How to forget a memory. How do you force yourself to forget a bad memory? how to forget the past

Any person has a past, and often it gives him pain or unpleasant memories. I want to forget them quickly. It often seems that this is impossible. Well, how to forget the past, if it constantly reminds of itself and does not want to leave today's life? If a person lives yesterday, then the "door" to the future will be closed for him. But there are methods, and even several.

Things and memories

For example, you can get rid of those things that constantly remind you of what you want to forget. Or from those who are connected with this past. You can give them away, donate them, or just throw them away. The main thing is that they do not catch your eye and do not evoke memories. Things are easier, but there are cities, places that remind of something. In this case, you should avoid visiting those places, or even move to another city. Even if it's temporary, until the past is behind you. Then when you return it will no longer matter. The same can be said about people. If you need to forget a person, you must avoid meetings and communication.

Time

You can wait for time to heal. Any emotions gradually change to others, there is no constancy here. You just need to wait for time, and then the past will no longer disturb. It's not easy, it takes patience. It will be difficult, but you need to try to distract yourself with something while time heals. To work, friends, some hobbies. The main thing while it heals is not to withdraw into yourself.

Rethinking

A more difficult option is rethinking. Any negative situation always brings positive consequences. The world is harmonious, therefore, taking something away, it gives back more or better. If you lost your job, it means you will find a better job, or you can even start working for yourself and earn much more. In addition, it will be possible to travel the world, in the end, sleep and relax. To understand what was gained in exchange for what was lost, you need to take a pen and a piece of paper, and then describe in detail all the positive aspects of your current situation.

A change of scenery

Change of scenery is another effective way. Change everything you want to forget, change it. You can just go on vacation, live in a tent on the shore, settle in a country house, and if you want to forget a person, start a new relationship. A change of scenery is not necessarily an escape. Moreover, not everyone has such an opportunity. But you can make repairs, change the interior.

Goals

Another way to forget the past is to keep yourself busy. You need to set a goal for yourself. And even if it is difficult, so much the better. For example, organize your own successful business, albeit a small one. Or start a family. This will take a lot of time and effort, and therefore there will simply be no time to think about the past.

Dianetics

You can also use another method. This is Dianetics. The essence of this method is that you need to find free time, get comfortable, relax, and mentally constantly scroll through what torments you. And so several times. At least ten. At the same time, it is necessary to remember and experience exactly what needs to be forgotten. And will be forgotten. Just because you get tired of thinking about the same thing.

How to forgive the past

How to forget and forgive the past, if it is constantly remembered, and resentment seems to eat from the inside. Perhaps it was the person or situation that caused the pain, but in any case, the first step is to find the time and carefully reconstruct the events. Reflect on what caused the conflict. Discuss the situation, if this is not possible, talk to a psychologist. Try to look at the situation from a different angle, as if to "get into the skin" from the other side. Try to understand the motives if it was a person. It is quite possible that you yourself are involved in this, maybe by inadvertently offending someone, and caused that negativity.

You can just throw out your resentment, but not on people and work. For example, sports are great. Or you can selflessly help someone who is in trouble. And remember that by forgiving someone, you first of all help yourself, as you free your future life from negative attachment to the past.

How to forget love

It often happens that a person does not know how to forget past love, well, it doesn’t work out. It is clear that in one moment she is not forgotten, otherwise it was not love.

Past Relationships

Often the question arises: "How to forget past relationships?" First of all, you can not be alone with your feelings. But attempts to constantly blame the other half for the breakup will not lead to good either, since negative feelings are evoked. It's best to just reflect on the mistakes you've made in the relationship. And accept the gap, henceforth not allowing this.

How to forget a past ex love? What to do?

You can not suppress your feelings, this is not an option. You can recognize and experience them, but not resist. The latter will only increase the heartache and will be accompanied by constant memories. After a breakup, anger and anger often ensue. If you leave them in yourself, do not let them come out, then there is a high probability that the relationship will not be forgotten for a long time. Therefore, you need to find a way to throw them out, but not on others.

New attitudes and views

The ideal way to forget the past is to start another relationship. Feelings are constantly updated, fresh ones will be superimposed on the old ones. At the same time, new relationships are different, already pleasant experiences, they will also be updated, and gradually the old relationships will be forgotten. The main thing is not to look back and not try to strive to return what has already passed, since you cannot glue a broken glass, and if you glue it together, then it will definitely not be without flaws.

It happens that the question often arises of how to forget the past life. Everyone who strives for this has their own reasons. But you should always remember that you need to live in the present, life goes on, and events, people, values ​​are constantly changing, new desires and needs appear. It's good when there is something to remember, everyone has their own story. Just don't overuse it. From the past life, it is worth doing only work on the mistakes. And look back only to not make them again. The new cannot be built on the old foundation.

Find a compromise

You can't forget the past, you can only let it go. The difficulty often lies in the fact that a person does not want to change anything. Some people are afraid to start a new life. Initially, you need to decide what exactly is missing for happiness. If you need positive emotions, you can create them yourself for yourself. Buy your favorite book, watch a new movie, finally go on a long-awaited tour, move, change jobs, just come up with a small but pleasant holiday.

How to forget the past? There is a wonderful rule: "here and now." It is easy to decipher. Here is the right place to live. Now is the time to do it. We need to concentrate on what is happening now, as this is much more important at the moment. The past - it will not return, and nothing can be changed there. But the future can be laid out now, brick by brick. But the past will not distract either, since right now there is just a lot of work to build a new one.

What can the past give

It must be remembered that every minute of life is an additional opportunity to do something useful. And if you do not use it, perhaps someday it will not be enough. You need to live for today. What can the past give? Nothing, you can only look into it. Like a bag from which you can take something. For example, a good lesson.

Remembering the past, a person steals from himself not only the future, but even the present. And he does not notice that in life there is so much new and unknown, beautiful. Our century is generally short, every passing day cannot be returned. It is deposited in the past, which, like a piggy bank, simply collects memories. Therefore, it is better to fill this piggy bank with pleasant memories than to push sadness and tears into it.

It happens that girls in love often wonder how to forget a guy's past. First of all, you need to learn to respect both your past and what the other person had before meeting you. If it is the past, then it has already passed, it does not exist. But the person who is nearby is the real one. And possibly the future. You don’t need to cling to the past, it doesn’t exist, you need to learn from it, and it’s better to live today.

Most likely, everyone has memories that people would like to forget. A disturbing incident, an embarrassing situation, humiliation, insults from a loved one - it can be anything. And no matter how hard you try to forget it, the memory resists.

No need to suppress all unpleasant thoughts. There are times when you need to reflect on what went wrong so that you can learn from your mistakes and move on. But when the only result of your thoughts is to prolong the pain, you need to get rid of them and move on.

According to recent research, people can program themselves to forget everything on purpose. Here's how to forget what you don't want to remember.

Drive bad thoughts away

A conscious decision not to think about bad memories can help erase them forever. When you are reminded of something you don't want to think about, don't let your mind think about it.

Forget all the details associated with memories

To get rid of bad memories, forget about the details, people, emotions associated with them. Details may include smells, sounds, or images associated with the event that you don't want to remember. For example, if you don't want to think about a traumatic event, put the details of it out of your mind. It could be a song playing in the background, or the faces that were looking at you at the time.

Do it daily

Suppressing bad memories is difficult. Any thought that is suppressed tends to ricochet. For example, if you want to block out the emotions associated with a car accident, your brain looks for any thought about it to block it out. This makes it, so to speak, more accessible. That is, when you do not block it, the thought rushes back, again haunts you. Thus, you need to block memories daily. You need to regularly push them out of your consciousness.

Don't Focus Too Much on Blocking Thoughts

Blocked thoughts tend to come alive faster and stronger when you attach too much importance to them, pay attention to it. Recognize the fact that it is very difficult to suppress thoughts, but you must continue to work on it, while trying not to overdo it.

Avoid Triggers

Certain images, objects, smells, or places can trigger bad memories for you. Throw objects or images that prevent you from forgetting what you don't want to remember from your mind. Avoid places or people that remind you of your painful past.

Distract your mind

Another strategy you can try is to replace a bad memory with a good one. If the thought of past failure continues to haunt you, try thinking about how you succeeded at something in the past. Don't let bad memories affect your mood. As soon as they flood over you, start thinking about something good.

Associate something positive with a bad memory

Learn to associate negative thoughts with positive ones. This will help you overcome bad feelings. For example, think about your bad moment while enjoying a good movie, or doing something that makes you happy. A positive association will make your negative memory less painful.

Become aware of the memory

Another theory suggests that becoming fully aware of the memory and the negative emotions associated with it will help you deal with the painful emotions. Feel angry, sad, or hurt. Scream, scream, cry. Let go of your emotions to lessen their influence on you.

Use the release ritual to erase the memory

This is a mental exercise, a kind of ritual for releasing negative emotions or memories that have settled in your mind. Write down every detail of the memories that you want to forget. Allow yourself to write openly, knowing that no one will read it. Then you need to burn a sheet of paper. When you see the paper on fire, you mentally release the memory. In addition, you can also tear or shred the paper into small pieces, this also helps a lot.

Practice Mindfulness

Learn to focus on the present moment instead of thinking and worrying about your past, which cannot be changed or foreseen in the future. Don't live your day on autopilot. Notice and pay attention to small details, sights, smells and sounds. Regular meditation practice will help you be mindful and appreciate every moment of life.

Live your life to the fullest and create good memories

Always be around people who make you happy. If possible, travel and meet new people. Communicate as much as possible. This will help you form new good memories that will naturally make your bad memories disappear.

Don't sit idle

Think of a new hobby or physical activity. Devote yourself to creativity and take part in arts and crafts activities. Spend your energy creating something new, or try your hand at volunteering. You will be constantly busy with business, and you will have less time to spend it thinking about bad memories.

Talk to someone about it

Talking to a friend or family member you trust can help. Their advice, opinions, and similar stories can give you a different perspective on things and help you forget what you don't want to remember.

By following all these tips, you can erase bad memories from your memory and gain complete control over your life.

Even with great effort, we cannot always forget certain situations from the past. However, there are a few simple ways you can get rid of bad memories and start life with a clean slate.

Our life is divided into three categories - past, present and future. In each of these periods, certain moments happen to us that are impossible to forget. In this article, we will talk about what has already happened to us, and what needs to be left in the past forever in order to start living anew.

Memories of the past are moments that we can no longer forget. It doesn't matter if they are pleasant or not, we will always visualize them in our minds, because they are an inseparable part of ourselves. The past is the basis of our life. Every day we live can bring something pleasant and new into our life or upset us. Unfortunately, we cannot control our destiny and do not know when something important will happen to us. Because of this, unpleasant moments also occur in our lives, which leave behind not only consequences, but also negative memories. The experts of the site site offer you several ways at once with which you can let go of the past and start a new life.

Main Causes of Negative Memories

Living in the past is a thankless task. Sometimes a person involuntarily mentally returns to his former life and tries to realize his mistakes. However, in order to get rid of negative memories, you need to understand the reasons for their occurrence.

Death of a loved one. It is almost impossible to get rid of this memory, you can only come to terms with it. The death of a loved one can not only turn our life upside down, but divide it into “before” and “after”. For a long time, a person feels lonely, especially if he has lost a person who has always been his main support and support and with whom he has many pleasant memories.

Breakup or betrayal. Betrayal of a loved one is very difficult to survive. Cheating leaves a deep wound on the heart and makes us completely disillusioned with the opposite sex. A breakup is also one of the biggest shocks in our lives. As a rule, such memories fade into the background only with the advent of a new love. However, the fear of being abandoned again never leaves us.

Moving. Longing for former places and old acquaintances - this is faced by people who have changed their place of residence. Over time, we get used to the new city, make new friends, but the memories of the places we are used to never leave us. In this case, you just need to get used to a new life, find your pluses in it. Try to look back as little as possible, otherwise the moments of the past will never leave your consciousness.

Wrong career choice. Even in childhood, parents try to prove to us that one profession is much better or easier than another. Having enlisted the support of loved ones, we make a choice and do not even think about the consequences. Many years pass, and we bitterly recall those times when we chose our future profession, and we think that now it not only does not bring us the expected income, but also deprives us of joy. Many say that it is never too late to change your life, which means that in order to get rid of negative memories and hated work, you just need to make a decision on your own and finally choose the kind of activity that you like.

Ways to get rid of negative memories

Before learning about ways to get rid of negative memories, tune in a positive way. Do not forget that in addition to unpleasant moments in life, there are many good things. Suffering and complaining is not the way out. In this way, you harm yourself by refusing to let go of the past and start living from scratch.

Analyze your past. Before you get rid of negative memories, you need to understand some moments of your past. At this stage you need:

• Let go of the past. Having experienced a series of failures, a person begins to think that one day they will be repeated in his life, and thus attracts them. Whatever mistakes you have made in the past, you must let go of the memories of them. No need to put up with the fact that troubles will occur in your life, try to present your future in the best light.
• Admit your guilt. Everything that happens in our lives is partly our fault. You should not blame other people for your problems, because no one decides what you should do in a certain situation. To start life anew, you need to admit that your mistakes are your fault. Thus, you can draw conclusions for yourself and avoid difficulties in the future.
• Forget your mistakes. Perhaps once you betrayed a loved one or committed another, no less bad deed. This does not mean that memories of him and a sense of shame should haunt you all your life. At this stage, it is important to understand that you are a person, and it is common for any person to make mistakes. Your task is to avoid doing things in the future that will make you torture yourself.

After analyzing your past, you must draw a conclusion for yourself. If at this stage you got rid of some unpleasant memories and were able to forgive yourself, then you did everything right.

Take a lesson from the past. Everything that happens to us should not disappear without a trace. Even from an unpleasant situation, you can learn a useful lesson that will help you avoid missteps in the future. Our past is an invaluable experience, because all the events that took place directly related to us. Your task is to draw from it the main and useful and let it go. However, not many people are able to do this. Many continue to step on the same rake, clinging to a past life and making mistake after mistake.

Release from negative memories. The most important stage has come, at which you must completely get rid of negative memories. For this you will need:

• Choose the right mood. Start every morning with the thought that today will bring you new pleasant memories.
• Psychological reception with water. If negative memories don't leave you, turn on the faucet and imagine them flowing away with the water.
• Get rid of things that are associated with negative memories. If there are things in the house with which you have negative memories, get rid of them. For example, after parting with a loved one, you do not need to keep gifts and joint photos, no matter how dear they are to you. One look at them will pull you into the past, preventing you from moving forward.
• Change the environment. If the environment around you makes you sad and provokes unpleasant memories, make changes to it. In this case, you can do repairs or buy new furniture. If you have long wanted to change your place of residence, then the time has come to take action. Such chores will not only help you distract from negative thoughts, but will also be the first step towards starting a new life.
• Change appearance. To understand your true inner state, you need to look at yourself in the mirror. Most likely, your appearance will even make you feel sorry for yourself. Think about whether your memories are worth such sacrifices? Head to the beauty salon, fitness center and browse the boutiques. Change your appearance so that, looking at your reflection, you feel confident and ready for new victories and achievements.
• Thank and forgive your offenders. Of course, you do not need to make an appointment in person for every offender, but mentally you must forgive them, even if it is not easy. Resentment, hatred, anger, the desire for revenge - all this is an extra burden that prevents you from starting a new life. Get rid of it and you will feel better.
• Master meditation. Meditative practices help to relax and release thoughts from everything unnecessary, including negative memories. With the help of meditation, you will learn to focus your attention only on important and pleasant things, which means that the past itself will go into the background.
• Get rid of bad habits. Bad habits litter a person's life. Minutes that you could spend on something more important and useful, you spend to your detriment. First of all, you need to get rid of alcohol. Alcoholic drinks have a negative effect on the nervous system, and during their use, people begin to be overcome by past life memories and negative thoughts. By getting rid of addictions, you will do a huge service to yourself and your body.

Meditation to get rid of unpleasant thoughts and memories

Meditation is the best way to relax and get rid of negative memories. This meditation practice is notable for its simplicity, and it can be performed at any time of the day.

First, choose a quiet place and sit comfortably. It is best to meditate in nature, but if you do not have such an opportunity, you can do it at home, but be sure to retire.

Imagine that you are in a beautiful place, a harmonious, peaceful atmosphere reigns around you, and the only thing that prevents you from taking a step forward is a heavy bag that you hold in your hands. In your mind, you must open it and see that there are stones in it. Imagine that each of them is one of your unpleasant memories. Start mentally throwing them out of your life by repeating:

• I let go of my past;
• I myself (a) can control my thoughts;
• I am free from my memories;
• I am ready to part with my memories and start a new life;
• I live in the present;
• I love only myself and my family;
• I can meet a new love;
• I will find

A memory is not a one-dimensional thought or idea. This is the sum of impressions from specific events in your past. You remember not a point in time, but a lot of sensual details.

For example, if you try to remember a pleasant day spent on the beach as a child, not only the image of the river will come to mind. You will remember how warm the sand was, the smell of the wind and the taste of ice cream bought at the kiosk across the street.

Any of these sensations can become a trigger. When you buy a sundae, similar in taste to the one from childhood, you will be transported again to a hot day on a river beach.

Thus, memories are inseparable from the context.

2. How to manage memories?

Context is the most important factor for someone who wants to learn how to manage their memories. After all, with its help you can fix the memory. The wider and brighter the context, the stronger we remember the event.

Let's go back to the memory of a hot day at the beach. It is desirable that you detail, environment, emotions and feelings. Then the context will be formed.

If you remember the light flow of river water, the warm sand of the coast, the hot asphalt of the path next to your umbrella and the creamy taste of ice cream, the memory of this day will remain very vivid and complete for many years. The wider the context, the more varied the experience. It is he who we resurrect in memory when we recall a hot day spent in childhood.

So if we know how to use context to create a memory, can we find a way to erase our memory?

3. How can memories be erased?

The strategy of forgetting might be to allow oneself to forget particular details of the event in order to destroy the memory entirely.

To test this assumption, scientists conducted a study in which two groups of people took part. They had to learn words from two separate lists and look at photos of different landscapes at the same time to create context for the memory.

One group was told to approach the task very carefully: memorize the first list of words and only then move on to the second. The subjects from the second group were asked to first learn the words and then forget them. Then the volunteers had to repeat what they remembered.

The brain activity of the participants in the experiment was studied using functional MRI. It turned out that the subjects who forgot the learned words had a much lower level of activity in the part of the brain that is responsible for image processing. This group of participants simply let the words and images slip through their minds.

When the brain tries to remember words, facts, images, it is constantly working to create context. When the brain tries to forget something, it initially rejects the context and abstracts from it. Therefore, a memory is created with difficulty and does not last long.

If we return to the beach example, we can say this: in order to forget this day, you should specifically try to forget the taste of ice cream and hot sand under your feet.

4. Can I delete a memory completely?

Does this method work always and 100%? Of course not. To say that scientists have discovered a magical way to forget, as in the movie "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", is impossible. We know too little about the brain and can't erase memories.

Forgetting is very helpful. We can use it to get through a traumatic experience or painful event more easily. Forgetting is necessary to clear the brain of unnecessary information.

In the experiment, participants remembered and forgot simple things: words and pictures. A real memory is dozens of details and sensory impressions, so erasing it is not so easy. But this research is the first step at the beginning of a very intriguing and alluring journey.

It looks like we can figure out how to forget unpleasant and unnecessary things. More importantly, we will learn to remember happy days and moments for life.

It's not just your life that has had so much negativity. Most people have terrible memories that need to be released for a second and they will gobble them up. Therefore, let's talk about how to forget bad memories. By the way, if you can do it, your psychological state will change for the better, which means that the present will become a little better.

Is a psychotherapist needed?

Sometimes they just sit and say yes, shaking their heads. The same thing happens when communicating with friends: a friend sits and agrees, it all comes down to grinding a terrible past and tearing old wounds. So, we do not need such a psychotherapist. But a more sensible one is quite suitable, but only on the condition that you will work together.

Both cognitive therapy and body-oriented therapy can help. And here is a rather effective method from a psychotherapist who suggested to the author how to get rid of bad memories (well, or part of them) in a week. We just start a notebook (possibly with an ugly picture) and for a whole week we write down all the bad memories of childhood with youth, as well as maturity.

We are not shy and pour everything. The second option is from Lissy Moussa's simoron: we write down all the muck on small pieces of paper, and everywhere, even at work, even in a trolleybus. Also spend a week on this. And on Saturday we string everything on a thread and wear it on our belt like a tail. There is only one result: both the tail and the notebook must be burned on Sunday evening and the ashes scattered. After walking from that place with a quick step and not looking back.

If this is labor-intensive and unpleasant for you, just shout out and speak out, even to an assenting friend who is ready to grind this negativity for the umpteenth time. The next thing to do is to extract a spoonful of honey from all this and understand what was the use of all this evil. Well, now you can get rid of this rubbish of negative memories.

Forgive

We forgive ourselves and forgive those who have become a source of bad memories. A mature person fully understands that at the time of the wrong act, he probably had no other choice. Like the one who offended him. The only thing you can do here is to forgive. Try to understand what is unacceptable for you (insults, betrayal, humiliation of your neighbor, self-affirmation at someone else's expense, scams) for others may be the norm, because such people were not taught differently and they were not given the same upbringing as you.

And further. If you were once insulted or humiliated, this does not mean that you are bad. Perhaps the person simply asserted himself in this way, or pursued his own goals, upon reaching which you were just something passing.

We take the ball

There is one method on how to forget bad memories, at least for a short time. Forever, this method will not get rid of them, but it will definitely not let them take possession of you. So, as soon as something unpleasant pops up in our memory, we pick up the ball and remember the children's game: I know ten names of boys.

We hit the ball against the wall and remember the five names of the boys. We complicate further. Today you have seen ten beautiful things and done ten good days. It does not cure, but relieves pain.

And in general, active movements and physical activity can work wonders. Four times a week we do yoga or something from the “reasonable body” category. It takes a little time, but it's distracting. Helps in the first time after a flurry of negative emotions.

Getting rid of things

How to get rid of bad memories if everything around “turns on” their button? No way. So, we take out all the things that remind us of betrayed friends in the trash. We also send a photo of the betrayed husband there ... Things should not become a source of negative memories. Much more difficult with phrases and words that provoke.

Inventing an alternate history

In fact, memories can be completely replaced. Moreover, even the most negative memories are sometimes overgrown with unpleasant details that ... did not exist.

So why not replace them with good ones? Or even instead of loneliness, poverty and humiliation from classmates and parents in adolescence, imagine that you were popular, wealthy and loved by your parents.

If, in childhood, a dog attacked you and since then you have been afraid of them, then you can revive in your memory the moment that your older brother or father protected you. And then think about how good it is to be a saved brother or dad. You can also rewrite an unpleasant story from the past and change the course of events so that everything ends happily and joyfully.

Just an exercise

You can lie down on the sofa or sit in the most comfortable chair. The main thing is to be alone and quiet. Watch your breath a little. Try to imagine your memory in some collective way. You don't really need a clear picture - you want something that makes you feel emotions. And now attach the adjustment knobs to this picture: just like on an old TV.

If it's too hard for your imagination, a remote control that can turn off the sound and brightness will do. Now turn this knob or press the button on the remote control. First, we remove the sound to zero. Now, you no longer hear the insults of classmates or the former half. Now we remove the contrast of the memory.

And finally, we remove the brightness. As a result, an unpleasant picture from the past should turn into a silent spot. Do all this as smoothly as possible, slowly destroying memories. You can repeat the exercise when the negative moments again pop up in your memory.

The second option is to place the resulting picture in a room where there are a lot of lamps. And now, slowly but surely, we turn off the lamps one by one: the first, second, tenth ... the image becomes visible worse and worse ... You can also repeat this exercise. Over time, you will realize that the memory no longer hurts so much.

You can also imagine that what hurts you so much is just a dream from the past.

Also, remember that memories are just an imprint from the past. They simply no longer exist, just as there is no past. Were you bullied by kids at school? You can look at the children now passing under your window. Are you afraid? So, there is no past, which means that it is quite possible to get rid of it.