How to Deal with Difficult Things

Time is the same for everyone: 24 hours a day, 168 hours a week, 744 hours a month. No one can stretch it or shorten it, yet the results of using time are completely different. Someone reaches an income level of $1,000. for a year, and for some - for 5 years. What's the difference? The result depends on what these people were doing at that time.

It is often said that time is life. What does human life consist of? From sleeping, working, studying, reading, communicating, raising children, meeting with friends and family, traveling, hobbies, etc. Doing some things leads to success, doing others leads to even greater success. And it works. that managing time means managing your actions. The best part is that anyone can manage their business, regardless of age, gender and education.

Planning is planning specific list tasks, the implementation of which leads us to the intended result. In fact, it is a bridge between where we are now and where we want to go, that is, our goal. The plan is a “time machine” that moves us in the direction we want. Therefore, planning is effective when there is a goal. And if there is no goal, then there is nothing to plan.

When you have confident time management skills, you enjoy life, feel collected, and are in control of the situation. You know what to do immediately and what to leave for next time. You are ready to deal with any surprises that life may throw at you.

There is a wonderful phrase in the movie “DMB”: “In the army you always know what to do. If an enemy appears, you must shoot! Of course, you may not hit, but you always know where to shoot.” In Japan, almost every large enterprise has a vision of its development for 20 years ahead, and this helps them achieve success.

One of my friends evaluates the results of planning this way: “...in two weeks I moved from a state of constant crazy rush to a rhythm of calm and measured work.” Is this the difference between those who don't plan their time and those who do?

Without clear time planning, another friend of mine's workday was a whirlwind of tasks: “Everything I encountered became urgent and required attention. Before I had time to think about it, the day passed, and I realized that again I did not have time to save anything. When I created an action plan and organized a schedule around goals that were meaningful to me, I was able to do the things that mattered to me.”

Planning allows you to add large goals “in parts.” Remember the children's question: “How to eat an elephant?” It is difficult to eat an elephant at once, but it is easy to eat in parts.

Imagine young man who wants to buy a laptop for $1000 but earns $200 a month. The goal seems unrealistic, but still feasible. The young man should plan to save $50 every month to buy a computer, and live on the remaining $150. Thus, he will purchase a computer in 20 months. But you can put aside not $50, but $100 each month, and buy a computer in 10 months. This is not as fast as we would like, but this way the achievement of the goal is guaranteed. True, for this you need to plan to save a certain amount every month. If the young man does not do this, he will spend this $50-100 on other things and will not buy himself a computer, not because he did not have such an opportunity, but because he did not plan to take a small step every month to achieve his goal.

So, planning allows you to achieve global goals at the cost of minor but constant efforts.

For example, if your company's statistics show that for every 20 calls to customers, a salesperson receives one yes, then to get 5 yeses, you need to schedule conversations or invitations for 100 people. Then the entrepreneur will have either 5 new orders or 5 new business partners. If an entrepreneur needs 10 new orders or 10 new partners, then 200 meetings, calls or invitations, etc. should be planned.

The likelihood of success is much higher if an entrepreneur plans his outcome.

When an entrepreneur knows what result he wants to achieve and how, he feels more confident. It's like going on stage fully prepared for a performance. When an entrepreneur goes on stage and knows what to say, what to emphasize, what to encourage the audience to do, he feels confident in front of any audience. A well-developed action plan has a similar effect. If there is a good action plan, then the entrepreneur acts much more successfully, he has confidence that he will achieve his goal - sooner or later, but he will definitely achieve it.

When you plan, you have the opportunity to choose the direction of movement. If people do not plan their future, but simply give in to the flow, then it is not surprising that it does not take them exactly where they would like. Those who have a plan know where they want to sail. They themselves create their own future exactly the way they want. We may or may not plan for our success. The choice is in our hands.

So, conclusions:

• Managing time means planning your affairs.
• Planning is building a sequence of actions leading to the achievement of intended goals.
• Planning allows you to achieve high results
• Having a plan of action fills a person with confidence.

How to dream correctly

· Don’t limit yourself: a dream can be as global, surprising or unexpected as you like - it’s only yours.

· Make dream lists: write down everything that comes to your mind. Do it with pleasure and constantly add new items to the list.

· Formulate the goal in as much detail as possible. Incorrect option: “I want to play the piano.” It’s better this way: “First I want to learn how to disassemble and play Chopin’s waltzes, and then jazz.”

Dream or goal?

In order for blurry dreams to turn into clear goals, it is important to understand the difference between them. Until we act, the dream will remain a fantasy and will only cause a feeling of unsatisfied need. Psychologists call this state frustration and consider it very traumatic and difficult personal development! And if your needs regularly remain unmet, anxiety and self-doubt eventually arise.

But a dream turns into a goal only when we understand what it takes. As you progress, you will notice your achievements yourself - and this will give you a sense of pride, increase self-confidence - and help you achieve more and more goals.

You wouldn't go on a trip if you didn't know where you wanted to end up. It’s the same with goals: first of all, you have to understand what you really want and how to achieve it. Once you understand what you want to achieve, you will understand what effort it will take to achieve it. In fact, goal setting works like a compass, pointing you in a direction: the process helps you think about the future, better understand what you would like your life to be like, and understand your motivation. And you will have to start with the smallest steps.

Businessmen and athletes are the best at “eating an elephant piece by piece”: every day they take the smallest steps and get small results, which ultimately lead them to what they want.

Here is one of the professional secrets of businessmen - the “Smart Goals” method. Evaluate your goal according to the following criteria, and this will help you set the task correctly.

1. The goal must be specific, that is, you must understand what you want to achieve.

2. The goal should be measurable: understand how many pages a day you want to write, how many minutes or hours a week you want to devote to classes or exercises.

3. The goal must be achievable - is it unlikely that you seriously expect to win the Nobel Prize?

4. The goal should be relevant: let every small task be connected with the main idea, and not lead you astray.

5. And finally, the goal must have a time frame: you must clearly understand how much time you are willing to devote to achieving it. For example, if it takes more than 20 years, are you willing to wait?

What is procrastination?

This a beautiful word psychologists call constant, habitual postponing of tasks or decisions “for later” a painful and painful process when you convince yourself that you are about to start, but this never happens. Many people have been familiar with this state since their student days: we firmly knew that it was necessary to read the textbook not on the eve of the session, but during the semester, but... As a result, we get down to business when the deadline is about to pass, or we delay the choice until then. until there is nothing to choose from. The result is stress, guilt and self-doubt.

And this has nothing to do with laziness: an experienced procrastinator manages to do a hundred other things: sort through an archive with photographs or clean the apartment until it shines - in addition to the very main task from which he shirks and which is already

You won't get down to business because...

· You are not confident in your abilities, you are afraid of failure, you are afraid of not living up to expectations. Whose? Most likely their own.

· Your task looks too global: assessing it “as a whole,” you feel fear and simply have no idea how to approach it.

· You feel guilty and ashamed that you are such a disorganized and lazy person: for others, everything always works out on time and well, but you will probably do everything terribly, let everyone down and they won’t trust you with anything else.

· You want to do everything perfectly - after all, even as a child you were told something like: “If you do it, do it well.” That’s why you’re scared to start: what if you won’t be able to achieve this (mythical, by the way) ideal?

· You are not inspired by this activity, you do not feel interested or involved. Answer yourself the question: why are you doing this? Do you personally need this? Does this bring you closer to your dream?

· You resist, express dissatisfaction with the current situation and your position. It's like your psyche is on strike, and it's an important signal that it might be time for a change.

· Your anxiety prevents you from concentrating on your lesson and manifests itself on a physiological level: your breathing becomes intermittent, your heartbeat accelerates, your palms become sweaty.

· You have problems with motivation: perhaps the reward or result is located too far from the “starting point”.

· It is easier for you to act when someone controls or supports you, and independent work is hard for you.

Action plan

Any violent methods of fighting oneself lead to a dead end. If you force yourself or shame yourself for laziness and inaction, everything will remain as it is. This is a psychological trap: the longer you put it off, the more guilt you feel, and guilt, in turn, prevents you from taking action. What to do?

1. Tell yourself: “I am an adult, I am responsible for my life and manage my time. Now I don’t want to make any decisions, I don’t want to start new things. When I’m ready, I’ll do it.”

2. Relax. Ideal people, those who always choose the best option, always do everything “perfectly”, it simply does not exist, everyone has the right to make mistakes

3. Make sure that you have enough time and space to do what you want, without being interrupted and disturbed every minute. Agree with your loved ones that this is important to you and ask them to help you focus.

4. Find a “kind critic” who will appreciate your achievements - but only their positive aspects. It could be your husband, or your girlfriend, or even your child: now you need praise and moral support.

5. Understand that if you endlessly put off making a decision or choosing from several options, you are simply left with nothing. But when you choose something, you end up with an advantage in any case - even if your choice is not the most ideal. And, by the way, almost any decision you can change it later.

6. When persuading yourself to get down to business, take your mind off thoughts about its global nature. Start with the smallest and simplest things: write the first line, sharpen your pencil, take out the scissors, find the desired chapter in the textbook.

7. Do what you do for fun, not for mythical future success. For example, five minutes of stretching exercises will give your body pleasant muscle tone, and will not turn you into the heroine of the cover of a glossy magazine.

8. Allow yourself from the very beginning to use high-quality, not “student” materials, tools, and equipment. Buy beautiful sports uniforms, new paints, find professional courses. You deserve it!

9. Find incentives that will become your positive reinforcement. Promise yourself a reward for each stage you complete - and be sure to keep your promises.

10. Alternate work and relaxation. This could be a “15 minutes of work - 15 minutes of rest” scheme, or a “useful” hour and a “useless” half hour - spend them in joyful idleness or with a cup of tea.

11. Determine your priorities and understand what is truly important to you now. Make a list and rank the items according to importance, then take action!

12. Break each large task into many small ones and move in small steps.

Oh, how often does it appear in our lives Magic word"Necessary!" And there is no escape from it. Unfortunately, we do not have the luxury of doing only what we like, so we have to do things that are not entirely loved and pleasant. How can you help yourself successfully cope with them, overcome your laziness and reluctance to do something? There are three effective techniques for this.

1. “Eat an elephant” technique

Let's say there is a very large and difficult task. Now imagine that this is an elephant! Very large and heavy. And you are very, very hungry and want to eat it. But since the elephant is huge, it will not be possible to eat it right away, in one sitting. Therefore, you will have to cut it into pieces, each of which can be successfully eaten.

It’s the same with business. Don’t try to embrace the immensity and do everything at once! This is unrealistic. When we set ourselves unrealistic goals, we only undermine faith in ourselves and our strengths. The so-called “baby or small steps” method is much more effective. In other words, the problem must be divided into several smaller subtasks that can be solved separately. By the way, the elephant is big, there is enough of it for everyone, so you can treat someone else. It’s the same with things: if possible, involve acquaintances, colleagues, friends in their implementation, don’t be shy about asking for it, because mutual assistance is a great thing!

2. Swiss cheese technique

If you don’t know how to force yourself to take on an important but difficult task, try turning it into “Swiss cheese.” This analogy works very simply: like in cheese, you need to make “holes” in the task - these will be the so-called tasks rapid response. They will only take up to 5 minutes, but at the same time they will allow you to make a little progress in completing the work and make the next steps easier. For example, do phone call, sort the literature, edit one paragraph. The main thing is that these are tasks that can be started quickly and easily completed.

3. Technique “Leave disgust - eat the frog”!

Do you know what is meant by the phrase “eat a frog” in the West? This means doing the most difficult and unpleasant task. And this must be done at the very beginning of the working day. How it works? Having completed your least favorite job first, you will, with a feeling of relief and accomplishment, take on other tasks, which, compared to the “frog”, will seem like manna from heaven :) It’s like drinking a spoonful of healthy, but disgusting fish oil before the meal that will be the most a real delicacy :)

What techniques do you use to perform difficult or unpleasant tasks?

After working with the list of your unfinished tasks, you will clearly find those that do not fit into the period of half an hour or an hour. They require significantly more time and involve multi-step actions. They are so voluminous that we sometimes don’t know which side to approach them from. Sort of elephants. And since they are not particularly urgent, interaction with them is postponed and postponed.

As a rule, these are the things that are actually important. Yes, they don't, but they can do it well. They can take her to new level. They require us to overcome and make efforts. And that’s why I always want to allocate more time for them in order to deal with them properly, with feeling, with arrangement. We kind of prepare ourselves internally for them. We are gaining strength.

Yes, we are preparing to eat the elephant instead of already starting to eat it. Or more precisely, we are preparing to live, instead of already living.

This is also very familiar to me. And now there are several such elephants standing in front of me. And for the second week now I’ve been “keeping them in the freezer” instead of starting to “butcher the carcass.” And this is the second week when the outside world with its affairs controls me, and not I control outside world based on your goals. Sad? A little bit yes. What motivates me when I do this? My desire for thoroughness. Sometimes too much. For you it may be something different, something of your own.

Why am I sharing this? Besides, elephants arise in each of us. More precisely, for everyone who wants more from life. Because we strive to swim against the current. And sometimes the current turns out to be stronger, and we allow it to carry us away. As in my example. The main thing is to catch yourself in time and start rowing in the right direction. Toward your goals. And if we want more, then our goals are usually ambitious. Ambitious for ourselves at this stage of life. It's like we're challenging ourselves. Challenge, can I overcome this elephant or not?

So, back to the big things (elephants). You can overcome them if you absorb them piece by piece. Break a large project into a number of large pieces. And then divide each large piece into several smaller ones. And each small one for several small tasks. You will get a diagram in the form of a tree. And every small task is a specific task or action that can be done using a quick shooting method. And there, in small pieces, you yourself won’t notice how big elephant begins to decrease in size.

The main thing is to start by finding a little time every day to think through a plan for “cutting up the carcass”, and then to complete tasks on the elephant. Give this task priority status and complete it as soon as possible before other tasks. Then you will feel that you are living based on your interests.

Continuing the theme about fluffy tails. After working with the list of your unfinished tasks, you will clearly find those that do not fit into the period of half an hour or an hour. They require significantly more time and involve multi-step actions. They are so voluminous that we sometimes don’t know which side to approach them from. Sort of elephants. And since they are not particularly urgent, interaction with them is postponed and postponed.
As a rule, these are the things that are actually important. Yes, they are not on time, but they can qualitatively change our lives. They can take it to the next level. They require us to overcome and make efforts. And that’s why I always want to allocate more time for them in order to deal with them properly, with feeling, with arrangement. We kind of prepare ourselves internally for them. We are gaining strength.
Yes, we are preparing to eat the elephant instead of already starting to eat it. Or more precisely, we are preparing to live, instead of already living.
This is also very familiar to me. And now there are several such elephants standing in front of me. And for the second week now I’ve been “keeping them in the freezer” instead of starting to “butcher the carcass.” And this is the second week when the outside world with its affairs controls me, and I do not control the outside world based on my goals. Sad? A little bit yes. What motivates me when I do this? My desire for thoroughness. Sometimes too much. For you it may be something different, something of your own.
Why am I sharing this? Besides, elephants arise in each of us. More precisely, for everyone who wants more from life. Because we strive to swim against the current. And sometimes the current turns out to be stronger, and we allow it to carry us away. As in my example. The main thing is to catch yourself in time and start rowing in the right direction. Toward your goals. And if we want more, then our goals are usually ambitious. Ambitious for ourselves at this stage of life. It's like we're challenging ourselves. Challenge, can I overcome this elephant or not?
So, back to the big things (elephants). You can overcome them if you absorb them piece by piece. Break a large project into a number of large pieces. And then divide each large piece into several smaller ones. And each small one for several small tasks. You will get a diagram in the form of a tree. And every small task is a specific task or action that can be done using a quick shooting method. And there, in small pieces, you yourself will not notice how the big elephant begins to decrease in size.
The main thing is to start by finding a little time every day to think through a plan for “cutting up the carcass”, and then to complete tasks on the elephant. Give this task priority status and complete it as soon as possible before other tasks. Then you will feel that you are living based on your interests.