. Act like you're already happy and it will actually make you happy.

20. A dog is the only animal that does not have to work for its existence

21. Only a dog lives, giving nothing but love

22. If we want to make friends, let's do something that requires our time, energy, unselfish feelings and consideration for others.

23. But in order to understand and forgive, you need to master character and develop self-control

24. Instead of judging people, let's try to understand them

25. More mental illnesses are hospitalized in the United States than all other illnesses combined.

26. If you are over fifteen years old and live in New York State, you have a one in twenty chance of getting into mental asylum in the next seven years of your life

27. Do you feel like smiling? What, then, can I offer you? Two things. First, force yourself to smile. If you are alone, whistle or hum a tune or song. Act as if you are already happy and this will lead you to happiness

28. In this world, everyone is looking for happiness, and there is only one way, one the right way to find it. This is control over your thoughts

29. Happiness does not depend on external conditions, but depends on internal

30. Draw in your imagination the image of that gifted, worthy and useful person what you would like to be, and the image supported by your thought will hourly and every minute transform you into just such a person

31. A person without a smile on his face should not open a shop.

32. Remembering the name of the voter is the art of governing the state. To forget means to be consigned to oblivion

33. In business life and special contacts, the ability to remember the right name is almost as important as in politics.

34. Remember that for a person the sound of his name is the sweetest and most important sound of human speech

35. Our peace of mind and joy of life depend not on where we are, what we have or what position we occupy in society, but solely on our state of mind

36. If fate gives you a lemon, try to make lemonade out of it

38. Be sincere in your assessment and generous with praise

39. Don’t cut sawdust

40. In this world, there is only one way to deserve love - stop demanding it and start giving love, without hoping for gratitude.

41. Only a few people think logically. Most of us are biased, prejudiced, infected with preconceptions, jealousy, suspicion, fear, envy and pride

42. Criticism is like a carrier pigeon: it always comes back

43. Criticism is useless because it makes a person defensive and, as a rule, strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous because it attacks his pride, hurts his sense of self-importance and causes resentment.

44. Criticism is a dangerous spark that can cause an explosion in the powder keg of pride.

45. Showing your friendly attitude first is the surest way to the human mind

46. ​​Three subjects are the most interesting in the world... Sex, property and religion. With the help of the first we can create life, with the help of the second we maintain it, and with the help of the third we hope to continue it in another world

47. Never try to settle scores with your enemies, because by doing so you will do yourself much more harm than them. Do like General Eisenhower: never think for a minute about people you don't like.

48. When we hate our enemies, we give them power over us - they affect our sleep, appetite, blood pressure, our health and our happiness... Our hatred does not harm them, but it turns our days and nights into nightmares

49. To flatter means to tell a person exactly what he thinks about himself.

50. This is human nature in action: the guilty person blames anyone but himself

51. The expression a person wears on his face is much more important than the clothes he wears.

52. What makes you happy or unhappy is not what you have, not the characteristics of your personality, nor the place where you are and not what you are doing, but the way you think about it

53. Actions speak louder than words, and a smile carries the message: I like you, you make me happier, I’m glad to see you!

54. Listening carefully is the greatest compliment we can give to a person.

55. The ability to listen to your interlocutor is just as important in personal life as in business communication.

56. The eternal complainer and the most furious critic will instantly calm down if they get a patient and sympathetic listener

57. The ability to listen is apparently less common than other qualities of human nature.

58. If you want to know how to make people avoid you, laugh at you behind your back, or even despise you, then here is a recipe for this: never listen to anyone for a long time. Continuously talk about yourself. If you have a thought while your interlocutor is speaking, do not wait until he finishes. He's not as smart as you. Why waste time listening to his empty chatter? Intervene immediately and interrupt him mid-sentence.

59. The unvarnished truth is that almost every person you meet considers himself superior to you in some way, and you will find a sure way to his heart if you gently let him know that you recognize that important role, which he plays in his small world, and acknowledge it sincerely

60. The most striking thing is that people who have the least reason to be satisfied with their achievements often compensate for their feelings of inferiority with noisiness, fussiness and swagger, which create an unpleasant, literally disgusting impression

61. Instill in your interlocutor an awareness of his importance

61. Logic is a gift of the minority. The majority are influenced by prejudices and prejudices. Many people are infected with biased opinions, jealousy, suspicion, fear, envy and pride. And people for the most part do not want to change their views: be it issues of religion or hairstyle, communism or the performance of a popular actor

62. Anyone who is convinced against his will always remains in his opinion

63. In nine cases out of ten, the dispute ends with each of its participants becoming even more convinced than before that they are absolutely right

64. You may be right, absolutely right, in proving your point of view, but all your attempts to convince your interlocutor will probably remain as futile as if you were wrong

65. In a verbal duel of any person, regardless of his mental development It's almost impossible to make someone change their mind

66. Never start with the statement: “I will prove to you such and such.” It's the same as saying, "I'm smarter than you."

67. People must be taught as if you had not taught them. And present unfamiliar things as forgotten

68. By changing our thoughts we can change our lives.

69. There is nothing more deadly for a speaker than a bored audience.

70. There is only one way in this world to benefit from the past - and that is to calmly analyze our past mistakes so that we never repeat them in the future, and then forget about them completely.

71. The most valuable lesson I have learned in life is realizing the importance of what we think.

73. Our state of mind has an almost incredible influence on our physical strength.

74. If we think about happiness, we feel happy. If sad thoughts come to us, we feel sad. If we have fear in our thoughts, we are afraid. If we think about illnesses, it is quite possible that we will get sick. If we think about failure, we will certainly fail at something. If we wallow in self-pity, everyone will avoid us

75. We should care about solving our problems, but not worry about them.

76. Caring means being aware of what our problems are and calmly taking measures to resolve them. To be restless is to continually walk in circles, futile and maddening.

77. It is physically impossible to remain sad or depressed if you are wearing a mask. happy person

78. We may not be so holy as to love our enemies, but for our own sake own health and happiness, let's at least forgive them and forget about their existence

79. It is natural for people to forget about gratitude; therefore, if you wait for gratitude, you are preparing yourself a lot of grief

80. If we want to find happiness, let's stop thinking about gratitude or ingratitude, and do good deeds for the sake of the inner joy that we experience.

81. Unfair criticism is often a disguised compliment.

82. The more important a person is, the more satisfaction people who insult him get

83. When you are attacked or unfairly criticized, remember that it is often done because it makes your offender feel important. This often indicates that you have achieved something and deserve attention.

84. Many people feel a cruel sense of satisfaction in insulting those who are more educated than them or more successful than them.

85. People don’t think about you or me and they don’t care at all what they say about you and me. They are busy only with themselves, they think only about themselves before breakfast, after breakfast and all the time until ten minutes after midnight. They'll be a thousand times more worried about their own little headache than the news of your death or mine.

86. Even if it turns out that one of your six closest friends slandered you, laughed at you, deceived you, or stuck a knife in your back, do not wallow in self-pity

87. Although I can't stop people from criticizing me unfairly, I can do something more important: I can determine whether I will respond to unfair accusations.

88. A petty man gets angry over even the slightest criticism, but a wise man strives to learn something from those who condemn and reproach him and do not give way to him

89. Nothing ages you prematurely like tension and fatigue. Nothing will ruin your youth and beauty like fatigue

90. Our emotional state is much to a greater extent causes fatigue than physical stress

91. We rarely get tired when doing something interesting and exciting.

92. Walking ten blocks with a nagging wife can be more tiring than walking ten miles with an adoring lover.

93. Does having a daily pep talk with yourself sound stupid, frivolous and childish? No, on the contrary, this is the very essence of sound psychology

94. By talking to yourself every hour of the day, you can learn to control your thoughts.

95. Keep your thoughts positive and any work will seem less unpleasant to you.

96. Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday

Six rules that you can follow to make people like you:

1. Be genuinely interested in other people
2. Smile! After all, this the simplest way make a good first impression
3. Remember that a person's name is the sweetest and most important sound to him in any language
4. Be a good listener. Encouraging others to talk about themselves is the easiest way to become a good communicator.
5. Talk about what interests your interlocutor
6. Instill in your interlocutor a sense of his importance and do it sincerely

Twelve rules, the observance of which allows you to persuade people to your point of view:

1. The only way to win an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the opinion of your interlocutor, never tell the person that he is wrong
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and decisively.
4. Keep a friendly tone from the start
5. Make your interlocutor immediately answer you “yes” (Socratic rule)
6. Let your partner do most of the talking.
7. Let your interlocutor believe that this thought belongs to him. This will help you get cooperation
8. Sincerely try to see things from your interlocutor's point of view.
9. Be sympathetic to the thoughts and desires of others
10. Appeal to nobler motives!
11. Make your ideas visual, stage them. Cinema does this, radio does this. Why don't you do this?
12. Challenge, touch a nerve

Nine rules, the observance of which allows you to influence people without insulting them or causing them to feel offended:

1. If you must point out a person's mistake, start with praise and sincere recognition of the person's strengths.
2. Point out the mistakes of others not directly, but indirectly
3. Talk about your own mistakes first, and then criticize your interlocutor
4. Ask your interlocutor questions instead of ordering him something.
5. Give people the opportunity to save their prestige
6. Applaud people for their slightest success and celebrate their every success. Be "honest in your appreciation and generous in your praise"
7. Create a person good name so that he begins to live in accordance with it
8. Use encouragement. Give the impression that the bug you want to see fixed is easy to fix; make what you encourage people to do seem easy to them
9. Get people excited to do what you offer.