A story about a motorist. Folk wisdom: proverbs and sayings of motorists! Quotes with meaning

Cool statuses for motorists 2019

IN Everyone knows how to drive a car, but not everyone knows how to drive it ...

E The only speed limiter in Russia is a car flashing its headlights in the oncoming lane.

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T Tajikistan announced the recall of 15,000 Gazel drivers due to problems in the head of the driver block.

E If you are stuck in a traffic jam, you can sell your car and buy a car closer to the traffic lights.

X I want to live to see the time when somewhere in Europe or America they will say: "And I took a three-year-old car from Russia."

H that's all, beware gentlemen pedestrians - I got a driver's license ..

W LA SASHA ON THE HIGHWAY AND SUCKED DRYING! THIS IS THE CAUSE OF THE ACCIDENT - A FUCKING FUCK!

T if you eat, you owe less...

I I constantly confuse the amount of alcohol that a driver is allowed to drink with the amount of alcohol that is allowed to be taken abroad.

WITH The secret of safe driving - imagine that you forgot your license at home ...

TO How does a bus driver swear at children when they cut him off?
- "The chewed mole!"

TO As experience shows, there is only one normal driver on the roads - you yourself. All the rest are either scorchers or brakes.

P Why doesn't a woman shake off the hose after refueling the car?!? Well, where does she get this reflex from?

X good thing speed bump - and regulates the speed, and it's nice to move.

D The ur of a Russian driver is directly proportional to the engine power of his car.

R dressed to crawl - get out of the left lane!

IN In Russia, the only prohibition sign is a concrete block across the road, the rest are warning signs.

H E LOOK AT PRIESTS AND LOOK AT STOPYYY!!

X hotel to buy the six hundredth Mercedes, but there is enough money for the seven, and then to the Baltic!... / Super-Status.ru

T Only in Russia can laughter be heard from an overturned car. / super-status.ru

G arazh is a favorite resting place for motorists.

H and what if I'm in a Zhiguli, but you are in a Pezhopezhope.

AND Ena got behind the wheel, I will carefully cross the road ...

A accidents happen because today's drivers are driving tomorrow's roads in tomorrow's cars at the day after tomorrow's speed.

90% drivers believe they know how to drive better than most.

WITH Now having an expensive car does not show how cool you are, but most often shows how much you owe..

E If you sit behind the wheel - be prepared for any turns.

T Only in Russia a person buys a car to stop drinking. / super-status.ru

ABOUT Very often there are drivers who just want to ask:
- I bought the rights, but I didn’t buy the “ride”?

ABOUT charming blonde, sitting behind the wheel, in an instant turns into a "painted sheep"

P When driving around our city, it is clear that for drivers and pedestrians, traffic signals are purely advisory in nature.

G the main thing is not to cross the street into the other world.

H The worse the car, the louder the alarm.

WITH Adyas sober behind the wheel you get into the pocket of the traffic police.

H and the request of the traffic inspector to give him the rights, I answer: "I CAN'T, THIS IS A GIFT"

WITH WITH THE INCREASING NUMBER OF WOMEN DRIVING, MEN WILL BE STANDING ALONG THE ROAD SOON...

IN remember parent! There is Life outside your car too!

P A smart driver usually exceeds the speed limit on a curve where there is no curve.

D evchonki, meet tomorrow at the fine-parking lot!

E then in foreign countries the drivers are "Schumachers", and in our country - "ALL THE FUCKERS".

A A car is not a luxury, a Zaporozhets is not a car, so Zaporozhets is a luxury?

T Now there is nowhere for normal people to buy rights ...

IN All traffic cops ask: "Did you drink?" ...... if only one asked: "Did you eat?"...

H The traffic cop, who yawned unsuccessfully at his post, felt the taste of an unextinguished Marlboro bull.

T only ours can laugh at a woman driving, sitting in a tram

H Don't drive faster than your guardian angel flies!

IN everything should be fine in the car; especially the brand.

E if you carry a good piece of brick in your hand and show it to the drivers, then they carefully drive around the puddles, and politely let them through at the crossings.

P rule of three "D" - give way to the fool!

IN drive the car not as if you own the street, but as if you own the car.

H and the request of traffic cops to give them the rights, I answer: "I CAN'T, THIS IS A GIFT"

E If you put on the map of Russia all cases of corruption of traffic police inspectors, you get an Atlas of Russian Highways.

IN Minibus drivers are a separate category. Crazy category!

M The bus needs to be driven as fast as if you were late for the dentist.

IN Have you noticed that when you drive, the one who goes faster than you is a goat, and the one who is slower is an idiot?

E his driving style is approved by the world association of homosexuals, and his intelligence is approved by the world association of housewives

T ische you go - less Russian

TO Rasta is a terrible force, especially if she is driving ...

G dirty car: corrosion protection

P omni: in another car there can be a cretin even cleaner than you.

H either the driver is high, or the pedestrian is not funny ...

IN There are two happy moments in the life of every car enthusiast: when he buys a car, and when he sells it.

H a folk omen: if the road has just been repaired, pipes will soon be changed here.

AND woman driving - "pantyhose drove ..."

T It's only when you're stuck in a traffic jam that you realize how fast trams are.

At I can drive, start and breed.

P apa, why don't we have a car? Because, son, mom is warmer in a fur coat!

T Only the Girl crossing the road think that if the driver missed it, then he wants her!

The woman behind the wheel is a stunning woman!

Behind the wheel I feel like a goddess ... I'm driving, and my husband is praying.

Women driving usually do not feel the dimensions of their car until a characteristic sound appears.

Do you want to evoke both feelings in a man at the same time - hatred and delight? - Scribble on the hood of his car "You are the best in c * xe !!!"

Briefly about myself: Year of manufacture 1973. Mileage 38. Light tan color. Height 160cm. Headlights are blue. Documents on hand. Tuning is not present. The body is not broken. The roof is in place. Brakes are ok. All options. I start with a half turn ....

The art of swearing comes along with the ability to drive a car ...

SMS from the wife: "I washed the car!" ... Husband, clutching his head: - Lord, let it be "Y"!

The phrase that is usually said to women who do not go to the green traffic light: - It will not be greener!

A woman driving a car without a driver!

What does the lady behind the wheel do in a moment of danger? She's hiding behind him!

A woman driving is like a star in the sky: you see her, but she does not see you.

If a woman wants to learn how to drive a car, the most important thing is not to stand in her way.

The woman behind the wheel is a creature that gets stuck in a traffic jam that wouldn't be there if she wasn't there.

On the way!!!Be careful!!! if a woman turned on the left turn!!! it does not mean at all that she will go right!!! She can go straight!

Love your neighbor .... Turn off the far one!

— Darling, look, I parked the car not too far from the curb?

- From the right or from the left?

Could you drive slower, everything flashes before my eyes.

- And you do the same as me - close your eyes!

- Hello, dear, I have two news: good and bad ... - Well, start with the good. - Airbag deployed!

SMS: I can't talk. I'm driving…

And I always have only one obstacle on the right - this is my husband in the passenger seat!

The peculiarity of women's eyes is that they are able to see someone else's hair on your raincoat and do not notice a fire hydrant when they park.

The blonde drives into the back of another car. The driver gets out of there and asks: - Have you ever passed a driving test? - Of course, goat! And unlike you many times!!!

Parallel parking is when you park, and you are completely parallel to where the rest will stand.

A woman is like a car, until you insert the key, it will not start. A man is like a helicopter, until you start it, you won’t spin it.

There are many mechanical devices that enhance sexual pleasure, especially for women. The best of them is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL with folding seats.

Have you noticed that when you drive, the one who goes faster than you is a goat, and the one who is slower is an idiot?

If you marry a good man, it doesn't matter what color his Bentley is.

Today, for the first time, I went behind the wheel myself ... Statistics of men who contacted me:

1) female - 15 times; 2) fool - 27 times; 3) ah, woman ... - everyone else is on the road.

A husband teaches his wife how to drive a car: - At a red light - stop, at a green one - you can go. Pay no attention to my frightened face.

If a man opens the car door for his wife, then it is either a new car or a new wife.

What lengthens when it is picked up, passed between the breasts and thrust into the hole? Safety belt! Not what you thought!

True love is when a man, sitting in the front passenger seat of his car, instead of the phrase “Brainless chicken! ! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? !!! ! Says with restraint: “My bird! Be careful driving! »

If earlier the guy on the new foreign car was a real kid, then now, girls, be careful, these guys have 5 year loans!

Well, I overtook, well, I didn’t turn on the turn, I cut it off, but not to see WHAT I SHOW HIM — that’s impudence!

Crying girl in the parking lot, Sitting in a brand new BMW, All in tears and lipstick Three pedals, and two legs.

Do you have a car? - Eat. - Will you give it to me in the evening? - Ladies. Why did you ask about the car?

I'm driving a car and I see - the guy behind the wheel shaves! I almost lost my lipstick in my coffee!

Of course, the passion for cars could not but be reflected in folklore. Hundreds of aphorisms, anecdotes and, of course, sayings are devoted to this topic. "Autocentre" congratulates everyone on the Motorist's Day. As a small gift to cheer up - the funniest and most truthful automotive proverbs.

Lying on your side, you won’t earn on the Oka either

A gift is not expensive, a toll is expensive

Friendship is friendship, but pay for gasoline

The second day behind the wheel, and already got the teapots!

To go on red, you need to have a lot of green.

The best auto speed limiter is the wife sitting in the passenger seat.

A car is not a luxury. Luxury - means for its movement!

Be afraid of Mercedes - don't buy Cossacks!

Who gets up early will get to work without traffic jams

Do not boast of the mind, if you take Chinese xenon

Quieter you go - it means drunk

Not the one who is good-looking is good, but the one who has a Porsche is good

You go quieter - you owe less!

If you love to ride - love and ride!

More speed - less holes!

The police are most interested in human rights.

There is no more careful driver than the one who forgot his documents at home.

What a life - such a machine!

Smaller is better, yes Mini

Better an Opel in your hands than a Cayenne in the bushes

If you suffer for a long time - Zhiguli will turn out

Broke good - go by subway.

It's too late to buckle up when there's a ward around.

Do not sleep at the wheel - the country needs every taxpayer.

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The first car appeared back in 1806, since then mankind cannot imagine its life without cars. Today, a car is not only a means of transportation, but also a way of prosperity. In our selection you will find both deep philosophical sayings about speed and cars, and playful sayings about cars.

In the last century, cars were a sign of wealth and hard work. There was no such choice of brands, and it was not so easy to buy a car. Today, you can choose a car for every taste and color, there would be money. There is even an expression about rich people that they choose cars for their outfits. Whatever the car is, even the most expensive, even the cheapest, you need to learn how to manage it. And you don't have to buy the rights, but to get them!

A car is like a friend that suits its owner in terms of temperament and character, and with a friend, as you know, time passes unnoticed. It is not for nothing that wives are jealous of their husbands for their cars, because they are ready to mess around with their cars for hours.

The stereotype of "carefully, a woman behind the wheel" is gradually dispelled, the ability to drive a car does not depend on gender, hair color and everything else. Today, more and more often you can see a woman driving, the ladies, probably, decided to prove that they can drive no worse than men. When they get a car, they enjoy new tires or a full gas station even more than a new bag or lipstick.

There are more Hammers in Moscow than in Baghdad! I have a feeling as if the Americans are having exercises in Moscow.

We also have a lot of Porsches, along the way we also have Germans practicing ...)

Behind the wheel of a car, all women in the eyes of a man are stupid blondes, but he is a real jaguar, for which rules and other road signs are not written.

They laugh at women, but it wouldn’t hurt to retake the rights themselves again ...

Of all the creations of human hands, the car is most similar to a living being.

It’s not for nothing that husbands with them can “cheat” for hours ...)

Yesterday I stuck a second yellow exclamation mark on the rear window of the car, otherwise it seems to me that the surrounding drivers underestimate the threat!

I needed a badge with a shoe, one would be enough ...)))

Somehow, the phrase of the driving instructor alerted me: “Lord, save me,” when I released the clutch ...

Is she praying for me?

The car broke down and there is no money for beer - here they are men's critical days.

You can’t get by with ordinary Olweiss here ...))

New Lada! Speeds up to 260 km/day!

Yes, my legs wear faster ...))

Finally, I realized what I want a car! COLLECTION COLLECTION!

The main thing is that it be before the checkout ...)))

Moskvich '75 was stolen. The meaning is clear.

Someone wanted to join the Union ...)

Nothing amuses the national pride of a Great Russian like a Lada overtaking a Mercedes.

Nothing so amuses, and never so amuses ...)))

Statuses about speed, cars and girls

Where is the second speed?
- In car!
- More precisely!
- Between the first and third, you idiot!

You yourself are stupid, turn off the back ...)))

There is only one speed limit in Italy and that is the maximum speed of your car.

But we have not one, but one speed limit - our roads: and I would be glad to drive, so a pit on a pit ...)

Double Threat - A woman who teaches another woman how to drive.

When both are blondes, the threat is doubled)

The woman behind the wheel is a stunning woman!

And the look can amaze, and knock down ...)

Behind the wheel I feel like a goddess ... I'm driving, and my husband is praying.

Soon I will put a hat next to me, let him help ...)

I'm driving a car and I see - the guy behind the wheel shaves! I almost lost my lipstick in my coffee!

Okay, you don’t have time to drink coffee or put on makeup, but why do you dress in the car? Did you run naked before her?))

The green light of the traffic light always lights up after the beep of the car standing behind.

I don’t have time to look when the green lights up there, I haven’t finished painting my eyes yet ...)))

The blonde drives into the back of another car. The driver gets out of there and asks: - Have you ever passed a driving test? - Of course, goat! And unlike you many times!!!

Yes, I myself, in fact, did not pass until I paid ...))

What does the lady behind the wheel do in a moment of danger? She's hiding behind him!

What else needs to be turned?

The only speed limiter in Russia is a car flashing its headlights in the oncoming lane.

Especially when it's a truck...)

Accidents happen because today's drivers drive tomorrow's roads in tomorrow's cars at the day after tomorrow's speed.

And also because they have enough money to buy the rights...)

Quotes with meaning

Not a single pedestrian has yet crushed a car, nevertheless, for some reason, motorists are unhappy.

He sat behind the wheel - the pedestrians are stupid, you go on foot - the drivers are goats, just a constant reincarnation.

A beautiful car will adorn any man; a beautiful woman will decorate any car.

Jewelry taken, do not forget the rights!

The heart of the city beats with cars.

And the heart of the village is with bicycles and tractors...

If you are driving in a car and you were hit hard, get out and look: if it hit from behind - to add money, and if from the front - to decrease.

On the road, as in life: either you, or you ...

Don't drive faster than your angel can fly...

Not to rush to go means not to rush to live.

There is no more careful driver than the one who forgot his documents at home.

The main thing is to grab a wallet ...)

Previously, an expensive car showed how much a person earned, now it shows how much they owe.

Well, or how much he stole ...)

I don't know where the LADA I drove comes from. Or who made it. I can only guess that he was very angry about something.

What did the men do to him that he did this to them?

The new alarm "Grigory Leps", when you try to steal a car sounds: "But it's not yours!"

Vitas does not work worse ...)))

It is not easy in Russia to cross the street at a red light - cars rush to the left and right, they step on their heels from behind, they run head-on towards the front.

I don't feel that adrenaline rush when I play Need For Speed...)

Driving a car is a game of speed, it's movement, it's freedom. Here is the main thing, do not overdo it. As they say, you go quieter - you will continue!

A car is a means of transportation for finding spare parts for it.

A stall, two fences, a bench - into firewood ... Katya got her license yesterday!

There is such chaos on the roads! Scary right to buy.

Yesterday I stuck a second yellow exclamation mark on the rear window of the car, otherwise it seems to me that the surrounding drivers underestimate the threat!

If you, before crashing into a tree at full speed, begin to remember where the brake is, finally take a look in the mirror - most likely it is there!

It is well known that bulls are very irritated by the color red. Therefore, they try to quickly pass on the flashing yellow.

I wiped the windshield in the car ... and accidentally ... squeezed it out! What to do?! How to go?! Suggest some hairspray to keep the hairstyle!

The husband praises his wife: “Well done, finally you entered correctly, it’s just a pity that this is not our garage ...”

Accidents happen because today's drivers drive tomorrow's roads in tomorrow's cars at the day after tomorrow's speed.

There is no more careful driver than the one who forgot his documents at home.

Of the descendants of the monkey who first picked up a stick, the conductors left the farthest from it, and traffic cops did not leave at all.

The assertion that gentlemen are not to be found in our time is unfair! Today, for example, I saw a man holding an umbrella over his wife while she was changing a wheel.

Very often, banknotes help to get around the road

A new car is not always an indicator of how much money the driver has, sometimes it can be an indicator of how much he owes.

You go quieter - you owe less!

Toyota - drive the dream. Zhiguli - "Don't piss! Let's get there!"

If oil does not drip from a domestic car, then it is over.

Wind, wind, you are powerful, you drive flocks of clouds. Hear the wind, no need for clouds, bring the Land Cruiser Prado!

Rule of three D on the road: give way to the fool!

All traffic cops ask: DID YOU DRINK? .... At least one would ask: DID YOU EAT?

The traffic police is not only a law enforcement body, but also a right-selecting one ...

The driver is the most dangerous part of the car.

There is a truck for every scorcher!

I finally passed on the right! I want to buy a car for myself. Can you advise which one is best for a girl? - Washing!

Ever since I started driving, I have become more careful when crossing the road.

Moskvich-412, 74 years old, was stolen. The meaning is being clarified.

Note to pedestrian girls: you need to bypass the bus from behind, the tram in front, the Mercedes - past the driver's window, the Zaporozhets - by the side!

“Either drink or drive,” says the public service announcement of the traffic police on the streets. That is, they simply do not leave a choice for a person without a car.

Only in Russia sometimes you have to go around the asphalt on the side of the road.

- Who rattles and covered in dust? ... -It's going Zhiguli!